Dexter's Laboratory is copyright (C)1996 by
Hanna-Barbera Productions and Cartoon Network.
Sailor Moon is the property of Takeuchi Naoko and some other folks
such as D.I.C. and Cloverway.
jlfenton65@yahoo.com
I don't own Dexter's Laboratory, I didn't make the characters, and I'm not trying to make money on this, so please don't sue me. Ditto for Sailor Moon.
Many thanks to my pre-readers, Ben Oliver and Bill Heinemann.
It's time for the final showdown between Good and Evil! Who will survive? Who will show up in another stupid costume? Who will explain the mess to Mom and Dad? All this and more in the dramatic conclusion!
In a dark corner of Dexter's Laboratory, a figure worked on a large shadowy hulk as he muttered to himself.
"It is up to me to protect my precious laboratory. Those stupid girls will just screw things up as usual. But just wait until they behold my greatest invention to date!" He paused to congratulate himself. "With this, I shall be invincible! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" He held his hands up like claws as he cackled madly.
In a dark corner of Mandark's Laboratory, a figure aimed a large weapon at various items. The view through the scope paused on a ballet slipper, then moved on to a Darby doll, and finally focused on a Pony Puff Party Phonograph. The figure mumbled softly, "Mental note - change code sequences for laboratory access." The gun moved on before stopping on something more suited to the task ahead.
"I never even got the chance to display the power of my new and improved Matter Transmogrifier Gun, all because of that insidious imbecile Dexter. But my superior intelligence shall yet prevail! I shall create my army of dread monsters here then transport them directly to Dexter's Lab! Once I have disposed of my mortal foe, no one will be able to oppose me. I shall rule supreme!" He held his hands up like claws as maniacal laughter rang through the lab. "HA, HA HA! HA, HA HA, HA HA!"
In a bedroom illuminated by a soft pink glow, three girls slept on the floor. Mee Mee occupied a Pony Puff sleeping bag situated directly under the unicorn poster. Dee Dee occupied the Darby sleeping bag that lay next to the Darby Townhouse. Lee Lee had the Berry Bears sleeping bag by the pile of baby stuffed animals. All three dreamed of fighting for Love and Justice against the forces of evil. Every once and awhile, one of the girls would giggle softly.
In another bedroom, a short black-haired girl slept uneasily. Why did those three girls get to have all the fun? Tomorrow, she'd make her stupid coward of a brother create a transformation pendant for her so she could join the fun. Naturally, hers would be the best. She smiled as her thoughts drifted to the more pleasant fantasy of pounding her worm of a brother.
In an imaginary kingdom somewhere, the king confronted one of his more troublesome subjects. "Koosalagoopagoop, what have you got to say for yourself this time?"
Koosalagoopagoop, commonly called Koosie, stared guiltily at the ornate wall behind the king. The picture behind the ruler had a small smudge in one corner. "It's really hardly noticeable. I'm sure the royal artist will have no trouble fixing it."
The king nodded. "Yes, I'm sure he won't. I'm referring to the rest of the castle." He waved his hand around, emphasizing the fact that the wall with the portrait was the only one that remained standing. All the rest lay broken, shattered as support columns had given way. Plaster dust from the collapsed ceiling still hovered over much of the site, waiting for the rising wind to abate the choking clouds. "Well?"
Koosie scratched the back of his head and laughed nervously. "Heh heh heh - oops?"
The king's retainers groaned and covered their faces. Well, the ones that could actually move given their bandages, slings, casts, and crutches. The others just groaned, and not just because of the pain they were in.
The king cleared his throat to get everyone's attention. "Koosalagoopagoop, you are hereby banished until such time as you can restore your honor through acts of valor."
Koosie scratched his head. "Huh?"
The king slapped his hand over his face, then stabbed a finger outward. "Get lost! And don't come back until you have defeated some evil monster!"
Dexter stood in the middle of his lab, tapping his foot and glaring at nothing in particular. "What is taking them so long? By my calculations, they should have been here eight point three five minutes ago."
