Disclaimers: The opening quote is from the book, The Hours by Michael
Cunningham. I don't own any of the characters, obviously. I have no idea
if there is a park in Smallville. And, yeah.blah blah disclaimers.
There's just this for consolation: an hour here or there when our lives seem, against all odds and expectations, to burst open and give us everything we've ever imagined, though everyone but children (and perhaps even they) knows these hours will inevitably be followed by others, far darker and more difficult. Still, we cherish the city, the morning; we hope, more than anything, for more."
With that, Lana carefully closed the book and set it down on her lap. There was only a page left of the book, but the weight of those last sentences came down on her so unexpectedly and suddenly that she wasn't able to continue. She felt a sort of panic come over her. Lana always loved reading. She thought most people at Smallville High School would be surprised at how much and how often she read. Books were an escape for Lana. A chance for her to be an outside observer into someone else's life- someone else's tragedies and disappointments. She could be invisible. But she didn't feel invisible now. The words she had just read hit too close to home. She felt exposed. Because, despite her brightest smiles, her successes and accomplishments, if she was to take an honest look at her life, she feared that the darkness would envelop all bright spots. She spent the greater part of her life doing everything she could think of to convince everyone that she was OK. So it didn't matter how she was feeling; she would smile, she would excel, she would look happy, she would be fine. Sadness, anxiety, abandonment, anger, she could handle. What she couldn't stand, what was unbearable to her, was people feeling sorry for her. For a moment, Lana felt as if she was being buried. These thoughts were coming down on her like a physical weight. But then, Lana heard it. Someone knocking at the door. The feeling had passed. She was OK. She was Lana. She was at the Talon. And there was someone knocking at the door. She needed to stand up and go to the door.
"Clark," she said as she opened the door, "come in." "Hey, Lana," he said as he entered. Then noticing the look on her face-a kind of dazed look, almost as if she was about to cry-he asked, "Are you OK?" "I'm fine," she said. I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine. How many times had she said those words in her life? It was her automatic response. Clark could see that everything wasn't 'fine', but he didn't want to press her. Instead he said, "I was just on my way home. I saw the light on.do you need any help?" Lana looked up at Clark's face. What she saw there was genuine concern. He thought that she was working late and wanted to help. Because he cared about her. And she never saw pity in his eyes when he looked at her. "Thanks for the offer, but actually, I was just reading. I guess I lost track of time.what time is it, anyway?" Clark looked at his watch and replied, "Uh.11:30." "Already? I should lock up." Lana gathered her things and shut off the lights.
An hour later, Clark and Lana found themselves in the park. After leaving the Talon, they decided to go for a walk. Neither of them would have guessed that an hour had gone by, but Clark happened to catch sight of his watch. "Wow.It's already past 12:30. Chloe and Gabe are probably worried about you." "Actually," Lana replied, "they're in Metropolis for the weekend, but you should probably be getting home. Your parents are probably wondering where you are." "It's OK, I told them I might be late." Neither moved to get up from the park bench they were sitting on. Lana looked over at Clark, who was looking up at the stars, when suddenly a feeling came over her. It felt like, she couldn't describe it, almost like peace. Like life was really capable of bursting open, and she was on the brink of happiness itself. Here were the stars. The park. And here was Clark. Just then, Clark looked over at Lana and smiled. "Thank you Clark." He wrinkled his forehead. "For what?" "For the hour," she said, and smiled a genuine smile. Clark smiled again, and for a few minutes they sat in a comfortable silence, looking up at the stars. Clark noticed that Lana was shivering, and reluctantly suggested that they call it a night. He walked her to her car and they said goodnight. Clark turned to leave, but paused, and turned back to face Lana. "Are you busy tomorrow?" he asked. "No, actually, I have the whole day off." "I was wondering if, I don't know, you wanted to hang out.or do something.unless you wanted a day to yourself." "No, I mean-I'd like that very much, Clark." "Great. We could catch a movie, or.whatever." "Honestly, something quiet sounds great. How about if I come out to your place?" "Yeah, that would be great. I'll even make us lunch." Lana smiled and said, "OK then, I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight, Clark." "Goodnight, Lana."
