Thanks to my betas Caitlin and Boe (who I like to call Harry)
Well here we go...
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Chapter 1
Some Things Never Change
~*~
(summer after 6th year)
A tall dark haired boy stood out on the well manicured lawn of Number 4 Privet Drive. The wind blew his dark, shaggy hair revealing the lightning bolt shaped scar on his forehead. Ever since he was little that scar had made life difficult. In the Muggle world, it had made him "different" and therefore weird, and in the Wizarding world it had made him a target for death. But now as the war between good and evil raged in the wizarding world it was a constant reminder of his parents.. of what had happened to them, and what he was fighting for. His scar had burned constantly since Voldemort came back to power but by now he had gotten use to it and the most he felt was a small, stinging sensation.
A slamming door startled Harry back to reality and he jumped, whirling to face a grumpy Uncle Vernon. Harry had been extremely jumpy ever since the summer after his 4th year at Hogwarts, but he had every right to be. Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia didn't understand though, and they had yelled at him many times when a telephone rang or knock on the door caused Harry to pull his wand, ready to curse the closest thing to him. They didn't care about the war in his world, to them it was nothing more then a fictional story (and an unpleasant one at that). If only he could feel the same.
"Come on boy! We don't have all bloody day." Uncle Vernon's gruff voice echoed down Privet Drive and Harry turned back to give him a small nod. His emerald eye once more drifted down to the piece of parchment in his hands and stared out from behind his glasses in confusion and disbelief.
Harry-
Glad to hear your Uncle and Aunt are taking you with them. It's safer for you now to be as far away from all this as possible anyway. I'll say hello to Ron and Hermione for you, but Harry I have to ask that you don't write to them and tell them where you are. In fact Harry, I unfortunately have to ask you not to write to them period. If you really need to tell them something, send the letter to me and I'll make sure they get it. I'm sorry it has to be like this Harry, but it's for the best. I have to leave now. Be careful and promise me you won't do anything "heroic".
Sincerely,
Sirius
Harry crumpled the letter and shoved it into his pocket. He wasn't sure if he should be angry or depressed. His Godfather obviously had little trust in her and now he wasn't even letting him talk to his friends. Hadn't he done enough lately. He knew he meant well but Harry was tired of being treated as if he couldn't take care of himself. He was 17 years old! And still his Godfather felt as though he had to protect and watch over him every second. Was this really happening? And what did he mean by "heroic"? Sure, he had bent the rules a bit in his time but it was never for himself. It was so his friends would be safe. So everyone he cared about would be safe (and even those he didn't care for). Was that really what he would consider heroic? Harry didn't. To him his Godfather might as well have said "don't do anything stupid". Harry knew that's what he meant. He gave an annoyed sigh and shook his head, turning slowly and heading towards the car. Uncle Vernon sat in the driver's seat reading a copy of the newspaper as Harry got into the car. Somewhere in the house he could hear Dudley throwing a fit and he gave a disgusted look, slowly shutting the car door.
Harry had hardly closed the door all the way when Uncle Vernon turned around, his slightly purple face (which sat on his shoulders) tightened and his tiny eyes stared at Harry. "Listen up boy. There will be none of your silly tricks on this trip or you'll be finding yourself locked in your room the whole time. Do you understand me?"
Harry just sat there, staring back at him. Why were they even bringing him? He'd be just fine staying with Mrs. Figg. At least then he'd be able to talk to his friends.
"Answer me!"
Harry jerked his head back up and glared daringly at his uncle's fat face. "Yes," he mummbled, letting his annoyance present itself in his voice.
Uncle Vernon growled and turned back around, staring Harry down in his rear-view mirror. "I'll have none of your lip boy! If Mrs. Figg hadn't had left so suddenly you wouldn't even be going. So I'll tell you now, if you ruin this trip.. I'll make sure to ruin what's left of your freakshow life."
Harry furrowed his brows. Mrs. Figg was gone? That was odd. She hardly ever went anywhere, especially without telling anyone. He had hardly heard what Uncle Vernon said after that. He didn't need to though really, he had heard it all before. He was tired of his uncle's idle threats. He knew his uncle would follow through if he ever got the chance but after Mr. Weasley's and Hagrid's threats the year before, he was sure he wouldn't try anything. Even if they weren't here, for the Dursley's knew that his kind had an odd way of "always popping up all over that place", as his uncle had put it. Though that shouldn't have mattered anyway. Harry was a wizard, and Dumbledore had told him he could use a tiny bit of magick to keep the Durlsey's in line now and then. He didn't need someone else defending him. Harry sat back, crossing his arms in front of his chest. Then it was decided, if the Dursley's wanted to push him around anymore this summer he'd just push back. He closed his eyes, the world around him turning dark as memories of his past washed over him.
~*~
It was nearly Christmas of his 6th year and Harry sat in a one of the common rooms squishy armchairs, emerald eyes watching the dancing fire before him. A flame would stray now and then and make a daring jump away from its kin but it would soon hit the magic guard and leap back, licking the smokey walls of the fireplace. Behind him somewhere there was a rustling of papers and the agitated sigh of Hermione. Harry smiled a bit. Hermione's study habits never changed during the year and they had in fact worsened ten-fold after she became a prefect, and it was all he and Ron could do to escape from her clutches now and then. Harry's own prefect badge glinted in the fire's warm glow and Harry placed a tense hand over it. He never wanted to be a prefect, but here he was. Hermione had turned to scolding him constantly, her scornful cries of "Harry you know as a Prefect you shouldn't do such thing! What kind of example are you trying to set?" ringing out into the nights.
"I'm not trying to set any kind of anything!" Harry would huff and shove his hands into his cloak pockets. It was true. He didn't want to set an example, that was the last thing he wanted to do! He'd feel horrible if someone died trying to emulate him, and he knew they would. Harry rolled his eyes with a moan and lightly shook his head. At least Ron didn't yell at him. He had seemed so happy for Harry when he was announced a Prefect, but he knew Ron was slightly disappointed that he wasn't it. In Ron's mind he need to be a Prefect, for being one would be the only way he'd compare to his brothers even a little. It had made Harry's stomach drop when his name was called and he wanted nothing more then to decline and give it to Ron. Unfortunately for Harry, that wasn't how things worked.
