~A Once and Again Series~
Where Do We Go From Here?
Chapter 6//Forget I said it
**author's note-- this chapter is the first of many memory flashbacks to help fill in the blanks about Eli/Grace's relationship.... this first one in this chapter is partly taken from "The Second Time Around" but then I added to it. You'll see. Thanks for reading.**
"You're so cute when you sleep."
"Hmm?" Eli asked, shifting in his bed. He opened his eyes and found big brown eyes staring down at him. "What time is it?" He asked groggily.
She backed away, glancing at the clock, "It's a little after 10."
"Shit!" Eli sat up, rubbing his temples, "I'm supposed to be at work at 10!"
Susie looked at him with a smile, "So, skip it."
Eli shook his head, "No, I'll just be late."
Susie pouted, watching him get up from the bed. Eli hurriedly got dressed and then threw Susie's wrinkled dress at her. Susie slipped it over her head with a frown. "I thought we'd... you know... this morning, since we didn't last night." She said.
"We didn't?" Eli said, with a sigh of relief.
"No, you were too wasted," Susie said. "You kept calling me Grace... and I didn't know if was a kinky game or something, so...." Susie looked at him quizzically, "Is there a 'Grace'?"
Eli shook his head. "There's no Grace," He lied. "Now, we should really go."
Susie got up from the bed, slipping on her sandals "Will you call me?"
Eli held the door opened for her. "No, I don't think so."
Susie looked at him, hurt. She went out the door. Eli groaned to himself.
* * *
Grace went to the living room, checking on the napping Dominic. She heard a car start up, and she went to the window, looking out. She frowned as she saw Eli and some girl in his car, backing out of the driveway. Why had she expected different? Grace turned away from the window with tears lining her eyes.
* * *
"When were you going to tell me??" Zoe exclaimed as she came in the house after being dropped off by Tiffany.
"What?" Grace asked.
"I overheard Dad and Tiffany talking about you... you're pregnant?!" Zoe looked at her older sister with surprise.
Grace nodded, "I was going to tell you next. You're going to be an aunt."
Zoe smiled at that. "That's so cool."
Grace smiled, amused by how easily swayed her sister was. Too bad her parents weren't like that. Her mother had been switching from giving her the silent treatment to overloading her with questions. And her father kept asking who the guy behind her pregnancy was, but Grace wouldn't tell... she couldn't tell.
"Hey!" Jessie said as she came in the house.
"Did you know Grace is pregnant?" Zoe asked.
Jessie caught Grace's warning look, and shook her head. "Uh, no. Wow, Grace," She said, unconvincingly.
Zoe frowned, "You knew!?" She looked at Grace in anger, "Ugh!"
Grace shook her head and smiled as Zoe stormed out of the room.
"Sorry," Jessie said, "I guess I'm not a good liar."
Grace smiled at her stepsister, "That's okay. Zoe's always mad at me for something or another."
Jessie sank down into the couch, next to Grace. "So, do you feel any different?"
Grace touched her belly lightly, "Not yet..."
"I'm glad you told everyone," Jessie said.
"I just wish they took it better. But they haven't kicked me out or sent me away to an unwed mother's clinic...so that's hopeful, I guess." Grace smiled.
"And... Eli?" Jessie asked, "Did you tell him?"
"Yeah, I did..." Grace sighed, "But now I wished I hadn't... or at least said it was someone else's."
"Grace!" Jessie cried in surprise.
"Jess... I don't think he's ready to handle this. He said he wants to be a part of it, but how can he when he's..." Grace trailed off sadly.
Jessie nodded. She understood. She didn't like what her brother had become either.
The two of them sat in thought for a while, and then Jessie couldn't resist asking, "So, when did you and Eli first get together, anyways?"
Grace sunk deeper into thought, digging through her memories... there had always been something between her and Eli since the beginning of her mother's and Rick's relationship--- or at least on Grace's side. She had always liked him, even though she tried to bury it, especially when Eli started dating her best friend, Carla. But then Carla left, and Grace helped Eli get through it. And on the day of their parent's wedding two years ago... there had been that almost kiss. That was the first time Grace had thought Eli might actually have feelings for her too. And that's when things between them began to change more prominently.
