~A Once and Again Series~
Where Do We Go From Here?
Chapter 22//Need to Explain
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*
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Grace pulled a stack of plates down from the cabinet shelf, and then stopped as she noticed a note on the counter.
Grace,
I need to talk to you. It's important. Call me when you get in.
-Dad
"Grace?" Lily called from the dining room.
Grace set the note from her father back down on the counter. Whatever it was it, would have to wait till after dinner... and till after she and Eli told Lily about them. Why they had decided to do it at dinner was beyond her... especially considering all the sharp utensils that would be lying around.
Grace sighed. She turned and headed back into the dining room, quickly setting the table. Jessie was at her mom's, and Zoe had gone to a friend's... so it was just Grace, Eli, Lily, and Rick.
Lily smiled at Grace, and they all sat down. It was quiet for a few minutes as they ate... but it wasn't just the usual 'no talking because I'm too busy eating' quiet. Grace was barely even touching her food. She was wondering how and when to bring it up. Should she just say it now and get it over with? Or should she wait until dinner was over?
Grace sighed softly, and glanced over at Eli next to her. Eli looked just as nervous. Grace let her hand slip to her side and she reached over, under the table, finding Eli's hand. Their fingers interlocked, bringing a bit of comfort... at least they were in this together.
"So?" Lily said, breaking the quiet. Grace snatched her hand quickly away from Eli's, startled. She tucked her hair behind her ear, staring at her mother.
Lily smiled over at Eli, "So have you decided when you're going to introduce your girlfriend to us?"
Eli swallowed nervously, sneaking a glance at Grace. Grace looked back at him.
Rick looked at the both of them, wondering if they were going to tell Lily now...
Lily looked at Eli, waiting for his answer.
Eli took a long sip of his ice water. The room became quiet again. Grace could hear the loud ticking of the grandfather clock.
Tick-tick-tick-tick.
"Eli?" Lily said, when her question went unanswered, "Have you changed your mind?"
Tick-tick-tick-tick.
Grace dropped her fork. It clattered loudly on the glass plate. Eli jumped a bit at the noise, and looked at Grace. Then back at Lily... "Uh, I..." His words faded into silence.
Tick-tick-tick-tick.
"OKAY!" Grace burst out. She closed her eyes briefly and took a deep breath. "Mom, there's something I need to explain..."
Lily waited.
* * *
[[[[Start of Memory flashback...]]]]
"Let me explain..."
"Save it, Eli," Grace spat out, "I don't want to hear it."
"Grace," Eli complained. He had lucked out today and found that he and Grace were the only ones home... He hadn't had a chance to talk to her (really talk) since she had told him she knew about him and Deanna. Grace had been wise to never end up in a room alone with him. Eli had resorted to calling the house, and disguising his voice and asking for Grace. But even then, Grace had hung up on him, refusing to talk.
If Eli could just explain....
"Grace, please!" Eli said.
Grace rolled her eyes, and promptly got up from the couch, hurrying up the stairs, where she could escape into her room and shut the door on Eli's pleas. Eli hurried fast after her, taking the steps two at a time.
Grace rushed into her room, and swung around to slam the door, but Eli was right behind her.
"LEAVE ME ALONE!" Grace cried, her face a contortion of anger.
"NO!" Eli cried, just as angrily. Grace had to hear him out. She had to let him try to explain. The past few weeks had been horrible... he couldn't sleep, he couldn't eat... he could only think of her, and his stupid mistake.
Grace tried to close the door on him. Eli stuck his foot in the doorframe and Grace gave up, backing into the room.
"I love you, Grace," Eli said.
Grace's shoulders trembled, but she wouldn't turn around to look at him. "If you love me, you'll leave me alone..." She whispered, her voice choked with tears.
"I can't," Eli said, sighing. His shoulders slumped, and he stared at her back. "I'm so sorry, Grace. I never, ever, meant to ever do anything like that..."
"But you did," Grace said. She threw a glance over her shoulder. "And you can't take it back."
She looked away again. Eli felt his heart tightening as he stood there looking at the girl he loved... the girl who now hated him. "I was drunk, Grace. I only meant to crash on her floor or something, but... I was out of it. We both were."
Grace didn't even bother to response to his lame excuses.
"Grace," Eli said, his heart breaking.