The portrait of the fat lady spoke out suddenly and then lowered her voice to a rushed whisper. Harry jumped slightly and jerked his head around. His dark brows furrowed. He was slightly concerned but try not to dwell on it, figuring it was just the fat lady's friend Maple spreading new rumors. But what she was spreading was anything for a rumor.
A few moments later the portrait hole swung open and Harry pushed himself quickly out of his seat, resting a hand near his wand. Dumbledore and McGonagall stood sillohouted in the entry way, a wave of torchlight flooding in behind them from the hall. The few students left in the common room raised their heads and stared silently with wide eyes. It was odd to see Dumbledore in the Gryffindor Common Room and Harry felt himself break out in a cold sweat, his whole body tensing. His stomach dropped and he knew the Headmaster wasn't here for idle chit-chat and tea.
Surprisingly though it wasn't Dumbledore who spoke first but McGonagall. Her hair was messy and it looked as though she might have been crying. Another surge of terror ran down Harry's spine and he firmly planted his eyes on the tow, vowing not to leave until he knew what was wrong.
"Harry," McGonagall's voice was softer then usual, though it sounded a bit hoarse. His eyes flashed from Dumbledore over to her and he went to take a step forward but something held him to the floor and he waited stock still. "I'm afraid... I'm.." McGonagall's voice cracked and she paused for a long moment, finally taking a deep breath as she seemed to collect herself. When she looked back up, Harry could see a few crystalline tears rolled down her cheek and he was sure he was going to be sick. "I'm afraid we have some.. some rather bad news..." her voice trailed off into a faint whisper but it rang louder and louder in Harry's ears, echoing off the walls of his mind.
Before he even knew what happened Harry found himself running forward and grabbing ahold of McGonagall's arms, squeezing them a bit tighter than he probably should of and shaking her slightly. His breath came in ragged gasps and his jaw clenched, though his eyes remained as focused and powerful as ever.
"What!? What's happened!? Where are Ron and Hermione!? Are they safe!?" It all came tumbling out of him before he even knew what he was saying and his eyes traveled quickly between Dumbledore and his professor.
"Calm down Harry. I've been here the whole time and you know Ron went home to help his mother." Hermione was standing by Harry's side now and her eyes were full of concern for what was happening. She had seen Professor McGonagall have to explain to a student that their parents had been captured or killed now far to many times and she only hoped that that wasn't the reason she was here now. "Ron is ok isn't he?"
Professor McGonagall's eyes had widened as Harry had advanced on her and she struggled with his hands as she tried to loosen his grip. Her eyes flashed to Dumbledore and she was glad when Hermione had approached and Harry had released her. She rubbed her right arm and frowned a bit. She knew the boy had every right to act that way, but she didn't approve of it. She only hoped it wouldn't be much worse when she announced the news.
Harry had nodded at Hermione and then gave an appologetic look to Professor McGonagall, slightly embarrassed at his actions. But who could blame him? He had lost more then anyone else throughtout the war and his life. Nobody could understand what that felt like. His brows furrowed a bit and shot back up and he started to take a step forward but held himself back.
"What about Neville? Where is he?! Is he all right?"
"I can assure you Mr. Potter, that your friends are fine." Dumbledore's voice filled the room and seemed to put many of the students a bit more at ease. Harry, however, still stood his ground as he began to wish they would just tell him what happened already and stop toying with him. He felt his face burn with fear and rage but he stopped himself from lashing out at his professors. He didn't need to make a scene, that wouldn't help anything. He searched the room quickly, trying to think who else might be in trouble. He knew Dumbledore said his friends were fine but if that was true he wouldn't be here now, standing in front of him, staring at him from behind those half moon spectacles.
Professor McGonagall could feel Harry's un-easiness seeping from him and she turned her soft, dark eyes towards Dumbledore, noticing for the first time how tired he looked and how much his flowing beard and hair had lost their silver shine. She knew the war had been torture on him. Leading the Order was no easy task and Cornelius Fudge wasn't making it any easier. But that was not important now, what was important was Harry and his well being. She cleared her throat and tried to speak but found the words had escaped her. She struggled to find her voice and her eyes teared again. It was just too hard. Hagrid had been a loyal friend to them all, and now.. now "Oh Albus," she whispered.
"Don't worry Minerva," Dumbledore's voice was a bit hoarse itself and everyone seemed to notice it now, "I'll tell the boy." The old man's blue eyes seemed to tear a bit as well and he turned back to Harry, who was barely breathing by now. He motioned for Harry to sit down but Harry gave a firm shake of his head, despite Hermione's gentle tug on his cloak sleeve. Dumbledore respected his decision though and crossed his arms in front of his chest, staring down at Harry now with a trace of regret. If only he had gotten to know the boy better, then maybe his life wouldn't have been so hard. He felt as though he had let James and Lily down.
"Harry, as you know you're friend Hagrid had left some time ago to aid the Order in the fight against Voldemort."
Harry swallowed hard and thought his knees would give way.
"He had informed us that all was going well and that he would be making the final negotiations soon. But, unfortunately, my dear boy, all went horribly wrong and today I have the unpleasant business of informing you.."
Harry felt sick and he closed his eyes, wanting to wake up from this nightmare.
".. that Hagrid was murdered on his way to the meeting." Dumbledore's voice quivered a bit at the last words but he stayed strong. The news of Hagrid had affected him very much, but he had to stay strong now, for Harry's sake.
But Harry wasn't sure he'd need anyone to be strong for him much longer. His legs shook and his head swam. The room started to spin and the last words replayed over and over in Harry's mind. Hagrid's dead? he thought. It couldn't be. It wasn't! Harry was bound to wake up. He swallowed hard and fought of sickness as the knot in his stomach pulled tighter and tigher. "Please let it be a dream, please let it be a dream.." the words sounded off in Harry's head and did their best to wake him up from this nightmare... but they failed. It wasn't a dream. Hagrid was really dead. Harry took a shakey step back and felt a hand on his shoulder. He wasn't sure whose it was but he threw it off and stumbled back a bit more.
