Chapter 1
As the snow fell and the wind grew more and more brutal, Samantha sat in the cold with only a light jacket on. A metallic blue Volkswagen drove by and came to a stop right in front of were Samantha sat. The window was slowly rolled down as a familiar face appeared. "Aren't you cold?" the person asked. Samantha swiftly turned away and replied, "I don't want to talk to you. I can't believe you thought you could just come back here, thinking I'd forgive you!" "Look, Samantha, I'm deeply sorry for hurting you, but don't you think you're overreacting?" "Listen, Brad. I thought that we were serious, but I guess I was just kidding myself with that thought. I was the only serious one in the relationship. You tried made out with my best friend. That's a big no-no." She looked back at him unsympathetically. "It's your own fault. Not mine." She turned and began to walk away. "Wait!" Brad called. "Just hear me out. I know that what I did was wrong, but can't you give me just one more chance? I truly love you." She turned back, arms folded across her torso. "Well." She paused. "You should have shown it."
She walked inside her house, anger smeared across her face.
A few days later, it was Monday-time to go to school. Samantha was reluctant, for she knew that she was going to see Brad numerous times in the day. Nevertheless, she had to go-it was the week of the dreaded exams. She woke at 6:30 and rushed to the shower. She stripped down and hopped into the shower. She quickly washed her hair, shaved her legs, etcetera. She got out of the shower and toweled down. She opened the door dividing her room from her bathroom, and she strolled over to her stereo and turned on The Break, her favorite band. She turned up the volume so that she could feel the bass on the walls. She returned to her bathroom to blow dry her hair and put her make-up on. She pulled out her brush and ran it through her thick, brown and auburn hair. She blew it dry as quickly as she could-8 minutes. As soon as she was finished, she put on her black eyeliner and mascara. She looked herself in the mirror and sighed. She walked into her room and put on her favorite shirt-a black shirt labeled with the words "I don't care. Go away." She put on a pair of jeans and schlepped her book bag downstairs. It was 7:04. She walked to the kitchen and got out a pair of waffles and put them in the toaster. She walked to the family room and put on her black Converse. The phone randomly rang, so she ran to answer it. "Hello?" she said "Hey, dude. What's going on with you?" It was Samantha's best friend, Roxy. "I'm really sorry about the whole Brad thing. are you mad at me?" Samantha chuckled. "Of course not. He drove by my house and tried to say sorry. I didn't care. He's too much of an asshole for me. "Alright. Good. Hey, I have to go catch my bus in a few, so I'll see you at school." "Alright." "Bye." "See ya."
At school, Samantha tried her hardest to avoid Brad, and she was doing rather well up until seventh period. She was walking down the hall to her class and she happened to run into Brad, literally. She dropped her books, so she bent over to pick them up. When she stood back up, Brad was walking away. She was flabbergasted, but nevertheless, happy. Roxy smiled at Samantha as she walked into chemistry class. She took a seat next to her and sighed. "What's wrong?" Roxy asked. "It's Brad. I ran into him in the hall and dropped my books. When I stood back up, he was walking away. I was happy, but it just doesn't seem like something Brad would do, ya know?" Roxy shook her head. "Why are you so worried about it? I thought you hated him. What happened to that thought?" Samantha put her face in her hands and shook her head. "I don't know."