Grace turned, startled by something in the sound of his words... she looked, and yes... he was crying. Lines of tears similar to her own trailed down his face. Eli didn't even seem to notice. Grace wiped blankly at her own tears, ashamed she had fallen into crying over HIM. He didn't deserve her tears.
"I love you," Eli said once again. "I never meant to hurt you."
Grace cringed. She looked at his watery red eyes... She adverted her eyes, studying the floor. "Get out," She whispered. "Leave me alone."
Eli shook his head fiercely. "I can't."
Grace moved to her dresser, taking out the tee shirt of Eli's he had given her a few months back. She had liked to sleep in it... But... "Take it," Grace shoved it at him.
Eli refused to clamp his fingers around it. It fell to the floor at his feet.
Grace looked around the room for anything else of his.
"Jake fired Deanna," Eli said. Grace didn't care. She went to her bed, taking the long-eared fluffy bunny rabbit he had given her. She threw it at him. It bounced off his chest, landing on the floor next to the shirt.
"We'll probably never see her again," Eli said. His eyes had dried up now, but there was still a tell-tale sign of wetness on his cheeks.
Grace groaned under her breath. She looked around her room, feeling a bit sad to realize that those two things were the only souvenirs of their relationship. There was no pictures, no lovey-dovey love notes... no, they couldn't have had any of that... unless they had wanted to tune everyone into their secret relationship. Grace looked back at Eli, who stood so still. "We were stupid..." She said.
"I was stupid," Eli corrected. He finally moved, taking one step closer to her.
"No," Grace shook her head, chuckling with no happiness. "We should have never got involved, Eli."
"Don't say that," Eli said painfully.
But Grace continued, "We're step-brother and step-sister, Eli! We were stupid to think that that didn't matter!"
"But it doesn't!" Eli insisted.
Grace sighed, "You know how hard it is to know that no matter what you'll always HAVE to be a part of my life? Do you know how hard it is to see you over the breakfast table, and have to go on like everything is A- okay?"
"I do!" Eli cried, taking one more step towards her. That left four feet between them. "Grace, I feel the same way... but I want to change that... I want us to go back to the way we were!"
Grace shook her head. She looked lingeringly into his eyes, "And I just want to never see you again."
"You don't mean that," Eli said hopefully, "Grace... you love me."
Grace's lips trembled, "Eli..."
"You love me," Eli said again... almost pleadingly.
Grace shook her head, "I can't. Eli, don't you see? I just can't love you anymore!"
This wasn't what Eli had wanted to hear. "Grace, just give it time... you'll see..."
"No," Grace turned her head away, "I hate you. I don't love... I hate you!"
Eli crossed over the last remaining feet. He grabbed her shoulders, making her face him. "Grace..."
Tears were forming in her eyes again. "Eli, I don't know if I can EVER love you again. I think it's gone... for good."
Eli's heart thudded dully. How she can she say that? How could she say that there was no chance of her ever loving him again? Eli looked into her eyes, and she stared back at him.
They studied each other in silence. Eli's hands fell away from her shoulders. He sighed deeply. "You don't know."
"Don't know what?" Grace asked, blinking for the first time in minutes.
"You don't know... that you'll never love me again," Eli said. With that he turned and left the room, glancing back over his shoulder.
When he had left Grace went and closed her bedroom door. She picked up the bunny and tee shirt, and hating herself for doing so, she pressed them to her chest, hugging herself tightly. What's the saying... 'When one door closes another opens'... But had a door just been shut, or had one just been opened? Was this the end of a chapter in her life... or the beginning of a new one?
* * *
[[[[...end of memory flashback]]]]
* * *
Eli glanced at Grace, giving her encouragement.
"Mom, see... uh, Eli and I have something to tell you," Grace said finally.
Lily nodded, waiting for her to go on. She glanced over at Rick, and curiously saw that he wasn't as anxious as she was to hear what Grace had to say. Lily gave him a wondering look, and Rick glanced away, down at his plate. Lily began to feel uneasy. What did Grace have to tell her?
"Eli and I were... I mean... are dating. We're dating. Eli and me..." Grace stumbled out.
Lily shook her head, smiling. The smile faded as she looked on three serious faces.
"Mom, I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, but it..." Grace trailed off.
"We weren't sure how you would take it," Eli finished.
Grace gave him a tiny grateful smile.