"No.. no it can't be.." Harry's voice cracked and his face burned. His head throbbed as his eyes lost focus and he turned quickly, nearly running into Hermione, who stood there in shock. Her mouth hung open the slightest bit and tears streamed down her face. She had hardly noticed that Harry had ran into her and when she did she reached out a hand, touching Harry lightly on the arm.
"Oh Harry.. I'm so sorry."
"No! Stop it! It's not real!" Harry yelled the words at the top of his voice. He knew it was and he turned around quickly. All he wanted now more then anything was to hide. He felt his eyes start to water and he ripped of his glasses, clamping a hand across his eyes. Why did everything have to happen to those he cared for and those who cared for him. It was as if some curse had been placed on him from birth so that anyone who ever got near him would die. He didn't want that to happen anymore. He couldn't let his friends die. He choked back a sob and quickly ran forward, feeling his way. He couldn't take his hands off his eyes. He was afraid of what would happen if he did. He ran past Professor McGonagall and Dumbledore, bumping into them as he pushed through the open portrait hole and went out into the halls. He needed to get away. Away from the common room. Away from the staring eyes. Away from everything.
Hermione had started to run after him but McGonagall placed a hand on her shoulder and held her back.
"No Ms. Granger. Let him go. He needs to be alone." Professor McGonagall looked down at Hermione, knowing how the girl must have felt. She wanted to go after Harry as well and make sure he'd be all right but she knew it would be better not to. She raised a weary hand and wiped the back of it across her eyes, watching as Hermione walked over to the fireplace and stared down into its light. Hermione raised a hand as well and wiped it across her eyes which had turned the same red as her face. After a quiet minute she looked back up, suddenly aware of all the students who had been watching them. Her brown eyes fought to avoid their stares and she glimpsed at the Headmaster and professor.
"Are you sure he'll be all right?"
"Positive Ms. Granger," Dumbledore's voice startled Hermione and she looked at him, feeling a bit of her tension ebb away at his voice, "it will just take some time."
With a small nod Hermione sniffed and took a step back, sitting on the edge of one of the armchairs. She heard Professor McGonagall and Professor Dumbledore whisper something to each other before their voices faded and the common room grew dark.
~*~
"Move over four-eyes!"
Harry jerked awake and peered over at Dudley's enormous form. He scooted towards the window a bit more, returning his gaze to the dull gray sky outside. He gave an inaudible sigh, rolling his eyes now and then as Dudley complained that he didn't have enough room. He wanted to say something but wasn't up for another one of Uncle Vernon's threats. He merely sat as close as he could to the door, feeling that he'd rather put up with crowded space then a whining Dudley.
"There there Dudleykins, it won't be long to Windmere." Aunt Petunia gave a crooked smile and turned back around in her seat, spreading a large map out on her lap.
"That's what you always say!"
Uncle Vernon gave a odd snort and a slight chuckle in the front as he backed the car out of the driveway. "Don't worry my boy, unless the roads are crowded we should be there in a couple of hours."
"A couple of hours!? You must be mad! I'm not going to sit in this car with him," he jerked his fat head towards Harry, "for two hours!"
Aunt Petunia gave a tired sigh and forced her thin mouth into a smile, gazing at Dudley through the car's side mirror. "Don't worry Duddy, he won't bother you," she gave a warning glance towards Harry but he ignored it, "and it's only for 2 hours. After that you can run around Windmere and you won't have to be anywhere near him."
Harry snorted and forced himself not to laugh or comment. Dudley? Run? She had to be kidding. He knew it was only a figure of speech but still even the mere thought made Harry's sides ache from not being able to laugh.
Aunt Petunia's dark eyes quickly shifted to Harry and pierced into him and she caught his tiny smirk. Her brows lowered and her face turned a bit red. "You have something you want to say boy?"
Harry raised his brows, retaining his bored expression however as he gave a dull shake of his head. He turned his attention back to the window as Aunt Petunia gave him what anyone else would considered a frightful look. He wasn't going to make any comments. Not yet. He'd wait until they got to Windmere where he had a place to go. He didn't want to stay trapped in the car with three angry muggles staring him down.
~*~
The world outside the car window flew past. Now and then a building would come into view and then turn into a streaking blur as they went by. The sky loomed over it all like a sheet of steel, cold and dark with little chance of the sun penetrating. Harry gave a sigh and turned forward, staring out the front window for a change. Beside him, Dudley was snoring and Harry couldn't help but notice how much he looked like a pig. He had always seen the resemblance, but now it was clearer then ever. And by the amount of weight he gained it was obvious his diet stopped soon after he'd returned to school.
"Are you sure you're going the right way?" Aunt Petunia's voice was strained and annoyance spread over her thin features. They had been like this since they left. Aunt Petunia would ask if he was going the right way and Uncle Vernon, like noe, would give a growl and mummbled a bit to himself. It would have been more amusing if they didn't lash at him. It was as if he had planned this. As if it was his fault.
Dudley stirred beside him and Harry poked him in the side, trying to keep him for falling over on him. He couldn't imagine what kind of torture it would be to be crushed alive, but he didn't want to find out. Dudley snorted and leaned the other way, swatting at Harry and slapping him in the arm. Harry huffed and rubbed his shoulder, turning his attention away from his obese cousin.
The voices of his aunt and uncle rose and dulled once more and a soothing instumental played over the radio. The corner of Harry's mouth turned into a frown and he wished more then anything that someone would come and take him away from all this. Towards the beginning he had been excited that he'd be getting to go on a trip, but Sirius's letter had ruined all that with a few simple words. What was he going to do now? He couldn't tell Ron and Hermione about all that was happening and he was sure Dudley would make him as miserable as possible. He'd just have to live it out.