After school, Roxy and Samantha started walking home. The conversations they had were nothing new, but somewhat less important-at least to Samantha. She walked along the highly traveled road with her hands in her pockets-Roxy slowly treading next to her. Roxy cleared her throat. "Are you okay, Sammish one? You've seemed kinda. blah sense you ran into Brad. What's going on, dude?" Samantha sighed. "It's nothing. Really. It just kinda freaked me out when he didn't make a big deal of seeing me, you know?" She watched her every step, black Converse bending with every motion of her foot, the rubber on the sides residing from the fabric. "Why are you so concerned? I thought you didn't care about him anymore? But I all ready asked you about this. so never mind. I don't wanna intrude upon your only secrets, kept sacred from the world." She grinned at Samantha. Samantha glanced up at her but immediately stared back at her feet. "I don't really know how to explain my feelings towards Brad right now. I mean, I hate him for wanting to 'do things' with you, but I just can't hate him. It's too hard. Yeah, he did treat me like crap, but I still think I have feelings for him." She stared at Roxy, eyes filled with concern and sorrow. She put her elbow on Samantha's shoulder. "Here's the thing, dude. You need to get over him because, if you don't, then you're gunna end up getting even more hurt, and I don't want that. And I'm sure you don't either." "You're right," she sighed. "I'll try my hardest." She smiled up at Roxy. "Thanks, man." They continued walking for about five more minutes until they reached their friend. Ricky's house. Ricky was about six feet tall with dark brown hair and almost black eyes. He wasn't necessarily "buff", but he wasn't fat, or horribly scrawny either. "Why do you like him so much?" Roxy asked Samantha as they waited on the front porch, awaiting Ricky's face at the door. "Oh my God, dude. I don't like him like that. He's been one of my best friend since I was, like, ten, and you can't 'overdue' friendships if they're really wholesome. Trust me!" She hugged Roxy and laughed. They didn't notice that Ricky had opened the door and had been waiting for them to wake up from their own little world for a few seconds. He cleared his throat. "HI YOU GUYS!!" he screamed with excitement. "How are you today, my friends?" He hugged Roxy and then Samantha. "I'm awesome" Roxy replied. "I could be better. Thanks for asking. How are you?" Samantha asked. "I've been better. Thanks." Samantha and Ricky always seemed to be on the same wavelength when it came to how they were feeling. Once, Samantha got strep throat and was sick for a week. During that week, she came into contact with no one but her mother about once every two days. That same week, on the very same day that Samantha began feeling under the weather, Ricky got strep as well. Roxy elbowed Samantha and cleared her throat. "Oh, can we come in, or do you wanna come over to my house?" Samantha asked. "Go ahead and come in. I'm working on something. Maybe you guys can help. I mean, if you want," he said innocently as he walked toward his room. "Sure. We'd love to," Roxy answered barely before Samantha could process the information that had been thrown at her. "Great. The trouble is, I only need one assistant. Who's it gunna be, ladies?" he asked smiling at Samantha. "Go ahead. I think I'm gunna sit this one out," Roxy said, evilly grinning at Samantha. "Have fun, now! But keep it safe, kids!" She walked out of the room and into the kitchen. "I'm starving. Can I engulf your kitchen, Ricky?" she called back. "Huh? Oh, yeah, sure. Whatever." He stared at Samantha for a moment and smiled. He turned around and started typing on his computer. "So," he said, back turned to her, "what made your day not so perfect?" She plopped down on his waterbed and bit her lip. "Ahh. I'm sure you don't wanna hear about it," she responded, hoping he'd agree with her, though she knew he wouldn't. "No, no. Tell me. There's no holding back between us, remember? We made a vow not to hold crap back form each other. So tell me. I wanna know, anyways." Samantha groaned. "Alright then. Brad drove by my house on Saturday and said he was sorry. I blew up in his face because I was pissed that he tried to 'do stuff' with Roxy. Well, I ran into him before seventh period. Literally. I dropped my books, so I bent over to pick them up, and-" "Oh my God." He turned around, eyebrows raised in amazement. "Don't tell me he grabbed your ass!!!!" Samantha laughed. "Oh, God, no. I bent over to pick my books up, and when I stood back up, he was walking away from me. It was really weird." "Huh." "But I'm with you. If he were really being himself, he would have grabbed my ass. Obviously there was something wrong with him today. It just makes me curious. nothing more." Ricky looked at her accusingly. "No holding back, Sam." She sighed. "Ahh!! Fine!" She put her hands in her palms and fell over on Ricky's pillow; face buried within it's fluffiness. He frowned, walked over to Samantha, and sat next to her on the bed. He began to slowly run his fingers through her brown hair, auburn highlights shimmering from the sunlight from his window. "What's