GOMEN NASAI, GOMEN NASAI, GOMEN NASAIIII! [bows repeatedly] sorry this took
so long to write, everyone! This part would have been up AGES ago had the
disk I saved it on suddenly didn't wanna open the file. [kicks the wall]
and I was so proud of it! I wrote it and it was good- and DAMN IT ALL!
[kicks the wall] . [sighs] okay- enough. I pretty much had to make myself
settle with my second writing of this story. and it's.. k. I mean- it still
gets what I wanted to out. but it's still not the one that I wanted to put
up. But- I'm dealing with it, and I guess that's the only thing I can do.
^_^.' Anyway, this is a response to readers section (for once!)! Here goes:
Jello: Thanks so much for the support! I knew you'd be confused just by reading the first part considering you don't watch Yu Gi Oh, but at least give it a chance- it's not that bad! But still- thanks so much! [huggles and kisses her]
Soleia Nova: Malik? [scans through the section] well- considering that I really don't know that much about him, I was sorta scarred to even try and put him in- I can't really get much of a description of character from only seeing screenshots! [cries] It sucks cuz he's such a cutie! [drools over her wall scroll of him] he's hell-a good lucking, but it's hard to write about him. sooooo.. Anyway- I gave it a shot- he's in this one. I wouldn't say A LOT- but he's in it a lot ^_^. I tried, okay?!
Ryoubakurafan013: [gives rbf a kudos bar] Aww. a fellow Anzu-hater. [nods in approval] now the question is: do you hate Relena Peacecraft with the same passion? [taps her chin]
Setowriter123456: Wow- you like Bakura/Anzu parings? [smacks him] BAD, SETOWRITER- BAD! [sticks a band-aid on his head with a giant label that reads "Ceres approved"]
Frozen Moon: Of course the scene wasn't that bad! I actually thought it was toned down- A LOT. I was just sorta worried that I wouldn't be able to post it. [grumbles] and I can't do any NC-17 parts or nothing. grr. . I'm not so squirmish about them anymore!
Crystaldraygon98: [stares at her] daaaammmmmmnnnnn... you've really gotta calm down a little, dude! [hands her a butcher knife labeled "calm"] now go, good crystaldraygon- start slashin' anzu-lovers!
Okay-enough for now- I'll have to write more responses later- no time! . Anyway, on with the story!
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*..*: Song Lyrics '.': Thoughts
Left of the Middle: Pigeons and Crumbs
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
*Gotta get back- gotta figure out a way-
I'm losing- my senses. to you.
Where'd it go? That blue bird I should follow- back home?
But where is- home?*
"Ryou?" The words glided through the door like a gentle wind. The young man's features softened- listening to the tone of his yami's voice. "Ryou..?" Bakura repeated again. The young man opened the door towards him silently- but it was as if the man didn't see him. The yami took a step forward- he looked completely out of place with his all-black clothes- the black against the contrast of light colors in Ryou's soul room. Yet the look on his face was of complete awe and some sort of deep connection with what he saw. Ryou closed the door behind his other half, leaning against it to watch his yami.
The man kneeled and picked up the glowing millennium ring that lay in front of him- and the young man could feel nothing but shame because of it. He knew what it must be doing- why Bakura shook lightly: it was showing him everything that had happened. He closed his eyes- all the memories played themselves back in his mind alone. He'd been touched- nothing could ever change that. Strange men had soiled him and now there was nothing but shame and the anger that he knew his yami would have at him. But he smiled lightly- Ryou could to some extent be happy with the news of his yami's anger. At least with the beatings that he knew would rain down on him, he'd have a taste of what he'd been missing for so long.
The yelling would include something of- why didn't he fight back? Why didn't he kill them? Why did he even let them surround him? Ryou's intelligence would be questioned; physical stability would never be an issue. Bakura would yell about how weak he'll always be and how he probably deserved what he got from those men.
But deep down, Ryou wished that wouldn't happen- the part of him being told that he deserved it. Now it seemed that any happy thought that he may have ever contained was spoiled. The three men had stolen from him what he'd kept only for Bakura. The question of virginity would have never crossed his mind if there had never been Bakura.
The young man sighed, hugging his body closely to himself. He didn't think of his sexual self though- he could only think of how tainted he'd become. Used and cast aside like trash; left to die.
"Ryou." Bakura's sudden words made him look up; the yami had dropped the ring and his arms gripped his body tightly.
'Huh..?' Ryou took a step forward- a sort of automatic reaction.
"Ryou, I-" The man sounded as if he was chocking on even trying to say the hikari's name. Biting his bottom lip; the courage Ryou took was almost draining: He walked behind his yami, resting a gentle hand on his shoulder.