Cars whirred past them in the opposite direction and Harry's tensed a bit, wondering what could make so many muggles leave a place so quickly. The summer holidays had only started a week or so ago, so they couldn't be ending their vacations already. Could they? Harry turned ideas over in his head. Maybe the lake was closed? No that wouldn't seem right. While Harry thought up possibilities he felt his body go cold and he reach to roll the window up. To his surprise though it was already up, as well as all the others. Harry opened his mouth but seemed to decide against asking if anyone else was cold. Then it hit him. A loud scream broke out in his head and his scar burned as though someone was poking his forehead with hot needles. He gasped and grabbed his head, as though covering his ears would close out the sound. It didn't. Harry managed to wretch one eye open and he looked all around him, trying to spot where the dementor was. His gaze fell upon Aunt Petunia and he noticed her mouth was open, but he couldn't hear her screaming. The only things he could hear were the pleas and screams of his mother, and a cold, high pitched laugh that echoed evily of the walls of his mind. He closed his eyes again and squeezed them shut, his body quivered and he weaved in and out of unconsciousness.
Then, right before Harry thought he would lose consnciousness, the screaming stopped nearly as suddenly as it had started. Harry's head swam and his hands fell limp and away from his head. Now his Aunt Petunia's enraged and frighten screams rang in his head and he winced a bit at their impact. Dudley had awoken sometime through it and stared at Harry as if he were mad.
"Snap out of it! Knock it off you little freak!" Aunt Petunia looked ghastly white and Harry was glad they were moving or else she might have kicked him out of the car and left him to walk to Windmere.
Uncle Vernon's face had again turned purple and looked like a large beet. His breath came in ragged, angry gasp and he shook very slightly, the fat of his cheeks and chins jiggling. "I told you boy! I told you I'd have none of your nonsense!"
"I couldn't help it!" Harry shot back, becoming rather upset himself.
"I won't hear of it!" Uncle Vernon swerved back onto his side of the road and seemed to speed up a bit. His hands clutched the wheel so tightly his knuckles turned white and the tips of his ears burned red.
"But..."
"I said I'd have no more!"
Harry sat back in his seat, crossing his arms angrily and staring at the back of Uncle Vernon's head, wishing it would inflate as Marge had his 3rd year. His body was covered in sweat though he still felt a bit sick and extremely cold. He knew he should have brought chocolate with him but it'd be of no help anyway as Dudley would surely eat it before Harry would even get a chance to take a bite.
~*~
When the car rolled into the drive along Windmere Lake Harry grabbed the latch of his seat belt, eager to get out and away from the Dursley's. He was sure the last 2 hours with them had been worse then all 16 years of his life put together and he wanted out!
Windmere wasn't a bad looking place over all. The smooth green lawns and gardens of the area reminded Harry of Privet Drive but the majestic forest on the far side of the crystal clear lake brought back memories of Hogwarts. The water of the lake now was the same inky black as that of the Hogwarts's lake and Harry felt his heart drop just a little. There was a good chance he wouldn't get to return to school this year. Harry couldn't bear to think of what that would be like. Dumbledore had shown great concern for Harry's well being towards the end of 6th year. He knew Hogwarts was one of the safest places in the wizarding world, but because of that reason he felt it would be a prime target. He couldn't let Harry stay. That was also, Harry suspected, why he couldn't talk to Ron and Hermione. Wherever he went, Voldemort would follow. If someone were to intercept a letter from Harry they'd surely be able to find where he was. And if not, they would always be able to read who it was addressed to and torture them until it came out. Harry had remembered how Sirius had scolded him in one letter for telling him the name of the lake. It hadn't made sense why then but Harry was starting to understand now.
The car came to a halt in front of a regal looking, 2 story cabin. Harry wasted no time in throwing the door open and jumping out of the car. He had only brought a few things with him. Some parchment, quills and ink, and a few books were all the Dursley's would allow. Harry had managed to sneak a few other things with him though, including his invisibility cloak. He had a feeling that might come in useful.
Harry had taken a few steps forward, his eyes taking in the scenery and storing it away. Two large willow trees bordered the edge of the driveway and created a sort of curtain, hiding all from view. Harry had a feeling the Dursley's did that on purpose. The sounds of rustling baggage and a complaining Dudley soon took place in the atmosphere and Harry shook his head, wondering if he'd be like Dudley had the Dursley's chosen to accept him. He quickly decided he wouldn't be though and took back to walking around.
A pair of yellow eyes watched the raven haired boy from within the shelter of a nearby hedge. A tabby colored tail flickered and a set of white claws retracted from their sheathes. Harry felt the hair on the back of his neck rise and he stopped dead in place. The slitted eyes watched as Harry's hand slowly crept down his side and she gave a small hiss, leaping out in the bushes before him. Harry hardly took notice of what it was and he brandished his wand in the blink of an eye, aiming it steadily at the small feline. Behind him he heard Aunt Petunia's shrill scream and he winced, shoving his wand back into his pocket with a sigh of relief. He wouldn't have that feeling for long though. In a matter of seconds, Uncle Vernon's bulky form had advanced upon him and grabbed hold of his hair. Harry's head jerked to the side and he growled, staring up into his uncle's beady black eyes.
"I TOLD YOU YOU WERE NOT TO BRING THAT THING! WHAT IF SOMEONE HAD SEEN YOU! WE DON'T NEED THESE PERFECT STRANGERS THINKING WE'RE SOME KIND OF FREAKS! YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE OF THOSE HERE!" The words tumbled out of Uncle Vernon's mouth and pelted Harry in the face. He swung at his uncle and missed, finding himself pushed backwards onto the ground. His face burned and he got up. His mind turned to hatred and he took a deep breath, trying to calm down before he did something he might regret later. He wanted to jump his uncle, to sneak up and hex him without warning. He couldn't risk it though. There were too many muggles around and he wasn't familiar with the area yet. He'd have to wait before such drastic measures were taken.
"Now go get your junk into the cabin," his uncle said without looking back. Junk? Harry huffed and glared at his uncle's head. Sure he'd get his junk.. in good time. He couldn't do it now though. He wasn't sure his willpower would last. The cat had vanished by now and Harry shook it off, turning foot and heading down a trodden path that lead down to the lake.
________________________________________
Author's Note: Nice to way to start a chapter aye? You can expect there to be many flashback sequences riddled throughout this story.