[[[[.....memory flashback start]]]]
Grace entered her room, carrying her clothes. She had just changed into her bridesmaid's dress for the wedding. Grace was surprised to see Eli sitting on her bedroom floor, leaning against her bed. She wasn't that surprised to see Carla's letter in his hand though... she figured he'd want to read it someday. She just hoped...
Grace moved forward, shutting her bedroom door behind her and setting her clothes down in an indiscreet corner. Grace went over to the bed, sitting down. She looked over at Eli with concern. Eli was looking at the floor.
"I'm sorry," Grace said, now that Eli knew she had lied about the continents of the letter. She had told him Carla said she missed him, but actually Carla had said the opposite.
"You didn't do anything," Eli said, staring downwards.
"Yes I did--" Grace began.
"No, you didn't," Eli cut her off. He paused, and then said the words on his mind, "It's so weird..." He looked over at Grace, and Grace hated the pained look in his eyes. "...that she doesn't miss me," Eli continued, "Cause I'm never going to stop missing her."
Grace took that in, but realized she already knew that. Carla had been an important part of Eli's life for the past couple of months, and she had also been Grace's best friend. Grace looked over at Eli, "I know."
"You're like the only one who does know," Eli said, looking up at her again. "You're like the only person who doesn't keep telling me it's not true." Eli's eyes danced from Grace's eyes, to her lips, to her dress, and then back to her eyes. "That's a pretty dress."
Grace looked back at his eyes, and then her gaze fell to his soft lips. She felt herself leaning in, and he was leaning in too... they were going to kiss.
Grace's bedroom door opened, and Jessie stood there. Grace looked up in surprise, and moved quickly away from Eli. Together she and Eli snapped, "WHAT?!"
Jessie looked at the two of them, startled. "They called off the wedding." Jessie stepped out of the room, and began to shut the door, but then looked back at the two of them and left it open.
Eli and Grace sat in stunned silence as Jessie's footsteps sounded down the stairs. Finally Eli stood up, handing Grace Carla's letter. "Take it," He said, not looking at her.
"You can keep it," Grace said numbly.
"I don't want it," Eli said fiercely. He shoved the letter at her, and Grace reluctantly took it. She looked up, and their eyes met. Grace looked deep into his eyes, wondering if she imagined that, or if he was really about to kiss her before Jessie interrupted.
Eli stared at her back, noticing her pretty dress... and her pretty self. Her hair was pulled back in loose cornrows on the top and the bottom part hung loose. It was an attractive style on her. "It looks like we're not going to be stepbrother and stepsister today..." Eli said softly.
Grace nodded, dropping her gaze from his eyes. Her thoughts pained her as he began to move to the door. "I could give you her address."
"Hmm?" Eli asked.
"Carla's address... I could give it to you, and you could write her," Grace offered, even though it was the exact opposite of what she wanted to do. She just wanted to forget Carla had ever come into their lives, and somehow find a way for her and Eli to... be more.
Eli shook his head softly. He looked at the ground and then back at Grace. Grace noticed the hurt look he had had when she had first entered her room was gone, and now just a wondering look stayed. "I don't think I want it," Eli said, and even managed a puzzled smile, not sure why he felt this change. He moved forward, closer to Grace.
Grace looked up at him.
"Grace, you've been a really good friend..." Eli said, looking intently at her. "Through all of this... You're amazing."
Grace shook her head, "I'm not."
"You are," Eli took a deep breath. "I guess we should get down there..."
Grace nodded, fighting her urges to ask about the earlier almost- kiss. This just wasn't the right time. She would just pretend it hadn't happen, since that seemed to be what he was going to do. They walked downstairs.
[[[[....end of memory flashback]]]]
"Grace?" Jessie asked, drawing Grace back from her memories. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."
"Oh, no... I... we've---since the ... uh... I... it was last summer," Grace answered, as she wondered how much to say. Although ever since the wedding, there had been an undeniable attractive between them, they didn't really get together until the summer after her junior year. The summer after Mr. Dimitri.... "We officially got together last summer," She told Jessie.
"A year ago?" Jessie asked in surprise. "This has been going on for a year?"
"It was going on for a couple of months," Grace corrected. "It ended a while ago... but..."
Jessie nodded, sensing it was too pressing for Grace to go on. She looked down at Grace's hands which were unconsciously tightening their grip on each other. "Have you thought of any names for the baby?" Jessie asked, switching the topic.
