Chapter 23 Bleak Thoughts
Author's note: Happy, happy, happy! Finally my brain is whirring again! I also started a new fic, hope you guys have the time to check it out! It's only beginning, but I got ideas for it!!!! Some asked me; don't you write anything else but Qualls? Heheh. What can I say? I'm a fan. But I never bash anybody, even if I don't like them. So on with the show! This chapter is a bridge between the past chapter and the finale; you might find it pointless, but it can't be helped; It wouldn't be much of a Quall without its moments, right?
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The sky outside was gray and everything was shrouded in gloomy colors, rendering the Garden in bleak tones. It had returned to its original base; in quiet, peaceful Balamb. Yet all is not well inside the huge military academy.
"Any news?"
Quistis looked up from her computer screen into the eyes of a worried Selphie. She sighed. "No, not yet. Has Irvine come back?"
"Nope." Selphie shook her flipped hair. Her usual smile was missing, instead she wore a worried expression. "Quisty, I'm really, really worried..."
Quistis bit her lip. We all are. There simply isn't any other word for it. The recent events had thrown Balamb Garden into a state of disarray, making the administrators run around like hell. Quistis was particularly burdened as she had to do both her work, and...
"Quistis, Timber's Prime Minister is online to talk to Squall - can you take it?" Xu called and Quistis sighed. Another one. She had been swamped with calls from every head of state in the entire world, demanding to know the current standings. It seems rumors has it that SeeD had personally dispatched General Caraway to Heaven without a reason, and the other world leaders were squeamish about SeeD neutral standings. They felt that SeeD was becoming more of a global threat than peacekeeper.
Quistis heavily closed the channel after assuring the Prime Minister that SeeD did not, as rumors say, kicked General Caraway out of office; it was a misunderstanding as SeeD has no interest in politics. The Prime Minister has accepted her words, but with doubts as Quistis did not sound distressed. Hyne knows how strained she was since they returned from Deling.
Xu watched as Quistis took off her spectacles and rubbed her temples wearily. Mentally she cursed her Commander to neglect his duties as a leader; and bumped it all on his aide. Quistis had been under enough stress to make any normal person insane. Yet here she was, still signing papers, answering calls on behalf of her Commander. Xu recalled a time when Quistis would have thrown a fit under such circumstances, but now she was still able to pull herself together. Of course, Xu thought wryly, what she has been through was far worse than being bombarded by fidgety presidents.
Quistis finally shuffled the papers she had been going through and got up. "I need to rest for a while," She said in an oddly strained voice. "Any calls, just tell them to call back."
Xu nodded as she watched the girl walk out of the Bridge. Hell, the moment she passed through the door the phones began ringing again! Xu wearily sighed and picked up the call. "Balamb Garden..."
Quistis trudged through the carpeted corridors of the Six quarters. It was quiet since they occupied the whole corridor, and the others were out for the day. Except...
She hesitated before Squall's door and then pushed the intercom button. "...Squall?"
Silence. And then, a quiet beep sounded and the door slid open. Quistis uncertainly stepped inside and nearly tripped over a heavy book on the floor. Frowning, she surveyed her Commander's usually meticulous rooms. Today it looked like it had been hit by a typhoon. Books and papers were lying about, the wardrobe was open, revealing jackets and shirts hanging haphazardly, and his desk was a mess. The man himself was nowhere to be seen.
She sighed, muttered something inaudible under her breath and began picking the things up. Books and papers were swept up and arranged on the shelves; jackets were dusted and hung again, the desk arranged and she was just surveying her work when the bathroom door slid open and Squall appeared, drying his hair. He frowned as he looked around and turned a questioning glance at her. She gave his desk a quick pat. "Feeling upset is not a reason to live like a slob," She told him primly, smiling. He grunted something and went to his wardrobe. "Why are you here?"
She laughed. "That's a good question. Let's just say, the door opened for me?"
He put on a shirt and grimaced as he surveyed his reflection in the mirror. Quistis sighed. "Xu's yelling my ears off, and threatening to scratch your desk pretty soon if she doesn't see you in it." She knew how much Squall loved his Commander's desk. It was very stylish, and even though Squall wasn't the vain one, he once admitted the desk made him feel... powerful.
