16.12.02
Dear Diary
I can't believe it's almost Christmas, not that there is anything to look forward to.
Yesterday Draco came over to me saying he had something important to tell me as the fool I'm suppose to be I of course had to leave my friend Hermione (damn never thought I'd ever write that but it's actually true) in the library where she was helping me with the transfiguration homework.
I knew what Draco wanted, I know what he always wants when he comes over to me like that, a fast shag of coarse and who am I to say no?
I'm Pansy Parkinson, Draco Malfoy's little slut, just like my mom was Lucius's she never told me, though I figured that out on my own, it was only later on she hocked up with my dad, not that that was any better.
Draco tok me out of the library and into a secret passage he had *showed* me some times before and he started his usual business, I knew I had to pretend to like it, I always have to but now I really didn't care what happened if I didn't.
When I came back to the library Hermione was sitting together with Ron and Harry, it's kinda wired, they have actually learnt to accept me.
I dumped down in the seat next to Hermione she gave me that kind of look, you know the one saying *why did you let him do that?* I just shrugged, even though she knew about how it was with Draco and me she would never really understand it, hell I didn't really understand it my self.
So I just kept quiet for the rest of the time in the libraray.
I don't know why I'm telling you this, maybe because I'm so sick and tired of Draco, I used to like, well actually love, him in the beginning but then I came to realise that he didn't love me and I gave up that dream.
I don't know what I'll do the next time he askes me to *talk* to him again may be I'll let him have me, just sell him my soul…..
Wait you know what screw that, I'm better than that, the next time I'll fight and who knows I might even live to tell about it.
Good night and lotsa love
Pansy
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