"Names?" Grace asked in surprise. "No, I haven't given it any thought." Her body relaxed a little as they ventured off the topic of Eli. "I did set up an appointment with a doctor though for next week... so we'll know the due date."
Jessie smiled, "That'll be nice."
Grace nodded. She stood up. "I have something I have to do."
Jessie looked at her curiously, but just nodded. Grace left the living room.
* * *
Eli groaned and called out, "Come in."
Grace entered his garage apartment and closed the door behind her. "Hey."
Eli heard the anger in her tone. He silently awaited her words.
Grace moved forward, her fingers brushing his CD collection. She paused, looking at the titles with faked-interest, and then decided just to get out with it... "Do you really want to be a part of the baby's life?"
"Of course," Eli said, sounding hurt.
Grace closed her eyes briefly. When she opened them again, Eli had gotten off his bed and moved towards her. "Then.... we're going to have to tell them."
Eli's eyes widened and he shook his head vehemently. "Grace, we can't do THAT!"
"How else do you expect it to happen then? Don't you think they'd get suspicious when you're always with the baby?" Grace questioned.
"I'd just being a good step-uncle..." Eli said, the words tasting bitter.
"God!" Grace cried. She laughed harshly, "This is like an episode of Jerry Springer.... the step-uncle who's also the father, and who's still sleeping around on the mother, who's his step-sister!"
Eli's face tightened at her words, which were supposed to be a joke, but came out ringing true. "Grace, I'm not sleeping around on you..."
"Who was that girl?" Grace blurted out. "This morning, some girl left here with you!"
Eli sighed, "Yes... there was a girl, but I didn't sleep with her--- and even if I did, Grace, it wouldn't be cheating, because we're not a couple!"
"No, we're not," Grace agreed. The words hurt, even though she knew it. They hadn't been officially a couple for a few months now... and even when they were a couple, it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows. It had been tough.
"Okay, we're not a couple..." Eli repeated, "But you still want me to tell everyone I'm the father and that we WERE a couple? And have them all dig into our sorted past?"
"You don't have to do anything, Eli..." Grace said, frowning, "Forget I said it."
"Grace...." Eli said, pleadingly, but she left without looking back.
* * *
Where Do We Go From Here?
Chapter 6//Forget I said it
**author's note-- this chapter is the first of many memory flashbacks to help fill in the blanks about Eli/Grace's relationship.... this first one in this chapter is partly taken from "The Second Time Around" but then I added to it. You'll see. Thanks for reading.**
"You're so cute when you sleep."
"Hmm?" Eli asked, shifting in his bed. He opened his eyes and found big brown eyes staring down at him. "What time is it?" He asked groggily.
She backed away, glancing at the clock, "It's a little after 10."
"Shit!" Eli sat up, rubbing his temples, "I'm supposed to be at work at 10!"
Susie looked at him with a smile, "So, skip it."
Eli shook his head, "No, I'll just be late."
Susie pouted, watching him get up from the bed. Eli hurriedly got dressed and then threw Susie's wrinkled dress at her. Susie slipped it over her head with a frown. "I thought we'd... you know... this morning, since we didn't last night." She said.
"We didn't?" Eli said, with a sigh of relief.
"No, you were too wasted," Susie said. "You kept calling me Grace... and I didn't know if was a kinky game or something, so...." Susie looked at him quizzically, "Is there a 'Grace'?"
Eli shook his head. "There's no Grace," He lied. "Now, we should really go."
Susie got up from the bed, slipping on her sandals "Will you call me?"
Eli held the door opened for her. "No, I don't think so."
Susie looked at him, hurt. She went out the door. Eli groaned to himself.
* * *
Grace went to the living room, checking on the napping Dominic. She heard a car start up, and she went to the window, looking out. She frowned as she saw Eli and some girl in his car, backing out of the driveway. Why had she expected different? Grace turned away from the window with tears lining her eyes.
* * *
"When were you going to tell me??" Zoe exclaimed as she came in the house after being dropped off by Tiffany.
"What?" Grace asked.
"I overheard Dad and Tiffany talking about you... you're pregnant?!" Zoe looked at her older sister with surprise.
Grace nodded, "I was going to tell you next. You're going to be an aunt."
Zoe smiled at that. "That's so cool."