wrong, babes? What's going on?" She looked up at him and frowned. "I think I still have feelings for Brad." She rolled over so that she was on her back. "I mean, as if I wasn't stressed enough without him in my life, I still have to feel that way about him. I don't know why. He treats me like dirt, so why do I still feel this way?" Ricky lied down next to her and turned his head so he was looking in her eyes. "I don't know, Sam. I'm sorry though. I wish you the best of luck in getting over him, or with him again. I want the best for you. Just don't do anything that you think isn't right. Promise me." She smiled at him as she interlaced her fingers with his. "I promise." Roxy walked in the room with a bag of gram crackers and four marshmallows only to find Ricky and Samantha gazing into each other's eyes and holding hands. She coughed loudly. "Excuse me, but am I interrupting anything?" She raised her eyebrow and smiled. Samantha abruptly sat up and stuck her tongue out at Roxy. "Nothing happened. Don't spaz out, you freak. We were just talking about Brad and all that jolly, jolly crap I so love to deal with." Ricky stood up and went back to his computer. He turned on The Break, Samantha's favorite band. "Do you like these guys?" Ricky asked, barely being heard over the blaring music. "I love them!" he screamed. Samantha started to jump up and down with the tempo of the song. "Me too! They're the best!" she called back. They all began to jump up and down. When the song was over, Ricky turned down the music so that they all could talk to each other. "Forget about what I had to do! I forget now 'cause of all the fun stuff! WEE HOO!!!!" He continued jumping. "Why don't we talk about what brought us to this shitty, old town?" Roxy said enthusiastically. "Or what's made us stay here this long, at least. I'll start." She cleared her throat. "Well, I was born here, and I've had many opportunities to leave, my friends. But I chose not to leave, for the sake of my friendships!" She hugged Samantha and they both laughed. "Also, I'd probably be too depressed anywhere else to even live." "Alright. I'll go now!" Ricky exclaimed. "Okay, I moved here when I was eleven. I moved from San Francisco. I was incredibly reluctant to move here because of all my friends back in California. But my dad had to take the job he was offered here, and I've lived here ever since. And once I moved here, I found Samantha, who was ten at the time, and that was all the more reason for me to stay." He flashed her a truly radiant smile. "I've never wanted to move away since I've been here. Truthfully." There was a pause. Roxy and Ricky looked at Samantha. "Oh, sorry. My turn." She sounded uneasy about going. "Well, I moved here when I was four. My parents had gotten divorced the year before, and my mom wanted to move as far away from my dad as possible. I was only three when they separated, so I wasn't sure what was happening. When we got to our new house here, I asked my mom, 'Where's daddy?' She only looked down at me and said 'You won't be seeing daddy for a while, hunny. Your daddy and I aren't getting along to well right now. So we're moving away from Daddy so that Mommy can have some time to calm down.' I started to cry when she told me that. She only walked away. I didn't know I would never see my dad for the rest of my life until I was nine, when my dad died. I had nowhere else to go, so I was forced to stay with my mother. It didn't bother me as much as the years passed. When I was ten, I met Ricky, and he made my life worth living again. Then I found Roxy and my life was perfect all over again." She gave an uneasy smile. She got up and walked out of the room, arms folded across her chest. Ricky looked at Roxy. "Wow," he managed. "I. I never knew that's what it was like for her. she's only relied on herself and you and me for comfort. Wow." Roxy stared at him, jaw dropped. She got up and ran out of the room. "Samantha!" she called. She was nowhere in the house. She had left. Ricky and Roxy ran outside and over to her house. They ran inside and up to her room. They found her there, gazing at pictures of her father, eyes drowning in tears. They went to sit on the bed. Ricky hugged her as she cried on his shoulder. "I never knew it was so bad for you, Sammy. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry." Ricky held her close and calmed her down. "I've never shared my views on my life with anyone. ever. You guys gave to promise never to tell anyone about this. I'm trusting you." "We promise," Roxy said. "If you need to talk about anything, you know I'm always here for you, right?" Roxy went downstairs because she knew that Samantha and Ricky had to talk. Samantha nodded. She moved closer to Ricky and put her face on her shoulder. He put his arms around her and played with her hair. He rubbed her back and began to hum. "I'm not afraid to watch it go. But it's sobering. I'm left to fend the world off on my own. And I'm left to struggle everyday. 'Cause it's comforting knowing you're alone." Samantha looked up at Ricky. She put her hands on his face and kissed his lips gently. She pulled away and put her arms around his waist and put her head on his shoulder again.
