Part II
I don't miss my father.
Nor can I say I really love him. The best I can manage is to honor his memory, and respect the ideals that my family (if you wish to call it that) has passed down to me. Mother speaks of him rarely... I know, in truth, she didn't know him all that well, though it was no fault of her own, and none of his. Uncle Vash, really, has told me more about my father than anyone else. Even so, though I do respect his life, I never knew what it was to have a father, to love him, as a son should. So I don't miss the feeling.
My biggest male influence, then, was my uncle. Of course, I have been left rather in the dark for much of my life; he was never able to be here all the time, as a father would be, having to take care of his brother. Knives. Not my uncle, as Vash is (in name and in heart, if not blood.) Vash's responsibility, his mad brother. A dangerous man, as his name implies.
I know, at the same time, too much and too little about him. I know what he has been responsible for, and I know what he is capable of. Now, only Vash keeps him in check. Mother once explained that he was trying to save his brother. Most call it an impossible dream; to the few that are unwise enough to say so to his face, Vash just gives a little smile and shrug. God knows he's ever cheerful, though I don't understand it. I've never seen him truly upset about anything, or angry, though once when I asked Mother about it she shook her head and told me I should be happy about that. But the fact is, he always acts a bit foolishly, as though he weren't necessarily the brightest bullet in the gun. I know he's the most intelligent person I've met, but... he doesn't act it. I suppose if he did, he wouldn't be nearly as pleasant. Who knows why he possesses this simple cheer? It could be his way of whistling in the dark, or his way of hiding things... but it seems so authentic. Unlike Knives, who has (the few times I've met him) seemed rather pessimistic and dark. The two brothers are a contrast, a balance- I think my uncle wants to tip that balance in the direction of love and peace. May he succeed. Anyone who can be cheerful as he is, when he's got so much reason to hurt, certainly has a chance.