'I-' He closed his chocolate eyes slowly. 'Bakura, I-'
"I'm sorry." The young man felt as if his words were foreign even to his own ears. The tomb robber slowly stood, turning to face his hikari.
The living view in front of him seemed purely distinct. Bakura's dark eyes fell on a replica of the Ryou he'd seen in the hospital bed- bruised face, legs, arms- long silver hair that fell swiftly over his pale blue hospital gown- healing scars scattered over legs and inner arms. The tears that trailed the man's face only increased in the young man's presence. "What?" It was hard to even say the single word.
"M-Master." Bakura's streaming eyes narrowed. "I'm sorry." Ryou looked down, he couldn't take the look his yami was giving him- he couldn't read it. There seemed no anger or frustration and the instability was making the young man afraid. He would die, right? He'd looked into his yami's eyes- of course he would. His body tensed, it was ready for the beatings that would follow.
But to his surprise, strong arms snaked their way around Ryou's small waist, pulling his slender body into a firm and warm embrace.
'B-Bakura.?' Ryou's eyes were wide and he could feel his body shivering.
"No." Bakura whispered gently into his ear- the tone sent slow and gentle electricity through the teenager, his body finally relaxing and melting against his yami's. Bakura cradled Ryou's head against his chest, rocking him back and forth protectively.
'I'm so, so sorry, Bakura.' Tears were threatening to well at his closed eyes; he could feel fingers gently running through his hair. But somehow it didn't feel it could ever be that easy; Ryou slowly looked up at the man holding him. It looked so much like the Bakura he'd been used to- but what he saw was the man now with streaming tears and eyes closed lightly shut. Clear strands of tears were now starting to freely run down Ryou's pale cheeks- one falling atop Bakura's hand.
Dark, deep pools of chocolate slowly opened to look down at the young man; Bakura's tears hadn't stopped yet. "I'm so sorry." Ryou repeated aloud; he looked down- this is when it was supposed to happen right? The punch. He kept begging for it internally. At least then he knew it was the Bakura he secretly longed for- not this one that was too perfect to be holding him- and that he might just as easily come to love.
*Guess it won't amount to much.
Won't be long before I crush.
I'll stand in line-*
Bakura's lips could still taste the salty tears that had run freely over them for what seemed like hours before, but his hands busied themselves now- he was preoccupied and couldn't let his mind wander. He'd found flannel blankets among the organized things in Ryou's soul room and laid them across a small area to provide a make-shift bed for his hikari when he lay the young man's body on the ground. Sitting next to him, his finger tips grazed over the velvet alabaster skin of his hikari; Ryou probably knew what he was doing- assessing the "damage". He could feel his fingers caress his ankles- his hips- his neck. Every time he paused long enough for the wound to be remembered- Ryou would probably have no idea why he did it, but a feeling of revenge wasn't on Bakura's mind.
Slowly, Bakura's hands traveled to Ryou's arms, fingers tracing along the healing scars. //Don't do this anymore// He could feel his hikari flash open his brown eyes- he knew this was the first time Bakura had spoken like that since the months he'd left. Ryou sighed, closing his eyes once again as his yami's fingernails grazed the flesh of the young man's inner arm.
/It. it doesn't matter anymore./
//IT MATTERS TO ME!// The shouting took Ryou by complete surprise; even Bakura knew the words had been in desperate frustration. Ryou opened his eyes once again, Bakura looking back with tears that threatened to start falling.
The young man slipped his lids back closed- the yami couldn't deny the look on his face- fear. /I won't do it anymore, Yami./
*Don't believe a thing they say, today.
Seems we all get lost amongst- the pigeons and the crumbs*
His eyelids flickered lightly- then his dark eyes opened to the soft lighting of the hospital room. The entire place was silent- the only thing Ryou's eyes could focus on was the window across from him that opened to the crying skies, the rain seemed to keep wanting attention- tapping and never wanting to leave. He sighed, the young man couldn't turn his neck- his shoulders and lower back were stinging.
'This is great.' Ryou frowned as he closed his eyes once again; he was ready for the boredom to sink in.
A soft click at the door made him contort his eyebrows lightly- someone's steps were coming towards his bedside.
"Bakura?" He felt moving on the sheets- Bakura had been there? Ryou could feel his heart in his throat.
"Huh? Malik?" The deep voice slowly responded.
"Bakura, you should come over to my place- you've been here for days without eating or sleeping. Isis called a car over to come and pick up- it's here all ready."
"I'm not going."
"Huh?"
"You heard me."
"Bakura- please! It's not good for you to stay here-"
"I'm not leaving Ryou." The young man could feel a warm hand atop his.
