Authors' Notes: Well, we're not dead (sorry to disappoint you.) In fact we're doing quite well and even have more band geek. So without further adieu, here is the next exciting installment in our epic er, short story.
Melvin and Zelda stood in the middle of a cornfield, slightly dazed. Overhead a dim green light was fading into the distance. Mel looked at Zelda carefully. She did not look hurt, but she seemed afraid.
"Are you alright?" he asked. Zelda blinked.
"Fine. But I can't remember anything. Just a bunch of lights. Kind of like a crazy disco or something." She shifted her shoulders a bit and winced. "I feel like I've been dancing all night." Mel frowned. He seemed to remember wild lights and loud music as well. And somewhere in there he could have sworn he saw some little green men. Or was it grey? He wasn't sure.
"Zelda, I think we were abducted by aliens." Zelda's eyes grew huge.
"Well, that would explain the light and flying saucer."
"I don't understand why they made us dance though." Zelda chewed her lip in thought.
"Maybe they just were lonely and wanted to have a good time." Melvin shrugged. They hadn't been harmed in any way. Perhaps Zelda was right.
"Well, whatever happened, we aren't in Afghanistan any more. We need to find out where we are." He looked around. The cornfield was huge, tall stalks stretching as far as he could see. He looked up at the sky, until he found the brightest star. He pointed.
"If I knew how to navigate by the stars we could follow the north star and get somewhere. But I don't." He looked at Zelda, suddenly afraid.
"We're lost!"
Bill the camel, ever faithful, licked the face of the unconscious Francis for the twenty-first time. The teenager showed no sign of waking up, but seemed to be enjoying the attention, because he would giggle whenever Bill licked him. Suddenly, Bill was interrupted by a low humming and bright green light. As the camel watched helplessly, Francis' motionless body slowly began to levitate.
The confused camel looked up as Francis began to ascend. Overhead something that vaguely resembled a flying dinner plate hovered. Francis was slowly being sucked in by a tractor beam! When Francis disappeared inside the saucer, Bill lowered his head and gave what could very accurately be described as a sob.
Jebediah sighed and put his feet on his desk. In the process, he nearly kicked out the wall. With a sigh he stood up and nearly cracked his head open on the light fixture.
"This office is too small! I need more leg room! Dingles! Get in here!" A flustered Mr. Dingles ran in and saluted.
"Yes my liege! Anything you wish for! I live to serve." He bowed his head, awaiting orders.
"My office is too small, Dingles. I want a new one. Find me a new office!" Dingles looked up.
"Right away, sir. Anything else I can do for you?" Jeb stroked his chin in deep thought.
"No. But my new HQ must have a pool. And I want it full of thousand island salad dressing." Dingles looked at him curiously. A pool full of thousand island dressing? How curious!
"Of course, your highness. Right away." Dingles hurried off, already dialing numbers on his cell phone.
Jeb carefully resumed his seat and picked his clarinet up from where it sat on the desk. Stroking it lovingly, he chanted his word domination plans over and over again.
"I'm going to take over the world, aren't I? Yesss… and no pesky saxophonists will stop me…yesss, precioussss….world domination…"
Lola, who had been falling for what felt to her like an eternity, landed with a sticky splat in something wet and viscous. The stuff filled her eyes and coated her clothing and she choked as she inhaled some. Sitting up, she was pleasantly surprised to find that she was not dead. In fact, she seemed completely unharmed. She spat out some of the goo she had landed in and realized that it tasted familiar. Picking some up on her finger she sniffed at it, then put it in her mouth. She realized that it was salad dressing…thousand island to be exact.
She wiped more of it out of her eyes and peered over the edge of the truck bed. They were moving very fast, too fast for her to jump out. Deciding that wherever they were going might have a place to get some of the dressing off of her, she leaned back against the truck bed and settled in for a long ride.
Jeb looked around his new headquarters with a satisfied smirk. Buckingham Palace sure was a nice place. And it even had a pool! The interior, however, would need a bit of work. But that could be done in time. Right now he had to supervise the filling of his pool with thousand island dressing.
He walked outside onto the pool deck and watched as the large dump truck spilled gallons dressing into the empty pool. His one true dream was fulfilled now. He had a pool full of thousand island salad dressing. He produced a very rumpled piece of paper and and a pen. At the top of the paper, the words "Dreams to Fulfill" was written. He crossed of number two. Most everything else was crossed off as well, except the first line. But that would come soon. Now that he was in charge of the world, he could have everything he wanted.
As the truck finished dumping, a splatter of thousand island dressing hit him in the face. Miffed, he was about to yell at Dingles to yell at the truck driver when he saw a figure coming out of the pool. Though coated thoroughly with salad dressing, he instinctively knew who it was. As the person tried to scrape off some of the gook, his suspicions were confirmed. His heart sped up, pounding like an out of control locomotive racing at terrific speed toward a rickety old bridge without any chance of…well, his heart was really pounding. Hardly daring to believe what stood before him, he said,
"Lola?" The person's head turned. There was a long pause (due mostly to the fact that she was still trying to get the dressing out of her eyes and off of her glasses) and she spoke.
"Jeb?"
Note: We don't know what noise a camel makes. If you know, please be kind and share your knowledge. (You might even get your name in the credits!) Also we haven't been to Buckingham Palace either so we're just kind of making stuff up.