Author: Ta

Title: My Daddy Says…

Rating: G

Summary: Two five-year-olds, one sandbox, one eternal argument…

Disclaimer: Don't own any of the actual characters named however Jessy and Colm are my own creations.

Author's notes: This is something I'm definitely going to turn into a sequel. Just a few slices of life from your average all-American Vampire/Slayer family as seen through the eyes of their five-year-old son. I'm sorry this is so short, more reviews will make a sequel appear faster lol.

"Is your daddy taking you to the park this weekend? Mine is."

"My daddy can't play in the sun," Colm informed his friend Jessy.

"That's 'cause your dad's a sissy," Jessy retorted.

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Not!"

"Too!"

"NOT!"

"TOO!"

"Boys," their teacher called warningly from her position on the nearby park bench. "Play nicely."

"My dad could kick your dad's butt."

"Could not."

"Could too."

"Ah-hah."

"Nuh-uh. My dad's a fireman," Jessy declared proudly. "He's real big and real strong."

"Well my dad's s private investigator," Colm shot back, pronouncing the difficult title carefully.

"What's that?" Jessy asked, momentarily interested.

"It means he helps the helpless," Colm informed him, puffing out his chest and giving his friend a lofty look.

"Oh," Jessy replied. "Is that why he had all that stuff at your house?"

"What stuff?"

"All those swords and stuff…?"

"Oh, you mean all daddy's stuff that we're not allowed to touch? Yeah. He uses those to fight monsters."

"Monsters aren't real, my daddy says so."

"My daddy says that anyone who ignores that monsters are real is a…" he paused as he tried to recall exactly what his father had said. "A foolhardy idiot."

"My dad's not an idiot!"

"Is too," Colm stated smugly. "My mommy and daddy both know all about monsters 'cause my mommy used to be a slayer."

Jessy knew better than to argue back, rather he fumbled in his backpack for his packed lunch and drew out a pungently scented sandwich.

"Want some?" he offered his friend.

"What's in it?"

"Garlic chicken."

"Not allowed garlic, my daddy isn't allowed it near him."

"My daddy can eat whatever he wants," Jessy stated smugly.

"My dad doesn't eat much."

"Doesn't your mommy yell at him?"

"Nah, she doesn't mind."

"My daddy says you have to eat lots if you want to grow big and strong… your dad must be real small and skinny if he doesn't eat."

"He is not," Colm rounded on his friend. "No one in the hotel is bigger than my daddy, well, except Uncle Gunn but he's bigger than Uncle Spike, Uncle Wesley and Uncle Xander. Uncle Spike says that back in the olden days my daddy was a bad-ass vampire but now mommy's de-fanged him."

"You said a dirty word!" Jessy squealed, clapping his hand over his mouth and widening his eyes in shock. "And no way is your daddy a vampire! Vampires aren't real."

"My daddy's real, isn't he?"

"I'll tell your mom you were telling lies!"

"I'm not. My daddy's a vampire, that's why he sleeps all day, can't play in the sun and why he never eats much."

"He must drink blood… euwwww," Jessy began to chant in a singsong voice. "Colm's dad's a weirdo, Colm's dad's a weirdo."

"He is not!" the hotheaded little boy yelled back, stamping his foot. "Being a vampire's cool, daddy looks the same all the time and he can make his face look really cool."

Jessy seemed to consider this for a second before shrugging and finishing off his sandwich.

"Miami Dolphins are better than the New York Jets."

"Are not," Colm growled back.

"Are too!"

"Not!"

"Too!"

"Well, my daddy says…"