Disclaimer: Owning Final Fantasy 7 is just a distant dream to someone like
me- a poor, anime-loving college student with two part-time jobs. There is
no hope that I could ever own FF7 like Squaresoft does.
Author's Note: EEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! Do my eyes deceive me? 98 reviews? REALLY? Oh, Joy! Jubilation! The insane amounts of fun that I am now having are too much! I am so pleased by this, you all have absolutely no idea. Two more reviews- TWO MORE- and I'm at one hundred! That's one with two zeros, baby. Yes!! I will write well today, with this inspiring knowledge to back me up! JOY!!!!!!!
And, did you all see all the new reviewers? Did ya? Did ya? I'm so pleased. People like my story. *grins stupidly* BTW, Blizzaga, I try and make the chapters as long as I can, but I've got a LOT of other stuff to do. I'd rather update more frequently with shorter chapters. Plus, I tend to try and write from everyone's viewpoints, and it seems to work better if I only have one or two perspectives in each chapter. Kathryn, the 'General Sephiroth chapter' is not in the future. It is exactly where it should be. *smiles mysteriously* Yes, there is an underlying plot. And NONE OF YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS!! HAHA!!! Tatsiro, I know, I have, haven't I? But, it does seem to be working. *points at review count* And, to everyone who wants me to read their stories, I'm getting there! Sheesh, do you want a chapter today or not?? *shakes head* Enjoy!!
Chapter 34:
Like an Idiot
"Are you sure you've got everything?"
"Yes, dad."
"Shirts, pants, socks, shoes, toothbrush, toothpaste, schoolbooks-"
"Dad, I've got it all."
"You can't come back to get something. If you forget something, that's it."
"I know."
"Did you remember to bring those papers they gave you? I know I saw them on the table before."
"I've got everything."
"Everything? You sure?"
"Yes, dad. I'm sure."
"Okay, well... then..."
"..."
"Have a good trip."
"Yeah."
"Be safe."
"Uh-huh."
"Don't do anything I wouldn't do."
"Dad..."
"What?"
"... Forget it. We're coming back in three days, alright?"
"I thought it was longer."
"Well, they said this time was only three days, but the longest they ever had a group out was for a few months. Five or six, I think."
"Six months?! That's half a year!"
"I know that."
"B-But!"
"But what? I already told you, it's just for three days."
"Okay. As long as you're sure."
"I'm sure, okay? I am so sure."
"Well, then... see you later."
"Later."
"I love you."
"Daaad..."
"What?"
~*~*~*~*~*~
There was nothing left for him here. He had known that for a long time now. The only option that was available for him was to leave. Why was it so hard? It should not have been this hard to leave such a painful place as this. Yet, he felt that if he left now, he would not be able to return.
It was silly. Childish, really. They would be gone for three days. So what? No big deal. There was no one here who would miss him. No one here who cared about him enough to check up on him. So, why should he not want to leave this place? It only held painful memories for him. Memories of his mother... No! Don't think about it! If you think about it, you'll lose your resolve. Be careful. You need to get through this training. I need you to acquire certain skills before we can continue with my plan. That's right. I need to learn these skills. I have to learn them. They're important for me to learn.
He shook his head. He was not able to tell when that other voice was around anymore. Every now and again he could sense it, but most of the time was a lost cause. The only times he could even remotely control it was when he was around Aeris or Zack. Around them, that voice seemed to get more distant. It was a good reason to stay around them.
If he had needed a reason, that is.
He opened the door with a sigh. It was just so much easier to not think about anything that was going on. If he thought about it, then that would make it all the more real to him. And it couldn't be real, at least, not yet. Not until he could find a solution. Once he knew what to do, how to solve things, then they could be problems for him. Not before. It wasn't fair.
He dragged his suitcase over to the hallway and shook his head. Why was he so depressed today? Last night had been great. Even if it had been a little uncomfortable, it didn't matter. He had wanted Aeris to be able to talk with someone who might be better for her. Someone who wasn't as cold as he knew he was. But, she only wanted him. She wanted to be near him, and to keep on talking with him. It was more than he could have hoped for, and somehow he didn't feel like he deserved it.
