Chapter 21 Change of Heart

Rinoa stepped into Garden's cool interior, savoring the familiar tranquility of the place. Cadets milled around, laughing or talking quietly. She missed the place.

"Rinoa?" A voice greeted her in disbelief. Rinoa turned around and saw Irvine, and she squealed in delight. "Irvy!"

"Glad to see you too," He hugged her. "Came to see Squall?"

"Well, yes, but it's not about. us." She said sheepishly. Irvine nodded, looking grave. "Maybe you can do something about him."

"What?" She was puzzled as Irvine escorted her to the elevator. The tall cowboy frowned. "Quisty's gone."

"Gone?" She gasped. "You mean she's - "

"No, she left. Resigned." He sighed. "Maybe it's the work, maybe it's tension; but he's becoming more and more depressed."

"Why did she leave?"

"No idea." He sighed. "After the Thorpe thing, she sort of. well." he explained everything and a look of understanding came to her. "And he didn't try to find her?"

"He said it was her right to choose. But I swear sometimes I see him going to the hangar and turning back just before he reached it."

She shook her head as the elevator stopped at the third floor. Irvine tipped his hat. "I expect good news, Rinoa." She waved him and stepped into the bridge.

Squall sat behind his desk, but he wasn't working. He was leaning back and staring at the empty desk across him. Just staring, as if he could see something she couldn't. Feeling she needed some attention, she coughed politely.

"Rinoa?" Squall blinked as the girl came up to him and hugged him. "How're you doing?"

"." He watched her sit on the sofa. "What brings you here? How's Cody?"

"He's great," She smiled. Then she turned serious. "Look, we've got some big stuff for you. Remember the serum Cody and Quistis was injected with? Well." She fidgeted, feeling uncomfortable. "I found more - in the underground tunnels of my house."

Squall raised an eyebrow. "You mean."

"I think so too." She sighed. "I heard about the dragon thing. And I think that was his work." She bit her lip. "I can't get to those things cause they're being guarded - I can't risk getting caught. But I can't let them just stay there. Who knows what he's gonna do with them?"

"I understand." Squall said briskly. "I'll have SeeD infiltrate your mansion. Don't worry," he gave her a small smile. She smiled too, and then pretended to look around. "So Quisty's gone?"

His face turned into granite again. "."

"Wonder why she left." Rinoa mused. "She looked fine when I left. Have you done something, Squally?" She teased. Squall didn't answer.

Rinoa shrugged. "It probably isn't my business, but it seems to me somebody's being a real pighead.' She stood up and poked him in the chest. "I'm not going to remind you what she's done for you and the rest of us, but I'm going to tell you something you maybe haven't figured out. She loves you." She said simply. Then she smiled and turned around to leave.

"I. I know."

She stopped. "She would have been disappointed to know her student was so stupid."

"It was her decision."

"She lived for you." Rinoa whirled around furiously. "Hyne, she's the most resilient person I've ever met! Irvine told me everything. She loved you to the point of giving her life, of standing by you when you were with me, of quitting the one thing she loved to do because she couldn't bear you avoiding her!" She finished with a flourish, ignoring the furious stare Squall was giving her. "She probably would kill me for saying this, but Squall, I'm happy if she finds someone else who would treat her better, cause she sure won't find it with you." She paused and then said slyly; "I think she's got something for Seifer, maybe you can visit him and see what he has to say."

That did the trick. His eyes flashed and he switched on the Communication channel. "Get me Eshtar Hospital!"

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Quistis laughed as the little boy splashed about in the water. The wind blew around her, making her skirt flap madly. I should have done this long ago, she thought contentedly. To think it took me three years. her heart tightened as a vision of piercing gray eyes swim into her mind. I will not think about him! It's been three weeks since she arrived at the Cape of Good Hope, and she intended to stay for maybe another month. She planned to stay in Centra - the weather was heavenly.

"Quistis?"

She turned around and saw Edea come towards her, carrying a tray of lemonade. "Matron!"

After the Thorpe incident, Edea had returned to the orphanage and Quistis had decided to stay here for a while - not because Matron was there, but because this was the only place besides Balamb Garden that she could call home.

"Timmy's having fun," Edea observed the little boy. Timmy had taken an instant liking to Quistis and insisted the girl accompany him everywhere.

"He's a great kid," Quistis said happily. "Is he going to be adopted?"

"I don't think so." Edea sighed. "He's nearly eight; I think he'll be sent to Garden. I see a potential gunblade artist in him." Edea observed the rigidness of her young friend at her words. So she was still hurting.

"It's a dangerous weapon," She said softly. " People who study it either end up giving in or become cold-hearted mercenaries."

"Are you speaking from personal experience, dear?" Edea asked, smiling a little. "The gunblade is a refined, elegant weapon. The wielder is practically a one-man army."

"I don't like it." She said flatly. And then she grinned as Timmy began digging in the sand. "Look at him! Why turn him into a mercenary? It's a grueling job, Matron."