Well here we go...
_____
Chapter 1
Some Things Never Change
~*~
(summer after 6th year)
A tall dark haired boy stood out on the well manicured lawn of Number 4 Privet Drive. The wind blew his dark, shaggy hair revealing the lightning bolt shaped scar on his forehead. Ever since he was little that scar had made life difficult. In the Muggle world, it had made him "different" and therefore weird, and in the Wizarding world it had made him a target for death. But now as the war between good and evil raged in the wizarding world it was a constant reminder of his parents.. of what had happened to them, and what he was fighting for. His scar had burned constantly since Voldemort came back to power but by now he had gotten use to it and the most he felt was a small, stinging sensation.
A slamming door startled Harry back to reality and he jumped, whirling to face a grumpy Uncle Vernon. Harry had been extremely jumpy ever since the summer after his 4th year at Hogwarts, but he had every right to be. Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia didn't understand though, and they had yelled at him many times when a telephone rang or knock on the door caused Harry to pull his wand, ready to curse the closest thing to him. They didn't care about the war in his world, to them it was nothing more then a fictional story (and an unpleasant one at that). If only he could feel the same.
"Come on boy! We don't have all bloody day." Uncle Vernon's gruff voice echoed down Privet Drive and Harry turned back to give him a small nod. His emerald eye once more drifted down to the piece of parchment in his hands and stared out from behind his glasses in confusion and disbelief.
Harry-
Glad to hear your Uncle and Aunt are taking you with them. It's safer for you now to be as far away from all this as possible anyway. I'll say hello to Ron and Hermione for you, but Harry I have to ask that you don't write to them and tell them where you are. In fact Harry, I unfortunately have to ask you not to write to them period. If you really need to tell them something, send the letter to me and I'll make sure they get it. I'm sorry it has to be like this Harry, but it's for the best. I have to leave now. Be careful and promise me you won't do anything "heroic".
Sincerely,
Sirius
Harry crumpled the letter and shoved it into his pocket. He wasn't sure if he should be angry or depressed. His Godfather obviously had little trust in her and now he wasn't even letting him talk to his friends. Hadn't he done enough lately. He knew he meant well but Harry was tired of being treated as if he couldn't take care of himself. He was 17 years old! And still his Godfather felt as though he had to protect and watch over him every second. Was this really happening? And what did he mean by "heroic"? Sure, he had bent the rules a bit in his time but it was never for himself. It was so his friends would be safe. So everyone he cared about would be safe (and even those he didn't care for). Was that really what he would consider heroic? Harry didn't. To him his Godfather might as well have said "don't do anything stupid". Harry knew that's what he meant. He gave an annoyed sigh and shook his head, turning slowly and heading towards the car. Uncle Vernon sat in the driver's seat reading a copy of the newspaper as Harry got into the car. Somewhere in the house he could hear Dudley throwing a fit and he gave a disgusted look, slowly shutting the car door.
Harry had hardly closed the door all the way when Uncle Vernon turned around, his slightly purple face (which sat on his shoulders) tightened and his tiny eyes stared at Harry. "Listen up boy. There will be none of your silly tricks on this trip or you'll be finding yourself locked in your room the whole time. Do you understand me?"
Harry just sat there, staring back at him. Why were they even bringing him? He'd be just fine staying with Mrs. Figg. At least then he'd be able to talk to his friends.
"Answer me!"
Harry jerked his head back up and glared daringly at his uncle's fat face. "Yes," he mummbled, letting his annoyance present itself in his voice.
Uncle Vernon growled and turned back around, staring Harry down in his rear-view mirror. "I'll have none of your lip boy! If Mrs. Figg hadn't had left so suddenly you wouldn't even be going. So I'll tell you now, if you ruin this trip.. I'll make sure to ruin what's left of your freakshow life."
Harry furrowed his brows. Mrs. Figg was gone? That was odd. She hardly ever went anywhere, especially without telling anyone. He had hardly heard what Uncle Vernon said after that. He didn't need to though really, he had heard it all before. He was tired of his uncle's idle threats. He knew his uncle would follow through if he ever got the chance but after Mr. Weasley's and Hagrid's threats the year before, he was sure he wouldn't try anything. Even if they weren't here, for the Dursley's knew that his kind had an odd way of "always popping up all over that place", as his uncle had put it. Though that shouldn't have mattered anyway. Harry was a wizard, and Dumbledore had told him he could use a tiny bit of magick to keep the Durlsey's in line now and then. He didn't need someone else defending him. Harry sat back, crossing his arms in front of his chest. Then it was decided, if the Dursley's wanted to push him around anymore this summer he'd just push back. He closed his eyes, the world around him turning dark as memories of his past washed over him.
~*~
It was nearly Christmas of his 6th year and Harry sat in a one of the common rooms squishy armchairs, emerald eyes watching the dancing fire before him. A flame would stray now and then and make a daring jump away from its kin but it would soon hit the magic guard and leap back, licking the smokey walls of the fireplace. Behind him somewhere there was a rustling of papers and the agitated sigh of Hermione. Harry smiled a bit. Hermione's study habits never changed during the year and they had in fact worsened ten-fold after she became a prefect, and it was all he and Ron could do to escape from her clutches now and then. Harry's own prefect badge glinted in the fire's warm glow and Harry placed a tense hand over it. He never wanted to be a prefect, but here he was. Hermione had turned to scolding him constantly, her scornful cries of "Harry you know as a Prefect you shouldn't do such thing! What kind of example are you trying to set?" ringing out into the nights.
"I'm not trying to set any kind of anything!" Harry would huff and shove his hands into his cloak pockets. It was true. He didn't want to set an example, that was the last thing he wanted to do! He'd feel horrible if someone died trying to emulate him, and he knew they would. Harry rolled his eyes with a moan and lightly shook his head. At least Ron didn't yell at him. He had seemed so happy for Harry when he was announced a Prefect, but he knew Ron was slightly disappointed that he wasn't it. In Ron's mind he need to be a Prefect, for being one would be the only way he'd compare to his brothers even a little. It had made Harry's stomach drop when his name was called and he wanted nothing more then to decline and give it to Ron. Unfortunately for Harry, that wasn't how things worked.