He swept a hand through his hair and immediately noticed how long it had gotten. He would need to get a hair tie soon. For now, though, he ran back to the kitchen and rummaged through the drawers until he found a rubber band. He gathered the silver locks up, and hastily tied them back. A few loose strands still fell in his face, but it didn't matter. He wasn't going to a beauty competition, after all. No, what he was going to do would be much more painful, and probably more demanding than a beauty pageant. And thank God for that. If he had to go through some sort of girly thing like that, he might have a nervous breakdown.
He picked a clean glass out of one of the cabinets and filled it with water. His throat felt dry. He took a sip, then gulped the rest of it down. He got up to refill it and found himself staring at the scene outside. It was an old part of town, and signs of life were nowhere to be found. However, the plate was also old here, and there were many cracks along its surface. Light poured through those cracks, cheerfully willing to light the otherwise bleak atmosphere. It almost seemed to make the dust on the streets come alive.
Was that what it was like outside of the plate? Outside of Midgar? He had heard the training camp they would be going to was in some remote location. Was it outside of the plate? It seemed likely. What would he find outside? It was scary, and exciting all at the same time. He had never before even imagined of going outside of the plate, and now he was only hours away from experiencing what it was like on the surface of their forsaken planet. How beautiful it must be. Away from here, away from all of this. How peaceful, and calm, and quiet.
He wished Aeris would go with him. He knew she desperately wanted to get out from under the plate, and it seemed hardly fair that the only reason he got out was to go and learn how to kill people. If she got out, she would be able to enjoy the things he would probably not even think about. The wind, the sunset, the stars, the moon, the sun, the clouds, the trees, the grass, the flowers, the plants, and things that he didn't even have a name for. She would know them all, and be delighted to finally get to be so close to the planet that she spoke to.
Oh, how he wished he could take her there. How he wished he could take her away from all of the pain and misery that was here. He would take her far, far away, and then they could be happy together. She would be able to talk with the planet while looking at the clouds, and he would be content to just sit and watch her. Was it so wrong to wish for someone else's happiness? To wish for it so much more than anything else you've ever wished for?
Because, more than anything else, he wanted her to be happy. Happiness was only a dream for him, he knew he would never be able to fully grasp it. It was too late for him. Too many things had already gone wrong. But, Aeris still had hope. And, he was willing to do whatever it took to get her there- underneath that blue sky that he had only heard about. If only he could have taken her with him, he would have in an instant.
Maybe then, they would have gone off somewhere. Him and her and Zack- all three of them could have run away from this hellish city and find someplace where they could live together. Where they could be happy. It was hard for him to understand what it was he wished for, but it was so deep a wish that even though his mind couldn't fathom it, his heart could picture it completely.
Cold water rushed over his fingers, and he saw that his glass had overflowed. With a muffled curse he turned off the faucet and sat back down, immediately drinking some of the clear liquid. Why was everything he wanted so far out of his reach? He looked down into the glass and sulked.
Two bright green eyes stared back at him. He narrowed his eyes, and the reflection followed. There was nothing spectacular about his appearance. His hair was a strange color, but his eyes were normal. The green was bright now, but sometimes his eyes became dull, and he never understood why. Was the brightness covering up the dull color? Or, was the brightness continuously trying to break through the dullness? It didn't really matter. There were some questions that had no answers.
He finished his glass of water and cleaned it out. There was no need to leave dirty dishes for three days. He rechecked the house, although he knew he had packed everything he needed. There was nothing left to do. He walked back to the open door and stepped through it.
Sephiroth allowed himself one last glance inside his house before he closed the door tightly. He fumbled in his pocket for the key, glancing up briefly. There, taped to his front door, was a small note.
'Seph,
'Good luck today! I know you'll be great! See you when you get back, okay?
'Love, Aeris ^_^'
He blinked, and read it again. His hand brushed across his key, but he ignored it. Had she been here? She walked all the way to his house just to leave a note on his door? Why?
He shook his head and sighed. That girl was so strange. She did things no one else would do for him. It was a mystery he would solve, sooner or later.
He quickly took his key from his pocket and locked the door. He picked up his suitcase, and took one last look at his door.
"Aeris..."
He grabbed the note and shoved it back in his pocket with the key. As he walked away from his house, he was thankful that no one was around.