Grace smiled, amused by how easily swayed her sister was. Too bad her parents weren't like that. Her mother had been switching from giving her the silent treatment to overloading her with questions. And her father kept asking who the guy behind her pregnancy was, but Grace wouldn't tell... she couldn't tell.
"Hey!" Jessie said as she came in the house.
"Did you know Grace is pregnant?" Zoe asked.
Jessie caught Grace's warning look, and shook her head. "Uh, no. Wow, Grace," She said, unconvincingly.
Zoe frowned, "You knew!?" She looked at Grace in anger, "Ugh!"
Grace shook her head and smiled as Zoe stormed out of the room.
"Sorry," Jessie said, "I guess I'm not a good liar."
Grace smiled at her stepsister, "That's okay. Zoe's always mad at me for something or another."
Jessie sank down into the couch, next to Grace. "So, do you feel any different?"
Grace touched her belly lightly, "Not yet..."
"I'm glad you told everyone," Jessie said.
"I just wish they took it better. But they haven't kicked me out or sent me away to an unwed mother's clinic...so that's hopeful, I guess." Grace smiled.
"And... Eli?" Jessie asked, "Did you tell him?"
"Yeah, I did..." Grace sighed, "But now I wished I hadn't... or at least said it was someone else's."
"Grace!" Jessie cried in surprise.
"Jess... I don't think he's ready to handle this. He said he wants to be a part of it, but how can he when he's..." Grace trailed off sadly.
Jessie nodded. She understood. She didn't like what her brother had become either.
The two of them sat in thought for a while, and then Jessie couldn't resist asking, "So, when did you and Eli first get together, anyways?"
Grace sunk deeper into thought, digging through her memories... there had always been something between her and Eli since the beginning of her mother's and Rick's relationship--- or at least on Grace's side. She had always liked him, even though she tried to bury it, especially when Eli started dating her best friend, Carla. But then Carla left, and Grace helped Eli get through it. And on the day of their parent's wedding two years ago... there had been that almost kiss. That was the first time Grace had thought Eli might actually have feelings for her too. And that's when things between them began to change more prominently.
[[[[.....memory flashback start]]]]
Grace entered her room, carrying her clothes. She had just changed into her bridesmaid's dress for the wedding. Grace was surprised to see Eli sitting on her bedroom floor, leaning against her bed. She wasn't that surprised to see Carla's letter in his hand though... she figured he'd want to read it someday. She just hoped...
Grace moved forward, shutting her bedroom door behind her and setting her clothes down in an indiscreet corner. Grace went over to the bed, sitting down. She looked over at Eli with concern. Eli was looking at the floor.
"I'm sorry," Grace said, now that Eli knew she had lied about the continents of the letter. She had told him Carla said she missed him, but actually Carla had said the opposite.
"You didn't do anything," Eli said, staring downwards.
"Yes I did--" Grace began.
"No, you didn't," Eli cut her off. He paused, and then said the words on his mind, "It's so weird..." He looked over at Grace, and Grace hated the pained look in his eyes. "...that she doesn't miss me," Eli continued, "Cause I'm never going to stop missing her."
Grace took that in, but realized she already knew that. Carla had been an important part of Eli's life for the past couple of months, and she had also been Grace's best friend. Grace looked over at Eli, "I know."
"You're like the only one who does know," Eli said, looking up at her again. "You're like the only person who doesn't keep telling me it's not true." Eli's eyes danced from Grace's eyes, to her lips, to her dress, and then back to her eyes. "That's a pretty dress."
Grace looked back at his eyes, and then her gaze fell to his soft lips. She felt herself leaning in, and he was leaning in too... they were going to kiss.
Grace's bedroom door opened, and Jessie stood there. Grace looked up in surprise, and moved quickly away from Eli. Together she and Eli snapped, "WHAT?!"
Jessie looked at the two of them, startled. "They called off the wedding." Jessie stepped out of the room, and began to shut the door, but then looked back at the two of them and left it open.
Eli and Grace sat in stunned silence as Jessie's footsteps sounded down the stairs. Finally Eli stood up, handing Grace Carla's letter. "Take it," He said, not looking at her.
"You can keep it," Grace said numbly.
"I don't want it," Eli said fiercely. He shoved the letter at her, and Grace reluctantly took it. She looked up, and their eyes met. Grace looked deep into his eyes, wondering if she imagined that, or if he was really about to kiss her before Jessie interrupted.