Lily took a deep breath. "How long?" She asked, trying to get her thoughts in order.
"What?" Grace asked meekly.
"How long have you've been dating?" Lily expanded.
"Uh," Grace looked at Eli. Was there a correct answer to that question? They had started dating last year, but had broken up, and then got back together officially at the start of this summer. "For a while," Grace said finally.
Rick tried to put a hand on Lily's shoulder but she shrugged it off.
"And..." Grace said. Lily looked up, and Grace almost stopped her words, but she might as well get it all out there. "Eli's the father... of my baby... our baby."
Lily couldn't even look at Grace or Eli. "I... I think I need to lie down," Lily said, rising from the table, leaving her half-eaten dinner behind. Rick followed after her.
Grace watched her mother leave, her face crumbling. She choked on a sob. Eli enclosed her in his arms, whispering in her ear that it was okay. That Lily would come around.
* * *
"Did you know about this?" Lily demanded when Rick entered. She wasn't lying down... instead she was riding her exercise bike furiously, her legs pumping like mad.
"I... found out accidentally," Rick admitted, talking loud over the whirring of the bike.
"And you didn't tell me?!" Lily cried. Her eyes stared at him accusingly.
"I was asked not to..." Rick explained. "Grace wanted to tell you on her own."
Lily picked up her speed. She glared at her husband, "It would have been nice to get a warning!"
Rick waited until Lily's legs had tired out and she slunk off the seat, throwing her sweaty body down on the bed. And then he said, "There were warnings..."
Lily bolted up into a seating position. "What?"
"Lily, don't tell me you've been blind... you had to have noticed the way Eli was always staying here instead of at his mother's..."
"He and Karen don't get along," Lily interjected.
Rick continued, "The way he and Grace were always... together..."
"They're siblings!" Lily cried.
"The way they looked at each other?" Rick said, sighing. "You must have sensed something... you just didn't want to admit. I didn't either."
"But..." Lily said, the steam going out of her finally. She allowed Rick to wrap his arms around her. "They are stepbrother and stepsister," Lily said painfully. "They're supposed to... get along, but not DATE! They're supposed to... not be having babies together!"
Rick sighed, "I know. But they are..."
* * *
Where Do We Go From Here?
Chapter 22//Need to Explain
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*
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Grace pulled a stack of plates down from the cabinet shelf, and then stopped as she noticed a note on the counter.
Grace,
I need to talk to you. It's important. Call me when you get in.
-Dad
"Grace?" Lily called from the dining room.
Grace set the note from her father back down on the counter. Whatever it was it, would have to wait till after dinner... and till after she and Eli told Lily about them. Why they had decided to do it at dinner was beyond her... especially considering all the sharp utensils that would be lying around.
Grace sighed. She turned and headed back into the dining room, quickly setting the table. Jessie was at her mom's, and Zoe had gone to a friend's... so it was just Grace, Eli, Lily, and Rick.
Lily smiled at Grace, and they all sat down. It was quiet for a few minutes as they ate... but it wasn't just the usual 'no talking because I'm too busy eating' quiet. Grace was barely even touching her food. She was wondering how and when to bring it up. Should she just say it now and get it over with? Or should she wait until dinner was over?
Grace sighed softly, and glanced over at Eli next to her. Eli looked just as nervous. Grace let her hand slip to her side and she reached over, under the table, finding Eli's hand. Their fingers interlocked, bringing a bit of comfort... at least they were in this together.
"So?" Lily said, breaking the quiet. Grace snatched her hand quickly away from Eli's, startled. She tucked her hair behind her ear, staring at her mother.
Lily smiled over at Eli, "So have you decided when you're going to introduce your girlfriend to us?"
Eli swallowed nervously, sneaking a glance at Grace. Grace looked back at him.
Rick looked at the both of them, wondering if they were going to tell Lily now...
Lily looked at Eli, waiting for his answer.
Eli took a long sip of his ice water. The room became quiet again. Grace could hear the loud ticking of the grandfather clock.
Tick-tick-tick-tick.
"Eli?" Lily said, when her question went unanswered, "Have you changed your mind?"
Tick-tick-tick-tick.
Grace dropped her fork. It clattered loudly on the glass plate. Eli jumped a bit at the noise, and looked at Grace. Then back at Lily... "Uh, I..." His words faded into silence.