"I know how you feel about your hikari, but-"
"Malik- I'm not going ANYWHERE." Bakura didn't shout his last word- but it was defined extremely well, producing a "HMPH!" from Malik as he plopped down into one of the visitor's chairs. A few seconds later, there were beeps.
"Yeah- he's not going- send the car away." He hung up his cell phone. "You're so fuckin' stubborn, ya know that?" Bakura's fingers intertwined with his own but he was scarred of making any motion- his yami would know he was awake.
"How long are you going to stay here?" Malik asked softly. There was silence and Ryou knew Bakura was probably contemplating everything.
"Until he gets better." The other man chuckled lightly.
"Whatever, Bakura." There was a pause before Malik continued. "Yuugi and the others are planning to come here today."
"What's your point?"
"I don't want you to cause any trouble with them."
"Why would I do anything to them?"
"They'll definitely have something to say about you being here."
"Do you think it matters?" Bakura sounded as if he was starting to be annoyed with his friend's single line responses.
"Not to you, but to them. They're gonna think you might have something to do with this." The hand of his yami squeezed tighter. "I might know that you don't want to hurt Ryou, but do they? They seem to think you'll start on a rampage for letting this happen to Ryou even when he had no control over it."
"You seem to know a lot about their opinions- I take it you've been with them more and more often."
"It's not like I have a choice, Bakura. Ever since you left I took it as my responsibility to look after Ryou."
"You didn't do a good job." There seemed to be no ill feelings in Bakura's words and the young hospitalized man could tell that Malik picked up on it as well.
"Bakura- no body could have known that Ryou was. you know- to himself." The young hikari could hear the sandy-haired young man stand and begin to pace. "He tried so hard to convince everyone that he was fine after you left- he fooled even me for the love of Ra!" He sighed. "Everyone was trying so hard to make him forget you, I guess he felt that maybe that was what he should make them all think."
'Please, Malik- SHUT UP!' Ryou kept yelling in his mind. It wasn't that he hated the young man- it was that all he said was true. Ryou didn't want to face the logic in what he was saying- he didn't want his yami to hear any of it. He'd been foolish- he'd been caught. There was no way to deny it anymore- even to himself.
*All alone- but I'm in a crowded room.
I'm sinking in quicksand, tonight.
You pick me up- and I shine across the sky.
Till morning- when you color me in.*
Soft whispering was slowly whisking him away from a soothing sleep- his yami had been brushing his hair, fingers running softly through his silver locks.
'Hmph?' Ryou's eyelids flicked- there were people in his room.
"Look- he moved!" Honda's voice whispered. The young man slowly opened his eyes, his vision welcoming the four people standing around his hospital bed. Yami and Yuugi were at his left, the taller with arms wrapped around his hikari's shoulders, Honda was standing at the foot of his bed, Joey was sitting on his bed with a hand atop one of Ryou's shins.
"Welcome back, Ryou." Yuugi smiled lightly at him, everyone nodding happily.
"Hello everyone." The young man smiled at everyone, reaching up as best he could to rub the sleep from his eyes. He covered up his disappointment quickly: Bakura wasn't there. "You guys didn't have to come visit me, ya know." Ryou smiled a little more brightly, hands rooting themselves to his mattress, trying to push himself up. But his arms failed from the strain- his entire body ached and it showed in the painful expression the young man made. Frowning, he tried once again, this time whimpering accidentally, the other males looking at him in worry.
"Her', I'll take care of, ya." Joey leaned forward enough to pull Ryou up into a sitting position causing the young man to look down at his clasped hands sitting on his lap.
"Thank you, Jou-chan." Ryou whispered lightly before looking around the room. "As I said before- you guys didn't have to come at all."
"We wanted to come!" Tristan smiled.
"Yeah- we needed to check up on you!" Yuugi reached out and took his hand- it was the same that Bakura had been holding for what seemed like eternities before. Ryou could automatically tell that the protective touch was never going to be imitated by anyone except his other half. "Emiru has been so worried about you, too! She would have come in today but her mom forced her to visit her sick grandmother up North." He nodded happily, Ryou's eyes shifting around the room- everyone except Yami was nodding. As it was, the young man didn't know how he could live with his friends knowing what had happened- and what he'd been doing to himself. The thought was suffocating.
"Well- thank you, very much for visiting. I haven't had that much company that I've been aware of." 'Except the only person I want to see right now.' Everyone looked around at each other in their agreement.
Joey frowned, looking around. "Wha's this CRAP these hospita' peopa' tryin' to feed 'ya?!" He motioned to a tray nearby, Honda, Yuugi and himself suddenly getting into a conversation of how much the food was nutritious. The time seemed appropriate- Ryou's eyes fell onto Yami's and the two starred at each other for some time. They were full of disappointment and at the same time a type of caring that he never really received from his other friends.
