Disclaimer: I don't own FF7. It's not mine. None of you think it's mine,
right? *looks out on reviewers and silent readers, who all shake their
heads and speak in unison* "Final Fantasy 7 belongs to Sqauresoft." *AT
chuckles to herself* Good little minions.
Author's Note: Well, looks like I haven't updated in a week. *laughs nervously while random readers start pulling various implements of torture out of their pockets* Oh, come on. Don't be like that. I told you guys I'd continue to update this fic, right? Well, I will. SO THERE!! Until this fic is done, you can count on me to update!! Even if I really want to be writing something CCS or FB right now- NO! I will work on this fic while my mind plays through random kawaii scenes of Syaoran and Sakura!! If that's not dedication, what is?
Chapter 31:
Different, Somehow
It was strange. Being welcomed like this, having immediate acceptance. It was a situation he had never before found himself in, and he didn't know how to respond. It was a little discomforting, to know just how easily Aeris would accept him. She should have been afraid of him, like everyone else was. Fear, he knew. Fear, he could deal with. But.. this? Acceptance? It would take some getting used to.
The meal was wonderful. A part of his mind was telling him that. A small part. The vast majority of his attention, however, was drawn to the way Aeris and her mother interacted. They were friendly, and made easy conversation. But there was a strain there that was not easily noticeable, and he wondered if they realized that he noticed it.
He had not forgotten about their earlier conversation, in the playground. It would have been cruel to forget something like that. Was her surrogate father's death the cause of this strain? It would be foolish to think otherwise.
The meal ended shortly, as only Sephiroth was eating. He did not feel comfortable being the center of attention, so he finished quickly. Instead of leaving, as he had planned to do, Aeris invited him up to her room.
When Sephiroth stared at her, Elmyra laughed. "Don't worry. You don't have to if you don't want to."
And although a voice was telling him otherwise, he agreed. The walk upstairs and down the hall seemed to take forever. Not because of the length of time, but because the only thing he had to think of was Aeris.
"What are you doing?"
The playful voice jolted him out of his reverie, and he shook his head. He entered her room and immediately wanted to memorize everything. The first impression was pink. An overwhelming pinkness that seemed to be everywhere. He could never live in this room. There were stuffed animals everywhere, and her bed was neatly made. An open coloring book and some crayons were lying on her desk, ready to be used at any moment. Unsurprisingly, there were flowers on the windowsill, blooming and ready to soak up the sunlight once it next appeared.
Aeris noticed his scrutiny and laughed. "What? Is my room so interesting?"
Sephiroth shrugged. "A person's home reveals a lot about them."
Aeris tilted her head in a way that Sephiroth was beginning to recognize. "Really?" He nodded. "What's mine say about me?"
"Nothing I didn't already know."
Aeris sat down on her bed and invited him to sit next to her. He sat down carefully, making sure there was plenty of distance between them.
Silence stretched between them, with the low ticking of her clock the only real way to mark time. It seemed to him that he should say something, should make some sort of attempt at conversation. It was her house, after all, and she had been kind enough to invite him in.
"Your mother is very nice."
Aeris smiled at that. "Yeah." Her smile slowly faded. "But.."
"But?" he prodded.
"She's still sad. I can tell. She was acting weird at dinner." She looked up at him for confirmation. "Did you notice?"
He nodded. What could he say? It was rude to say nothing, but nothing of value came to mind. Luckily, she spared him the trouble by speaking again.
"I wondered how she would act when I got home today. I mean, she was so sad before. But, she just acted like everything was okay." She looked at Sephiroth, and he returned her gaze. "But, it's not okay, and I don't know what to do."
A tear fell down her cheek, and Sephiroth immediately wiped it away. She leaned in closer to him, and he let her rest her head against his shoulder. He brought his hand up to hold onto her shoulder. They stayed like that for some time, and finally Aeris sniffled.
"You know, you're weird."
Sephiroth blinked, and took his hand off of her shoulder.
"No, no, I mean... um.. That, you know- oh, what do I mean?"
He looked at her, amused at her confusion. She would undoubtedly make her point clear. Meanwhile, he got the pleasure of watching her face go through an endless array of emotions as she tried to figure out how to explain her thoughts to him.
