Title: My Daddy Says… Playtime!

Author: Taz

Summary: Colm has a friend over for dinner… would he be so cruel as to threaten the poor child with tales of vampires? You betcha!

A/N: This actually comes after the next chapter I intended to put up but I'm having problems with my home computer so bear with me.

Rating: G I guess. Enjoy!

"Colm would love to have Jessy over to play," Buffy informed the middle-aged brunette that she assumed was Jessy's mother.

"No I wouldn't," Colm put in quickly, glancing fearfully at his mother to check she was being serious.

"Of course you would sweetheart," Buffy bestowed a threatening glare upon him as she turned back to look at him.

"But-"

"So you can bring him over any time before dinner, or we could take him now if you'd like?"

Colm swallowed nervously. His mother frequently got it into her head that he should have more friends from school and so forced these little 'playtimes' upon him. He usually took them with good grace although he didn't understand what was wrong with hanging around with just Nicky and Jakob, Faith's son. But Jessy? Surely his mother wasn't that simple.

"Jessy?" the woman turned to her son, he grunted and looked up. "Would you like to go to Colm's house now?"

The blonde boy shrugged and flicked his floppy hair back from his brow in that nancified way that made Colm want to hit him with his dad's battleaxe.

"Okay, I'll see you tonight honey, be good."

And with that Colm's fate was sealed for the evening. Buffy loaded them both into the car and glanced back, a smile passing across her face at the sight of the two sweet-looking little boys. Colm didn't say a word the whole drive home, he was too busy wondering how he would ever get his Uncle Spike to stop teasing him that he had poofy friends or how to convince his dad to prove to Jessy that vampires were real.

Once they arrived back to the hotel, Buffy set them both off doing their homework, once again she smiled at the sight, both heads bent over books, the dark and the fair. It was a good thing she didn't listen too closely to exactly what the dark said to the fair or she may have had a few choice words to say herself.

"My Uncle Spike's gonna think you're a poof."

"What's a poof?"

"Don't know exactly, but it's something that Uncle Spike only says when he thinks someone's dumb."

"I'm not dumb."

"You are too. You said vampires weren't real well I'm gonna tell my daddy and Uncle Spike and they'll eat you for dinner."

"Your daddy's not scary," Jessy said doubtfully. "I think you're lying Colm O'Connor."

"Think what you want," Colm shot the little boy an evil grin, it was times like this when it became apparent that vampiric, both souled and… otherwise, had been passed on to Colm from the once-Scourge of Europe.

"Who's your Uncle Spike?" Jessy asked, eager to change the subject.

"Oh, you'll see, him and daddy should be waking up pretty soon."

"They sleep all day? My daddy says only lazy people who don't work sleep during the day."

"Jessy ya moron I've already told you; no one cares what your dumb dad says, okay?"

"Loser," Jessy muttered under his breath.

"Who's a loser?" boomed a loud British voice from the stairwell.

"Uncle Spike!" Com hurled himself at the blonde's legs.

"Gerroff me Nibblet," Spike grumbled, patting the dark head, that reached somewhere close to his hip, affectionately. "And who's this?"

Jessy seemed to shrink back into the chair he was sitting on as he squirmed away from the icy blue stare being bestowed upon him.

"That's Jessy," Colm informed Spike with a roll of his eyes hat conveyed his contempt for the youngster his mother had forced him into entertaining.

Spike smiled, a slow, cruel twist of his mouth as he gazed thoughtfully at the sandy-haired boy currently cowering in Angel's four hundred dollar, antique oak chair. As Colm looked over towards the kitchen Spike locked eyes with the clearly terrified child and flashed his game face. It only lasted the briefest of moments and as Jessy stared fearfully at the placidly human features of William the Bloody he couldn't be certain if he'd seen it. But for a second Colm's Uncle had looked awfully weird.

Maybe he was a vampire.

Colm dropped back into his seat and continued to work on his homework, studiously ignoring Jessy's attempts to start a conversation as he concentrated on his math work. Buffy soon appeared bearing cartons of chocolate milk and a plate of cookies for them to snack on and it was during this permitted break that Jessy one again broached the subject of vampires.