'He knows more than anyone why I was doing it.' The thought had just barely crossed Ryou's mind when a soft click made everyone look towards the door- chocolate eyes widening as they glanced around the occupied room- and finally fell onto the softer shaped eyes that mocked his own. Bakura stood there, limp wet hair indicating he'd just gotten out of the shower, clothes looking a little like what Malik would wear. Everyone starred, Joey immediately running towards him in a threatening way.
"What are 'ya doin' here, ya bastard!" The teenager spat out, Bakura's dark eyes looking at him in a blank sort of way. "'Ya shoudda never took a step inta this hospital!"
"Jou-chan. calm down a little." Yuugi spoke a little timidly- he'd noticed how threatening Joey's words had started to become over time when anything related to Ryou was brought up.
"No! Joey's right!" Honda joined in next to the other male, making threatening motions to the white-haired yami who looked at them with a blank expression on his face.
"Bakura-san, I'm really, really sorry about them- they've just been a little jumpy when it comes." Yuugi took a step towards the man, trying to bargain with the silent person as if he'd suddenly start smacking people around- apparently he had the impression that Joey and Honda would anger him and a fight would break out. But the man wasn't paying attention, his eyes had slid back to those of his hikari's who was watching him silently from the bed. The two were oblivious to the angry motions Joey was making in response to Yuugi's trying to pull him back.
Ryou didn't know what to think- it had all been a dream? He wanted to convince himself, but it seemed so hard for him. He wished desperately that the connection he thought he might have felt in his soul room had been real.
/Take me from here./ Ryou's eyebrows contorted pleadingly before he looked back at his hands, his open wounds were starting to heal. Through the communication though came the crash back to reality, the two's momentary lapse of noticing everything around them disappearing instantly. Bakura's eyes flashed angry for a second as he looked down at the teenagers around him before returning to normal.
Reaching out, he pushed the group out of his way- their argument stopping as they stood watching as Bakura went to the hospital bed and started pulling away the wire and tubes implanted in his hikari's body. Reaching underneath Ryou's knees and upper back, he lifted the feather-light young man who slowly wrapped his arms around his yami's neck. As he walked to the door, Bakura caught a glimpse of everyone's face- Yuugi, Honda, and Joey looking extremely shocked, and Yami- who looked mildly amused but very exceptive as well. The last thing Ryou's friends saw was a retreating Bakura, and a hikari whose eyes closed gently as smile spread gently across his face.
*Guess it won't amount to much.
Seems to me I've lost my touch-
I'm back in line.*
"You did what?" The voice on the other end of the line chuckled lightly. "Man, you just wanna get in trouble for abducting the poor kid, don't ya?" Malik sounded amused.
"Didn't you hear what I said? Ryou WANTED to come!" Bakura frowned as he paced the living room, Ryou's curled body laying nearby on one of the plush couches. "Besides- even Yami didn't have a problem with it."
"You suddenly care what the pharaoh thinks?" The yami stopped pacing, looking out the window with eyebrows contorted.
"I don't recall this is the reason I called you, Malik." He rolled his eyes and continued pacing once again.
"Gomen! I just wanted to have that clarified. anyway- yeah- I'll bring something over, alright? Is there anything specific you want?"
"Soft foods- soup, puddings and a lot of juices- nothing carbonated."
"Alright, got ya. I'll be over in an hour. Ja matte."
"Ja." And Bakura hung up the phone, sighing heavily. He looked to the couch were his hikari rolled over away from the couch, peaceful face facing him now. Biting his bottom lip, Bakura walked slowly to the young man, crouching next to him, index finger tracing his cheekbone gently.
'I've changed a lot, Ryou. I think it's almost sickening.' He frowned, the back of his hand caressing his hikari's cheek in a slow petting motion. 'If I'd have seen myself like this before, I probably would have killed myself or something.' He pulled away, sitting on the ground with his back resting against the couch. 'Why am I suddenly like this? It's not like I've never been rapped before myself. I was weak then- no wonder it happened.' His dark eyes closed slowly, he didn't want to think of the many times in his own past. 'But I guess that's why I'm like this. Ryou.' He furrowed his brows. 'I don't want you to turn like me. because you deserve so much more.'
*Don't believe a thing they say- today.
Turn around and walk away.
Everything will go your way- I pray.
Seems we all get lost amongst the pigeons and the crumbs.*
His soft eyes narrowed as he watched the trembling figure in front of him on the ground. Ryou took a step forward in the bright room- he knew who it was. Slowly and softly he slid his arms around his yami as had been done to him before so many times in his soul room. He could feel the quivering subside, the man leaning into his frail touch.