Dee Dee popped up behind Dexter. "Hi!"
Mee Mee popped up beside her. "Hi!"
Lee Lee popped up opposite Mee Mee. "Hi!"
Dexter winced and turned reluctantly. "How did you gain entrance to the laboratory without my noticing?"
Dee Dee looked baffled, a familiar expression to Dexter. "What are you talking about? We've been here since breakfast."
Dexter boggled. "That is not possible!" He gestured at a row of cryonic-lacteal synthesizers. "Just observe - not a single unit has been disturbed in any manner!"
Dee Dee snapped her fingers. "I knew we forgot something!" She held aloft her transformation rod. "All right Scouts, we have prepare for the arrival of the Man-Dark General!"
The other girls squealed in delight, then held up their own transformation rods.
Dexter pulled out a pair of ear attenuators and placed them on his head. There was no way he would be subjected to the transformation background music again. He waited until the light died before cautiously lifting one side.
Dee Dee pulled the attenuators from his head. "All right Dexter. You need to keep out of our way while we fight the evil forces of the Negaverse. But first, we need to practice!" She turned to the row of synthesizers and pointed her scepter. "MOON SCEPTER ELIMINATION!" The blast took out half of the units. "Okay Sailor Mercury! Your turn!"
Lee Lee gave an ear-to-ear smile. "I have a new attack! Watch this!" She spun around and swung her arms in an arc from waist to head. "MERCURY GEYSER ERUPTION!" Several columns of water blasted forth from beneath some of the remaining synthesizers, tearing through the metal like paper.
Dee Dee hopped up and down. "Wow! That was great Sailor Mercury!"
Mee Mee looked at Dexter curiously. "Say, Dexter. Not that I care or nothing, but shouldn't you be running around screaming about us destroying your lab about now?"
Dexter smirked and pushed his glasses up on his nose. "Once again, you underestimate the brilliance that is Dexter, Boy Genius. That is a fabricated facsimile whose sole purpose is to provide a distraction to prevent the destruction of my more sensitive instrumentation."
Mee Mee pointed over his shoulder. "Then I guess you didn't want us messing around over there."
Dexter glanced over his shoulder. Yet more geysers were erupting from random locations around the lab, destroying anything at the point of eruption. He whimpered as vital scanners and data acquisition units were reduced to so much scrap metal. "My precious inventions..."
Dee Dee picked up Dexter and set him to the side. "Come on Sailor Mars! Let's see your new attack!"
Mee Mee smiled wickedly. "Girl, you ain't see nothing yet!" She raised both hands high, then twirled and knelt, slamming her fists to the floor. "MARS LIGHTNING TEMPEST!"
Everyone slapped their hands over their ears as the air was rent by the shear number of lightning bolts discharging around them. Anything left standing by Dee Dee's and Lee Lee's attack turned to slag almost instantly. The girls stood staring in awe at the aftermath, then joined hands and danced around.
"YAAAAAY!!"
"That was so cool!!"
Lee Lee suddenly stopped, a perplexed look on her face. "Hey! Wasn't it Sailor Jupiter that used electric attacks?"
The other two girls stopped in shock.
"You're right!" Dee Dee bit her tongue as she concentrated. "What are we going to do?"
Lee Lee tilted her head to the side. "Couldn't we just call her Sailor Jupiter?"
Mee Mee shook her head. "No way! I want a new name." A look of inspiration came over her and she struck a pose. "From now on, call me Sailor-P!"
Her friends looked puzzled. "Huh?"
Mee Mee looked nonplussed. "Sailor-P? 'P' as in Pony Puff Princess?"
Lee Lee looked upset. "I wanna be Sailor Pony Puff!"
Dee Dee jumped up and down. "No! Me! I'm gonna be Sailor-P!"
Mee Mee and Lee Lee rounded on her. "You're already Sailor-D!"
