Authors'Notes After a bit of a hiatus, we have returned with more of our epic saga "The Band Geek Strikes Back." Now in full stereo and Technicolor! You can purchase the soundtrack (recorded in stereo separation) from us at www.moredeadromandudes.trajan.com! Oh yes…we're supposed to be telling a story here…on with it, then!
Lola looked up at the towering building above her. Taking a deep drag on her inhaler, she slowly breathed out and steadied her nerves. Gripping the line she had cast upward, she began to scale the north side or the building. As she ascended, she talked to herself.
"Handholds…footholds…don't look down…. Hmmm…what a nice building…high quality granite, flying buttresses a nice touch…don't look down…" This self-pep talk seemed to help her to conquer her deathly fear of heights. She was a good halfway up when suddenly, one tightly-laced combat boot slipped on a particularly smooth piece of granite. Down went Lola…
Her worst fears realized, Lola prepared to die an awful death on the pavement below. As she fell, one thought filled her mind. I forgot to feed my fish! She saw the pavement rushing up at her… This is what I'm thinking before I die?! What about my undying devotion to Jeb? Alas, a love that could never be! With this last thought, Lola shut her eyes…
Francis lowered his camera and admired the scenery. Having only arrived in Egypt a few hours ago, he decided that he was going to do all his sight seeing before he went to look for the conspirators against Jeb. The pyramids at sunset sure were nice…
Well, it sure was nice, but he had work to do. Heading back into town, he decided to rent a camel. They seemed to be the hip mode of transportation here in the desert. He stopped by the local Rent-A-Camel and borrowed a very nice camel named Bill. As he was making his way through town, munching a squab-on-a-stick, he ran headlong into another mounted rider.
"Hey! Watch it man! This ain't my camel!" Francis looked up angrily at the offensive rider. To his shock, he realized that it was the woman he'd met in France. She seemed to remember him too, and simultaneously they yelled,
"You!" The woman looked angry.
"Just when I get rid of one rat, another comes along!" Francis did not quite understand her snide remark, and looked at her with a confused stare.
"You hurt Bill!" he exclaimed.
"I did no such thing. You ran your camel into me." Francis took offense to this, and very unwisely decided to kick the woman in the shin. When he saw her hand move to the pistol she wore, he turned and kicked his camel into high gear.
"Come back here you pansy!" Lara shouted. She wasted no time in giving chase. Kicking up a large cloud of dust, she followed Francis through crowded back alleys and narrow streets. Francis, now terrified of what this madwoman would do to him if she caught him, guided his camel up a narrow ramp. Looking over his shoulder, he saw her close behind. Not having taken the time to figure out where the ramp he had taken led to, he found himself on top of a high roof. He had no time to stop, and went skidding right off the edge. Lara came to a halt and watched as Francis, camel and all fell into the dusty street below.
Zelda and Melvin sat anxiously in their cave in Afghanistan awaiting a message from Lola. The were both quite worried, as they knew that if they did not hear from Lola soon, they could assume the worst had happened…Lola had been captured by Jeb. Zelda tapped her laptop impatiently. As she tapped, she looked discreetly at Melvin. He looked very tired. She had never noticed how nice his eyes were…kind of a pale blue, accented by the deep bags underneath. He was staring intently at the wall. She glanced over and saw nothing but dripping water. She glanced back at her laptop. Still no word from Lola.
She glanced back at the monotonously dripping water, and noticed that now it was dripping faster, and the drops were getting bigger. Melvin did not seem to notice, just blinked those blue eyes of his. In fact, he seemed to be falling asleep.
Bored, Zelda flipped to the internet newspaper. In large print the headline read,
United States Military to Flood Caves in Afghanistan
She looked nervously back over at the dripping water, which had now become a steady stream. With a shock of horror, she turned to Mel and screamed,
"MEL! WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE! THEY'RE FLOODING THE CAVES!!!" Mel looked at her, blinked, and went back to staring at the wall. A few seconds passed, then her announcement seemed to register.
"OH MY GOD! WE'RE GOING TO DROWN! QUICK! HOW DO WE GET OUT!!!?" Zelda had to think for a second about this.
"Uh…straight forward, then left…no, maybe it was right…I don't know! I can't remember!" Tears filled her eyes. She had not planned on dying in a cave in Afghanistan…especially not at the hands of her own country's military! Suddenly, the water rose to ankle-depth and was still coming in fast. Zelda grabbed her laptop and sprinted for the nearest exit (which happened to be straight and to the left). Melvin was not far behind. As they ran through mazelike tunnels, Melvin became more and more panicked. He was going to die! He grabbed Zelda's hand and led her on. They burst into a small antechamber. They were trapped. He pulled Zelda around to face him.
"Zelda," he began. The water was rushing in. "We are going to die here, and I just want you to know that I'm very sorry for getting you into all this. I also want you to know…" he trailed off as he felt the cold water rise to his chest. Zelda was holding her laptop over her head. Her eyes were full of worry.
"What, Melvin? We don't have time for this!" Melvin suddenly felt ill. Here he was, about to die, and he didn't even have the guts to tell Zelda that he adored her ore than Marie Curie adored radioactivity.
"Zelda, I… oh, screw it!" And then, in the single bravest action he'd ever performed in his life, he grabbed Zelda and mashed his lips into hers. To his surprise, she kissed him back. Shocked and quite pleasantly surprised, Mel forgot all about the rising water and their impending doom. The two were so distracted that they didn't even notice the bright light overhead, or the faint whirring noise that was getting louder…
Ha! And you were expecting a nice, happy ending to this chapter! Well, not so fast. You'll just have to keep reading… Oh yes, we had a complaint or two that this fic did not involve enough band. So, if nerdy bandos and annoying clarinets aren't band enough for you, here is a real, live marching band drill!
Mark time 4, In 16, mark time 48, in 24, home 12, mark time 8, home 8, mark time 16, home 8, mark time 4, to concert.
Any other complaints will be disregarded and immediately flushed! (But nice, friendly reviews are very welcome J)