"So, does your daddy sleep in a coffin?"

"No," Colm stated, confused. "He sleeps in a bed with my mommy."

"Yeah well my daddy-" Jessy bit off the sentence as Colm shot him a look that suggested he would be without legs if he finished it. "Vampires sleep in coffins," he stated matter-of-factly.

"That a fact?" Colm returned lazily. "And you've met how many…?"

"None. I just know."

"Really? I just happen to live with two and I think maybe my opinion might be right," Colm shot back, calling on every ounce of pompous British-ness he had learnt from living around Wesley and occasional visits from his much loved Uncle Giles.

"Well… maybe," Jessy looked uneasily towards the kitchen where Spike had disappeared.

"Dinnertime boys," Buffy called into the dining room. "I hope you didn't fill up on cookies."

"No mom," Colm sighed, rolling his eyes and clearing the books off the table. "Mom, when will daddy be home?"

"He is home sweetheart, he's upstairs in bed, want to go and wake him?"

"Yeah sure, come on Sissy… uh I mean Jessy," he amended hurriedly when he saw his mother's icy glare.

"See if you can tempt Connor out his lair while you're there," she called after them.

"Who's Connor?" Jessy asked in a fearful whisper, wondering just what would be lurking in O'Connor household that would require a lair.

"Connor?" Colm looked at his friend with a look of horror and fear on his face as they crept down the upstairs corridor. "Oh he came from a Hell dimension…"

Colm was a brilliant little actor when he put his mind to it and right now he was playing up to it as much as he could, taking advantage of the creepy-looking surroundings, the old oil paintings on the walls lit by flickering lamps, the hallway made to seem small and dingy by the heavy dark oak panelling on the walls and the dark red carpet on the floor.

"He did? Colm O'Connor are you lying to me?"

"Nope, my daddy called him back by painting a star on the floor and saying a spell out of one of the big books he has that I'm not allowed to touch.  Connor came through a big hole in the ceiling-"

"Like my great Uncle Mike when he stood on a rotted floorboard?"

"No, a magic hole dummy," he replied, more than a little peeved at having his moment stolen. "Anyway he came through and tried to kill my daddy but he didn't manage it and then he started living here but he never comes out of this one room…"

"Is he a m-m-monster?" Jessy stammered as they stopped outside a dark oak door, heavy thumping sounds coming from within mixed with guttural screams and shouts.

"No," Colm looked at Jessy like he was stupid as he flung open the door to reveal a room plastered with heavy metal posters and a huge stereo, currently blasting out Slipknot. "He's my big brother!"

"Colm how many times have I told you to stay the hell out of my room?!"

"Mom says you have to come down for dinner," Colm offered, smiling up sunnily at the big, burly youth.

"What're we having?" he asked suspiciously.

"Meatloaf I think…"

"Hmm, I guess I'll come down," he replied, stuffing the last of a Big Mac into his mouth before ushering the two boys out of his room and shutting the door. "You going to get him?"

The question was asked with a jerk of the head in the direction of Colm's parents' room and the youngster nodded before heading down towards the end of the hallway, Jessy cowering in his shadow.

"Colm?" Connor called, a smile in his voice. "You and your boyfriend should be careful, he was in one helluva nasty mood earlier… said something about eating the next five-year-old that disturbed him…"

Jessy whispered in Colm's ear fearfully.

"Wanna hold hands?"

"NO!" Colm yelped, crossing his arms in front of him and tucking his hands firmly into his armpits so the other boy could get no ideas. "And he's not my boyfriend you dweeb," he hollered after Connor who had strolled away, hands deeply in pockets, laughing to himself.

Colm knocked loudly on the final oak door and waited patiently until a deep, sleepy and growly voice rasped from the other side.

"Yes?"

"Dad? It's me, mommy says you have to come down for dinner, okay?"

"No problem, Colm, tell your mom I'll be down in a minute."

"Kay."