Squall finished drying his hair and draped the towel on a rack. Any other female would have been ogling at him, but she was busy putting his blinds up. He had to confess he had been in a bad mood, an he did throw his things about - but any man in his right minds would have done the same... wouldn't they?
"...Found her?" He asked as he sat on the bed. She finished with the blinds and looked around again. Trust her to be the neat one. "..."
He closed his eyes against the images that were beginning to flash before his eyes again...
"What have you done?!" Rinoa shrieked as she stumbled towards Cody, who was lying in a pool of blood. His own blood. Squall moved his eyes away from the sight, onto his own blade, stained red...
"Squall!"
He whirled around and saw Selphie standing, horrified in the doorway. "I..."
"Somebody help me!" Rinoa cried in aguish and Quistis hurriedly slipped a vial to Cody's lips. Nothing happened. She closed her eyes and blue light seeped into the man's body, but still, nothing. His heart remained still, and at last Quistis had to withdraw. Rinoa, who had been staring at her with hope in her eyes began to weep. "No..."
Squall dropped his gunblade, the weight of what he had done creeping on him. Rinoa looked up to face him, her eyes burning. "Why?!" She yelled. "Why did you kill him?!"
"I didn't - "
"You bastard!' Rinoa shrieked and flew at Squall, clawing madly. Selphie and Quistis tried to pull her away, and succeeded, but Squall had received several scratches and blood was running down his face from where she had hit him.
"Rinoa, hold it!" Selphie tried to scream, but the sorceress was in rage. "Ultima!!"
"Shit!" Zell cursed yelled in pain as the spell ripped through their bodies, making them dizzy. They never knew Ultima could be so powerful! It was at least ten times a normal Ultima!
"Stay away from me." Rinoa hissed, holding on to Cody's limp form. "Stay away, or you'll regret it."
A scuffle behind them told Squall somebody had escaped. "Get him!" Squall yelled and Zell obediently ran after General Caraway, with Selphie behind him. Squall turned to face Rinoa again, and to his surprise, they had vanished.
Squall slowly opened his eyes. Maybe it was the enormity of the event, or maybe it was Rinoa's voice ringing in his ears, yelling 'bastard'... either way, he was bitter. For the first time, he had regretted ever raising his gunblade. He regretted being who he was.
He was slowly aware of a pair of arms encircling him, wiping tears - tears?! Hyne, he was actually shedding tears!
They sat there, her head resting on his shoulder, gently stroking his damp hair. Maybe it was the relief to finally let go of the pent up anger, or maybe it was her mere presence, calming him and making him think clearly for the first time in days.
She pulled away slowly and studied his face. "Have you slept at all, Squall?" she noted the dark rings under his eyes, and he blinked. "..."
"Guessed as much," She giggled slightly. "Can't sleep? Need a lullaby?"
I need a teddy bear, he said silently and embraced her. She happily pressed her cheek against his chest. Just being in his arms made the tension melt away, but also made something else stir inside. Oh Hyne...
He gently nuzzled her temple, encouraging her head to tilt upwards. His lips sought hers and for a moment they seemed to be in a strange dance, touching, retreating before she finally let his warm ones close over hers in a burst of passion. She melted into his body, fitting his length perfectly and she felt him shift her so she was lying down on the bed, his body pressed on top of her, his hands roaming, seeking the womanly curves that graced her slender body. Maybe it was the erotic way his tongue thrust into her mouth or maybe it was her own exhaustion, but she was jolted out of her whirlpool and realized he was not going to be able to keep awake if he intends to do what she thought he was about to. She tenderly laid a hand on his jaw and he broke the kiss, eyes blank.
"Sleep..." She whispered and his eyes registered shock - before the spell rebounded and put her to sleep.
Squall chuckled softly. Apparently he neglected to mention he had Auto- Reflect equipped. He wistfully gazed at the beauty sleeping peacefully under him, debated whether to let her sleep here (and jeopardize their positions) or be the gentleman roughly wake her up.
Finally deciding neither, he carefully gathered her into his arms and walked out into the corridor, not bothering to look left and right first. Big mistake.
"Oooooh!!!"
