Black. The darkness that was within him was no outside of him as well.
Arian was no longer the pure being he had once been. He was tainted and it
was all because of him.
: It was my choice, love. And I wouldn't have it any other way. : Cas looked over at him and then quickly away. Deemer sat beside him looking back and forth between both of them, a quiet look in his eyes.
'You shouldn't have had to make that choice. You haven't even known me that long, you could still go back.' But Arian shook his head and nuzzled Cas's shoulder affectionately.
: We're bonded, you and I.: Cas leaned into the touch and reached a hand back to play with the ebony strands of his mane.
"I don't deserve you." Deemer raised an eyebrow at this and shook his head.
"I still say you're being to hard on yourself. You couldn't help what had been done to you and what you've been forced to do." Cas flicked his eyes over for a minute and then returned them to staring at the forest beyond the glow of their fire. He heard the older sigh. "You still won't even listen to me, will you?" Cas said nothing and Deemer finally got up and left.
: You mean something important to him. : Cas frowned.
'What do you mean?'
: I don't exactly, except his feelings change whenever he comes near you. It's a type of love. : The red head jerked up in shock and turned to watch the retreating back of Deemer.
Love? That man loved him? This was a little too much to handle!
: I don't mean it that way chosen. It is not the love of Partners. It's different. :
That still didn't do much to calm Cas down, and he curled up tight to Arian's side before trying to drift off to sleep. It was hard but soon the sound of singing all around him and Arian's constant presence allowed him to find rest.
***
Morning came too soon for him and it brought with it the sound of many voices, something he wasn't use to. His body tensed up, he cautiously moved away from Arian's side allowing the Companion to get up and stretch. Everywhere he looked, people were moving about, children playing and packing, adults organizing wagons and armed guards were moving about the camp. But none were human.
"Why where they here in the first place?"
"Looking for others like ourselves to bring back home." Deemer walked up to stand beside him, but kept some distance between them when he noticed the way Cas stiffened when hearing his voice. "A lot of these children we set loose from prisons and slavery."
Cas looked again over the crowd and noticed something different now about these people. Many were in different stages of healing, bandages covered most of the skin shown from underneath clothing and what wasn't covered was often shaded dark blue and black. Only the guards seemed whole.
Thinking of the scars covering his own body, Cas could sympathize with them. He turned to Deemer.
"So, where is home?" Deemer smiled.
"At the foot of the Mountains of Silver Beauty at the border of both Valdemar and Iftel. It's been protected by spells for years, but when the storms came, they were weakened almost to nothing." He was silent for time. "It was during those years that many of our children were taken in battle. We were something new to this world and humans wanted to own us."
"And you think we'll be safe there again?" Deemer nodded.
"Yes. There are many from Iftel who have helped replace the shields and guard our borders until we get back on our feet." Arian walked up at this time and Cas leaned back against his side, warmed from the morning sun. He no longer felt like talking. Deemer's words had brought with it images, images that Cas didn't want to deal with.
-a flash of light of the side of a blade-
-the blood covered his hands as he was carried away-
-the screaming-
-a crown falling down the steps to land forgotten on the ground-
They came in flashes and caused Cas to lean more heavily on Arian. He had always thought that his home had been with the lady in the forest. The one who said she was his mother, but didn't seem to care for him. The one with the man who always guarded him, but never let Cas see his face.
He had said long ago that Cas kept running, but he had never believed anything they said. Of course he kept running, but not because he was scared, but because he didn't want to go back.
'Back where? To them, or home?' Turning his head away from the light of day he stared into the glossy black of his Companion and never felt the tears that ran down his cheek, although Deemer was the one who wiped them away. No one said anything more as the group headed out and Cas sat atop Arian's back, not really seeing the world around him, lost in the maze within his own mind.
***
It was around noon when they stopped by a small river to cool off. Arian took them both down to the bank and drank his fill. Cas dangled his feet in the water from his spot on Arian's back.
: Why not go for a swim? : That seemed like a good idea and he took off his shirt before he dived in. The cool water felt good on his skin and he moved effortlessly through the water, swimming out to one of the larger rocks in the middle and resting on the part that protruded from the water.
He smiled slightly as he watched the children on the bank playing with each other. None of them seemed shy and Cas wondered what it must have been like for them, to finally find a family now. He laughed as he saw a little girl trick a young boy into falling into the water and come up spluttering and soaked. He turned his head to face more into the sun when something caught his eye.
His whole body went still and he looked carefully around.
