How Far?
Chapter Ten: Hunger
Disclaimer: Same as always.
Hunger. Hunger is often associated with food. Hunger to me can mean that, and it also too can mean a yearning or strong desire for something. I have a hunger or desire to be with Gordo. It's kind of creepy if I look at my situation from an outsider's point of view, but there's nothing I can do about it. I just can't wake up one day and tell myself I don't like Gordo, it's impossible because I still have that hunger or desire for him and only having him can make it go away.
My mom picked me up after I had detention. She had been informed by Principal Reynolds. At first she thought it was one of her co-workers making a prank call to her cell phone, but she soon learned it wasn't. Needless to say, the car ride was very silent. I had never seen mom so mad in her life. Mom could be mad, I mean everyone can, even those people with the fake façades that make them seem like Miss Mary Sunshine everyday of their lives, but mom was never this mad. I felt ashamed. Ashamed that I even got into a fight and ashamed that basically my reason for trying to kick Taylor's ass was because of Gordo and how she threatened to tell Matt.
I was now sitting in my room looking over my notes from Algebra. They didn't look like algebra notes, they looked like the doodles of a love sick girl who idolized a teeny bopper pop icon and was star struck by him. Even though I was ashamed of myself, I couldn't stop loving Gordo. Whenever I try to clear my head of my thoughts and fantasies involving him and I tell myself how he controls my actions and thoughts, I'm almost finally over him, I'm so close, but he has this charm to him, which makes me forget about why I tried to get over him in the first place. He's like a drug, you try to stop doing it, but then it has this allure to it which makes it more desirable than before.
My sister was on her bed chatting mindlessly to her demented playmate about all of the "geeks" and how my sister and she practically ruled the sixth grade. I felt sorry for my sister, I felt sorry that she was too caught up in her twisted and bloated ego to realize she was just another face in the crowd. No one is perfect, it's humanly impossible because everyone has a different perspective of what's perfect; beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Its weird how that works out isn't it?
"And then, Ray, you know the one whose brother dumped my ugly sister, asked me out! And of course I said yes! He is so cute," She exclaimed while scrunching her nose.
Was it the Henderson family who wanted to have the girls of the Bianco family wallow in their self pity after being dumped by one of them?
Jimmy Henderson, my second boyfriend. Normally a girl doesn't remember her second boyfriend; her first one is usually more memorable. Well, this one is memorable because Jimmy gave me my first and so far only broken heart. There was just something about him that allured him to me. He was truly the definition of "irresistible". Jimmy has your stereotypical air-headed, conceited jock. I was lucky enough to go out with him; I made all of the other minions who followed him around like puppies jealous. I was so damn proud of myself; I made the whole 7th grade female student body jealous of me. I myself was twisted in my ego because I was going out with Jimmy. Then after two months of being in an alternate universe, I came crashing down to reality when Jimmy broke up with me. He said that he would take me to the eight grade formal, so it was better than not going with him. Then he ditched me for Matt's date, Larissa Tompkins, the second most popular girl in the seventh grade, then Matt and I formed alliance and rained on their parade, literally, by dumping the whole punch bowl on them. It was great, except for the fact that we were banned from the rest of the dances.
I wished that I could have gone with Gordo, but I tried to fill the emptiness of not having him with Jimmy. It lasted for two months, so it did work. Now, his relationship with Lizzie was on the rocks, he considers me a mutual friend, and he's weak right now. Wait, what am I thinking? I don't want to hurt him, but I don't wish to feel the emptiness and wanting anymore, I want to have him for my own. He wouldn't understand about pain and anguish; he's never wanted something he can't have.
He probably won't know the feeling of wanting and yearning. Lizzie has been in front of him his whole life, he could have had her ages ago, but they both had to come to terms with their romantic feelings towards each other before they pursued a relationship filled with lies. Lizzie never got over Ethan, as much as Gordo wanted to believe it, he never did. Ethan became very alluring to Lizzie; she wanted what she couldn't have. She's been having an ongoing affair with Ethan since eleventh grade, and Gordo had been oblivious to the entire thing until Miranda informed him.
I always have looked up to Miranda; she's always been a non-conformist while Lizzie is a tragic wannabe who would have jumped off a bridge to be in the in crowd, but she didn't have to after Kate moved to New York in tenth grade, because Claire had no power, even though she was thought out to be a pure bitch, it was a fake façade covering her own insecurities. Lizzie then seized the opportunity which caused Miranda to get angry with Lizzie. Miranda didn't want her best friend to become a mindless trendoid who only cared about superficial traits, degrading weaker peers, and rejecting the nerds who asked them out. Gordo, who was caught in the middle, he took Lizzie's side because she was his girlfriend, he still was on speaking terms with Miranda, but Lizzie hasn't talked to her since tenth grade.
It's weird how Miranda and Lizzie broke their friendship for something as silly as that. I mean, you're supposed to be friends through thick and thin and all that other shit. Friendship is something you should cherish and not take for granted. I know that sounds corny, but it's true. You'll only appreciate something once it's gone and then it won't be there anymore, and then what are you going to do except wallow in your self pity? I appreciate Gordo; I don't take him for granted, while Lizzie does because she's a snotty bitch. Oh well, she has Ethan, the two of them can go bask in their stupidity and superficiality for all I care, which I hope it will happen so I can have Gordo for myself. It better happen sometime soon or I don't know what I'll do.
[A/N: Yes, I have updated! I found my muse in a song from the 80's. Go thank all of the recording artists from the eighty's. This chapter is kind of fillerish, but that's okay, I'm trying to stretch out the story. I'm hoping to be done by the end of February or beginning of March, but I think I'm pushing it to the end of March just to be safe. As always, please review with your thoughts. Thank you.]
