"Its weird," Magic confided in me quietly. "I'll laugh at something and then realize that I shouldn't think its funny, because he's dead."
"But he always laughed." I say holding her close to me.
"But he's gone."
"He would want to you laugh."
"But he was my reason for laughing." Magic said looking and me pitifully. "Before him I never laughed."
"But you can remember him, so laugh." I whisper petting her hair as I would a cat.
"It feels so wrong, like because he's dead the world should stop but I get up every morning and look in the mirror and go to school." She says looking up at me, her eyes holding back tears. "I feel like I'm forgetting him every day."
"You'll never forget him." I whisper again.
"But I'll think for a second, What did he smell like? And I won't remember until I look at a picture again and then the memories come back so much that I can't breath." Her breath became unsteady like she was working hard to keep the tears in.
"That's normal Magic."
"But you've never lost your lover!" She moaned hugging me.
"Its normal to forget things."
"But I don't want to forget a thing." She whimpers. "He was perfect and we were going to live together when we graduated and everything was going to be perfect."
"You can still be happy."
"But he was my happiness. He was the reason that I was happy, he was the reason I didn't need to sleep around." Magic whispered.
"You can be happy with some one else." I whisper and Hug her tight. "I thought the world was over when Ben left me but look at me now!"
"You and Specs are gunna stay together for ever. You'd feel the same way if he was gone." She said.
"What?"
"If Specs Died you wouldn't know what to do." She sniffed looking up at me. "Now he's dead and I'll never kiss him again, never run my fingers though his silky hair, never hear him tell me that he loves me, never have him talk to me in Spanish. Never ever again!" She grabbed me and snuggled into my shirt. "what about all the time we didn't have why couldn't I have met him first? Why couldn't God make it work better?"
"Shhhh Shhhh. It'll be okay."
"But it isn't when I see couple I think, we used to be like that, that was me and him."
"You'll be fine"
"Dutchy," She looked up at me pathetically.
"Yeah?" I asked.
"I think I've gotta throw up."
Quickly I helped her to the bathroom, well supportive is one thing, but there are new jeans!
Author's notes: Partly me dealing with my cousin's death partly really good music.
Disclaimer: Disney owns them all but I own Magic… At least I think I do
Cards on:
Dental Floss: YUMMY!