How Far?

Chapter Fourteen: Crumble

Disclaimer: I do not own Lizzie McGuire.

Warning: There is violence in this chapter, if you do not wish to read this chapter because of that, then don't.

I walked down the winding streets, while it rained harder and harder. I started rethinking what I was about to do. Was it worth it? I don't really know. Will I get caught? Well, no, because I'll be dead too. Gordo and I will be together. We may be dead, but we'll be together. I knew he was home alone today. I overheard him talking to Lizzie about his parents going to some convention. It was perfect. Nothing could go wrong, absolutely nothing. I would get rid of my problem and take away my emptiness that I have had for the longest time.

Splash.

I got drenched by an idiot driving by in a red Volkswagen beetle. Can't you see that I'm on my way to kill someone and myself?! You think people could be more observant, but no. Some people are blind and oblivious to everything. I hate people like that. I absolutely do. Some people are so blind to something that's two inches away from them. Maybe if they opened their eyes they would see it, but no. They're just idiots.

The rain started pouring harder and harder. Thunder boomed loudly and lightning flickered like a thousand lights. Tonight was going to be straight out one of those psychotic murder movies. Sweet, I always loved those types of movies. Yet again, that probably says a lot about me as a person. Oh well, I really don't care. Nothing mattered; except I was soon going to be dead and all of my problems were going to be gone. The situation started becoming more and more complicated. Would it hurt to die? Would it hurt Gordo? Oh god, I'm starting to crumble. Get a hold of yourself, Melina. This is the way it's going to be and it's going to happen. If you can't have Gordo, no one else will. Lizzie doesn't deserve him, Parker didn't deserve him, nor did Brooke. He's better than any of those mindless idiots. Especially Lizzie. Parker was just too stupid to realize she liked him until it was too late, and I really don't know Brooke, but she probably isn't good enough for him. Lizzie will cry and weep. Boo hoo, who gives a rat's ass about Lizzie? She's a whore. She had something good and she messed it up. She's an idiot. 

I came closer and closer to Gordo's house. I started having this weird feeling. I really couldn't describe it. I just couldn't. My body and mind felt numb with fear and confusion. I stopped in my tracks and stared at the deep cobalt sky as a shower of rain ran down my face. I could feel my salty tears run down my face as did the droplets of rain.

Now I was at the front of Gordo's house. Standing on the porch. I stood as still as a statue. I felt my slicker to see if I could feel the gun. It was still there. Good, there was no backing down now.

Ring.

I rang the doorbell and heard footsteps come towards the door. The door creaked open and in the door way stood Gordo in an oversized tee shirt and blue plaid pajama pants.

"Melina, what are you doing here," he asked as he scratched his head in confusion.

Think Melina, think. Think of an excuse.

"I was walking around the neighborhood and it started to rain. And I really didn't want to go back home, so here I am," I chuckled nervously.

"Are you in fight with your parents," he asked raising an eyebrow.

"Parent, my dad died when I was younger," I said sadly.

"Oh, I'm sorry, come in," he said as he led me into the living room. He closed the door and sat on the black leather couch, while I sat in a white leather recliner to the side of it. I looked at Gordo, who appeared to be watching a movie. He laid silently and peacefully with a fleece blanket draped over him and a pillow under his head. I sat with my rain slicker off and it draped behind me. My wet blonde hair was up in a messy ponytail and was soaking wet.

"What are you watching," I asked shyly.

"The Royal Tenebaums," he said sleepily. "Do you want popcorn or something?"

"Nah, I'm fine," I said awkwardly.

"Well, I'm going to get some soda, I'll be back in a few," he said as he got up.

Gordo walked into the kitchen. I fumbled around to find the gun behind the slicker. Perfect, I was going to get rid of everything once and for all. I stood up, and faced towards the kitchen, holding the shiny, metallic gun. I saw him starting to walk towards me.

"Melina, if you want you can—

He stood there in silence, with his mouth open wide. His arms collapsed at his side as the cup of soda collapsed to the floor, the soda spilled and the cup tumbled around on the floor.

"Don't move a muscle, we have tons to talk about," I said diabolically.