As the snow fell and the wind grew more and more brutal, Samantha sat in the cold with only a light jacket on. A metallic blue Volkswagen drove by and came to a stop right in front of were Samantha sat. The window was slowly rolled down as a familiar face appeared. "Aren't you cold?" the person asked. Samantha swiftly turned away and replied, "I don't want to talk to you. I can't believe you thought you could just come back here, thinking I'd forgive you!" "Look, Samantha, I'm deeply sorry for hurting you, but don't you think you're overreacting?" "Listen, Brad. I thought that we were serious, but I guess I was just kidding myself with that thought. I was the only serious one in the relationship. You tried made out with my best friend. That's a big no-no." She looked back at him unsympathetically. "It's your own fault. Not mine." She turned and began to walk away. "Wait!" Brad called. "Just hear me out. I know that what I did was wrong, but can't you give me just one more chance? I truly love you." She turned back, arms folded across her torso. "Well." She paused. "You should have shown it."
She walked inside her house, anger smeared across her face.
A few days later, it was Monday-time to go to school. Samantha was reluctant, for she knew that she was going to see Brad numerous times in the day. Nevertheless, she had to go-it was the week of the dreaded exams. She woke at 6:30 and rushed to the shower. She stripped down and hopped into the shower. She quickly washed her hair, shaved her legs, etcetera. She got out of the shower and toweled down. She opened the door dividing her room from her bathroom, and she strolled over to her stereo and turned on The Break, her favorite band. She turned up the volume so that she could feel the bass on the walls. She returned to her bathroom to blow dry her hair and put her make-up on. She pulled out her brush and ran it through her thick, brown and auburn hair. She blew it dry as quickly as she could-8 minutes. As soon as she was finished, she put on her black eyeliner and mascara. She looked herself in the mirror and sighed. She walked into her room and put on her favorite shirt-a black shirt labeled with the words "I don't care. Go away." She put on a pair of jeans and schlepped her book bag downstairs. It was 7:04. She walked to the kitchen and got out a pair of waffles and put them in the toaster. She walked to the family room and put on her black Converse. The phone randomly rang, so she ran to answer it. "Hello?" she said "Hey, dude. What's going on with you?" It was Samantha's best friend, Roxy. "I'm really sorry about the whole Brad thing. are you mad at me?" Samantha chuckled. "Of course not. He drove by my house and tried to say sorry. I didn't care. He's too much of an asshole for me. "Alright. Good. Hey, I have to go catch my bus in a few, so I'll see you at school." "Alright." "Bye." "See ya."
At school, Samantha tried her hardest to avoid Brad, and she was doing rather well up until seventh period. She was walking down the hall to her class and she happened to run into Brad, literally. She dropped her books, so she bent over to pick them up. When she stood back up, Brad was walking away. She was flabbergasted, but nevertheless, happy. Roxy smiled at Samantha as she walked into chemistry class. She took a seat next to her and sighed. "What's wrong?" Roxy asked. "It's Brad. I ran into him in the hall and dropped my books. When I stood back up, he was walking away. I was happy, but it just doesn't seem like something Brad would do, ya know?" Roxy shook her head. "Why are you so worried about it? I thought you hated him. What happened to that thought?" Samantha put her face in her hands and shook her head. "I don't know."