There! It was just the flick of a tail under the surface of the water and it was headed towards the kids. As it rose closer to the surface he could see the creature clearly and after seeing the set of teeth it had Cas didn't waste a moment. He gave a warning shout to children and then dove for the creature, managing to grab its tail and stopping it in its tracks.
He didn't expect the quick lunge that accompanied his attack and was caught off guard when it sunk its teeth into his shoulder. He opened his mouth and started choking, forgetting for a moment that he was under water. Quickly he made his way to the surface fighting for a breath as the weight of thing tried to pull him down.
His claws couldn't get past its hide and it wasn't letting go of his shoulder. The pain hurt badly but the water was now shallow enough that he could touch bottom and still keep his head out of the water. Something large also made its way towards them and then the sound of hooves crashing against bone was heard and Cas was free. Arian stood there in the water, reared up and ready to strike again. Taking advantage of the distraction Cas lunged for it's head and dug his claws into its eyes.
It let out a horrid shriek and tried to pull itself loose but Cas wouldn't let go, so it did the last thing it could. Sinking it's teeth into a part of Cas's wrist it held on and dragged Cas out into deeper water and under.
'I can't get loose!'
: Hold on, Deemer is coming in after you with help! : Cas heard him, but was slowly losing consciousness. The loss of blood and the lack of oxygen were making quick work of him and he didn't even have the strength left to summon Rage. Even as the creature started to weaken from it's partly broken back and gouged eyes, Cas knew that he had no chance of getting to the surface in time and was about to let himself go.
: Don't you dare! : He held onto that voice as arms went around him and hands pried the teeth away from his wrist. Soon the surface came into view and he was able to gasp for breath. He didn't know who was holding him and right now he didn't care, all he wanted was dry land under him and bandages.
Then sleep.
Arian was there beside them and helped drag him to shore where he was immediately wrapped in blankets and placed on clean bedding. As the wounds were closed and stitched he lay there, eyes closed, panting for breath and trying to shake the memory of water all around him, cutting off his life. He was shaking badly, scared at the close encounter with death, but soon a small hand held his, offering comfort and he turned to see one of the kids sitting there with him. She was brushing back his hair and whispering softly to him.
"You saved us, and now your safe. Thank you." He held onto her hand until the vision of dark blue finally left his mind and he was made to drink something that placed him into a deep sleep, and still the children watched over him, knowing that he was the reason they were all still alive.
: It was my choice, love. And I wouldn't have it any other way. : Cas looked over at him and then quickly away. Deemer sat beside him looking back and forth between both of them, a quiet look in his eyes.
'You shouldn't have had to make that choice. You haven't even known me that long, you could still go back.' But Arian shook his head and nuzzled Cas's shoulder affectionately.
: We're bonded, you and I.: Cas leaned into the touch and reached a hand back to play with the ebony strands of his mane.
"I don't deserve you." Deemer raised an eyebrow at this and shook his head.
"I still say you're being to hard on yourself. You couldn't help what had been done to you and what you've been forced to do." Cas flicked his eyes over for a minute and then returned them to staring at the forest beyond the glow of their fire. He heard the older sigh. "You still won't even listen to me, will you?" Cas said nothing and Deemer finally got up and left.
: You mean something important to him. : Cas frowned.
'What do you mean?'
: I don't exactly, except his feelings change whenever he comes near you. It's a type of love. : The red head jerked up in shock and turned to watch the retreating back of Deemer.
Love? That man loved him? This was a little too much to handle!
: I don't mean it that way chosen. It is not the love of Partners. It's different. :
That still didn't do much to calm Cas down, and he curled up tight to Arian's side before trying to drift off to sleep. It was hard but soon the sound of singing all around him and Arian's constant presence allowed him to find rest.
***
Morning came too soon for him and it brought with it the sound of many voices, something he wasn't use to. His body tensed up, he cautiously moved away from Arian's side allowing the Companion to get up and stretch. Everywhere he looked, people were moving about, children playing and packing, adults organizing wagons and armed guards were moving about the camp. But none were human.
"Why where they here in the first place?"
"Looking for others like ourselves to bring back home." Deemer walked up to stand beside him, but kept some distance between them when he noticed the way Cas stiffened when hearing his voice. "A lot of these children we set loose from prisons and slavery."
Cas looked again over the crowd and noticed something different now about these people. Many were in different stages of healing, bandages covered most of the skin shown from underneath clothing and what wasn't covered was often shaded dark blue and black. Only the guards seemed whole.
Thinking of the scars covering his own body, Cas could sympathize with them. He turned to Deemer.