Eli stared at her back, noticing her pretty dress... and her pretty self. Her hair was pulled back in loose cornrows on the top and the bottom part hung loose. It was an attractive style on her. "It looks like we're not going to be stepbrother and stepsister today..." Eli said softly.
Grace nodded, dropping her gaze from his eyes. Her thoughts pained her as he began to move to the door. "I could give you her address."
"Hmm?" Eli asked.
"Carla's address... I could give it to you, and you could write her," Grace offered, even though it was the exact opposite of what she wanted to do. She just wanted to forget Carla had ever come into their lives, and somehow find a way for her and Eli to... be more.
Eli shook his head softly. He looked at the ground and then back at Grace. Grace noticed the hurt look he had had when she had first entered her room was gone, and now just a wondering look stayed. "I don't think I want it," Eli said, and even managed a puzzled smile, not sure why he felt this change. He moved forward, closer to Grace.
Grace looked up at him.
"Grace, you've been a really good friend..." Eli said, looking intently at her. "Through all of this... You're amazing."
Grace shook her head, "I'm not."
"You are," Eli took a deep breath. "I guess we should get down there..."
Grace nodded, fighting her urges to ask about the earlier almost- kiss. This just wasn't the right time. She would just pretend it hadn't happen, since that seemed to be what he was going to do. They walked downstairs.
[[[[....end of memory flashback]]]]
"Grace?" Jessie asked, drawing Grace back from her memories. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."
"Oh, no... I... we've---since the ... uh... I... it was last summer," Grace answered, as she wondered how much to say. Although ever since the wedding, there had been an undeniable attractive between them, they didn't really get together until the summer after her junior year. The summer after Mr. Dimitri.... "We officially got together last summer," She told Jessie.
"A year ago?" Jessie asked in surprise. "This has been going on for a year?"
"It was going on for a couple of months," Grace corrected. "It ended a while ago... but..."
Jessie nodded, sensing it was too pressing for Grace to go on. She looked down at Grace's hands which were unconsciously tightening their grip on each other. "Have you thought of any names for the baby?" Jessie asked, switching the topic.
"Names?" Grace asked in surprise. "No, I haven't given it any thought." Her body relaxed a little as they ventured off the topic of Eli. "I did set up an appointment with a doctor though for next week... so we'll know the due date."
Jessie smiled, "That'll be nice."
Grace nodded. She stood up. "I have something I have to do."
Jessie looked at her curiously, but just nodded. Grace left the living room.
* * *
Eli groaned and called out, "Come in."
Grace entered his garage apartment and closed the door behind her. "Hey."
Eli heard the anger in her tone. He silently awaited her words.
Grace moved forward, her fingers brushing his CD collection. She paused, looking at the titles with faked-interest, and then decided just to get out with it... "Do you really want to be a part of the baby's life?"
"Of course," Eli said, sounding hurt.
Grace closed her eyes briefly. When she opened them again, Eli had gotten off his bed and moved towards her. "Then.... we're going to have to tell them."
Eli's eyes widened and he shook his head vehemently. "Grace, we can't do THAT!"
"How else do you expect it to happen then? Don't you think they'd get suspicious when you're always with the baby?" Grace questioned.
"I'd just being a good step-uncle..." Eli said, the words tasting bitter.
"God!" Grace cried. She laughed harshly, "This is like an episode of Jerry Springer.... the step-uncle who's also the father, and who's still sleeping around on the mother, who's his step-sister!"
Eli's face tightened at her words, which were supposed to be a joke, but came out ringing true. "Grace, I'm not sleeping around on you..."
"Who was that girl?" Grace blurted out. "This morning, some girl left here with you!"
Eli sighed, "Yes... there was a girl, but I didn't sleep with her--- and even if I did, Grace, it wouldn't be cheating, because we're not a couple!"
"No, we're not," Grace agreed. The words hurt, even though she knew it. They hadn't been officially a couple for a few months now... and even when they were a couple, it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows. It had been tough.
"Okay, we're not a couple..." Eli repeated, "But you still want me to tell everyone I'm the father and that we WERE a couple? And have them all dig into our sorted past?"
"You don't have to do anything, Eli..." Grace said, frowning, "Forget I said it."
"Grace...." Eli said, pleadingly, but she left without looking back.
* * *