2.

"No! Don't!...Please!...Leave her alone!...Alkar NO!" Beverly watched helplessly as Deanna tried to fight her nightmare. She had already tried to wake her and failed, Troi was deep asleep and that, together with the remains of the sedative in her system, made it for Crusher near to impossible to wake her. A litany of Betazoid, Standard and even some Klingon curses, mixed with sobs filled the air.

Beverly sought frantically for a way to take away the fear, despair and anger her dearest friend was experiencing. The emotions were so uncharacteristic for the gentle empath it was actually a little disconcerting.

Suddenly she recalled how Will would calm her after Deanna would wake up in Sickbay from whatever ordeal she'd been through. She might not share any psychic bond with the Betazoid the way Will did, but they were very close friends. That should count for something.

Reasoning that physical contact would make it easier for Deanna to sense her emotions Beverly placed her hand against the distressed counselor's cheek and tried to focus her mind on positive emotions.

It took a while but finally Deanna began to calm and vanquished her nightmare. She remaining lying disturbingly still for another five minutes and then opened her onyx eyes. Beverly watched intently as the haze of sleep lifted from her eyes. Fear was still very much present in her features but bit by bit she came back to reality. "B-bev?"

"Shh...it's alright, you had a nightmare."

Deanna shook her head, her pain tearing at Crusher's heart. "They're more than nightmares; they're memories" and for the third time since she had walked into the doctor's quarters Deanna started to cry again. She hated herself for every tear that fell and she hated Alkar twice as much for making her cry in the first place. She could sense the guilt Beverly still held inside, together with compassion and anger at Alkar. She wanted to scream as loudly as she could and founds she couldn't control that urge.

Beverly jumped to her feet when Deanna suddenly screamed at the top of her lungs. But by some unexplainable way she just *knew* it wasn't a scream of pain or fear and so she let her and watched as her beautiful features let go of the fear and anger and instead transformed into a huge grin.

Hysterical laughter now bubbled from the Betazoid's throat, so infectious Beverly couldn't help but join in. Two stages she noted mentally one to go.

The two friends hugged each other fiercely as the laughter died into hick-ups.

* * *

Deanna walked back to her quarters after having talked with Beverly for several hours, when she was suddenly distracted by very intense and unsettling emotions. Without really thinking about it, she passed her won cabin and headed straight for Will's. She keyed his access code in and stepped into the darkness.

The second the doors opened she felt a sense of self-control overwhelming the previous dark emotions and when she softly called his name a block was put up around his mind. "Deanna!" He greeted cheerfully and ordered the lights on.

But he didn't fool her.

Suddenly she had the urge to run away from him, her own guilt overwhelming her as she was faced with his emotions. He had been so considerate of her, he had held her when she cried and watched over her when she slept. And now she suddenly realized she had neglected him, not only by snapping at him the previous day, but also by not trying to find out how he felt.

For thirty minutes she'd been dead to him and having been in the same position herself she knew exactly what he'd gone through, only she hadn't remembered until now. "Oh Will! I'm so sorry." Instead of running she flung herself into his arms, hoping her embrace would bring him some modicum of relief.

How it must have cost him to set aside his feelings while being there for her!

When Deanna threw himself in his arms, he couldn't do anything. She had found out, he'd burden her with his feelings. It didn't matter that it was her job, or that she would've expected no less; she just didn't deserve his emotional baggage on top of her own, not after what she'd been through.

"I know it hurts" he heard her whisper, "I know it hurts Imzadi, but it will get better, I promise."

How could she say that?! How could she know the hell he'd been through; thirty minutes without her dormant presence in his mind, thirty minutes alone for the first time since he'd met her. Where she'd touched him, his skin felt inflamed when she stepped away. Surprised he looked down at her and was met by two tear-strained eyes.

"I do know." She said quietly.

Her words, her soul and her eyes captivated him at that moment and time stood still. Of course she would know, he too had died and been revived. His need for her at time moment grew beyond any he'd ever experienced and without really thinking he pulled her flush against him, tipped her head upwards and capture her sweet mouth in the most Earth-shattering kiss either of them had ever experienced. Souls intertwined and soared in their hearts; their bond reaffirmed and healed.

She was alive

And shocked. After falling into his kiss Troi suddenly pushed herself away from her Imzadi, turned and ran as fast as she could.

* * *

Deanna found herself in Holodeck three. Her emotions in such a turmoil she didn't know what she was doing. Residual fear from the nightmarish memories was now mixed with confusion over the kiss she'd shared with Will.

She knew why he had kissed her; she had sensed his love, longing and need to feel her in every inch of his being clearly once he'd dropped his blocks completely. But she didn't know if she could return those feelings, she was so unsure and scared. Too many things had happened, too many emotions fighting for control inside of her. She had enjoyed the kiss, yes. And the tingling it caused along her skin felt wonderful.

"WHY IS MY LIFE SUCH A MESS?!"

She felt she had to hit something *hard* and to do so she asked the computer to load one of Riker's trainings programs. A sophisticated gym appeared around her and she quickly sought out the rectangular sack filled with sand and began to hit it with all her strength. Hammering without any technique, but just to be hammering.

Deanna had never been a violent person and there were but a few things that could ever bring her to the point of physically hurting someone but with all the turmoil raging within her she didn't give a damn who she hurt, or how badly, as long as she could release some of her frustration before she drove herself nuts.

* * *

By the time Will had recovered enough to seek out to Deanna and reached the holodeck he found Troi delivering weak punches to the training device. Her simple dress was soaked with sweat, dark curls stuck to her face and tears slipped from her eyes as curses from her throat. It broke his heart to see the sensitive counselor like that, knowing it was him who'd caused her turmoil. Carefully not to startle her he slid a hand to Deanna's shoulders and gently pulled her backwards.

Deanna turned around and looked at Will through teary eyes but remained silent.

Riker swallowed, and swallowed and swallowed again before he found his voice. "Deanna. About that...kiss...I'm, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have let myself go, but you looked breathtaking beautiful I--" he stopped himself, painfully aware of how corny he sounded.

When Deanna didn't speak he slowly raised his eyes to meet the black ones of his Imzadi. The furious beating of his heart settled a little when he found quiet understanding in the onyx depths. "It's all right."

"Is it Dea? Are we just going to forget it?" He didn't want to, he realized. Her death had made him see how important she was to him.

"Do you want to forget it?"

"No, no." Deanna smiled another brilliant smile and stepped forward. "What are you doing?"

"Continuing where I left off" she replied half smiling. The complex love she sensed from Will had broken away her barriers and although she knew neither of them were ready to commit yet, she wanted to take this chance, for she knew they both needed the mutual love to ease away the hurt and fear of the past weeks.

"Are you sure?" Deanna answered by covering Riker's mouth with her own, gently and tentatively exploring his lips. Riker responded hesitantly, savoring the sweetness of Troi's lips as he gently traced them with her tongue, not sure if it was the right thing to do. He gave in however when Deanna started teasing him by forcing her tongue between his lips, but pulling back before she'd reached his teeth.

Will cut off further teasing by attacking Deanna's mouth vigorously, demanding her to give herself to him, if only for one night.

Which she did willingly.