Chapter Ten: Hunger
Disclaimer: Same as always.
Hunger. Hunger is often associated with food. Hunger to me can mean that, and it also too can mean a yearning or strong desire for something. I have a hunger or desire to be with Gordo. It's kind of creepy if I look at my situation from an outsider's point of view, but there's nothing I can do about it. I just can't wake up one day and tell myself I don't like Gordo, it's impossible because I still have that hunger or desire for him and only having him can make it go away.
My mom picked me up after I had detention. She had been informed by Principal Reynolds. At first she thought it was one of her co-workers making a prank call to her cell phone, but she soon learned it wasn't. Needless to say, the car ride was very silent. I had never seen mom so mad in her life. Mom could be mad, I mean everyone can, even those people with the fake façades that make them seem like Miss Mary Sunshine everyday of their lives, but mom was never this mad. I felt ashamed. Ashamed that I even got into a fight and ashamed that basically my reason for trying to kick Taylor's ass was because of Gordo and how she threatened to tell Matt.
I was now sitting in my room looking over my notes from Algebra. They didn't look like algebra notes, they looked like the doodles of a love sick girl who idolized a teeny bopper pop icon and was star struck by him. Even though I was ashamed of myself, I couldn't stop loving Gordo. Whenever I try to clear my head of my thoughts and fantasies involving him and I tell myself how he controls my actions and thoughts, I'm almost finally over him, I'm so close, but he has this charm to him, which makes me forget about why I tried to get over him in the first place. He's like a drug, you try to stop doing it, but then it has this allure to it which makes it more desirable than before.
My sister was on her bed chatting mindlessly to her demented playmate about all of the "geeks" and how my sister and she practically ruled the sixth grade. I felt sorry for my sister, I felt sorry that she was too caught up in her twisted and bloated ego to realize she was just another face in the crowd. No one is perfect, it's humanly impossible because everyone has a different perspective of what's perfect; beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Its weird how that works out isn't it?
"And then, Ray, you know the one whose brother dumped my ugly sister, asked me out! And of course I said yes! He is so cute," She exclaimed while scrunching her nose.
Was it the Henderson family who wanted to have the girls of the Bianco family wallow in their self pity after being dumped by one of them?
Jimmy Henderson, my second boyfriend. Normally a girl doesn't remember her second boyfriend; her first one is usually more memorable. Well, this one is memorable because Jimmy gave me my first and so far only broken heart. There was just something about him that allured him to me. He was truly the definition of "irresistible". Jimmy has your stereotypical air-headed, conceited jock. I was lucky enough to go out with him; I made all of the other minions who followed him around like puppies jealous. I was so damn proud of myself; I made the whole 7th grade female student body jealous of me. I myself was twisted in my ego because I was going out with Jimmy. Then after two months of being in an alternate universe, I came crashing down to reality when Jimmy broke up with me. He said that he would take me to the eight grade formal, so it was better than not going with him. Then he ditched me for Matt's date, Larissa Tompkins, the second most popular girl in the seventh grade, then Matt and I formed alliance and rained on their parade, literally, by dumping the whole punch bowl on them. It was great, except for the fact that we were banned from the rest of the dances.
I wished that I could have gone with Gordo, but I tried to fill the emptiness of not having him with Jimmy. It lasted for two months, so it did work. Now, his relationship with Lizzie was on the rocks, he considers me a mutual friend, and he's weak right now. Wait, what am I thinking? I don't want to hurt him, but I don't wish to feel the emptiness and wanting anymore, I want to have him for my own. He wouldn't understand about pain and anguish; he's never wanted something he can't have.
He probably won't know the feeling of wanting and yearning. Lizzie has been in front of him his whole life, he could have had her ages ago, but they both had to come to terms with their romantic feelings towards each other before they pursued a relationship filled with lies. Lizzie never got over Ethan, as much as Gordo wanted to believe it, he never did. Ethan became very alluring to Lizzie; she wanted what she couldn't have. She's been having an ongoing affair with Ethan since eleventh grade, and Gordo had been oblivious to the entire thing until Miranda informed him.
I always have looked up to Miranda; she's always been a non-conformist while Lizzie is a tragic wannabe who would have jumped off a bridge to be in the in crowd, but she didn't have to after Kate moved to New York in tenth grade, because Claire had no power, even though she was thought out to be a pure bitch, it was a fake façade covering her own insecurities. Lizzie then seized the opportunity which caused Miranda to get angry with Lizzie. Miranda didn't want her best friend to become a mindless trendoid who only cared about superficial traits, degrading weaker peers, and rejecting the nerds who asked them out. Gordo, who was caught in the middle, he took Lizzie's side because she was his girlfriend, he still was on speaking terms with Miranda, but Lizzie hasn't talked to her since tenth grade.
It's weird how Miranda and Lizzie broke their friendship for something as silly as that. I mean, you're supposed to be friends through thick and thin and all that other shit. Friendship is something you should cherish and not take for granted. I know that sounds corny, but it's true. You'll only appreciate something once it's gone and then it won't be there anymore, and then what are you going to do except wallow in your self pity? I appreciate Gordo; I don't take him for granted, while Lizzie does because she's a snotty bitch. Oh well, she has Ethan, the two of them can go bask in their stupidity and superficiality for all I care, which I hope it will happen so I can have Gordo for myself. It better happen sometime soon or I don't know what I'll do.
[A/N: Yes, I have updated! I found my muse in a song from the 80's. Go thank all of the recording artists from the eighty's. This chapter is kind of fillerish, but that's okay, I'm trying to stretch out the story. I'm hoping to be done by the end of February or beginning of March, but I think I'm pushing it to the end of March just to be safe. As always, please review with your thoughts. Thank you.]