So here it is- "Smoke"! Sorry it took me a while to write this part up- I wasn't exactly sure how I would go about this… I really don't think it's mushy at all- I just think Bakura is definitely in for an interesting time when he has to finally speak to Ryou in the next part ("Pigeons and the Crumbs"). Um… I also don't think the rape scene is that graphic or anything… hopefully I don't get any complaints about that side of it… [looks at the readers threateningly] And yes- I understand that it's horrible to have Ryou-chan be rapped and all… but I would really have to say that it would HAVE to be something big for Bakura-chan to finally do something for his hikari!
Disclaimer: Read the first track!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
*…*: song lyrics '…': thoughts
Left of the Middle: Smoke
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
*My lullaby… hung out to
dry…
What's up with that? It's over…
Where are you dad? Mom's looking sad…
What's up with that? It's dark in here…*
The man sat silently, elbows
resting on his knees, finger tips touching- making a triangle of his hands.
Bakura's dark brown eyes were starring straight ahead into the street; the
rain's scent filling his lungs with each breath.
'Six months…' The man felt
as if any strength of his former self had disappeared. 'I can't blame him,
though…' A gust of wind made the rain fall hard for a few seconds. 'He looked
like he might really be happy with that girl he was with…' A flash of lightning
illuminated his calm face. 'Who was I trying to kid anyway? Thinking that maybe
I might be able to undo everything I did before..?'
For the entirety of the time
he was with Tea, it seemed that Bakura had always tried to hold onto a shred of
what could be ignited between Ryou and himself once again. But he had no hope
anymore. Ryou had moved on- and it seemed as if he should as well. But somehow,
he couldn't let go. Wet dreams that didn't involve anyone but Ryou were
frequent; he imagined his hikari in Tea constantly. It was as if the drug that
was his hikari was disappearing and he was trying to hold onto it longer and
longer.
'But I was so cold to him
today…' Bakura sighed, closing his eyes. The look on the young man's face
materialized in his mind. 'Such an interesting thing to do after I haven't seen
him in so long… I miss him…' He frowned. 'Miss him?'
"Yeah right…" His words
aloud tried to convince his mind of a fake truth. He smirked at it- but then
his face slid back into seriousness. "I do miss him…"
A hand touched his shoulder,
making Bakura look up; Tea bending over to look at him. "What's the matter, hun?" She smiled lightly, sitting down next to him on the
cold stoop. The woman shivered a bit, hugging her knees. "Thanks for taking me
out to dinner tonight." Bakura stayed silent, starring ahead at the puddles of
water that rippled with falling rain drops. "You saw Ryou- and you didn't say
anything. I'm proud of you." At this, the man glared straight ahead.
"I don't want your praise."
His voice was harsh.
"Hmph… well- I'm happy that
you didn't. I don't want you to leave me." Her hand touched his shoulder
lightly, he pulled back.
"What should it matter to
you if I talk to him?" Bakura finally looked at her.
"You don't have to hate me
because of him, ya know? I take care of you better than he ever did." Tea spoke
in a tone of self appraisal, looking up at the dark clouds.
'Shut up…' Bakura didn't
want her near him at the moment. 'Shut up…' Then suddenly he felt heavy- as if
a weight was being pushed down upon his shoulders. 'What?' He glanced around-
everything looked blurry for a few seconds- then returned back to normal. Tea
was caressing his back. 'What was…?'
"Let's go back inside, baby…
unless you wanna do it in the rain…?" The girl giggled, fingers running down
one of his thighs.
*Why… bleeding is breathing…
You're hiding- underneath the smoke in the room-
Try… bleeding is believing…
I used to…*
Biting his bottom lip,
Bakura reached his pinnacle, slumping down onto the woman underneath him. His
body was covered in fresh sweat of not only his body, but Tea's as well. It was
as if every time he climaxed, he was trying to rid himself of the pain he felt
for imagining a different person with whom he was with. The girl giggled,
fingers caressing the area at the base of the back of his neck, her calves
wrapped around his legs as she hugged him. Bakura felt empty- like he was about
to be swallowed by some sort of pain that he couldn't rid himself of.