Dexter ignored the squabbling girls. "Just you wait. I, Dexter, Boy Genius, will not be outdone by a bunch of girls!"
The girls stopped their argument as a brilliant glare forced everyone to cover their eyes. When they could see again, Mandark stood in their midst, surrounded by a group of - things.
Mandark waited until he had their attention. "So, you pitiful fools thought you had seen the last of Mandark! This time, I came prepared! Behold! My evil creations will boggle your weak little intellects and shrivel your souls!"
He gestured to the first creature. "Behold! Terrortron!" The creature raised its arms and roared. It might have originally been a lawn mower. Now, it was a monster of fierce proportions with rotating blades at the end of its arms. The blades started to spin, picking up speed until their were just a blur. It crouched in an aggressive stance, ready to pounce.
Mandark gestured to the next. "Destructor!" The creature reared back, its bellow deafening everyone. This one appeared to be a mutated blender. As it bellowed, the grinding blades became visible in it's throat. It crossed its pincher shaped claws as it readied its own charge.
Mandark waved at the last. "And finally, er - uh - Twinkle."
Everyone stared at the last creature. From the cheerful blinking light in its nose to the hearts on its body, it was not a monster to inspire fear.
Dexter finally found his voice. "Uh, Mandark. That last creature - it would not happen to have been a night-light, would it?"
Mandark fumed. "Oh shut up! Mom wouldn't let me transform anything better after she saw what happened to her blender." He turned to the monsters. "What are you waiting for?!" He spun, his cape billowing behind him as he turned and flung out an arm. "GO! And destroy Dexter's Lab!"
The monsters all roared and took a step forward. They stopped and looked around. There wasn't anything even remotely close that wasn't already blasted into small pieces. Twinkle tapped Mandark on the shoulder.
Mandark looked up at it in irritation. "What?!"
It hooked a thumb over its shoulder.
Mandark took a look around, finally noticing the destruction. "Ah! Good work!" He turned on Dexter. "So, Dexter. Now you see the folly of going up against the Genius that is MANDARK! HA, HA HA! HA, HA HA, HA HA!"
Dexter pressed the button on his belt buckle. "Ha! It just so happens I am prepared for you this time, Mandark!" He jumped backwards as the Dexbot appeared behind him, landing on the outstretched hand. "Behold! My greatest invention to date! Mecha Tuxedo Glasses!" The Dexbot and been outfitted with a cane, cape, and top hat, and painted to resemble a black tuxedo. The optical sensor arrays had been enlarged to resemble the mask Tuxedo Glasses normally wore. They glowed briefly as Dexter entered and activated the systems.
Mandark looked less than impressed. He yawned, covering his mouth with a hand. "Ho, hum. And I suppose it throws roses, too."
Dexter's amplified, digitally-filtered voice emanated from a speaker in the robot's head. "In a way - it fires R.O.S.E.S.!" The end of the cane lifted from the floor and pointed towards Twinkle. A massive flash blinded everyone and Twinkle disappeared in a sphere of actinic fire. Dexter waited for the sonic shockwave to dissipate enough for him to be heard once more. "Really Overpowered Strategic Energy Spheres!"
Mandark clapped his hands to the sides of his face. "TWINKLE!!" He shook his fist at Mecha Tuxedo Glasses. "You'll pay for that, Dexter!" He glared at the other two monsters. "Get him!"
The girls watched wide-eyed at the destruction unleashed as Mecha Tuxedo Glasses fought Terrortron and Destructor.
"Oooooooooooooo!"
"Awwwwwwwwe!
Dee Dee shook her head. "We have to put a stop to the Man-Dark General and his evil minions!"
A voice behind them caused them to turn.
"Not so fast, Sailor-D!" Lala Baba stood with her hands on her hips. The diminutive girl wore a - er - relatively long gown of blue, a back tiara, and held a long staff surmounted by a large black gem.
The girls gasped. "It's the Evil Queen Baba!"
Dee Dee shook her fist at the tiny girl. "We will put an end to your reign of evil!"