He didn't want anyone to see him blushing like an idiot.
Author's Note: EEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! Do my eyes deceive me? 98 reviews? REALLY? Oh, Joy! Jubilation! The insane amounts of fun that I am now having are too much! I am so pleased by this, you all have absolutely no idea. Two more reviews- TWO MORE- and I'm at one hundred! That's one with two zeros, baby. Yes!! I will write well today, with this inspiring knowledge to back me up! JOY!!!!!!!
And, did you all see all the new reviewers? Did ya? Did ya? I'm so pleased. People like my story. *grins stupidly* BTW, Blizzaga, I try and make the chapters as long as I can, but I've got a LOT of other stuff to do. I'd rather update more frequently with shorter chapters. Plus, I tend to try and write from everyone's viewpoints, and it seems to work better if I only have one or two perspectives in each chapter. Kathryn, the 'General Sephiroth chapter' is not in the future. It is exactly where it should be. *smiles mysteriously* Yes, there is an underlying plot. And NONE OF YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS!! HAHA!!! Tatsiro, I know, I have, haven't I? But, it does seem to be working. *points at review count* And, to everyone who wants me to read their stories, I'm getting there! Sheesh, do you want a chapter today or not?? *shakes head* Enjoy!!
Chapter 34:
Like an Idiot
"Are you sure you've got everything?"
"Yes, dad."
"Shirts, pants, socks, shoes, toothbrush, toothpaste, schoolbooks-"
"Dad, I've got it all."
"You can't come back to get something. If you forget something, that's it."
"I know."
"Did you remember to bring those papers they gave you? I know I saw them on the table before."
"I've got everything."
"Everything? You sure?"
"Yes, dad. I'm sure."
"Okay, well... then..."
"..."
"Have a good trip."
"Yeah."
"Be safe."
"Uh-huh."
"Don't do anything I wouldn't do."
"Dad..."
"What?"
"... Forget it. We're coming back in three days, alright?"
"I thought it was longer."
"Well, they said this time was only three days, but the longest they ever had a group out was for a few months. Five or six, I think."
"Six months?! That's half a year!"
"I know that."
"B-But!"
"But what? I already told you, it's just for three days."
"Okay. As long as you're sure."
"I'm sure, okay? I am so sure."
"Well, then... see you later."
"Later."
"I love you."
"Daaad..."
"What?"
~*~*~*~*~*~
There was nothing left for him here. He had known that for a long time now. The only option that was available for him was to leave. Why was it so hard? It should not have been this hard to leave such a painful place as this. Yet, he felt that if he left now, he would not be able to return.
It was silly. Childish, really. They would be gone for three days. So what? No big deal. There was no one here who would miss him. No one here who cared about him enough to check up on him. So, why should he not want to leave this place? It only held painful memories for him. Memories of his mother... No! Don't think about it! If you think about it, you'll lose your resolve. Be careful. You need to get through this training. I need you to acquire certain skills before we can continue with my plan. That's right. I need to learn these skills. I have to learn them. They're important for me to learn.
He shook his head. He was not able to tell when that other voice was around anymore. Every now and again he could sense it, but most of the time was a lost cause. The only times he could even remotely control it was when he was around Aeris or Zack. Around them, that voice seemed to get more distant. It was a good reason to stay around them.
If he had needed a reason, that is.
He opened the door with a sigh. It was just so much easier to not think about anything that was going on. If he thought about it, then that would make it all the more real to him. And it couldn't be real, at least, not yet. Not until he could find a solution. Once he knew what to do, how to solve things, then they could be problems for him. Not before. It wasn't fair.
He dragged his suitcase over to the hallway and shook his head. Why was he so depressed today? Last night had been great. Even if it had been a little uncomfortable, it didn't matter. He had wanted Aeris to be able to talk with someone who might be better for her. Someone who wasn't as cold as he knew he was. But, she only wanted him. She wanted to be near him, and to keep on talking with him. It was more than he could have hoped for, and somehow he didn't feel like he deserved it.
