To all platypus enthusiasts I apologize I humbly support the noble platypus and its warped lifestyle
INSERT STANDARD DISCLAIMER
This fic is set 7 years after EOE all of the children are 21
GENDO'S HAPPY BAKE OVEN
It was a quiet day in Tokyo 3 everyone had little or nothing to do since the angels where now dead, that was until Gendo called every one to their battle stations. He was sitting high above everyone else in his chair over looking the command deck "Who took it!" he said in an eerily calm voice
Ritsuko looked up at the commander "Who took what?" she asked in hopes of an explanation
Gendo's head turned to her "So you admit it do you, I knew you were out to get me but why would you do something like this, is nothing sacred anymore"
"Um Gendo you have to tell them what happened before you go off blaming someone and have them killed" the second commander put in.
"Oh is that so, I guess your in on it too are you well I'll teach you, I'll teach you all not to mess with me I will slaughter you all like a wolf among lambs, THE SEA WILL RUN RED WITH THE BLOOD OF MY ENEMIES!!" he roared
Kozo walked up to the first commander and slapped him repeatedly with Penpen the penguin "pull yourself together man"
"Sorry" he grunted "the reason I called you here his because someone has stolen something very important to me, my happy bake oven the only source of joy in my life since Yui died" he paused for a minute and than continued "anyhow my happy bake oven can cook muffins cupcakes and pies using only a forty watt light bulb. It comes with pre packaged ingredients that have to be mixed properly before cooking but the secret ingredient is love…damn it "
Everyone in the geo-front fell over laughing at their commander's stupidity, after recovering Misato looked up at the commander and wiping some tears away asked, "so what do you want us to do about it"
"I'm sending you all out to find it," he said smirking evilly
**
~Meanwhile~
Shinji was sitting in his home with is wife (that's right he's married and nope it ain't to Asuka but to the blue haired babe Rei, don't worry Asuka's in it to) "Shinji isn't it time for you to be going to work you know how much your secretary hates it when your late"
Shinji drained the rest of his coffee and said, "Yeah she's such a bitch" and with that he got up and headed out the door, got in his car and headed for an undisclosed location.
When he arrived in his car park his read headed secretary ran out and dragged him into his office by his hair screaming. It sounded to him she was upset about his being late and what was expected of him since he was the boss "just because the boss doesn't have to show up till later in the morning doesn't mean that you can come at 1 o'clock in the after noon your expected to be here on time you know" she yelled
"Damn just give me a break we're the only ones working today anyway, its Sunday remember Asuka," he grumbled
She looked at him for a few seconds than preceded to slap him silly.
~~~~~~
~Geo-front~
Fuyutski was standing beside his hysterical friend who was rocking back and forth in his chair crying like a baby "oh stop your bitching man, its just an oven after all"
Gendo looked up at his friend and said in a voice filled with rage, "You can speak ill of me and my family all you want, but I swear to god if you ever speak ill of my happy bake oven again I WILL kill you"
Kozo snickered at his boss for a few minutes before picking up his mobile phone and dialing a number. "Send him in" he said when the other end picked up.
Within 15 seconds after giving the order a short fat balding man wearing a star trek uniform named Melvin who collects stamps walked in, the commander looked up and asked, "Who's he?"
"It doesn't matter he's only an extra" came the second commander's reply. He gave the short bald guy a nod and said, "Commence operation annoying little fat man"
"Yes sir" he said before running up to Gendo and spinning him around as fast as he could on his chair before stopping it and kicking the back of the seat making him fall out and singing "Gendo is an old bastard who likes to fuck turtles and lick his own armpits and than drink out of the toilet" he said poking his tongue out "you stupid horse fucker you have sex with dead people and like to sniff donkeys ass's, seeing that this wasn't working he started on his son "and your son is a sick son of a bitch who has an incest filled life because he's married to what could possible be his half sister, and he eats those blue urinal cakes"
"You've gotta try harder than that" Kozo snorted
"Hhhm I know…Last night I stole your happy bake oven and made love to it than I burnt it and pissed on its ashes hahahahahahaha…." His victorious laugh was cut short when a giant piano fell on him through an open hole in the ceiling that was operated by remote; it was now Gendo who was laughing evilly
I guess he was serious he thought, "Um sir you do realize that you can get in a lot of trouble for that don't you?"