The portrait of the fat lady spoke out suddenly and then lowered her voice to a rushed whisper. Harry jumped slightly and jerked his head around. His dark brows furrowed. He was slightly concerned but try not to dwell on it, figuring it was just the fat lady's friend Maple spreading new rumors. But what she was spreading was anything for a rumor.
A few moments later the portrait hole swung open and Harry pushed himself quickly out of his seat, resting a hand near his wand. Dumbledore and McGonagall stood sillohouted in the entry way, a wave of torchlight flooding in behind them from the hall. The few students left in the common room raised their heads and stared silently with wide eyes. It was odd to see Dumbledore in the Gryffindor Common Room and Harry felt himself break out in a cold sweat, his whole body tensing. His stomach dropped and he knew the Headmaster wasn't here for idle chit-chat and tea.
Surprisingly though it wasn't Dumbledore who spoke first but McGonagall. Her hair was messy and it looked as though she might have been crying. Another surge of terror ran down Harry's spine and he firmly planted his eyes on the tow, vowing not to leave until he knew what was wrong.
"Harry," McGonagall's voice was softer then usual, though it sounded a bit hoarse. His eyes flashed from Dumbledore over to her and he went to take a step forward but something held him to the floor and he waited stock still. "I'm afraid... I'm.." McGonagall's voice cracked and she paused for a long moment, finally taking a deep breath as she seemed to collect herself. When she looked back up, Harry could see a few crystalline tears rolled down her cheek and he was sure he was going to be sick. "I'm afraid we have some.. some rather bad news..." her voice trailed off into a faint whisper but it rang louder and louder in Harry's ears, echoing off the walls of his mind.
Before he even knew what happened Harry found himself running forward and grabbing ahold of McGonagall's arms, squeezing them a bit tighter than he probably should of and shaking her slightly. His breath came in ragged gasps and his jaw clenched, though his eyes remained as focused and powerful as ever.
"What!? What's happened!? Where are Ron and Hermione!? Are they safe!?" It all came tumbling out of him before he even knew what he was saying and his eyes traveled quickly between Dumbledore and his professor.
"Calm down Harry. I've been here the whole time and you know Ron went home to help his mother." Hermione was standing by Harry's side now and her eyes were full of concern for what was happening. She had seen Professor McGonagall have to explain to a student that their parents had been captured or killed now far to many times and she only hoped that that wasn't the reason she was here now. "Ron is ok isn't he?"
Professor McGonagall's eyes had widened as Harry had advanced on her and she struggled with his hands as she tried to loosen his grip. Her eyes flashed to Dumbledore and she was glad when Hermione had approached and Harry had released her. She rubbed her right arm and frowned a bit. She knew the boy had every right to act that way, but she didn't approve of it. She only hoped it wouldn't be much worse when she announced the news.
Harry had nodded at Hermione and then gave an appologetic look to Professor McGonagall, slightly embarrassed at his actions. But who could blame him? He had lost more then anyone else throughtout the war and his life. Nobody could understand what that felt like. His brows furrowed a bit and shot back up and he started to take a step forward but held himself back.
"What about Neville? Where is he?! Is he all right?"
"I can assure you Mr. Potter, that your friends are fine." Dumbledore's voice filled the room and seemed to put many of the students a bit more at ease. Harry, however, still stood his ground as he began to wish they would just tell him what happened already and stop toying with him. He felt his face burn with fear and rage but he stopped himself from lashing out at his professors. He didn't need to make a scene, that wouldn't help anything. He searched the room quickly, trying to think who else might be in trouble. He knew Dumbledore said his friends were fine but if that was true he wouldn't be here now, standing in front of him, staring at him from behind those half moon spectacles.
Professor McGonagall could feel Harry's un-easiness seeping from him and she turned her soft, dark eyes towards Dumbledore, noticing for the first time how tired he looked and how much his flowing beard and hair had lost their silver shine. She knew the war had been torture on him. Leading the Order was no easy task and Cornelius Fudge wasn't making it any easier. But that was not important now, what was important was Harry and his well being. She cleared her throat and tried to speak but found the words had escaped her. She struggled to find her voice and her eyes teared again. It was just too hard. Hagrid had been a loyal friend to them all, and now.. now "Oh Albus," she whispered.
"Don't worry Minerva," Dumbledore's voice was a bit hoarse itself and everyone seemed to notice it now, "I'll tell the boy." The old man's blue eyes seemed to tear a bit as well and he turned back to Harry, who was barely breathing by now. He motioned for Harry to sit down but Harry gave a firm shake of his head, despite Hermione's gentle tug on his cloak sleeve. Dumbledore respected his decision though and crossed his arms in front of his chest, staring down at Harry now with a trace of regret. If only he had gotten to know the boy better, then maybe his life wouldn't have been so hard. He felt as though he had let James and Lily down.
"Harry, as you know you're friend Hagrid had left some time ago to aid the Order in the fight against Voldemort."
Harry swallowed hard and thought his knees would give way.
"He had informed us that all was going well and that he would be making the final negotiations soon. But, unfortunately, my dear boy, all went horribly wrong and today I have the unpleasant business of informing you.."
Harry felt sick and he closed his eyes, wanting to wake up from this nightmare.
".. that Hagrid was murdered on his way to the meeting." Dumbledore's voice quivered a bit at the last words but he stayed strong. The news of Hagrid had affected him very much, but he had to stay strong now, for Harry's sake.
But Harry wasn't sure he'd need anyone to be strong for him much longer. His legs shook and his head swam. The room started to spin and the last words replayed over and over in Harry's mind. Hagrid's dead? he thought. It couldn't be. It wasn't! Harry was bound to wake up. He swallowed hard and fought of sickness as the knot in his stomach pulled tighter and tigher. "Please let it be a dream, please let it be a dream.." the words sounded off in Harry's head and did their best to wake him up from this nightmare... but they failed. It wasn't a dream. Hagrid was really dead. Harry took a shakey step back and felt a hand on his shoulder. He wasn't sure whose it was but he threw it off and stumbled back a bit more.