There's just this for consolation: an hour here or there when our lives seem, against all odds and expectations, to burst open and give us everything we've ever imagined, though everyone but children (and perhaps even they) knows these hours will inevitably be followed by others, far darker and more difficult. Still, we cherish the city, the morning; we hope, more than anything, for more."
With that, Lana carefully closed the book and set it down on her lap. There was only a page left of the book, but the weight of those last sentences came down on her so unexpectedly and suddenly that she wasn't able to continue. She felt a sort of panic come over her. Lana always loved reading. She thought most people at Smallville High School would be surprised at how much and how often she read. Books were an escape for Lana. A chance for her to be an outside observer into someone else's life- someone else's tragedies and disappointments. She could be invisible. But she didn't feel invisible now. The words she had just read hit too close to home. She felt exposed. Because, despite her brightest smiles, her successes and accomplishments, if she was to take an honest look at her life, she feared that the darkness would envelop all bright spots. She spent the greater part of her life doing everything she could think of to convince everyone that she was OK. So it didn't matter how she was feeling; she would smile, she would excel, she would look happy, she would be fine. Sadness, anxiety, abandonment, anger, she could handle. What she couldn't stand, what was unbearable to her, was people feeling sorry for her. For a moment, Lana felt as if she was being buried. These thoughts were coming down on her like a physical weight. But then, Lana heard it. Someone knocking at the door. The feeling had passed. She was OK. She was Lana. She was at the Talon. And there was someone knocking at the door. She needed to stand up and go to the door.
"Clark," she said as she opened the door, "come in." "Hey, Lana," he said as he entered. Then noticing the look on her face-a kind of dazed look, almost as if she was about to cry-he asked, "Are you OK?" "I'm fine," she said. I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine. How many times had she said those words in her life? It was her automatic response. Clark could see that everything wasn't 'fine', but he didn't want to press her. Instead he said, "I was just on my way home. I saw the light on.do you need any help?" Lana looked up at Clark's face. What she saw there was genuine concern. He thought that she was working late and wanted to help. Because he cared about her. And she never saw pity in his eyes when he looked at her. "Thanks for the offer, but actually, I was just reading. I guess I lost track of time.what time is it, anyway?" Clark looked at his watch and replied, "Uh.11:30." "Already? I should lock up." Lana gathered her things and shut off the lights.
An hour later, Clark and Lana found themselves in the park. After leaving the Talon, they decided to go for a walk. Neither of them would have guessed that an hour had gone by, but Clark happened to catch sight of his watch. "Wow.It's already past 12:30. Chloe and Gabe are probably worried about you." "Actually," Lana replied, "they're in Metropolis for the weekend, but you should probably be getting home. Your parents are probably wondering where you are." "It's OK, I told them I might be late." Neither moved to get up from the park bench they were sitting on. Lana looked over at Clark, who was looking up at the stars, when suddenly a feeling came over her. It felt like, she couldn't describe it, almost like peace. Like life was really capable of bursting open, and she was on the brink of happiness itself. Here were the stars. The park. And here was Clark. Just then, Clark looked over at Lana and smiled. "Thank you Clark." He wrinkled his forehead. "For what?" "For the hour," she said, and smiled a genuine smile. Clark smiled again, and for a few minutes they sat in a comfortable silence, looking up at the stars. Clark noticed that Lana was shivering, and reluctantly suggested that they call it a night. He walked her to her car and they said goodnight. Clark turned to leave, but paused, and turned back to face Lana. "Are you busy tomorrow?" he asked. "No, actually, I have the whole day off." "I was wondering if, I don't know, you wanted to hang out.or do something.unless you wanted a day to yourself." "No, I mean-I'd like that very much, Clark." "Great. We could catch a movie, or.whatever." "Honestly, something quiet sounds great. How about if I come out to your place?" "Yeah, that would be great. I'll even make us lunch." Lana smiled and said, "OK then, I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight, Clark." "Goodnight, Lana."