Closing his eyes, Ryou rested his forehead against the middle of Bakura's back- between his shoulder blades. "You never said if this was real." He whispered gently as a hand moved to his and entwined the fingers in his own.
*Don't believe a thing they say- today.
Turn around and walk away.
Everything will go your way- I pray.
Seems we all get lost amongst the pigeons and the crumbs.*
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Jello: Thanks so much for the support! I knew you'd be confused just by reading the first part considering you don't watch Yu Gi Oh, but at least give it a chance- it's not that bad! But still- thanks so much! [huggles and kisses her]
Soleia Nova: Malik? [scans through the section] well- considering that I really don't know that much about him, I was sorta scarred to even try and put him in- I can't really get much of a description of character from only seeing screenshots! [cries] It sucks cuz he's such a cutie! [drools over her wall scroll of him] he's hell-a good lucking, but it's hard to write about him. sooooo.. Anyway- I gave it a shot- he's in this one. I wouldn't say A LOT- but he's in it a lot ^_^. I tried, okay?!
Ryoubakurafan013: [gives rbf a kudos bar] Aww. a fellow Anzu-hater. [nods in approval] now the question is: do you hate Relena Peacecraft with the same passion? [taps her chin]
Setowriter123456: Wow- you like Bakura/Anzu parings? [smacks him] BAD, SETOWRITER- BAD! [sticks a band-aid on his head with a giant label that reads "Ceres approved"]
Frozen Moon: Of course the scene wasn't that bad! I actually thought it was toned down- A LOT. I was just sorta worried that I wouldn't be able to post it. [grumbles] and I can't do any NC-17 parts or nothing. grr. . I'm not so squirmish about them anymore!
Crystaldraygon98: [stares at her] daaaammmmmmnnnnn... you've really gotta calm down a little, dude! [hands her a butcher knife labeled "calm"] now go, good crystaldraygon- start slashin' anzu-lovers!
Okay-enough for now- I'll have to write more responses later- no time! . Anyway, on with the story!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
*..*: Song Lyrics '.': Thoughts
Left of the Middle: Pigeons and Crumbs
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
*Gotta get back- gotta figure out a way-
I'm losing- my senses. to you.
Where'd it go? That blue bird I should follow- back home?
But where is- home?*
"Ryou?" The words glided through the door like a gentle wind. The young man's features softened- listening to the tone of his yami's voice. "Ryou..?" Bakura repeated again. The young man opened the door towards him silently- but it was as if the man didn't see him. The yami took a step forward- he looked completely out of place with his all-black clothes- the black against the contrast of light colors in Ryou's soul room. Yet the look on his face was of complete awe and some sort of deep connection with what he saw. Ryou closed the door behind his other half, leaning against it to watch his yami.
The man kneeled and picked up the glowing millennium ring that lay in front of him- and the young man could feel nothing but shame because of it. He knew what it must be doing- why Bakura shook lightly: it was showing him everything that had happened. He closed his eyes- all the memories played themselves back in his mind alone. He'd been touched- nothing could ever change that. Strange men had soiled him and now there was nothing but shame and the anger that he knew his yami would have at him. But he smiled lightly- Ryou could to some extent be happy with the news of his yami's anger. At least with the beatings that he knew would rain down on him, he'd have a taste of what he'd been missing for so long.
The yelling would include something of- why didn't he fight back? Why didn't he kill them? Why did he even let them surround him? Ryou's intelligence would be questioned; physical stability would never be an issue. Bakura would yell about how weak he'll always be and how he probably deserved what he got from those men.
But deep down, Ryou wished that wouldn't happen- the part of him being told that he deserved it. Now it seemed that any happy thought that he may have ever contained was spoiled. The three men had stolen from him what he'd kept only for Bakura. The question of virginity would have never crossed his mind if there had never been Bakura.
The young man sighed, hugging his body closely to himself. He didn't think of his sexual self though- he could only think of how tainted he'd become. Used and cast aside like trash; left to die.
"Ryou." Bakura's sudden words made him look up; the yami had dropped the ring and his arms gripped his body tightly.
'Huh..?' Ryou took a step forward- a sort of automatic reaction.
"Ryou, I-" The man sounded as if he was chocking on even trying to say the hikari's name. Biting his bottom lip; the courage Ryou took was almost draining: He walked behind his yami, resting a gentle hand on his shoulder.
'I-' He closed his chocolate eyes slowly. 'Bakura, I-'
"I'm sorry." The young man felt as if his words were foreign even to his own ears. The tomb robber slowly stood, turning to face his hikari.