He halted and inwardly groaned. Right in front of him were two female cadets, and their eyes were as large as saucers as they beheld their Commander carrying Quistis. He mentally cursed himself as they stared first at the chagrined Squall, and then to the peacefully sleeping Quistis nestled against his chest.
"Have you permission to be here?" He growled at the cadets and then turned red. Cadets were not allowed in the Six quarters unless they have an urgent errand or permission by one of them; or they just plain sneaked in. He guessed these cadets were the sneak type. "Get out of here before I have you scrubbing the Ragnarok!" He barked and the two cadets hurriedly saluted him and rushed away. He followed their helter-skelter run distastefully and who should come by but... Irvine. The tired-looking cowboy took one look at Squall and his jaw dropped, so did his Exeter.
'Will everybody please stop gawking at me?!" He snapped impatiently and began walking to Quistis' room, followed by a very astonished Irvine. "Well, hell no," He stammered, a slow grin spreading on his face. "So... did she just happen to fall asleep in the corridor and you found her, huh? Or, uh..."
"Keep your dirty thoughts to yourself," Squall sighed and came to her door. The security slot beeped. "Insert Card Key."
"Okay... am I supposed to believe she fell asleep just like that?" Irvine evidently wasn't giving up. Squall rolled his eyes. Quistis was likely to keep her key somewhere close to her person, and he didn't want to grope. Much as his mind naughtily urged him to, he firmly took out his own Card Key and swiped it in the slot. The machine beeped and the door noiselessly slid open. Irvine raised an eyebrow. "Sure that thing has no duplicate, buddy? Coz Selphie's been complaining of missing clothing..."
He as usual ignored Irvine and gently laid Quistis on the bed. Perhaps it was good she got hit by her own spell - he felt somewhat guilty of burdening her. She had enough on her hands as it is.
Irvine had followed Squall in and was looking around Quistis' room. He may have been friends with the ex-Instructor for some time, but her room had always been off-limits. Her room was perfectly tidy, the carpeting wasn't worn but still soft and springy. One could tell only how many times the carpet had felt the grace of Quistis' feet. Her work table was clear, and a small vase of lily-of-the-valley completed the room of this SeeD. He briefly wondered where she stashed all the letters and gifts the Trepies gave her - and decided not to wonder. Besides, he thought as he watched Squall gently tug off her boots and pull the covers up; if it was anybody's business to know, it would be this man in front of him.
"Didn't know you could be pretty homey," Irvine finally chuckled as Squall stepped back to see the effect. Squall smiled faintly. Who would have thought? Of all the hearts the Ice Queen touched, his melted...
"Any news?" He suddenly asked Irvine, and the cowboy scratched his head. "I don't have a clue, Squall. I've been looking high and low... nobody's seen her at all. It's like she disappeared from the face of the earth or something."
"Hospitals? Cemeteries?"
"Searched a hundred times." He sighed. "My best guess is she's somewhere we don't know... somewhere the Ragnarok can't reach."
"Maybe we should try Ellone..." Squall sighed. He didn't want to admit it, but he was afraid. Afraid of what might happen, now that Rinoa has gone missing.
My fault, an inner voice said weakly. If I hadn't been so damned stupid, none of this would have happened...
"Laguna wants to know what should we do with Magnus," Irvine remembered. "Is it safe to put him in Battleship Island with Vincent? Personally I don't think it's a good idea."
"Anything's a good idea in this time." Squall replied heavily. "At least we could get Caraway to shut up. I wish he would go to the public and explain we didn't kick him out - maybe Zell threatened him a little too roughly, but we sure didn't make him pack his bags."
"Ah, the human mind," Irvine said, laughing softly. "Come one, Squall. You're not going to stare at her while she sleeps, are you? Oh wait, you are?" He burst out laughing and walked out of the door. Squall stared after him in distaste and was about to leave when an object caught his eye.
A pair of hair sticks.
He fingered them lightly, remembering the night that started it all.
Are you regretting it, Squall...?
He looked over his shoulder to Quistis, who had turned on her side facing him, still blissfully sleeping. She would be mad as hell when she wakes up, but he could stand her wrath. He slowly bent down and is lips lightly brushed her forehead.
"No regrets."