She breathed a sigh of relief and looked up at him. "Okay, here's what I mean. Whenever I'm happy, and I try to talk to you, you always just ignore me. But, when I'm sad, and really need to talk to someone, you're there. It's just funny is all. Most people would do the opposite, don't you think?"
Sephiroth shrugged. He didn't know what to say. When she was happy, he felt it best not to intrude. After all, he was a depressing person. He had been told that many times. People did not like being around him. Why should he make her unhappy just because he was unable to function normally?
And when she was sad, well, was there any person who could actually turn her away when she came seeking comfort? He highly doubted it. She seemed to be perfect in every way. When that perfection was marred because of sadness, how could he ignore it? If there was anything that was in his power to do to help fix it, he would more than willingly do it. Couldn't she see that? Was it obvious only to him? But, it was something that was impossible to explain, and he didn't even try.
"Not that what you do is bad, or anything! Oh, don't think that! I just would like to see you when I'm happy sometimes, too."
Why, so she could become depressed after being in his company?
"But I like seeing you when I'm sad!"
Of course. Misery loves company, as they say.
"It helps me to feel better, when you're, you know, talking with me."
That was an outright lie. No one would ever feel better after talking with him.
"And, when I feel sad, I get happy when I realize you care about me!"
Did he? Did he care about her? Did she realize it?
"Oh, but I know that my mom cares about me too, but she was all sad today, so I just couldn't talk to her about anything, you know?"
Yes, he did know about not being able to talk with your mother.
"There are other people who care, like Zack, I guess."
Yes, Zack does care. More than he should.
"And, I really feel happy when he's around."
Zack makes others happy. How could she not feel joy around him?
"He makes me feel special, sometimes."
She was special all the time. All the time.
"But, when I'm with you, I feel like I can talk about anything, and you'd understand."
Does she really feel that way? He wondered if he would understand everything she talked to him about.
"Because you're special."
Was he? Was he special?
No, you're not special. Don't let her fool you with her innocent games. Stay on guard around her.
"I mean, uh, not that you're weird, like I said before, but that you make me feel different than everyone else does."
Sephiroth looked up at her. "I do?"
Aeris nodded. "Yes! You make me feel. different."
He could agree with that. She was different, somehow.
Author's Note: Well, looks like I haven't updated in a week. *laughs nervously while random readers start pulling various implements of torture out of their pockets* Oh, come on. Don't be like that. I told you guys I'd continue to update this fic, right? Well, I will. SO THERE!! Until this fic is done, you can count on me to update!! Even if I really want to be writing something CCS or FB right now- NO! I will work on this fic while my mind plays through random kawaii scenes of Syaoran and Sakura!! If that's not dedication, what is?
Chapter 31:
Different, Somehow
It was strange. Being welcomed like this, having immediate acceptance. It was a situation he had never before found himself in, and he didn't know how to respond. It was a little discomforting, to know just how easily Aeris would accept him. She should have been afraid of him, like everyone else was. Fear, he knew. Fear, he could deal with. But.. this? Acceptance? It would take some getting used to.
The meal was wonderful. A part of his mind was telling him that. A small part. The vast majority of his attention, however, was drawn to the way Aeris and her mother interacted. They were friendly, and made easy conversation. But there was a strain there that was not easily noticeable, and he wondered if they realized that he noticed it.
He had not forgotten about their earlier conversation, in the playground. It would have been cruel to forget something like that. Was her surrogate father's death the cause of this strain? It would be foolish to think otherwise.
The meal ended shortly, as only Sephiroth was eating. He did not feel comfortable being the center of attention, so he finished quickly. Instead of leaving, as he had planned to do, Aeris invited him up to her room.
When Sephiroth stared at her, Elmyra laughed. "Don't worry. You don't have to if you don't want to."
And although a voice was telling him otherwise, he agreed. The walk upstairs and down the hall seemed to take forever. Not because of the length of time, but because the only thing he had to think of was Aeris.
"What are you doing?"
The playful voice jolted him out of his reverie, and he shook his head. He entered her room and immediately wanted to memorize everything. The first impression was pink. An overwhelming pinkness that seemed to be everywhere. He could never live in this room. There were stuffed animals everywhere, and her bed was neatly made. An open coloring book and some crayons were lying on her desk, ready to be used at any moment. Unsurprisingly, there were flowers on the windowsill, blooming and ready to soak up the sunlight once it next appeared.