The living view in front of him seemed purely distinct. Bakura's dark eyes fell on a replica of the Ryou he'd seen in the hospital bed- bruised face, legs, arms- long silver hair that fell swiftly over his pale blue hospital gown- healing scars scattered over legs and inner arms. The tears that trailed the man's face only increased in the young man's presence. "What?" It was hard to even say the single word.
"M-Master." Bakura's streaming eyes narrowed. "I'm sorry." Ryou looked down, he couldn't take the look his yami was giving him- he couldn't read it. There seemed no anger or frustration and the instability was making the young man afraid. He would die, right? He'd looked into his yami's eyes- of course he would. His body tensed, it was ready for the beatings that would follow.
But to his surprise, strong arms snaked their way around Ryou's small waist, pulling his slender body into a firm and warm embrace.
'B-Bakura.?' Ryou's eyes were wide and he could feel his body shivering.
"No." Bakura whispered gently into his ear- the tone sent slow and gentle electricity through the teenager, his body finally relaxing and melting against his yami's. Bakura cradled Ryou's head against his chest, rocking him back and forth protectively.
'I'm so, so sorry, Bakura.' Tears were threatening to well at his closed eyes; he could feel fingers gently running through his hair. But somehow it didn't feel it could ever be that easy; Ryou slowly looked up at the man holding him. It looked so much like the Bakura he'd been used to- but what he saw was the man now with streaming tears and eyes closed lightly shut. Clear strands of tears were now starting to freely run down Ryou's pale cheeks- one falling atop Bakura's hand.
Dark, deep pools of chocolate slowly opened to look down at the young man; Bakura's tears hadn't stopped yet. "I'm so sorry." Ryou repeated aloud; he looked down- this is when it was supposed to happen right? The punch. He kept begging for it internally. At least then he knew it was the Bakura he secretly longed for- not this one that was too perfect to be holding him- and that he might just as easily come to love.
*Guess it won't amount to much.
Won't be long before I crush.
I'll stand in line-*
Bakura's lips could still taste the salty tears that had run freely over them for what seemed like hours before, but his hands busied themselves now- he was preoccupied and couldn't let his mind wander. He'd found flannel blankets among the organized things in Ryou's soul room and laid them across a small area to provide a make-shift bed for his hikari when he lay the young man's body on the ground. Sitting next to him, his finger tips grazed over the velvet alabaster skin of his hikari; Ryou probably knew what he was doing- assessing the "damage". He could feel his fingers caress his ankles- his hips- his neck. Every time he paused long enough for the wound to be remembered- Ryou would probably have no idea why he did it, but a feeling of revenge wasn't on Bakura's mind.
Slowly, Bakura's hands traveled to Ryou's arms, fingers tracing along the healing scars. //Don't do this anymore// He could feel his hikari flash open his brown eyes- he knew this was the first time Bakura had spoken like that since the months he'd left. Ryou sighed, closing his eyes once again as his yami's fingernails grazed the flesh of the young man's inner arm.
/It. it doesn't matter anymore./
//IT MATTERS TO ME!// The shouting took Ryou by complete surprise; even Bakura knew the words had been in desperate frustration. Ryou opened his eyes once again, Bakura looking back with tears that threatened to start falling.
The young man slipped his lids back closed- the yami couldn't deny the look on his face- fear. /I won't do it anymore, Yami./
*Don't believe a thing they say, today.
Seems we all get lost amongst- the pigeons and the crumbs*
His eyelids flickered lightly- then his dark eyes opened to the soft lighting of the hospital room. The entire place was silent- the only thing Ryou's eyes could focus on was the window across from him that opened to the crying skies, the rain seemed to keep wanting attention- tapping and never wanting to leave. He sighed, the young man couldn't turn his neck- his shoulders and lower back were stinging.
'This is great.' Ryou frowned as he closed his eyes once again; he was ready for the boredom to sink in.
A soft click at the door made him contort his eyebrows lightly- someone's steps were coming towards his bedside.
"Bakura?" He felt moving on the sheets- Bakura had been there? Ryou could feel his heart in his throat.
"Huh? Malik?" The deep voice slowly responded.
"Bakura, you should come over to my place- you've been here for days without eating or sleeping. Isis called a car over to come and pick up- it's here all ready."
"I'm not going."
"Huh?"
"You heard me."
"Bakura- please! It's not good for you to stay here-"
"I'm not leaving Ryou." The young man could feel a warm hand atop his.
"I know how you feel about your hikari, but-"
"Malik- I'm not going ANYWHERE." Bakura didn't shout his last word- but it was defined extremely well, producing a "HMPH!" from Malik as he plopped down into one of the visitor's chairs. A few seconds later, there were beeps.
"Yeah- he's not going- send the car away." He hung up his cell phone. "You're so fuckin' stubborn, ya know that?" Bakura's fingers intertwined with his own but he was scarred of making any motion- his yami would know he was awake.