Footnote: Review please, pretty please?
Author's note: Happy, happy, happy! Finally my brain is whirring again! I also started a new fic, hope you guys have the time to check it out! It's only beginning, but I got ideas for it!!!! Some asked me; don't you write anything else but Qualls? Heheh. What can I say? I'm a fan. But I never bash anybody, even if I don't like them. So on with the show! This chapter is a bridge between the past chapter and the finale; you might find it pointless, but it can't be helped; It wouldn't be much of a Quall without its moments, right?
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The sky outside was gray and everything was shrouded in gloomy colors, rendering the Garden in bleak tones. It had returned to its original base; in quiet, peaceful Balamb. Yet all is not well inside the huge military academy.
"Any news?"
Quistis looked up from her computer screen into the eyes of a worried Selphie. She sighed. "No, not yet. Has Irvine come back?"
"Nope." Selphie shook her flipped hair. Her usual smile was missing, instead she wore a worried expression. "Quisty, I'm really, really worried..."
Quistis bit her lip. We all are. There simply isn't any other word for it. The recent events had thrown Balamb Garden into a state of disarray, making the administrators run around like hell. Quistis was particularly burdened as she had to do both her work, and...
"Quistis, Timber's Prime Minister is online to talk to Squall - can you take it?" Xu called and Quistis sighed. Another one. She had been swamped with calls from every head of state in the entire world, demanding to know the current standings. It seems rumors has it that SeeD had personally dispatched General Caraway to Heaven without a reason, and the other world leaders were squeamish about SeeD neutral standings. They felt that SeeD was becoming more of a global threat than peacekeeper.
Quistis heavily closed the channel after assuring the Prime Minister that SeeD did not, as rumors say, kicked General Caraway out of office; it was a misunderstanding as SeeD has no interest in politics. The Prime Minister has accepted her words, but with doubts as Quistis did not sound distressed. Hyne knows how strained she was since they returned from Deling.
Xu watched as Quistis took off her spectacles and rubbed her temples wearily. Mentally she cursed her Commander to neglect his duties as a leader; and bumped it all on his aide. Quistis had been under enough stress to make any normal person insane. Yet here she was, still signing papers, answering calls on behalf of her Commander. Xu recalled a time when Quistis would have thrown a fit under such circumstances, but now she was still able to pull herself together. Of course, Xu thought wryly, what she has been through was far worse than being bombarded by fidgety presidents.
Quistis finally shuffled the papers she had been going through and got up. "I need to rest for a while," She said in an oddly strained voice. "Any calls, just tell them to call back."
Xu nodded as she watched the girl walk out of the Bridge. Hell, the moment she passed through the door the phones began ringing again! Xu wearily sighed and picked up the call. "Balamb Garden..."
Quistis trudged through the carpeted corridors of the Six quarters. It was quiet since they occupied the whole corridor, and the others were out for the day. Except...
She hesitated before Squall's door and then pushed the intercom button. "...Squall?"
Silence. And then, a quiet beep sounded and the door slid open. Quistis uncertainly stepped inside and nearly tripped over a heavy book on the floor. Frowning, she surveyed her Commander's usually meticulous rooms. Today it looked like it had been hit by a typhoon. Books and papers were lying about, the wardrobe was open, revealing jackets and shirts hanging haphazardly, and his desk was a mess. The man himself was nowhere to be seen.
She sighed, muttered something inaudible under her breath and began picking the things up. Books and papers were swept up and arranged on the shelves; jackets were dusted and hung again, the desk arranged and she was just surveying her work when the bathroom door slid open and Squall appeared, drying his hair. He frowned as he looked around and turned a questioning glance at her. She gave his desk a quick pat. "Feeling upset is not a reason to live like a slob," She told him primly, smiling. He grunted something and went to his wardrobe. "Why are you here?"
She laughed. "That's a good question. Let's just say, the door opened for me?"
He put on a shirt and grimaced as he surveyed his reflection in the mirror. Quistis sighed. "Xu's yelling my ears off, and threatening to scratch your desk pretty soon if she doesn't see you in it." She knew how much Squall loved his Commander's desk. It was very stylish, and even though Squall wasn't the vain one, he once admitted the desk made him feel... powerful.