"God… you're so good at
this… no wonder I don't wanna let you go…" She licked her lips, Bakura closing
his eyes. She kept rubbing it in, huh?
Ringing made Tea look to her
left at the phone on the glass coffee table. Reaching out, she picked it up and
brought it to her ear.
"Moshi moshi. Malik?" Bakura turned to
face her, she was starting to sit up. "Bakura? Oh- he's right here…" She handed the phone to him. "Something about him calling from the hospital or what not."
Tea slid off the couch, reaching for her scattered clothing.
"Hello?" Bakura sat up,
running his hand through his light hair.
"You need to get down here."
The male's voice was hurried.
"What? Why?" He massaged his
temple.
"Ryou's in trouble." Bakura
lifted a brow.
"What happened?"
"I don't know if I should
say this over the phone…" The voice sounded both nervous and hesitant.
"What the hell happened,
Malik?" He started reaching for his boxers, a slow sort of moving. It couldn't
be anything serious, right?
There was a pause. "Ryou was
attacked… some guys beat and rapped him." Bakura stopped moving, starring
straight ahead. "The doctors also found out he's bulimic and he's been cutting
himself." Bakura opened his mouth as if he was to say something- then suddenly
just turned off the phone, flinging it across the room, rushing to pick up his
clothing.
"What's the matter, honey?"
Tea walked into the living room with a mug of steaming tea in her hand. She
stood at the doorway, watching as he yanked on a black T-shirt. Bakura looked
at her for a second.
"Don't call me 'honey'." The
man snarled out, he was pulling on a jacket. With a quick stride, he walked
past her, going to the front door.
"What the
hell happened to you?!" Tea
snapped back, glaring at him. "If it was Malik- I bet it has something to do
with Ryou, huh? I don't want you to go see him."
"URUSAI!" Bakura boomed out, opening the door and stepping
out.
"I don't want you to see
him!" She was trying to command him.
"BAKA NA
BAITA!" And he slammed the door,
taking off at a run through the rainy streets.
*My mouth is dry- forgot how
to cry…
What's up with that? You're hurting me…
I'm running fast- can't hide the past…
What's up with that? You're pushing me…*
The sight of the pail young
man attached to wires and massive beeping machines caused the man to take a
sharp intake of air. Ryou's eyes were closed peacefully, arms resting over the
stiff cotton sheets. Just from what could be seen- there were cuts scattered
along his cheeks- a bruised eye- writs slit in several places, bruises adorning
them from where he'd been held. There was a clear tube attached to his arm-
he'd been drugged for sleep that may not even be full of rest. Bakura stood at
the foot of his bed, starring at the young man's abused face.
'How…?'
"I found him in the city
when I was taking a walk. Apparently he'd at least tried to put up a good
fight." Malik leaned against the wall behind him, arms crossed. "The strap to
the Millennium Ring is ripped- they tried to steal it." Bakura stayed silent,
hands were now gripping the foot rail. "He was holding it when I found him."
Standing upright, the other
male sighed, turning to face the exit. "Please don't hurt him while you're in
here. He's been beat up too much tonight." And he walked to the wooden door,
stepping out into the fluorescent lighted hallway. Bakura knew that Malik
wasn't serious in that he'd hurt his hikari right then- but he resented that
he'd make a comment like that when Ryou was so weak.
Sighing, he pulled a chair
up next to the hospital bed, taking the young man's hand in his- it was cold.
'I'm so sorry, Ryou…' His eyes never flinched from the serene face. 'Nothing
like this is ever supposed to happen to you…' The young man opened his mouth
slightly- breathing. 'I never thought-' Bakura
grimaced.
"That's right- I never thought…"
The yami closed his eyes. Flashes of all the beatings flooded back to him at
once- the pushing, the yelling, the spitting in his
hikari's face. It was all coming to him plainly: he'd been the source for
Ryou's self torture. He was the one who was making Ryou starve himself and cut
himself repeatedly. Bakura shook in anger at what he'd done before.