"How long are you going to stay here?" Malik asked softly. There was silence and Ryou knew Bakura was probably contemplating everything.
"Until he gets better." The other man chuckled lightly.
"Whatever, Bakura." There was a pause before Malik continued. "Yuugi and the others are planning to come here today."
"What's your point?"
"I don't want you to cause any trouble with them."
"Why would I do anything to them?"
"They'll definitely have something to say about you being here."
"Do you think it matters?" Bakura sounded as if he was starting to be annoyed with his friend's single line responses.
"Not to you, but to them. They're gonna think you might have something to do with this." The hand of his yami squeezed tighter. "I might know that you don't want to hurt Ryou, but do they? They seem to think you'll start on a rampage for letting this happen to Ryou even when he had no control over it."
"You seem to know a lot about their opinions- I take it you've been with them more and more often."
"It's not like I have a choice, Bakura. Ever since you left I took it as my responsibility to look after Ryou."
"You didn't do a good job." There seemed to be no ill feelings in Bakura's words and the young hospitalized man could tell that Malik picked up on it as well.
"Bakura- no body could have known that Ryou was. you know- to himself." The young hikari could hear the sandy-haired young man stand and begin to pace. "He tried so hard to convince everyone that he was fine after you left- he fooled even me for the love of Ra!" He sighed. "Everyone was trying so hard to make him forget you, I guess he felt that maybe that was what he should make them all think."
'Please, Malik- SHUT UP!' Ryou kept yelling in his mind. It wasn't that he hated the young man- it was that all he said was true. Ryou didn't want to face the logic in what he was saying- he didn't want his yami to hear any of it. He'd been foolish- he'd been caught. There was no way to deny it anymore- even to himself.
*All alone- but I'm in a crowded room.
I'm sinking in quicksand, tonight.
You pick me up- and I shine across the sky.
Till morning- when you color me in.*
Soft whispering was slowly whisking him away from a soothing sleep- his yami had been brushing his hair, fingers running softly through his silver locks.
'Hmph?' Ryou's eyelids flicked- there were people in his room.
"Look- he moved!" Honda's voice whispered. The young man slowly opened his eyes, his vision welcoming the four people standing around his hospital bed. Yami and Yuugi were at his left, the taller with arms wrapped around his hikari's shoulders, Honda was standing at the foot of his bed, Joey was sitting on his bed with a hand atop one of Ryou's shins.
"Welcome back, Ryou." Yuugi smiled lightly at him, everyone nodding happily.
"Hello everyone." The young man smiled at everyone, reaching up as best he could to rub the sleep from his eyes. He covered up his disappointment quickly: Bakura wasn't there. "You guys didn't have to come visit me, ya know." Ryou smiled a little more brightly, hands rooting themselves to his mattress, trying to push himself up. But his arms failed from the strain- his entire body ached and it showed in the painful expression the young man made. Frowning, he tried once again, this time whimpering accidentally, the other males looking at him in worry.
"Her', I'll take care of, ya." Joey leaned forward enough to pull Ryou up into a sitting position causing the young man to look down at his clasped hands sitting on his lap.
"Thank you, Jou-chan." Ryou whispered lightly before looking around the room. "As I said before- you guys didn't have to come at all."
"We wanted to come!" Tristan smiled.
"Yeah- we needed to check up on you!" Yuugi reached out and took his hand- it was the same that Bakura had been holding for what seemed like eternities before. Ryou could automatically tell that the protective touch was never going to be imitated by anyone except his other half. "Emiru has been so worried about you, too! She would have come in today but her mom forced her to visit her sick grandmother up North." He nodded happily, Ryou's eyes shifting around the room- everyone except Yami was nodding. As it was, the young man didn't know how he could live with his friends knowing what had happened- and what he'd been doing to himself. The thought was suffocating.
"Well- thank you, very much for visiting. I haven't had that much company that I've been aware of." 'Except the only person I want to see right now.' Everyone looked around at each other in their agreement.
Joey frowned, looking around. "Wha's this CRAP these hospita' peopa' tryin' to feed 'ya?!" He motioned to a tray nearby, Honda, Yuugi and himself suddenly getting into a conversation of how much the food was nutritious. The time seemed appropriate- Ryou's eyes fell onto Yami's and the two starred at each other for some time. They were full of disappointment and at the same time a type of caring that he never really received from his other friends.
'He knows more than anyone why I was doing it.' The thought had just barely crossed Ryou's mind when a soft click made everyone look towards the door- chocolate eyes widening as they glanced around the occupied room- and finally fell onto the softer shaped eyes that mocked his own. Bakura stood there, limp wet hair indicating he'd just gotten out of the shower, clothes looking a little like what Malik would wear. Everyone starred, Joey immediately running towards him in a threatening way.
