GENDO'S HAPPY BAKE OVEN
Gendo walked into central dogma "I want a status report"
"Nothing yet sir" Kensuke answered, "but if I find it you'll be the first to know" retard he said as he sat at his station trying to look like he was working, but was really playing space invaders on his computer
Maya who was sitting on Kensuke's right was looking over his shoulder as he went for the high score and thinking this kid has really got to get a life staying here and playing space invaders all day cant be good
Touji was lying on the floor in front of his computer thinking there has got to be some way of ditching work
"Well than if anyone needs me… tough I'm gonna go take my 'afternoon nap,' " he said before heading off to his office
~~~~~~~
~Shinji's office~
Shinji woke up from his deep slumber and looked around the room the lights were off but he could still make out a sleeping figure on the ground near him. He got up and walked over to the figure he noticed that it was Rei; he bent down beside her and shook her awake "Rei, Rei wake up"
She opened her eyes, looked up at him and said "Shinji, I'm afraid I have some bad news for you"
"Really what is it"?
She nodded and said, "Its over we're getting a divorce"
"How come" he asked not sounding too disappointed
"Well I have come to terms with myself and I am a lesbian"
"HUH?" he was shocked stiff "w…what do ya mean?"
"Well in that sexual encounter I found Asuka far more attractive than I ever found you" She got up and walked out of the room
Shinji watched as his wife of 2 years got up and left his office butt naked "hhhm o well doesn't matter I've still got Asuka…. Wait but what if she goes lesbian too, well lucky I always got a backup supply" he pulled out his black address book and looked down the list for his new women well lets see who we got here… there's Maya, Mana, Hikari, Izumi, Megumi and Ryoko "I'll decide later I got stuff to do now" he got up and headed out the door
~Mean while~
Touji was in the nerv cafeteria with Kensuke and they were talking about the usual crap "yeah see look its brown" Kensuke said
"Well than how come mines green?" Touji said pointing to the bowl on his lunch tray "damn cafeteria food cant they serve anything good" (what did u think I was talking about something different? I pity tha fool who has such a sick mind)
Touji continued down the line "is that supposed to be ramen, looks like rat guts" he said making a disgusted face
"I…. Think it's supposed to be ramen"
At that Touji dropped his plate and left the cafeteria Kensuke quickly followed suit "Where we going?"
"To Shinji's place"
"Why?"
"Because he's rich and has a gourmet chef and cooking assistants"
"Sweet"
They headed off in the direction of the nearest exit
~Mean while~
Back at Shinji's 'bachelor pad' house
~Ding dong~
The doorbell rang Shinji jumped up from the couch and ran to the front door expecting to see his new 'lady friend' but was disappointed when it was the new pizza boy Dougie. He handed him the pizza and said "that'll be $14.95 thanks" Shinji handed him the money and was about to close the door when he put his foot in the way "hey hey hey, how about a tip"
"Yeah right I forgot sorry, get a better job jackass" he slammed the door closed (if your Australian than you should know who Dougie is)
"Asshole hope you fucking choke," he muttered just than the sprinklers cut on soaking the poor delivery boy
Touji and Kensuke watched as the delivery boy fled from the scene, stumbling over a second sprinkler and laughed, "he's such a cheap bastard he never gives a tip"
They walked up to the front door and pressed the doorbell. They waited patiently for Shinji come.
Inside Shinji could be heard "its about time you got here May…. Oh hi what are you guys doing here?"
"Who did you just say was coming?" Kensuke said leaning in toward his friend
"Um Maya why…?"
"What are you insane that chicks a dyke"
"What makes you think that?" Shinji asked
"Well from what I heard she never goes out with any guys, she turned me down and I even heard she turned down Kaji a while back"
"Yeah well no offence but you 2 are both Dick heads," he said before allowing them in.
Kensuke and Touji both pulled back with mock hurt on their faces than walked in "so Shinji what are you up to today"
"Not much I'm just having interviews for my new 'lady friend' "
"Why do ya need a new one you got Rei remember?" Touji asked
"Yeah why" Kensuke spoke up
Shinji sighed than spoke "Rei went lesbian and I'm afraid that Asuka may too"
"Oooooook I get it"
Touji started making his way toward Shinji's kitchen "don't worry Shinji if you cant get another girlfriend you can always go around to the gay side, I'm sure Koaru will have you" he joked but stopped dead in his tracks when he heard Koaru scream down from the heavens
"IM NOOOOOT GAAAAY"
Everyone laughed when they heard this obviously the young angel still had not come to terms with himself yet Shinji and Kensuke headed towards the kitchen as well but Shinji stopped when he heard the doorbell ring and ran back to the front door. He opened it to reveal Maya "hi"
"Hello, so what's this interview for?" she asked as she stepped inside
"Well you see I'm on the lookout for a new girlfriend…" Maya interrupted him
"So what does this have to do with me?"
"Well I have to find the right girl because well, I can't just date anyone it has to be someone I like."
"You don't seem to mind going out with Asuka," she said sarcastically
"No see that's different"
"How?"
"Well… um see the thing is… I … um I dunno it just is" he finished finally
"Riiiiiight so what do you want me to do"
Shinji was sweating profusely "well see I… I wanted to know if… if"
"If I would be that SPECIAL lady friend" Shinji nodded nervously "well I'm not sure if you know this but I-AM-A-LESBIAN"
"Shit you too Jesus Christ everyone seems to be going lesbian on me"
Maya's eyes lit up with joy at the mention of another lesbian "Really, who c'mon I gotta know"
"Rei" Shinji sighed out
She walked over and patted him on the back "don't worry Shinji it'll be alright" for me that is, Rei is such a babe
~1 week later~
Gendo had just awoken from his 'afternoon nap' and was still hungry he got up from the secret compartment under the desk and headed toward the cafeteria for a nice glass of milk but Kozo and Ritsuko interrupted his journey "Gendo I believe that your afternoon naps are becoming somewhat of a problem"
"How so?"
"Well the afternoon naps have slowly been turning into week long hibernations"
"SHUT UP" he said
Kozo turned to Ritsuko "don't worry he's always grouchy after a nice relaxing sleep"
"I know I got the same treatment last Monday morning after he woke up and I didn't have milk left in my hous…" she realised what she was saying. At this kozo began to hum and walk around in circles.
Gendo decided to change the subject "I want a full update on my happy bake oven"
Kozo stopped humming and turned to his long time friend "nothing yet but were going to have to continue the search another time"
"And why pray tell is that?"
"Well you see all of our so called bridge bunnies have disappeared"
"I see well than we shall continue the search ourselves," Gendo said before walking off in the direction of the cafeteria time for a couple of bickies and a glass of milk he thought before walking through a door
"You know I think he really has gone insane," Ritsuko whispered to the vice commander
"How can you tell?"
"Easy he just walked into the sceptic tank room" she made a disgusted face mental note: no sex with Gendo for 2 weeks
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THAT'S IT FOR THIS CHAPTER
Yeah, yeah I know its short and frankly I'm not to pleased with it but r/r I wanna know what you think and if you think that I should add something to this story than speak up god knows I need some help
PEACE OUT AND LIVE LARGE god knows I do