"No I cant he was an extra, remember"
"Oh yeah" he said before laughing as well
**
~Meanwhile~
Back at Shinji's office Shinji was talking to someone on the phone "So the plan is going according to plan… yes I know … so operation annoying little fat man was a success, excellent continue on with the original plan"
"What plan I didn't know of any plan?" Asuka asked as she sorted through a bunch of files
"The plan I came up with to get revenge on my father for being such an asshole, and fucking everyone in the Akagi family" he said cracking his knuckles and leaning back in his seat
"Wow, that's pretty evil of you, ya know," She said. "I guess you're not such a spineless pussy after all"
He looked up at her and smiled "That's only part of it, You have know idea how powerful I am, did you know I have a secret underground base that's even bigger than the geo-front"
"No you don't," She said disbelievingly
"No, it's true I'm also the boss and unknown owner of Seele"
"If you're the boss, but your also unknown how do you tell them what to do?"
"Easily haven't you heard of voice modification and voice only transmission, I've been doing it for ages"
"Since when?"
"Since I was 15" he said with a cocky smile
"Well than if your father works for you than why don't you just fire him?"
Shinji rolled his eyes and said "I already told you because I'm trying to drive him insane, everything I do is for a reason"
"Well what's the reason for sleeping with me when you're married to Wonderbitch" She purred sexily
Shinji gave her a look that said do you really have to ask than answered, "Because she's lousy in the sack"
~The next day~
Rei walked into Shinji's office looking for him as he hadn't been home all night and found him asleep on his desk naked with Asuka beside him "SHINJI HOW DARE YOU SLEEP WITH HER" she screamed
Shinji woke up with a start and looked to see who found out about his affair "oh its you Rei, don't look so surprised, everyone knows your no good in bed, and hell when I've got one Hot mother fucking secretary what the hell do you expect"
She looked at him for a few minutes with tears in her eyes before deciding "I know I'll prove to you how good In bed I really am" She said before kicking Asuka out of the office and having wild hot mad sex with Shinji for the next 6 hours
**Meanwhile**
"I want you to use every available resource we have to find my happy bake oven, and the person who finds it gets a gold star" Gendo said as he watched everyone stare up at him holding back their laughter
"Um excuse me sir I'm the new recruit for the nerv central dogma team" came a voice from the doorway everyone looked and saw Touji standing there "what am I supposed to do?"
"Find my happy bake oven, I don't care if you die trying just get me my happy bake oven," he said with an evil cackle
Oooooook Shinji's dad has gone insane he thought as he sat down at his computer terminal and saw Kensuke next to him "hey Kensuke how long have you been working here?" he asked
"About 3 months"
"And how long has Shinji's dad been insane for?"
"Since last night, when someone stole his happy bake oven"
"Damn that's just fricken weird"
~Back at Shinji's office~
"So Shinji how was it?" Rei asked as he lay back on her husband's king-sized desk
Shinji turned his head to face her "it was good, but not as good as it is with Asuka"
"DAMN, THAT'S IT ASUUKA GET IN HERE NOOOW!!!!!" Rei bellowed
Asuka walked in the room to see what was wrong "what is it now?" she asked slightly scared of the blue haired women
"You me and Shinji are all going to have sex together, so I can see what you do that makes it so good for him"
Shinji sat up straight "SWEET ITS THREESOME TIME" he yelled in excitement and watched as Rei ripped Asuka's clothes off
*2 hours later*
Rei and Asuka were exhausted and laying on the floor and Shinji who had been having sex all night and for the past 8 hours looked like he was in a coma "Well Shinji… how… was it?" Rei puffed out
"S…sex… excellent…………… must sl... Sleep" the body mumbled before passing out
Rei turned her head towards Asuka "You know Asuka your pretty good in bed, I guess that's what Shinji likes"
"Right, whatever" She said before getting up and walking out of Shinji's office to the front room where everyone else worked. When she left the room she noticed that there were 20 people looking at her and the office and a thought flashed through her mind CRAP ITS MONDAY she checked a clock it was 10:30 am. She also noticed that she was naked and ran back into Shinji's office.
"Excuse me Asuka but I think that Shinji may be dead" Rei said worriedly
She shot her head towards her boss "are you dense of course he's not dead he's jut really tired"
"Why would he be really tired?"
"Well he has been having sex for the past 18 hours of course he's tired"
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THAT'S IT FOR THIS CHAPTER BUT DON'T WORRY THERES MORE COMING AND POSIBLY SOON SO IF YOU LIKED IT CHECK IN NEXT TIME FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER
Peace out and live large god knows I do