After school, Roxy and Samantha started walking home. The conversations they had were nothing new, but somewhat less important-at least to Samantha. She walked along the highly traveled road with her hands in her pockets-Roxy slowly treading next to her. Roxy cleared her throat. "Are you okay, Sammish one? You've seemed kinda. blah sense you ran into Brad. What's going on, dude?" Samantha sighed. "It's nothing. Really. It just kinda freaked me out when he didn't make a big deal of seeing me, you know?" She watched her every step, black Converse bending with every motion of her foot, the rubber on the sides residing from the fabric. "Why are you so concerned? I thought you didn't care about him anymore? But I all ready asked you about this. so never mind. I don't wanna intrude upon your only secrets, kept sacred from the world." She grinned at Samantha. Samantha glanced up at her but immediately stared back at her feet. "I don't really know how to explain my feelings towards Brad right now. I mean, I hate him for wanting to 'do things' with you, but I just can't hate him. It's too hard. Yeah, he did treat me like crap, but I still think I have feelings for him." She stared at Roxy, eyes filled with concern and sorrow. She put her elbow on Samantha's shoulder. "Here's the thing, dude. You need to get over him because, if you don't, then you're gunna end up getting even more hurt, and I don't want that. And I'm sure you don't either." "You're right," she sighed. "I'll try my hardest." She smiled up at Roxy. "Thanks, man." They continued walking for about five more minutes until they reached their friend. Ricky's house. Ricky was about six feet tall with dark brown hair and almost black eyes. He wasn't necessarily "buff", but he wasn't fat, or horribly scrawny either. "Why do you like him so much?" Roxy asked Samantha as they waited on the front porch, awaiting Ricky's face at the door. "Oh my God, dude. I don't like him like that. He's been one of my best friend since I was, like, ten, and you can't 'overdue' friendships if they're really wholesome. Trust me!" She hugged Roxy and laughed. They didn't notice that Ricky had opened the door and had been waiting for them to wake up from their own little world for a few seconds. He cleared his throat. "HI YOU GUYS!!" he screamed with excitement. "How are you today, my friends?" He hugged Roxy and then Samantha. "I'm awesome" Roxy replied. "I could be better. Thanks for asking. How are you?" Samantha asked. "I've been better. Thanks." Samantha and Ricky always seemed to be on the same wavelength when it came to how they were feeling. Once, Samantha got strep throat and was sick for a week. During that week, she came into contact with no one but her mother about once every two days. That same week, on the very same day that Samantha began feeling under the weather, Ricky got strep as well. Roxy elbowed Samantha and cleared her throat. "Oh, can we come in, or do you wanna come over to my house?" Samantha asked. "Go ahead and come in. I'm working on something. Maybe you guys can help. I mean, if you want," he said innocently as he walked toward his room. "Sure. We'd love to," Roxy answered barely before Samantha could process the information that had been thrown at her. "Great. The trouble is, I only need one assistant. Who's it gunna be, ladies?" he asked smiling at Samantha. "Go ahead. I think I'm gunna sit this one out," Roxy said, evilly grinning at Samantha. "Have fun, now! But keep it safe, kids!" She walked out of the room and into the kitchen. "I'm starving. Can I engulf your kitchen, Ricky?" she called back. "Huh? Oh, yeah, sure. Whatever." He stared at Samantha for a moment and smiled. He turned around and started typing on his computer. "So," he said, back turned to her, "what made your day not so perfect?" She plopped down on his waterbed and bit her lip. "Ahh. I'm sure you don't wanna hear about it," she responded, hoping he'd agree with her, though she knew he wouldn't. "No, no. Tell me. There's no holding back between us, remember? We made a vow not to hold crap back form each other. So tell me. I wanna know, anyways." Samantha groaned. "Alright then. Brad drove by my house on Saturday and said he was sorry. I blew up in his face because I was pissed that he tried to 'do stuff' with Roxy. Well, I ran into him before seventh period. Literally. I dropped my books, so I bent over to pick them up, and-" "Oh my God." He turned around, eyebrows raised in amazement. "Don't tell me he grabbed your ass!!!!" Samantha laughed. "Oh, God, no. I bent over to pick my books up, and when I stood back up, he was walking away from me. It was really weird." "Huh." "But I'm with you. If he were really being himself, he would have grabbed my ass. Obviously there was something wrong with him today. It just makes me curious. nothing more." Ricky looked at her accusingly. "No holding back, Sam." She sighed. "Ahh!! Fine!" She put her hands in her palms and fell over on Ricky's pillow; face buried within it's fluffiness. He frowned, walked over to Samantha, and sat next to her on the bed. He began to slowly run his fingers through her brown hair, auburn highlights shimmering from the sunlight from his window. "What's