He swept a hand through his hair and immediately noticed how long it had gotten. He would need to get a hair tie soon. For now, though, he ran back to the kitchen and rummaged through the drawers until he found a rubber band. He gathered the silver locks up, and hastily tied them back. A few loose strands still fell in his face, but it didn't matter. He wasn't going to a beauty competition, after all. No, what he was going to do would be much more painful, and probably more demanding than a beauty pageant. And thank God for that. If he had to go through some sort of girly thing like that, he might have a nervous breakdown.
He picked a clean glass out of one of the cabinets and filled it with water. His throat felt dry. He took a sip, then gulped the rest of it down. He got up to refill it and found himself staring at the scene outside. It was an old part of town, and signs of life were nowhere to be found. However, the plate was also old here, and there were many cracks along its surface. Light poured through those cracks, cheerfully willing to light the otherwise bleak atmosphere. It almost seemed to make the dust on the streets come alive.
Was that what it was like outside of the plate? Outside of Midgar? He had heard the training camp they would be going to was in some remote location. Was it outside of the plate? It seemed likely. What would he find outside? It was scary, and exciting all at the same time. He had never before even imagined of going outside of the plate, and now he was only hours away from experiencing what it was like on the surface of their forsaken planet. How beautiful it must be. Away from here, away from all of this. How peaceful, and calm, and quiet.
He wished Aeris would go with him. He knew she desperately wanted to get out from under the plate, and it seemed hardly fair that the only reason he got out was to go and learn how to kill people. If she got out, she would be able to enjoy the things he would probably not even think about. The wind, the sunset, the stars, the moon, the sun, the clouds, the trees, the grass, the flowers, the plants, and things that he didn't even have a name for. She would know them all, and be delighted to finally get to be so close to the planet that she spoke to.
Oh, how he wished he could take her there. How he wished he could take her away from all of the pain and misery that was here. He would take her far, far away, and then they could be happy together. She would be able to talk with the planet while looking at the clouds, and he would be content to just sit and watch her. Was it so wrong to wish for someone else's happiness? To wish for it so much more than anything else you've ever wished for?
Because, more than anything else, he wanted her to be happy. Happiness was only a dream for him, he knew he would never be able to fully grasp it. It was too late for him. Too many things had already gone wrong. But, Aeris still had hope. And, he was willing to do whatever it took to get her there- underneath that blue sky that he had only heard about. If only he could have taken her with him, he would have in an instant.
Maybe then, they would have gone off somewhere. Him and her and Zack- all three of them could have run away from this hellish city and find someplace where they could live together. Where they could be happy. It was hard for him to understand what it was he wished for, but it was so deep a wish that even though his mind couldn't fathom it, his heart could picture it completely.
Cold water rushed over his fingers, and he saw that his glass had overflowed. With a muffled curse he turned off the faucet and sat back down, immediately drinking some of the clear liquid. Why was everything he wanted so far out of his reach? He looked down into the glass and sulked.
Two bright green eyes stared back at him. He narrowed his eyes, and the reflection followed. There was nothing spectacular about his appearance. His hair was a strange color, but his eyes were normal. The green was bright now, but sometimes his eyes became dull, and he never understood why. Was the brightness covering up the dull color? Or, was the brightness continuously trying to break through the dullness? It didn't really matter. There were some questions that had no answers.
He finished his glass of water and cleaned it out. There was no need to leave dirty dishes for three days. He rechecked the house, although he knew he had packed everything he needed. There was nothing left to do. He walked back to the open door and stepped through it.
Sephiroth allowed himself one last glance inside his house before he closed the door tightly. He fumbled in his pocket for the key, glancing up briefly. There, taped to his front door, was a small note.
'Seph,
'Good luck today! I know you'll be great! See you when you get back, okay?
'Love, Aeris ^_^'
He blinked, and read it again. His hand brushed across his key, but he ignored it. Had she been here? She walked all the way to his house just to leave a note on his door? Why?
He shook his head and sighed. That girl was so strange. She did things no one else would do for him. It was a mystery he would solve, sooner or later.
He quickly took his key from his pocket and locked the door. He picked up his suitcase, and took one last look at his door.
"Aeris..."
He grabbed the note and shoved it back in his pocket with the key. As he walked away from his house, he was thankful that no one was around.
He didn't want anyone to see him blushing like an idiot.