'Look at you now… this would
have never happened if I had been nice to you from the start…' With a trembling
hand, he reached out and ran his fingers through the young man's silver hair;
it felt soft against his touch. But Bakura could remember when he pulled it
roughly, treating the thin strands like pieces of rope.
Breathing in a tremendous
amount of courage, Bakura leaned down and kissed the young man's forehead. He
knew that his hikari would know nothing of it, but feeling the gentle skin
pressed against him at least calmed the man a little. Sitting up again, Bakura
shivered, his eyes falling upon a silver clipboard- the doctor's report.
*Why… bleeding is breathing…
You're hiding- underneath the smoke in the room…
Try… bleeding is believing-
I used to… I used to…*
Bakura closed his eyes,
opening them slowly as his fingers traced the edges of the silver clipboard. He
opened it slowly, looking over the first sheet, the doctor's notes scribbled
what medication he'd been given and when he'd come in. Flipping the page, the
dark eyes narrowed in anger. Everything the doctor had examined was listed.
'Extensive
bruising along back, hips, shoulders, wrists, face and neck. Anal penetration cause of internal bleeding-
attributed to no lubrication- STD tests pending. Excessive cuts along ankles,
upper thighs, abdomen, and wrists. Mild stages of bulimia
nervosa (mild teeth deterioration, gastrointestinal fluids lacking in
potassium).'
The man flipped through the
pages- there were pictures. Pictures of all the bruises,
and the scars- how Ryou looked when he'd been brought in. Lip bleeding, eyes
closed- bruise starting to show around his eye, hair in disarray. Bakura set the clipboard on the bed stand; he
wasn't there to protect his hikari like he was supposed to.
'I'm a failure… a-'
"Failure." He stared down at the young man's face once again.
"I'm a failure, Ryou." There seemed to be no way of denying it anymore,
everything was stacked against him- all of his pride was the root of his
actions. "Gomen nasai… Ryou…" He took the young man's hand in his once again,
kissing the knuckles with gentle lips. Bakura knew that once the hikari woke
up, he'd never be able to act the same- but he'd never know, right? He could be
as emotional as he wanted, finally pour his heart out. But that wasn't like
him.
His chocolate eyes were
empty in their longing stare at the young man. He'd dreamed about him so much-
about being able to hold him close and kiss his lips gently- whispering his
name. But now Ryou was lost in his dreams; body abused and literally rapped.
Bakura didn't know what to do anymore- was there even anything he could do?
He leaned forward, head
resting atop Ryou's bed, eyes watching his gentle hand. He closed his eyes,
sleep starting to take even him.
*Why… bleeding is breathing…
You're hiding- underneath the smoke in the room….
Try… bleeding is believing- I saw you- crawling on the floor-*
The dark walls echoed his
steps as he made his way to the single door, starring at the knob.
'Do I really want to do
this?' Bakura closed his eyes- imagining the sleeping face of his hikari in the
hospital room. Blindly, he turned the knob in front of him- light seeping into
his dark soul room. His dark eyes opened, starring at the white door in front
of him- he'd never seen it before in his own stubbornness.
With slow steps, he walked in
front of Ryou's soul room, starring at the silver knob.
"Ryou?" Bakura whispered lightly. He really had no idea what
he was doing- all he knew is that he really only wanted to cry at his hikari's
feet- he'd been the reason for all of the young man's pain. "Ryou…?" He reached
out to knock- but the door slid open slowly. The yami's eyes widened as he looked
inside. The walls were painted in white and pale green- pictures lined the
walls. Yuugi- Yami- Joey- that girl he was with in the restaurant. But pit in
his stomach was reached when he saw the picture of himself. The image wasn't
mad or upset, it was smiling lightly.
Bakura took a step forward into
the room- it was silent. The items scattered around included a deck of duel
cards, a stack of books, a CD player- the millennium ring. He reached down and
picked it up, memories flooding back to him.