"No.. no it can't be.." Harry's voice cracked and his face burned. His head throbbed as his eyes lost focus and he turned quickly, nearly running into Hermione, who stood there in shock. Her mouth hung open the slightest bit and tears streamed down her face. She had hardly noticed that Harry had ran into her and when she did she reached out a hand, touching Harry lightly on the arm.
"Oh Harry.. I'm so sorry."
"No! Stop it! It's not real!" Harry yelled the words at the top of his voice. He knew it was and he turned around quickly. All he wanted now more then anything was to hide. He felt his eyes start to water and he ripped of his glasses, clamping a hand across his eyes. Why did everything have to happen to those he cared for and those who cared for him. It was as if some curse had been placed on him from birth so that anyone who ever got near him would die. He didn't want that to happen anymore. He couldn't let his friends die. He choked back a sob and quickly ran forward, feeling his way. He couldn't take his hands off his eyes. He was afraid of what would happen if he did. He ran past Professor McGonagall and Dumbledore, bumping into them as he pushed through the open portrait hole and went out into the halls. He needed to get away. Away from the common room. Away from the staring eyes. Away from everything.
Hermione had started to run after him but McGonagall placed a hand on her shoulder and held her back.
"No Ms. Granger. Let him go. He needs to be alone." Professor McGonagall looked down at Hermione, knowing how the girl must have felt. She wanted to go after Harry as well and make sure he'd be all right but she knew it would be better not to. She raised a weary hand and wiped the back of it across her eyes, watching as Hermione walked over to the fireplace and stared down into its light. Hermione raised a hand as well and wiped it across her eyes which had turned the same red as her face. After a quiet minute she looked back up, suddenly aware of all the students who had been watching them. Her brown eyes fought to avoid their stares and she glimpsed at the Headmaster and professor.
"Are you sure he'll be all right?"
"Positive Ms. Granger," Dumbledore's voice startled Hermione and she looked at him, feeling a bit of her tension ebb away at his voice, "it will just take some time."
With a small nod Hermione sniffed and took a step back, sitting on the edge of one of the armchairs. She heard Professor McGonagall and Professor Dumbledore whisper something to each other before their voices faded and the common room grew dark.
~*~
"Move over four-eyes!"
Harry jerked awake and peered over at Dudley's enormous form. He scooted towards the window a bit more, returning his gaze to the dull gray sky outside. He gave an inaudible sigh, rolling his eyes now and then as Dudley complained that he didn't have enough room. He wanted to say something but wasn't up for another one of Uncle Vernon's threats. He merely sat as close as he could to the door, feeling that he'd rather put up with crowded space then a whining Dudley.
"There there Dudleykins, it won't be long to Windmere." Aunt Petunia gave a crooked smile and turned back around in her seat, spreading a large map out on her lap.
"That's what you always say!"
Uncle Vernon gave a odd snort and a slight chuckle in the front as he backed the car out of the driveway. "Don't worry my boy, unless the roads are crowded we should be there in a couple of hours."
"A couple of hours!? You must be mad! I'm not going to sit in this car with him," he jerked his fat head towards Harry, "for two hours!"
Aunt Petunia gave a tired sigh and forced her thin mouth into a smile, gazing at Dudley through the car's side mirror. "Don't worry Duddy, he won't bother you," she gave a warning glance towards Harry but he ignored it, "and it's only for 2 hours. After that you can run around Windmere and you won't have to be anywhere near him."
Harry snorted and forced himself not to laugh or comment. Dudley? Run? She had to be kidding. He knew it was only a figure of speech but still even the mere thought made Harry's sides ache from not being able to laugh.
Aunt Petunia's dark eyes quickly shifted to Harry and pierced into him and she caught his tiny smirk. Her brows lowered and her face turned a bit red. "You have something you want to say boy?"
Harry raised his brows, retaining his bored expression however as he gave a dull shake of his head. He turned his attention back to the window as Aunt Petunia gave him what anyone else would considered a frightful look. He wasn't going to make any comments. Not yet. He'd wait until they got to Windmere where he had a place to go. He didn't want to stay trapped in the car with three angry muggles staring him down.
~*~
The world outside the car window flew past. Now and then a building would come into view and then turn into a streaking blur as they went by. The sky loomed over it all like a sheet of steel, cold and dark with little chance of the sun penetrating. Harry gave a sigh and turned forward, staring out the front window for a change. Beside him, Dudley was snoring and Harry couldn't help but notice how much he looked like a pig. He had always seen the resemblance, but now it was clearer then ever. And by the amount of weight he gained it was obvious his diet stopped soon after he'd returned to school.
"Are you sure you're going the right way?" Aunt Petunia's voice was strained and annoyance spread over her thin features. They had been like this since they left. Aunt Petunia would ask if he was going the right way and Uncle Vernon, like noe, would give a growl and mummbled a bit to himself. It would have been more amusing if they didn't lash at him. It was as if he had planned this. As if it was his fault.
Dudley stirred beside him and Harry poked him in the side, trying to keep him for falling over on him. He couldn't imagine what kind of torture it would be to be crushed alive, but he didn't want to find out. Dudley snorted and leaned the other way, swatting at Harry and slapping him in the arm. Harry huffed and rubbed his shoulder, turning his attention away from his obese cousin.
The voices of his aunt and uncle rose and dulled once more and a soothing instumental played over the radio. The corner of Harry's mouth turned into a frown and he wished more then anything that someone would come and take him away from all this. Towards the beginning he had been excited that he'd be getting to go on a trip, but Sirius's letter had ruined all that with a few simple words. What was he going to do now? He couldn't tell Ron and Hermione about all that was happening and he was sure Dudley would make him as miserable as possible. He'd just have to live it out.