Tick-tick-tick-tick.
"OKAY!" Grace burst out. She closed her eyes briefly and took a deep breath. "Mom, there's something I need to explain..."
Lily waited.
* * *
[[[[Start of Memory flashback...]]]]
"Let me explain..."
"Save it, Eli," Grace spat out, "I don't want to hear it."
"Grace," Eli complained. He had lucked out today and found that he and Grace were the only ones home... He hadn't had a chance to talk to her (really talk) since she had told him she knew about him and Deanna. Grace had been wise to never end up in a room alone with him. Eli had resorted to calling the house, and disguising his voice and asking for Grace. But even then, Grace had hung up on him, refusing to talk.
If Eli could just explain....
"Grace, please!" Eli said.
Grace rolled her eyes, and promptly got up from the couch, hurrying up the stairs, where she could escape into her room and shut the door on Eli's pleas. Eli hurried fast after her, taking the steps two at a time.
Grace rushed into her room, and swung around to slam the door, but Eli was right behind her.
"LEAVE ME ALONE!" Grace cried, her face a contortion of anger.
"NO!" Eli cried, just as angrily. Grace had to hear him out. She had to let him try to explain. The past few weeks had been horrible... he couldn't sleep, he couldn't eat... he could only think of her, and his stupid mistake.
Grace tried to close the door on him. Eli stuck his foot in the doorframe and Grace gave up, backing into the room.
"I love you, Grace," Eli said.
Grace's shoulders trembled, but she wouldn't turn around to look at him. "If you love me, you'll leave me alone..." She whispered, her voice choked with tears.
"I can't," Eli said, sighing. His shoulders slumped, and he stared at her back. "I'm so sorry, Grace. I never, ever, meant to ever do anything like that..."
"But you did," Grace said. She threw a glance over her shoulder. "And you can't take it back."
She looked away again. Eli felt his heart tightening as he stood there looking at the girl he loved... the girl who now hated him. "I was drunk, Grace. I only meant to crash on her floor or something, but... I was out of it. We both were."
Grace didn't even bother to response to his lame excuses.
"Grace," Eli said, his heart breaking.
Grace turned, startled by something in the sound of his words... she looked, and yes... he was crying. Lines of tears similar to her own trailed down his face. Eli didn't even seem to notice. Grace wiped blankly at her own tears, ashamed she had fallen into crying over HIM. He didn't deserve her tears.
"I love you," Eli said once again. "I never meant to hurt you."
Grace cringed. She looked at his watery red eyes... She adverted her eyes, studying the floor. "Get out," She whispered. "Leave me alone."
Eli shook his head fiercely. "I can't."
Grace moved to her dresser, taking out the tee shirt of Eli's he had given her a few months back. She had liked to sleep in it... But... "Take it," Grace shoved it at him.
Eli refused to clamp his fingers around it. It fell to the floor at his feet.
Grace looked around the room for anything else of his.
"Jake fired Deanna," Eli said. Grace didn't care. She went to her bed, taking the long-eared fluffy bunny rabbit he had given her. She threw it at him. It bounced off his chest, landing on the floor next to the shirt.
"We'll probably never see her again," Eli said. His eyes had dried up now, but there was still a tell-tale sign of wetness on his cheeks.
Grace groaned under her breath. She looked around her room, feeling a bit sad to realize that those two things were the only souvenirs of their relationship. There was no pictures, no lovey-dovey love notes... no, they couldn't have had any of that... unless they had wanted to tune everyone into their secret relationship. Grace looked back at Eli, who stood so still. "We were stupid..." She said.
"I was stupid," Eli corrected. He finally moved, taking one step closer to her.
"No," Grace shook her head, chuckling with no happiness. "We should have never got involved, Eli."
"Don't say that," Eli said painfully.
But Grace continued, "We're step-brother and step-sister, Eli! We were stupid to think that that didn't matter!"
"But it doesn't!" Eli insisted.
Grace sighed, "You know how hard it is to know that no matter what you'll always HAVE to be a part of my life? Do you know how hard it is to see you over the breakfast table, and have to go on like everything is A- okay?"
"I do!" Eli cried, taking one more step towards her. That left four feet between them. "Grace, I feel the same way... but I want to change that... I want us to go back to the way we were!"
Grace shook her head. She looked lingeringly into his eyes, "And I just want to never see you again."