"But you love it." Edea drove the point home. "Why did you leave, darling?"

Edea saw the tears beginning to gather. "I love SeeD." She said plainly. "But I can't concentrate if my mind is distracted. I hate doing things without doing it whole-heartedly."

"Do you love Squall whole-heartedly?"

She stiffened. "It's getting late. Timmy!' She called and started towards the boy. Edea watched her go with a mixture of sadness. A few days ago Squall had called, asking if Quistis was there. After a month, the boy finally came to his senses, but Edea couldn't tell him. She thought Quistis still needed time. She had gone through too much.

The wind caught the hat and blew it away, spilling Quistis' silver hair out for the wind to play with. Edea smiled sadly. Squall and Quistis; as different and yet as similar as night and day. One cannot do without the other, and she knew soon they would realize it too.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Squall frowned as he thought about Rinoa's words. He had confessed that he knew... Hyne, he had accepted what he's been feeling; if only he could find a way to show it -

Where is she? For weeks since her disappearance he had refrained himself from searching for her, believing she would return. But this time he was wrong - weeks had gone by and there was till no sign of her. No sign of her familiar stern presence in the detention room, her confident voice in the Bridge; no sign of her coming back to stand by him. Is that what's missing? Fighting alone - even with the others, he felt vulnerable, insecure. She wasn't there to scold him, or watch his back like she did so many times before. She had been part of him, and now she's gone, he was feeling... lonely.

He mentally shook his head as he piloted the Ragnarok. He had called Esthar Hospital and requested to see Seifer - the man was recovering from his self-inflicted wound. Laguna had put him in Presidential Treatment and Squall had the feeling he didn't want to leave. But before Squall left for Esthar, he had given precise instructions to Irvine, Selphie and Zell. "Find the serum and destroy them in any way necessary - short of dumping them in the sewers of course. Do this without General Caraway knowing anything."

Seifer quirked his brow as the familiar figure of Squall Leonhart entered the room. "Whoa. this must be some kind of omen!" Seifer grinned. He was still recovering, but he was doing fine. And he had no questions about being in a hospital with the best service gil could buy (Laguna's orders) and pretty nurses at his beck and call.

"Laguna said you're doing fine." Squall sat down on a sofa. "Some treatment you get here."

"Ah well," He grinned. "So, don't tell me you're on a courtesy call."

"I came to find Quistis." He said directly. "I found out that she visited you before."

Seifer shrugged. 'She was pretty desolate," He tested the waters, and when Squall didn't reply, Seifer chuckled. "Look, Commander, she didn't look like she wanted to be found. She's a civilian now, and I think she's still getting used to that. All the male nurses kept asking for her autograph you know." He laughed. "If I thought she was beautiful before, with that hair, I don't have a word for it!"

"Did she tell you where she was going?"

Seifer considered telling him, but then considered lying because he had promised Quistis. "I want to be alone," She had said.

Seifer shrugged. "Try somebody else."

Squall sighed. "I can't zoom around on the Ragnarok. She'll just run away. I need to know where she is."

"Miss her?"

"." Squall rested his chin atop his hands. "Things aren't the same."

"You've changed too." Seifer popped a grape into his mouth. "Still, don't know how you managed to lose Quisty. If it was up to her she would've died a SeeD."

"She resigned, and it was up to her."

"Well, off you go." Seifer made flapping gestures at Squall. "I have a massage at three-thirty."

As Squall left, Seifer grinned. 'Hey Squall."

"."

"Go home." He said emphatically. "With any luck, she'll be waiting there, like a good wife."

Squall leveled his questioning eyes on him, but Seifer merely shrugged. 'What? Don't tell me you don't have a home?"

Home. Squall steered the Ragnarok. Where would he call home? Garden. But was it really home? As if following some strange instruction, he found himself approaching Cape of Good Hope. It was already night, and he could see the cheery lights coming from the orphanage. He landed a little way off and walked across the plains to the stone house, heart pounding.

Edea heard a knock at the door and frowned. A visitor so late? All the children were asleep, and she herself was thinking of bed. She cautiously opened the door and her eyes widened as Squall entered the room. "Matron," he hugged her briefly. Edea was speechless.

"Who's zat?" A small voice mumbled from the foot of the stairs. Edea rushed to him. 'Timmy! Why aren't you - "

"I want Quisty." He said sleepily. "She's supposed to tell me a story."

She threw a panicked look at Squall, who looked quite calm. "Hi Timmy."

"Hello." Timmy's eyes fell on the gunblade in its sheath at his waist, and Quistis' whip. 'Is that Quisty's whip?" he said in awe. "She drew me a picture once! Can I hold it?"

"Shh. It's time for bed," Edea tried to steer him, but he was stubborn. "I want Quisty!"

Squall watched Edea for a moment. "I came to give her whip back."