Squall finished drying his hair and draped the towel on a rack. Any other female would have been ogling at him, but she was busy putting his blinds up. He had to confess he had been in a bad mood, an he did throw his things about - but any man in his right minds would have done the same... wouldn't they?
"...Found her?" He asked as he sat on the bed. She finished with the blinds and looked around again. Trust her to be the neat one. "..."
He closed his eyes against the images that were beginning to flash before his eyes again...
"What have you done?!" Rinoa shrieked as she stumbled towards Cody, who was lying in a pool of blood. His own blood. Squall moved his eyes away from the sight, onto his own blade, stained red...
"Squall!"
He whirled around and saw Selphie standing, horrified in the doorway. "I..."
"Somebody help me!" Rinoa cried in aguish and Quistis hurriedly slipped a vial to Cody's lips. Nothing happened. She closed her eyes and blue light seeped into the man's body, but still, nothing. His heart remained still, and at last Quistis had to withdraw. Rinoa, who had been staring at her with hope in her eyes began to weep. "No..."
Squall dropped his gunblade, the weight of what he had done creeping on him. Rinoa looked up to face him, her eyes burning. "Why?!" She yelled. "Why did you kill him?!"
"I didn't - "
"You bastard!' Rinoa shrieked and flew at Squall, clawing madly. Selphie and Quistis tried to pull her away, and succeeded, but Squall had received several scratches and blood was running down his face from where she had hit him.
"Rinoa, hold it!" Selphie tried to scream, but the sorceress was in rage. "Ultima!!"
"Shit!" Zell cursed yelled in pain as the spell ripped through their bodies, making them dizzy. They never knew Ultima could be so powerful! It was at least ten times a normal Ultima!
"Stay away from me." Rinoa hissed, holding on to Cody's limp form. "Stay away, or you'll regret it."
A scuffle behind them told Squall somebody had escaped. "Get him!" Squall yelled and Zell obediently ran after General Caraway, with Selphie behind him. Squall turned to face Rinoa again, and to his surprise, they had vanished.
Squall slowly opened his eyes. Maybe it was the enormity of the event, or maybe it was Rinoa's voice ringing in his ears, yelling 'bastard'... either way, he was bitter. For the first time, he had regretted ever raising his gunblade. He regretted being who he was.
He was slowly aware of a pair of arms encircling him, wiping tears - tears?! Hyne, he was actually shedding tears!
They sat there, her head resting on his shoulder, gently stroking his damp hair. Maybe it was the relief to finally let go of the pent up anger, or maybe it was her mere presence, calming him and making him think clearly for the first time in days.
She pulled away slowly and studied his face. "Have you slept at all, Squall?" she noted the dark rings under his eyes, and he blinked. "..."
"Guessed as much," She giggled slightly. "Can't sleep? Need a lullaby?"
I need a teddy bear, he said silently and embraced her. She happily pressed her cheek against his chest. Just being in his arms made the tension melt away, but also made something else stir inside. Oh Hyne...
He gently nuzzled her temple, encouraging her head to tilt upwards. His lips sought hers and for a moment they seemed to be in a strange dance, touching, retreating before she finally let his warm ones close over hers in a burst of passion. She melted into his body, fitting his length perfectly and she felt him shift her so she was lying down on the bed, his body pressed on top of her, his hands roaming, seeking the womanly curves that graced her slender body. Maybe it was the erotic way his tongue thrust into her mouth or maybe it was her own exhaustion, but she was jolted out of her whirlpool and realized he was not going to be able to keep awake if he intends to do what she thought he was about to. She tenderly laid a hand on his jaw and he broke the kiss, eyes blank.
"Sleep..." She whispered and his eyes registered shock - before the spell rebounded and put her to sleep.
Squall chuckled softly. Apparently he neglected to mention he had Auto- Reflect equipped. He wistfully gazed at the beauty sleeping peacefully under him, debated whether to let her sleep here (and jeopardize their positions) or be the gentleman roughly wake her up.
Finally deciding neither, he carefully gathered her into his arms and walked out into the corridor, not bothering to look left and right first. Big mistake.
"Oooooh!!!"