wrong, babes? What's going on?" She looked up at him and frowned. "I think I still have feelings for Brad." She rolled over so that she was on her back. "I mean, as if I wasn't stressed enough without him in my life, I still have to feel that way about him. I don't know why. He treats me like dirt, so why do I still feel this way?" Ricky lied down next to her and turned his head so he was looking in her eyes. "I don't know, Sam. I'm sorry though. I wish you the best of luck in getting over him, or with him again. I want the best for you. Just don't do anything that you think isn't right. Promise me." She smiled at him as she interlaced her fingers with his. "I promise." Roxy walked in the room with a bag of gram crackers and four marshmallows only to find Ricky and Samantha gazing into each other's eyes and holding hands. She coughed loudly. "Excuse me, but am I interrupting anything?" She raised her eyebrow and smiled. Samantha abruptly sat up and stuck her tongue out at Roxy. "Nothing happened. Don't spaz out, you freak. We were just talking about Brad and all that jolly, jolly crap I so love to deal with." Ricky stood up and went back to his computer. He turned on The Break, Samantha's favorite band. "Do you like these guys?" Ricky asked, barely being heard over the blaring music. "I love them!" he screamed. Samantha started to jump up and down with the tempo of the song. "Me too! They're the best!" she called back. They all began to jump up and down. When the song was over, Ricky turned down the music so that they all could talk to each other. "Forget about what I had to do! I forget now 'cause of all the fun stuff! WEE HOO!!!!" He continued jumping. "Why don't we talk about what brought us to this shitty, old town?" Roxy said enthusiastically. "Or what's made us stay here this long, at least. I'll start." She cleared her throat. "Well, I was born here, and I've had many opportunities to leave, my friends. But I chose not to leave, for the sake of my friendships!" She hugged Samantha and they both laughed. "Also, I'd probably be too depressed anywhere else to even live." "Alright. I'll go now!" Ricky exclaimed. "Okay, I moved here when I was eleven. I moved from San Francisco. I was incredibly reluctant to move here because of all my friends back in California. But my dad had to take the job he was offered here, and I've lived here ever since. And once I moved here, I found Samantha, who was ten at the time, and that was all the more reason for me to stay." He flashed her a truly radiant smile. "I've never wanted to move away since I've been here. Truthfully." There was a pause. Roxy and Ricky looked at Samantha. "Oh, sorry. My turn." She sounded uneasy about going. "Well, I moved here when I was four. My parents had gotten divorced the year before, and my mom wanted to move as far away from my dad as possible. I was only three when they separated, so I wasn't sure what was happening. When we got to our new house here, I asked my mom, 'Where's daddy?' She only looked down at me and said 'You won't be seeing daddy for a while, hunny. Your daddy and I aren't getting along to well right now. So we're moving away from Daddy so that Mommy can have some time to calm down.' I started to cry when she told me that. She only walked away. I didn't know I would never see my dad for the rest of my life until I was nine, when my dad died. I had nowhere else to go, so I was forced to stay with my mother. It didn't bother me as much as the years passed. When I was ten, I met Ricky, and he made my life worth living again. Then I found Roxy and my life was perfect all over again." She gave an uneasy smile. She got up and walked out of the room, arms folded across her chest. Ricky looked at Roxy. "Wow," he managed. "I. I never knew that's what it was like for her. she's only relied on herself and you and me for comfort. Wow." Roxy stared at him, jaw dropped. She got up and ran out of the room. "Samantha!" she called. She was nowhere in the house. She had left. Ricky and Roxy ran outside and over to her house. They ran inside and up to her room. They found her there, gazing at pictures of her father, eyes drowning in tears. They went to sit on the bed. Ricky hugged her as she cried on his shoulder. "I never knew it was so bad for you, Sammy. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry." Ricky held her close and calmed her down. "I've never shared my views on my life with anyone. ever. You guys gave to promise never to tell anyone about this. I'm trusting you." "We promise," Roxy said. "If you need to talk about anything, you know I'm always here for you, right?" Roxy went downstairs because she knew that Samantha and Ricky had to talk. Samantha nodded. She moved closer to Ricky and put her face on her shoulder. He put his arms around her and played with her hair. He rubbed her back and began to hum. "I'm not afraid to watch it go. But it's sobering. I'm left to fend the world off on my own. And I'm left to struggle everyday. 'Cause it's comforting knowing you're alone." Samantha looked up at Ricky. She put her hands on his face and kissed his lips gently. She pulled away and put her arms around his waist and put her head on his shoulder again.