He looked like a deer stuck in the middle of the road. He stared at the gun. I saw his body shake in fear.

"What's the meaning of this? Why did you come over here? To kill me," he stuttered nervously.

I chuckled, "My, my, you're a very a smart boy. But you can be so dumb sometimes. You never thought Lizzie was cheating on you. *I* knew. You never knew what pain and suffering is. *I* do. You have never wanted something so badly, that you would kill for it, *I* will."

"What are you talking about? Are you a lesbian? Do you want Lizzie," He said sarcastically.

"If you're so inquisitive, you're probably wondering if this gun has bullets," I chuckled.

I had no clue what had gone over me. It was like I split into two different Melina's. One Melina has kind and nice, while the other was evil and diabolical. I couldn't control my emotions. Stop, I kept telling myself. Stop talking, stop talking, put the gun down and get out of there before you do something you might regret. Just don't do something stupid. I couldn't, my diabolical state of mind controlled my actions. As much as I tried to put the gun down and run out, I wanted to see someone suffer like I did.

Bang.

I didn't know what I had done. I pulled the trigger and the bullet went sailing towards Gordo, but it missed him completely and hit a vase. The vase shattered into pieces, all jagged and uneven.

"What the HELL is your problem Melina," he screamed angrily. "What are you trying to do to me? I never did anything to you."

Clear, salty tears ran down his face as his chin quivered. I looked at him as he wiped the tears from his cheeks. I wanted to stop. I had done enough by just scaring him, but the devil on my left shoulder kicked the angel that was on the right. I held the gun still towards him.

"You have no clue how much I love you," I said as I dropped the gun on the floor.

I wanted to slap myself for being such an idiot. I told him. Why the hell did I tell him?

"What? What are you talking about," He said puzzled as he shook his head.

"Are you *blind*? Have you seen how I stare at you or try to be close to you? You're so stupid; you don't know the pain I have been through because of you. I have wanted you for so long. But, NO! You were too wrapped up in your little Lizzie problems. Oh, poor Lizzie McGuire. Let's all go cry and weep for poor Lizzie McGuire, someone who should have gotten knocked up by Ethan Craft a long time ago. No, bad things happen to *good* people like me. Yes, people who work hard in life, people who strive to get what they want, instead of being handed them on a damn platter," I snapped.

He looked puzzled and dumbfounded, trying to absorb all of what I had told him. He stared at me in disbelief of what I had told him.

"Do you seriously expect me to believe that? I mean, you come into my house appearing helpless and sad, I take you in. Then, you pull a gun on me, and almost kill me. Now you're telling that you love me," he blurted out in disbelief.

"Yes I do, because every word of it is true. You are a horrible person, Gordo, I thought maybe you would be flattered, or even consider having feelings towards me, but no, you have a worthless girlfriend who doesn't give a shit about you," I cried tearfully.

"Lizzie loves me, Lizzie loves me, sure she makes mistakes, but everyone does, some more than others," he snapped at me.

"Hmm, I'm sorry, I'm the mindless idiot who still loves his piece of shit girlfriend," I snapped back.

We were locked in a battle of wits and comebacks. One tried to outdo the other.

"If I'm a mindless idiot, then you're pretty brain dead yourself," he chuckled as locked eyes with me.

"What are you talking about," I said confused.

"Hmm, let's think. Your best guy friend likes you and you are completely and utterly oblivious to it. If that's not brain dead, I don't know what is," he said angrily.

I didn't know what to say. I looked at him coldly. Gordo must have been a great liar to make something like that up just to surpass me. He seriously must have been a cruel person to that. Maybe he wasn't lying. Lanny would have told me if he did think of me in that way, he's not one to bottle up his emotions. While Matt is one to do so. I was in over my head; I was so much that I couldn't get myself out. I looked at the gun; it was my ticket out of this mess. I picked it up an examined it.

"Melina, what are you doing," he asked anxiously.

"Goodbye, I love you Gordo," I said sadly. Before I knew it, it was all over. All over but the crying.

[A/N: There are about five chapters I want to have before the story is officially over. Did this suck? Please tell me in a review, thank you.]