Cars whirred past them in the opposite direction and Harry's tensed a bit, wondering what could make so many muggles leave a place so quickly. The summer holidays had only started a week or so ago, so they couldn't be ending their vacations already. Could they? Harry turned ideas over in his head. Maybe the lake was closed? No that wouldn't seem right. While Harry thought up possibilities he felt his body go cold and he reach to roll the window up. To his surprise though it was already up, as well as all the others. Harry opened his mouth but seemed to decide against asking if anyone else was cold. Then it hit him. A loud scream broke out in his head and his scar burned as though someone was poking his forehead with hot needles. He gasped and grabbed his head, as though covering his ears would close out the sound. It didn't. Harry managed to wretch one eye open and he looked all around him, trying to spot where the dementor was. His gaze fell upon Aunt Petunia and he noticed her mouth was open, but he couldn't hear her screaming. The only things he could hear were the pleas and screams of his mother, and a cold, high pitched laugh that echoed evily of the walls of his mind. He closed his eyes again and squeezed them shut, his body quivered and he weaved in and out of unconsciousness.
Then, right before Harry thought he would lose consnciousness, the screaming stopped nearly as suddenly as it had started. Harry's head swam and his hands fell limp and away from his head. Now his Aunt Petunia's enraged and frighten screams rang in his head and he winced a bit at their impact. Dudley had awoken sometime through it and stared at Harry as if he were mad.
"Snap out of it! Knock it off you little freak!" Aunt Petunia looked ghastly white and Harry was glad they were moving or else she might have kicked him out of the car and left him to walk to Windmere.
Uncle Vernon's face had again turned purple and looked like a large beet. His breath came in ragged, angry gasp and he shook very slightly, the fat of his cheeks and chins jiggling. "I told you boy! I told you I'd have none of your nonsense!"
"I couldn't help it!" Harry shot back, becoming rather upset himself.
"I won't hear of it!" Uncle Vernon swerved back onto his side of the road and seemed to speed up a bit. His hands clutched the wheel so tightly his knuckles turned white and the tips of his ears burned red.
"But..."
"I said I'd have no more!"
Harry sat back in his seat, crossing his arms angrily and staring at the back of Uncle Vernon's head, wishing it would inflate as Marge had his 3rd year. His body was covered in sweat though he still felt a bit sick and extremely cold. He knew he should have brought chocolate with him but it'd be of no help anyway as Dudley would surely eat it before Harry would even get a chance to take a bite.
~*~
When the car rolled into the drive along Windmere Lake Harry grabbed the latch of his seat belt, eager to get out and away from the Dursley's. He was sure the last 2 hours with them had been worse then all 16 years of his life put together and he wanted out!
Windmere wasn't a bad looking place over all. The smooth green lawns and gardens of the area reminded Harry of Privet Drive but the majestic forest on the far side of the crystal clear lake brought back memories of Hogwarts. The water of the lake now was the same inky black as that of the Hogwarts's lake and Harry felt his heart drop just a little. There was a good chance he wouldn't get to return to school this year. Harry couldn't bear to think of what that would be like. Dumbledore had shown great concern for Harry's well being towards the end of 6th year. He knew Hogwarts was one of the safest places in the wizarding world, but because of that reason he felt it would be a prime target. He couldn't let Harry stay. That was also, Harry suspected, why he couldn't talk to Ron and Hermione. Wherever he went, Voldemort would follow. If someone were to intercept a letter from Harry they'd surely be able to find where he was. And if not, they would always be able to read who it was addressed to and torture them until it came out. Harry had remembered how Sirius had scolded him in one letter for telling him the name of the lake. It hadn't made sense why then but Harry was starting to understand now.
The car came to a halt in front of a regal looking, 2 story cabin. Harry wasted no time in throwing the door open and jumping out of the car. He had only brought a few things with him. Some parchment, quills and ink, and a few books were all the Dursley's would allow. Harry had managed to sneak a few other things with him though, including his invisibility cloak. He had a feeling that might come in useful.
Harry had taken a few steps forward, his eyes taking in the scenery and storing it away. Two large willow trees bordered the edge of the driveway and created a sort of curtain, hiding all from view. Harry had a feeling the Dursley's did that on purpose. The sounds of rustling baggage and a complaining Dudley soon took place in the atmosphere and Harry shook his head, wondering if he'd be like Dudley had the Dursley's chosen to accept him. He quickly decided he wouldn't be though and took back to walking around.
A pair of yellow eyes watched the raven haired boy from within the shelter of a nearby hedge. A tabby colored tail flickered and a set of white claws retracted from their sheathes. Harry felt the hair on the back of his neck rise and he stopped dead in place. The slitted eyes watched as Harry's hand slowly crept down his side and she gave a small hiss, leaping out in the bushes before him. Harry hardly took notice of what it was and he brandished his wand in the blink of an eye, aiming it steadily at the small feline. Behind him he heard Aunt Petunia's shrill scream and he winced, shoving his wand back into his pocket with a sigh of relief. He wouldn't have that feeling for long though. In a matter of seconds, Uncle Vernon's bulky form had advanced upon him and grabbed hold of his hair. Harry's head jerked to the side and he growled, staring up into his uncle's beady black eyes.
"I TOLD YOU YOU WERE NOT TO BRING THAT THING! WHAT IF SOMEONE HAD SEEN YOU! WE DON'T NEED THESE PERFECT STRANGERS THINKING WE'RE SOME KIND OF FREAKS! YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE OF THOSE HERE!" The words tumbled out of Uncle Vernon's mouth and pelted Harry in the face. He swung at his uncle and missed, finding himself pushed backwards onto the ground. His face burned and he got up. His mind turned to hatred and he took a deep breath, trying to calm down before he did something he might regret later. He wanted to jump his uncle, to sneak up and hex him without warning. He couldn't risk it though. There were too many muggles around and he wasn't familiar with the area yet. He'd have to wait before such drastic measures were taken.
"Now go get your junk into the cabin," his uncle said without looking back. Junk? Harry huffed and glared at his uncle's head. Sure he'd get his junk.. in good time. He couldn't do it now though. He wasn't sure his willpower would last. The cat had vanished by now and Harry shook it off, turning foot and heading down a trodden path that lead down to the lake.
________________________________________
Author's Note: Nice to way to start a chapter aye? You can expect there to be many flashback sequences riddled throughout this story.