Aeris noticed his scrutiny and laughed. "What? Is my room so interesting?"
Sephiroth shrugged. "A person's home reveals a lot about them."
Aeris tilted her head in a way that Sephiroth was beginning to recognize. "Really?" He nodded. "What's mine say about me?"
"Nothing I didn't already know."
Aeris sat down on her bed and invited him to sit next to her. He sat down carefully, making sure there was plenty of distance between them.
Silence stretched between them, with the low ticking of her clock the only real way to mark time. It seemed to him that he should say something, should make some sort of attempt at conversation. It was her house, after all, and she had been kind enough to invite him in.
"Your mother is very nice."
Aeris smiled at that. "Yeah." Her smile slowly faded. "But.."
"But?" he prodded.
"She's still sad. I can tell. She was acting weird at dinner." She looked up at him for confirmation. "Did you notice?"
He nodded. What could he say? It was rude to say nothing, but nothing of value came to mind. Luckily, she spared him the trouble by speaking again.
"I wondered how she would act when I got home today. I mean, she was so sad before. But, she just acted like everything was okay." She looked at Sephiroth, and he returned her gaze. "But, it's not okay, and I don't know what to do."
A tear fell down her cheek, and Sephiroth immediately wiped it away. She leaned in closer to him, and he let her rest her head against his shoulder. He brought his hand up to hold onto her shoulder. They stayed like that for some time, and finally Aeris sniffled.
"You know, you're weird."
Sephiroth blinked, and took his hand off of her shoulder.
"No, no, I mean... um.. That, you know- oh, what do I mean?"
He looked at her, amused at her confusion. She would undoubtedly make her point clear. Meanwhile, he got the pleasure of watching her face go through an endless array of emotions as she tried to figure out how to explain her thoughts to him.
She breathed a sigh of relief and looked up at him. "Okay, here's what I mean. Whenever I'm happy, and I try to talk to you, you always just ignore me. But, when I'm sad, and really need to talk to someone, you're there. It's just funny is all. Most people would do the opposite, don't you think?"
Sephiroth shrugged. He didn't know what to say. When she was happy, he felt it best not to intrude. After all, he was a depressing person. He had been told that many times. People did not like being around him. Why should he make her unhappy just because he was unable to function normally?
And when she was sad, well, was there any person who could actually turn her away when she came seeking comfort? He highly doubted it. She seemed to be perfect in every way. When that perfection was marred because of sadness, how could he ignore it? If there was anything that was in his power to do to help fix it, he would more than willingly do it. Couldn't she see that? Was it obvious only to him? But, it was something that was impossible to explain, and he didn't even try.
"Not that what you do is bad, or anything! Oh, don't think that! I just would like to see you when I'm happy sometimes, too."
Why, so she could become depressed after being in his company?
"But I like seeing you when I'm sad!"
Of course. Misery loves company, as they say.
"It helps me to feel better, when you're, you know, talking with me."
That was an outright lie. No one would ever feel better after talking with him.
"And, when I feel sad, I get happy when I realize you care about me!"
Did he? Did he care about her? Did she realize it?
"Oh, but I know that my mom cares about me too, but she was all sad today, so I just couldn't talk to her about anything, you know?"
Yes, he did know about not being able to talk with your mother.
"There are other people who care, like Zack, I guess."
Yes, Zack does care. More than he should.
"And, I really feel happy when he's around."
Zack makes others happy. How could she not feel joy around him?
"He makes me feel special, sometimes."
She was special all the time. All the time.
"But, when I'm with you, I feel like I can talk about anything, and you'd understand."
Does she really feel that way? He wondered if he would understand everything she talked to him about.
"Because you're special."
Was he? Was he special?
No, you're not special. Don't let her fool you with her innocent games. Stay on guard around her.
"I mean, uh, not that you're weird, like I said before, but that you make me feel different than everyone else does."
Sephiroth looked up at her. "I do?"
Aeris nodded. "Yes! You make me feel. different."
He could agree with that. She was different, somehow.