"You don't mean that," Eli said hopefully, "Grace... you love me."
Grace's lips trembled, "Eli..."
"You love me," Eli said again... almost pleadingly.
Grace shook her head, "I can't. Eli, don't you see? I just can't love you anymore!"
This wasn't what Eli had wanted to hear. "Grace, just give it time... you'll see..."
"No," Grace turned her head away, "I hate you. I don't love... I hate you!"
Eli crossed over the last remaining feet. He grabbed her shoulders, making her face him. "Grace..."
Tears were forming in her eyes again. "Eli, I don't know if I can EVER love you again. I think it's gone... for good."
Eli's heart thudded dully. How she can she say that? How could she say that there was no chance of her ever loving him again? Eli looked into her eyes, and she stared back at him.
They studied each other in silence. Eli's hands fell away from her shoulders. He sighed deeply. "You don't know."
"Don't know what?" Grace asked, blinking for the first time in minutes.
"You don't know... that you'll never love me again," Eli said. With that he turned and left the room, glancing back over his shoulder.
When he had left Grace went and closed her bedroom door. She picked up the bunny and tee shirt, and hating herself for doing so, she pressed them to her chest, hugging herself tightly. What's the saying... 'When one door closes another opens'... But had a door just been shut, or had one just been opened? Was this the end of a chapter in her life... or the beginning of a new one?
* * *
[[[[...end of memory flashback]]]]
* * *
Eli glanced at Grace, giving her encouragement.
"Mom, see... uh, Eli and I have something to tell you," Grace said finally.
Lily nodded, waiting for her to go on. She glanced over at Rick, and curiously saw that he wasn't as anxious as she was to hear what Grace had to say. Lily gave him a wondering look, and Rick glanced away, down at his plate. Lily began to feel uneasy. What did Grace have to tell her?
"Eli and I were... I mean... are dating. We're dating. Eli and me..." Grace stumbled out.
Lily shook her head, smiling. The smile faded as she looked on three serious faces.
"Mom, I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, but it..." Grace trailed off.
"We weren't sure how you would take it," Eli finished.
Grace gave him a tiny grateful smile.
Lily took a deep breath. "How long?" She asked, trying to get her thoughts in order.
"What?" Grace asked meekly.
"How long have you've been dating?" Lily expanded.
"Uh," Grace looked at Eli. Was there a correct answer to that question? They had started dating last year, but had broken up, and then got back together officially at the start of this summer. "For a while," Grace said finally.
Rick tried to put a hand on Lily's shoulder but she shrugged it off.
"And..." Grace said. Lily looked up, and Grace almost stopped her words, but she might as well get it all out there. "Eli's the father... of my baby... our baby."
Lily couldn't even look at Grace or Eli. "I... I think I need to lie down," Lily said, rising from the table, leaving her half-eaten dinner behind. Rick followed after her.
Grace watched her mother leave, her face crumbling. She choked on a sob. Eli enclosed her in his arms, whispering in her ear that it was okay. That Lily would come around.
* * *
"Did you know about this?" Lily demanded when Rick entered. She wasn't lying down... instead she was riding her exercise bike furiously, her legs pumping like mad.
"I... found out accidentally," Rick admitted, talking loud over the whirring of the bike.
"And you didn't tell me?!" Lily cried. Her eyes stared at him accusingly.
"I was asked not to..." Rick explained. "Grace wanted to tell you on her own."
Lily picked up her speed. She glared at her husband, "It would have been nice to get a warning!"
Rick waited until Lily's legs had tired out and she slunk off the seat, throwing her sweaty body down on the bed. And then he said, "There were warnings..."
Lily bolted up into a seating position. "What?"
"Lily, don't tell me you've been blind... you had to have noticed the way Eli was always staying here instead of at his mother's..."
"He and Karen don't get along," Lily interjected.
Rick continued, "The way he and Grace were always... together..."
"They're siblings!" Lily cried.
"The way they looked at each other?" Rick said, sighing. "You must have sensed something... you just didn't want to admit. I didn't either."
"But..." Lily said, the steam going out of her finally. She allowed Rick to wrap his arms around her. "They are stepbrother and stepsister," Lily said painfully. "They're supposed to... get along, but not DATE! They're supposed to... not be having babies together!"
Rick sighed, "I know. But they are..."
* * *