"So, where is home?" Deemer smiled.
"At the foot of the Mountains of Silver Beauty at the border of both Valdemar and Iftel. It's been protected by spells for years, but when the storms came, they were weakened almost to nothing." He was silent for time. "It was during those years that many of our children were taken in battle. We were something new to this world and humans wanted to own us."
"And you think we'll be safe there again?" Deemer nodded.
"Yes. There are many from Iftel who have helped replace the shields and guard our borders until we get back on our feet." Arian walked up at this time and Cas leaned back against his side, warmed from the morning sun. He no longer felt like talking. Deemer's words had brought with it images, images that Cas didn't want to deal with.
-a flash of light of the side of a blade-
-the blood covered his hands as he was carried away-
-the screaming-
-a crown falling down the steps to land forgotten on the ground-
They came in flashes and caused Cas to lean more heavily on Arian. He had always thought that his home had been with the lady in the forest. The one who said she was his mother, but didn't seem to care for him. The one with the man who always guarded him, but never let Cas see his face.
He had said long ago that Cas kept running, but he had never believed anything they said. Of course he kept running, but not because he was scared, but because he didn't want to go back.
'Back where? To them, or home?' Turning his head away from the light of day he stared into the glossy black of his Companion and never felt the tears that ran down his cheek, although Deemer was the one who wiped them away. No one said anything more as the group headed out and Cas sat atop Arian's back, not really seeing the world around him, lost in the maze within his own mind.
***
It was around noon when they stopped by a small river to cool off. Arian took them both down to the bank and drank his fill. Cas dangled his feet in the water from his spot on Arian's back.
: Why not go for a swim? : That seemed like a good idea and he took off his shirt before he dived in. The cool water felt good on his skin and he moved effortlessly through the water, swimming out to one of the larger rocks in the middle and resting on the part that protruded from the water.
He smiled slightly as he watched the children on the bank playing with each other. None of them seemed shy and Cas wondered what it must have been like for them, to finally find a family now. He laughed as he saw a little girl trick a young boy into falling into the water and come up spluttering and soaked. He turned his head to face more into the sun when something caught his eye.
His whole body went still and he looked carefully around.
There! It was just the flick of a tail under the surface of the water and it was headed towards the kids. As it rose closer to the surface he could see the creature clearly and after seeing the set of teeth it had Cas didn't waste a moment. He gave a warning shout to children and then dove for the creature, managing to grab its tail and stopping it in its tracks.
He didn't expect the quick lunge that accompanied his attack and was caught off guard when it sunk its teeth into his shoulder. He opened his mouth and started choking, forgetting for a moment that he was under water. Quickly he made his way to the surface fighting for a breath as the weight of thing tried to pull him down.
His claws couldn't get past its hide and it wasn't letting go of his shoulder. The pain hurt badly but the water was now shallow enough that he could touch bottom and still keep his head out of the water. Something large also made its way towards them and then the sound of hooves crashing against bone was heard and Cas was free. Arian stood there in the water, reared up and ready to strike again. Taking advantage of the distraction Cas lunged for it's head and dug his claws into its eyes.
It let out a horrid shriek and tried to pull itself loose but Cas wouldn't let go, so it did the last thing it could. Sinking it's teeth into a part of Cas's wrist it held on and dragged Cas out into deeper water and under.
'I can't get loose!'
: Hold on, Deemer is coming in after you with help! : Cas heard him, but was slowly losing consciousness. The loss of blood and the lack of oxygen were making quick work of him and he didn't even have the strength left to summon Rage. Even as the creature started to weaken from it's partly broken back and gouged eyes, Cas knew that he had no chance of getting to the surface in time and was about to let himself go.
: Don't you dare! : He held onto that voice as arms went around him and hands pried the teeth away from his wrist. Soon the surface came into view and he was able to gasp for breath. He didn't know who was holding him and right now he didn't care, all he wanted was dry land under him and bandages.
Then sleep.
Arian was there beside them and helped drag him to shore where he was immediately wrapped in blankets and placed on clean bedding. As the wounds were closed and stitched he lay there, eyes closed, panting for breath and trying to shake the memory of water all around him, cutting off his life. He was shaking badly, scared at the close encounter with death, but soon a small hand held his, offering comfort and he turned to see one of the kids sitting there with him. She was brushing back his hair and whispering softly to him.
"You saved us, and now your safe. Thank you." He held onto her hand until the vision of dark blue finally left his mind and he was made to drink something that placed him into a deep sleep, and still the children watched over him, knowing that he was the reason they were all still alive.