Edea smiled slightly. "And her heart?"

Squall didn't answer, but Edea smiled anyway. She inclined her head to the back door. "Quickly, because Timmy needs her."

"I need her." He said flatly and stepped outside.

The moon smiled from the star-sprinkled sky, and Squall could hear the gentle lapping of the waves at they hit the shore. But his mind wasn't registering these things. All he could see was a solitary figure standing at the far end, watching the lighthouse slowly spin its giant lantern. Her hair shone as bright as the moon itself, and from where he stood, he could see her face; radiant and as perfect as the finest china.

Quistis inhaled the salty scent of the sea and smiled in pleasure at the cold water lapping at her feet. The night was warm, and she could stand outside in a cotton dress without a coat. She let the wind run in her hair, caressing her skin. Tomorrow. Tomorrow she would go to Eshtar and visit Seifer. With any luck, she could see Ellone too, thought she would need a disguise. She knew Squall hadn't started searching for her - if he wanted to, that is. "He's too busy to think of you." She said aloud.

"He's too busy thinking of you." A familiar voice said softly. Quistis froze. She could feel his presence, but she wasn't about to turn around. "Has Garden run out of business? I'd think he has his hands full."

"He can't cope without his aide." "The Great Commander Leonhart admitting he's not perfect." She said lightly. "Too bad, his aide isn't coming back."

"He wants her to come back."

"She doesn't need all that work anymore."

"He needs her." He said it with such despair that it choked Quistis. "He's. trying to fool himself." She said brokenly. "Garden needs her. He's trying. to be a leader."

"He's not asking you to come back to Garden." He said softly. "He just wants you to come back to him. Please come back, Quisty." His voice was ragged. "I."

Quistis turned around and stared up into his eyes in disbelief. Then as if she was repulsed by the idea she stared to walk past him, but he caught her arm and pulled her into a tight embrace, burying his face in her hair. Hyne, how much he missed her! The nights of torture when his body reminded him how glorious it was to hold her - A night when his drunken mind finally understood the feelings he had for her;

"Squall." She whispered and hugged him back, tears flowing freely. How could she think she could live without him? In one moment she felt as if her life had been restored - happiness flooded her and she let her tears fall, knowing they were tears of relief and joy. Who was she trying to fool? She missed his little smiles, the quiet authority in his voice, the reassuring glance he gave now and then - She missed HIM. The memory of a drunken error so long ago came back and her body ached to be near him, to touch and believe that he was for real.

"You're still a SeeD." He mumbled into her hair. "I never opened your letter. I can't." He pulled back and gazed into her cerulean depths. He wanted to lose himself in those eyes, to feel those arms hold him and tell him everything's fine.

Quistis wiped her tears and smiled happily. "You mean I'm still at Garden? I can go back?"

"Everyone's waiting for you." He said, smiling. It was a real, genuine smile, and it made her heart leap. "Thank you," She whispered and pressed her face against his chest. "Thank you."

He ran his fingers through her hair, a mellow feeling spreading in his body. Presently he remembered something. "Timmy asked you to come in and read him a story." He said promptly. She gasped. "Is it that late already?"

"Late enough." An amused voice came from behind them. Quistis jerked up and saw Edea standing a little way off, her black dress melting perfectly into the night. But her smile was obvious. "Timmy got so bored of waiting that he went to bed. But I daresay he'll be cranky in the morning."

"Oh." Quistis bit her lip. She was feeling terribly guilty, but to her surprise Squall was still smiling. "We'll spend the night here. Tomorrow I'm bringing her back."

"Good riddance." Edea nodded, smiling knowingly. "I was getting tired of being second in favour around here."

"Matron!" Quistis turned slightly pink, but Squall had drew her towards the house, walking behind Edea.

"I'll go check on Timmy." Quistis whispered as they entered the house. Squall followed Edea to the guest room in the back while she tiptoed to the second floor. Timmy's bed was by the window, and the moon threw him into an angelic profile. "Poor Timmy." She leaned down and gently kissed his forehead. I'll be gone tomorrow. "How come he gets a goodnight kiss?" Squall teased lightly as he stood beside her. She grinned at him. "Getting cheeky aren't you? What has Irvine been putting in your head?"

"Blame the cowboy for having his hormones in overdrive," Squall said agreeably. Quistis stifled a laugh. She leaned against his comforting presence as he absently put his arms around her. A sharp poke made her pull back. "My whip!"

"Oh, I was giving it back," he pulled it out from his belt and handed it over. "Lesson one: never part with your weapon," He chuckled as she lovingly stroked the leather. "I taught you that."

Quistis laughed. "This is one thing I missed when I left Garden."

"."

"Stop it, I missed everyone," She giggled at his slight frown. He blinked impatiently. "We're leaving first thing in the morning."

Author's note: Yes! Finally made it! Now I'll start on the ending, which will be familiar to all FFVIII players, theehee. Anyway, please review!!!!!