"What are 'ya doin' here, ya bastard!" The teenager spat out, Bakura's dark eyes looking at him in a blank sort of way. "'Ya shoudda never took a step inta this hospital!"
"Jou-chan. calm down a little." Yuugi spoke a little timidly- he'd noticed how threatening Joey's words had started to become over time when anything related to Ryou was brought up.
"No! Joey's right!" Honda joined in next to the other male, making threatening motions to the white-haired yami who looked at them with a blank expression on his face.
"Bakura-san, I'm really, really sorry about them- they've just been a little jumpy when it comes." Yuugi took a step towards the man, trying to bargain with the silent person as if he'd suddenly start smacking people around- apparently he had the impression that Joey and Honda would anger him and a fight would break out. But the man wasn't paying attention, his eyes had slid back to those of his hikari's who was watching him silently from the bed. The two were oblivious to the angry motions Joey was making in response to Yuugi's trying to pull him back.
Ryou didn't know what to think- it had all been a dream? He wanted to convince himself, but it seemed so hard for him. He wished desperately that the connection he thought he might have felt in his soul room had been real.
/Take me from here./ Ryou's eyebrows contorted pleadingly before he looked back at his hands, his open wounds were starting to heal. Through the communication though came the crash back to reality, the two's momentary lapse of noticing everything around them disappearing instantly. Bakura's eyes flashed angry for a second as he looked down at the teenagers around him before returning to normal.
Reaching out, he pushed the group out of his way- their argument stopping as they stood watching as Bakura went to the hospital bed and started pulling away the wire and tubes implanted in his hikari's body. Reaching underneath Ryou's knees and upper back, he lifted the feather-light young man who slowly wrapped his arms around his yami's neck. As he walked to the door, Bakura caught a glimpse of everyone's face- Yuugi, Honda, and Joey looking extremely shocked, and Yami- who looked mildly amused but very exceptive as well. The last thing Ryou's friends saw was a retreating Bakura, and a hikari whose eyes closed gently as smile spread gently across his face.
*Guess it won't amount to much.
Seems to me I've lost my touch-
I'm back in line.*
"You did what?" The voice on the other end of the line chuckled lightly. "Man, you just wanna get in trouble for abducting the poor kid, don't ya?" Malik sounded amused.
"Didn't you hear what I said? Ryou WANTED to come!" Bakura frowned as he paced the living room, Ryou's curled body laying nearby on one of the plush couches. "Besides- even Yami didn't have a problem with it."
"You suddenly care what the pharaoh thinks?" The yami stopped pacing, looking out the window with eyebrows contorted.
"I don't recall this is the reason I called you, Malik." He rolled his eyes and continued pacing once again.
"Gomen! I just wanted to have that clarified. anyway- yeah- I'll bring something over, alright? Is there anything specific you want?"
"Soft foods- soup, puddings and a lot of juices- nothing carbonated."
"Alright, got ya. I'll be over in an hour. Ja matte."
"Ja." And Bakura hung up the phone, sighing heavily. He looked to the couch were his hikari rolled over away from the couch, peaceful face facing him now. Biting his bottom lip, Bakura walked slowly to the young man, crouching next to him, index finger tracing his cheekbone gently.
'I've changed a lot, Ryou. I think it's almost sickening.' He frowned, the back of his hand caressing his hikari's cheek in a slow petting motion. 'If I'd have seen myself like this before, I probably would have killed myself or something.' He pulled away, sitting on the ground with his back resting against the couch. 'Why am I suddenly like this? It's not like I've never been rapped before myself. I was weak then- no wonder it happened.' His dark eyes closed slowly, he didn't want to think of the many times in his own past. 'But I guess that's why I'm like this. Ryou.' He furrowed his brows. 'I don't want you to turn like me. because you deserve so much more.'
*Don't believe a thing they say- today.
Turn around and walk away.
Everything will go your way- I pray.
Seems we all get lost amongst the pigeons and the crumbs.*
His soft eyes narrowed as he watched the trembling figure in front of him on the ground. Ryou took a step forward in the bright room- he knew who it was. Slowly and softly he slid his arms around his yami as had been done to him before so many times in his soul room. He could feel the quivering subside, the man leaning into his frail touch.
Closing his eyes, Ryou rested his forehead against the middle of Bakura's back- between his shoulder blades. "You never said if this was real." He whispered gently as a hand moved to his and entwined the fingers in his own.
*Don't believe a thing they say- today.
Turn around and walk away.
Everything will go your way- I pray.
Seems we all get lost amongst the pigeons and the crumbs.*
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