*Why… bleeding is breathing…
You're hiding- underneath the smoke in the room…
Try… bleeding is believing- I saw you- crawling to the door-*
"Let go of me!" He pulled
his arm away, only to be pushed against the wet brick wall of the alley.
"Aw… why would we let you
go?" One of the males whispered into his ear. "You're a pretty catch…" His wet
tongue licked the young man's cheek, causing him to try and pull away once
more.
"Don't flinch, pretty one!"
A hand gripped onto the back of his neck, shoving him harder against the wall. Ryou
moaned in pain, yet it seemed nothing like what Bakura would have done; the
feeling of the sandpaper hurt his skin. His pants were ripped down- they were
all ready soaking wet from the rain and they felt cold as they grazed his skin with
wet knives. "And a nice ass, too! Gentlemen- I have
first choice since I picked him out!" The men laughed- their voices were
hurting Ryou's ears.
His hands were pegged
against the wall tightly, the back of his neck being squeezed, a tongue was
tracing circles along his exposed areas. 'Bakura… Bakuraaa…'
Ryou could feel tears starting to form at the corners of his eyes. 'Please…
Bakura…' He whimpered- the strange man had penetrated and it was sending shocks
up his spine; the young man's body wanted to collapse in pain.
"Ah… he looks so tight!"
"Hmph… he is!" Ryou's hips
were hurting from the strong hands against his skin. And it seemed that the man
behind him couldn't control himself- he climaxed quickly; their positions
changed- another man holding his head to the wall- and they commenced once
again.
"Uh…" The young man could
feel the man's breath against his neck as he came as well.
"You guys better have left
me with at least some blood!" The positions changed again. "Ah…" The final man
penetrated- he was moving quickly with the fresh blood spilling from the young
man's body. Ryou closed his eyes tightly.
'Bakura… Bakura….' He was
crying uncontrollably as the man climaxed; they turned him around, still
pushing him against the wall.
"Yes- a good one…" One
licked his neck- trailing down to his collar. He spotted the strap of the
Millennium Ring. "Look at this!" The man pulled the ring out from under his
shirt; it's color gleamed even in the cloudy sky.
"I wanna keep that as a souvenir!"
The one who had just spoke pulled hard, it ripped off Ryou's neck. They let go
of his body, they were turning to leave.
"No…" Ryou's
body slump to the ground. With clumsy hands, he pulled his pants up; he
could feel liquid running down his legs. "No… Bakura…" The young man struggled
to push himself up, eyes starring after the three men only a few feet away. 'I
can't let you…. Take… Bakura…' The pain he felt was making it hard even to move
his arms. Reaching out quickly, he grabbed onto the raincoat of the man with the
ring, punching him in the nose- he caught the ring as the man let go in order
to hold onto his bleeding face. The three began shouting- one punched Ryou in
the face, causing him to finally collapse in complete pain- another kicking him
in the stomach.
"Fuckin'
BITCH!" The bleeding man shouted.
"What's
going on?!" A voice called from
the opening of the alley. The three men looked up, then
ran in the opposite direction. Ryou was barely conscious long enough to see a
familiar pair of shoes run up to him.
*Why… bleeding is breathing…
You're hiding- underneath the smoke in the room…
Try… bleeding is believing- I saw you… falling to the
floor…*
Bakura let the ring fall
soundlessly to the ground. His knees gave out, the man falling to the ground-
eyes and expression both blank at what he'd seen. Ryou had been crying for him-
for protection. And he'd been having sex with Tea at the same time as his
hikari cried for his help. He'd let the woman seduce him- he'd felt the change
when the ring was ripped away- yet he did nothing but go and sleep with Tea.
"Ryou…" He put his head in his hands. "Ryou, I-" Tears started to run steadily down his face. He'd seen his own downfall- he wasn't worthy of being anyone's yami- he couldn't even protect the one person he had fallen in love with.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
All of your reviews are great- thanks everyone! (and thank you so much for not killing me because of the last track…!)