Lee Lee shook her fist. "Yeah! And your bad fashion sense!"
Dee Dee and Mee Mee stared at their friend a moment.
Dee Dee resumed her interrupted speech. "We are the Sailor Scouts! Guardians and Love and Justice!"
Lala Baba sneered. "Your power is no match for me!" She raised the staff high. A vortex of energy formed overhead, and a wide beam of energy shot from the center. The girls were tossed across the lab by the explosion. Mecha Tuxedo Glasses took a glancing hit and lost an arm as it was blasted off its feet. Destructor disappeared in the beam, consumed completely.
Mandark glared at his sister. "Hey! That was Mom's blender! I'm responsible for that!"
The beam continued to the side of the lab, then blasted through the wall to vaporize much of the living room. It tore through the outside wall and moved out into the street where a few cars parked along the curb melted into slag. It doubled back through the yard before fading to nothing outside the kitchen.
Dexter and Dee Dee's mom frowned at the distraction. She poked her head out of the kitchen to yell upstairs, "You kids play nice or you'll have to go home!"
Dee Dee stood on wobbly feet. She took a moment to poke her head through the wall to look into the living room. "Okay Mom!" She turned her attention back to the fight. "It our turn now!" She spun her scepter. "MOON SCEPTER ELIMINATION!"
Lala Baba countered the blast with a blast of her own. The beams met and deflected upwards. The combined beams blasted through the ceiling, then continued out into space before finally splitting the moon in two.
A recently recovered Dexter stared in horror, then glared in anger at the girls. "Hey, Hey! Do you have any idea how much work it was to get the moon back into its proper place?!" He muttered to himself as he tried to forget what a bad day for science that had been. "Stupid girls... stupid astrology..." Now he'd be up all night replacing the moon - again.
Lee Lee stepped forward. "I'll deal with Queen Baba!" She twirled daintily, her arms swung in an arc from waist to head. "MERCURY GEYSER ERUPTION!"
Not a single column of water erupted anywhere close to their enemy. Several did erupt underneath Dexter's stricken mecha, knocking the boy senseless once more.
Mee Mee struck a pose. "It's up to me now!" She raised both hands high, then twirled and knelt, slamming her fists to the floor. "PONY PUFF LIGHTNING TEMPEST!"
Bolts of lightning discharged all around the short figure, but again failed to connect. The electricity raced through the water left by Lee Lee's attack to completely short out Mecha Tuxedo Glasses. It lay smoldering, little arcs of electricity from the numerous short circuits racing across its surface.
It was evident that they couldn't take Lala Baba on their own. "We need more help!" Dee Dee closed her hands around her scepter. "Come forth Sailor Mini-Moon!"
A large form gradually solidified next to her. "Heh-huh-he. Hey Dee Dee! It's me, Koosie!"
"KOOSIE!" Dee Dee flung herself into his arms for a hug.
Koosie noticed the frilly blue mini-skirt stretched around his large form. "Uh, Dee Dee? What's this?"
Dee Dee looked upset. "We were playing Sailor Moon, and then that stupid Mandark appeared with his stupid monsters, and then his stupid sister appeared and wouldn't play fair and lose like in the show, and so I called you to help us fight the evil forces of the Negaverse!!"
Koosie looked puzzled as he tried to follow the conversation. As he finally worked through it, he became nervous. "Fight? Well, I, uh, that is..."
Mee Mee and Lee Lee moved to either side of him, pinning him in place.
"You have to help us!"
"Yeah, Sailor Mini-Moon! Just use your power and attack!"
Koosie gave Dee Dee a confused look. "I have powers?"
Dee Dee nodded enthusiastically. "Just aim at the bad-guys and say what comes to mind!"