He halted and inwardly groaned. Right in front of him were two female cadets, and their eyes were as large as saucers as they beheld their Commander carrying Quistis. He mentally cursed himself as they stared first at the chagrined Squall, and then to the peacefully sleeping Quistis nestled against his chest.
"Have you permission to be here?" He growled at the cadets and then turned red. Cadets were not allowed in the Six quarters unless they have an urgent errand or permission by one of them; or they just plain sneaked in. He guessed these cadets were the sneak type. "Get out of here before I have you scrubbing the Ragnarok!" He barked and the two cadets hurriedly saluted him and rushed away. He followed their helter-skelter run distastefully and who should come by but... Irvine. The tired-looking cowboy took one look at Squall and his jaw dropped, so did his Exeter.
'Will everybody please stop gawking at me?!" He snapped impatiently and began walking to Quistis' room, followed by a very astonished Irvine. "Well, hell no," He stammered, a slow grin spreading on his face. "So... did she just happen to fall asleep in the corridor and you found her, huh? Or, uh..."
"Keep your dirty thoughts to yourself," Squall sighed and came to her door. The security slot beeped. "Insert Card Key."
"Okay... am I supposed to believe she fell asleep just like that?" Irvine evidently wasn't giving up. Squall rolled his eyes. Quistis was likely to keep her key somewhere close to her person, and he didn't want to grope. Much as his mind naughtily urged him to, he firmly took out his own Card Key and swiped it in the slot. The machine beeped and the door noiselessly slid open. Irvine raised an eyebrow. "Sure that thing has no duplicate, buddy? Coz Selphie's been complaining of missing clothing..."
He as usual ignored Irvine and gently laid Quistis on the bed. Perhaps it was good she got hit by her own spell - he felt somewhat guilty of burdening her. She had enough on her hands as it is.
Irvine had followed Squall in and was looking around Quistis' room. He may have been friends with the ex-Instructor for some time, but her room had always been off-limits. Her room was perfectly tidy, the carpeting wasn't worn but still soft and springy. One could tell only how many times the carpet had felt the grace of Quistis' feet. Her work table was clear, and a small vase of lily-of-the-valley completed the room of this SeeD. He briefly wondered where she stashed all the letters and gifts the Trepies gave her - and decided not to wonder. Besides, he thought as he watched Squall gently tug off her boots and pull the covers up; if it was anybody's business to know, it would be this man in front of him.
"Didn't know you could be pretty homey," Irvine finally chuckled as Squall stepped back to see the effect. Squall smiled faintly. Who would have thought? Of all the hearts the Ice Queen touched, his melted...
"Any news?" He suddenly asked Irvine, and the cowboy scratched his head. "I don't have a clue, Squall. I've been looking high and low... nobody's seen her at all. It's like she disappeared from the face of the earth or something."
"Hospitals? Cemeteries?"
"Searched a hundred times." He sighed. "My best guess is she's somewhere we don't know... somewhere the Ragnarok can't reach."
"Maybe we should try Ellone..." Squall sighed. He didn't want to admit it, but he was afraid. Afraid of what might happen, now that Rinoa has gone missing.
My fault, an inner voice said weakly. If I hadn't been so damned stupid, none of this would have happened...
"Laguna wants to know what should we do with Magnus," Irvine remembered. "Is it safe to put him in Battleship Island with Vincent? Personally I don't think it's a good idea."
"Anything's a good idea in this time." Squall replied heavily. "At least we could get Caraway to shut up. I wish he would go to the public and explain we didn't kick him out - maybe Zell threatened him a little too roughly, but we sure didn't make him pack his bags."
"Ah, the human mind," Irvine said, laughing softly. "Come one, Squall. You're not going to stare at her while she sleeps, are you? Oh wait, you are?" He burst out laughing and walked out of the door. Squall stared after him in distaste and was about to leave when an object caught his eye.
A pair of hair sticks.
He fingered them lightly, remembering the night that started it all.
Are you regretting it, Squall...?
He looked over his shoulder to Quistis, who had turned on her side facing him, still blissfully sleeping. She would be mad as hell when she wakes up, but he could stand her wrath. He slowly bent down and is lips lightly brushed her forehead.
"No regrets."
Footnote: Review please, pretty please?