Koosie didn't share that enthusiasm. "If you say so." He turned toward Lala Baba and the remaining monster. "SUGARY PINK HEART KOOSIE MINI-MOON-BEAM!" The large heart on his chest started to glow and a pink heart-shaped beam shot forth. It was surprisingly strong. It was also aimed the wrong way. Mecha Tuxedo Glasses was hit dead-on by the beam and blasted against the far wall. From the looks of it, Mecha Tuxedo Glasses was out of the fight for good.
Koosie put his hand behind his head. "Oops! Sorry about that!"
Lala Baba laughed in evil mirth. "You will fall before me, Sailor Scouts! Your power is nothing compared to mine!"
Dee Dee looked distraught. "She's right. We can't fight her."
Koosie took Dee Dee by the shoulders. "No! You mustn't give up, Dee Dee! Good will always win over evil! You just have to believe in yourself!" He pulled her into a big hug as the heart on his chest glowed.
Dee Dee sniffled, then smiled. "You're right! Come on, Scouts! We have to combine our powers!"
The girls gathered around Dee Dee and Koosie as they all grabbed a hold of Dee Dee's scepter.
Dee Dee nodded once. "Now, use your imagination. We must use the power of our belief to beat the evil Queen of the Negaverse!"
A glow formed around the the Sailor Scouts. Lala Baba noticed and called again on the vortex of evil energy. The beam engulfed the group, but dissipated as the rising glow overpowered it.
Dee Dee, Mee Mee, Lee Lee, and Koosie all yelled as one. "PLANET PRETEND POWER!!"
The beam emanating from the scepter swept up Lala Baba, Mandark, and Terrortron. They were flung bodily through the wall of the lab and out towards the horizon... along with much of the debris from the laboratory, the neighbor's cars, Huber Elementary School, the local bridge, and three skyscrapers. As it all disappeared into the distance, the girls flung up their hands.
"We did it!!"
"We won!!"
"We defeated the dark forces of the Negaverse!"
Dee Dee hugged Koosie. "And we owe it all to Koosie! You're a hero!"
Koosie looked shocked. "I am?" He started to grin. "Of course I am! Now I can go back!" He hugged Dee Dee back. "Oh, thank you Dee Dee! Because of you, I can return home." He started to fade. "Remember, never doubt the power of your imagination."
The girls waved as Koosie faded from sight. "Good-bye Koosie!"
Dexter dragged himself from the remains of his Dexbot. "What - what occurred in this vicinity while I was incapacitated?"
Dee Dee gave him a slap on the back, sending him sprawling. "It's okay now, Dexter. We've defeated the forces of the Negaverse. Your lab is safe!"
The girls turned as one and left the laboratory, flitting on their tiptoes - through the massive hole in the wall.
Dexter turned slowly. As far as the eye could see, not a single piece of the lab had survived the combined battles that had taken place. His cheek twitched a couple times before he finally broke out crying.
"WAAAAAHEHEHEHEHEHEHE."
Thus ends another tale of Dexter's Laboratory. I really appreciate all the nice comments. It appears that most people think I've done a pretty good job capturing the spirit of Dexter's Lab. It is my whole goal - to make a story that you can actually imagine as an episode on TV. Dexter and friends will return...
Author's notes: I made a funny slip on the first draft of this chapter that Ben picked up. He wrote the following in reply; it was so cute, I had to include it here. Enjoy!
Ranma fumed. "Just you wait. I, Dexter,
Boy Genius, will not be outdone
by a bunch of girls!"
*CROSSOVER ALERT!!!*CROSSOVER ALERT!!*
Freudian slip. We've secretly
replaced TV's Dexter with Anime's Ranma. Let's see if anyone notices
the
difference.
Ranma(to Dee-Dee): Quit messin' up my lab, you uncute tomboy!
Dee-Dee(ballet-dancing, giggling): Dexter...
no... baka! (breaks a
sample container full of cold water over Ranma's head) Oooooh!
Time
to play dress-up now!
Ranma gets dragged off to Dee-Dee's dreaded,
cootie-bug-filled room
and is forced to participate in a fashion show with Mee Mee and
Lee Lee
as judges. "No! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"