Sorry I was supposed to do this on the first chapter but I didn't.
None of the characters in this story belongs to me. Please don't sue me, I
don't really own anything you'd want anyway.
Warning; this story deals with self-harm, if this makes you uncomfortable or you may find it triggering please do not read it.
Please review. I really love reviews. I really love people who review. Have I sucked up enough yet to make you review?
Part 2
As soon as I make it onto the bridge I realise something isn't right, first off everybody stares at me, but no one says hi. Normally they at least say hi, only then does it hit me that maybe I've done something wrong, and that I've been called to get told off.
I look over and see the Captain and Ford heading over towards me, they both look determined, Ford looks a little angry, but the Captain just looks disappointed. I'm going into panic mode, I'm raking my mind trying to remember anything I might have done wrong recently but I cant think of anything, besides which my arms starting to sting from the fabric of my top rubbing against my new cuts. The Captain starts to speak,
"Mr Walencezk, Commander Ford has just informed me that you have still failed to install the new security system, do you have anything to say for yourself?"
Oh god, he never calls me Mr Walencezk, it's always been Lucas unless I've really messed up. It's not fair, I've been trying my hardest to do everything right, to be quiet to not cause any trouble, yet I still manage to mess up. I'm mad at myself, I like the Captain, I want him to be proud of me, I don't want him mad at me, but then it doesn't matter what I want. Anyway didn't I just have to put up with my father yelling at me because the good old Captain phoned him to complain about me? Ford speaks up now,
"So you don't have any excuses for yourself, Lucas I understand that you're just a child but that doesn't give you the excuse to be lazy and neglect your duties,"
Oh he's done it now, nobody calls me a child, especially when I'm in this mood and gets away with it, so I look up into his face, and summoning up every bit of sarcasm and wit that I have, and I start my reply which is probably gona get me in a hell of a lot of trouble later, but at the moment I don't care, I just wana get out some of this bad feeling that I have inside.
"You think I'm lazy, that I neglect my duties, shit," I know what I want to say but I cant seem to get it out, I look around and see the rest of the crews shocked expressions at my swearing, I carry on,
"I mean, Fuck Captain, I work as hard if not harder then the rest of you, cos when your shift finishes you can just turn around and go to bed or whatever, but I sit at my computer till four in the morning sometimes to try and finish whatever fucking impossible task you've set me this time." I have to stop to breathe, the captain and ford look majorly shocked. I turn and carry on my speech to the Captain,
"Look Captain I'm not a kid, I know how to look after myself, it just gets real difficult to cope when everyone's pushing stuff at me, that has to be done right then and there, and sometimes I forget stuff, but I mean I don't mean to, just give me a fucking chance for gods sake." I'm yelling by now, nearly in tears.
Somebody grabs at my shoulder from behind me, and my instincts tell me to take a swing at them, because I'm so mad at the whole world at the moment I don't care who it is, so I turn and punch at whoever's behind me. As my right fist makes contact with Ben's face someone behind me grabs my left arm to pull me back,
"Owwww" I yell out in pain they've gripped my cuts, I look up and see that its Ford who's grabbed my arm. He releases it at my cry, I pull my arm in towards me to protect it, I look down and see fresh blood seeping through my T-shirt, Ford's grip must have opened up the cuts again causing them to bleed afresh.
"Lucas are you alright?" the Captain asks me. I look down at my arm and back away from him, I just wana get away, how could everything go so wrong in such little time. I back straight into Ben and I'm feeling so dizzy I almost fall over, Ben places his arms around my waist to keep me in a standing position, I'm glad he's here he's been my best friend on this sub since I got here.
"Captain, we better get him to medbay, he's bleeding" Ben says pointing to my arm, the Captain and Ford both look at my arm and are shocked to see he's right,
"I didn't grab hard enough to make him bleed, I'm sure I didn't!" Ford says puzzled.
"Here, let me take a look at your arm, Lucas?" the Captain asks,
"No!" I cry out and pull my arm tighter into my body, I panic, he can't see my scars, then there'll know and there'll all hate me even more and think I'm a freak.
"It's alright Lucas, we'll just take you down to medbay and then Doctor Westphalen can look after your arm and everything will be fine." Ben says soothingly in my ear, "OK." He asks, I'm too tired to put up anymore of a fight so I just nod my head.
So with Ben basically carrying me and with the Captain and Ford in front and behind we head down to medbay where there'll all find out my secret.
Warning; this story deals with self-harm, if this makes you uncomfortable or you may find it triggering please do not read it.
Please review. I really love reviews. I really love people who review. Have I sucked up enough yet to make you review?
Part 2
As soon as I make it onto the bridge I realise something isn't right, first off everybody stares at me, but no one says hi. Normally they at least say hi, only then does it hit me that maybe I've done something wrong, and that I've been called to get told off.
I look over and see the Captain and Ford heading over towards me, they both look determined, Ford looks a little angry, but the Captain just looks disappointed. I'm going into panic mode, I'm raking my mind trying to remember anything I might have done wrong recently but I cant think of anything, besides which my arms starting to sting from the fabric of my top rubbing against my new cuts. The Captain starts to speak,
"Mr Walencezk, Commander Ford has just informed me that you have still failed to install the new security system, do you have anything to say for yourself?"
Oh god, he never calls me Mr Walencezk, it's always been Lucas unless I've really messed up. It's not fair, I've been trying my hardest to do everything right, to be quiet to not cause any trouble, yet I still manage to mess up. I'm mad at myself, I like the Captain, I want him to be proud of me, I don't want him mad at me, but then it doesn't matter what I want. Anyway didn't I just have to put up with my father yelling at me because the good old Captain phoned him to complain about me? Ford speaks up now,
"So you don't have any excuses for yourself, Lucas I understand that you're just a child but that doesn't give you the excuse to be lazy and neglect your duties,"
Oh he's done it now, nobody calls me a child, especially when I'm in this mood and gets away with it, so I look up into his face, and summoning up every bit of sarcasm and wit that I have, and I start my reply which is probably gona get me in a hell of a lot of trouble later, but at the moment I don't care, I just wana get out some of this bad feeling that I have inside.
"You think I'm lazy, that I neglect my duties, shit," I know what I want to say but I cant seem to get it out, I look around and see the rest of the crews shocked expressions at my swearing, I carry on,
"I mean, Fuck Captain, I work as hard if not harder then the rest of you, cos when your shift finishes you can just turn around and go to bed or whatever, but I sit at my computer till four in the morning sometimes to try and finish whatever fucking impossible task you've set me this time." I have to stop to breathe, the captain and ford look majorly shocked. I turn and carry on my speech to the Captain,
"Look Captain I'm not a kid, I know how to look after myself, it just gets real difficult to cope when everyone's pushing stuff at me, that has to be done right then and there, and sometimes I forget stuff, but I mean I don't mean to, just give me a fucking chance for gods sake." I'm yelling by now, nearly in tears.
Somebody grabs at my shoulder from behind me, and my instincts tell me to take a swing at them, because I'm so mad at the whole world at the moment I don't care who it is, so I turn and punch at whoever's behind me. As my right fist makes contact with Ben's face someone behind me grabs my left arm to pull me back,
"Owwww" I yell out in pain they've gripped my cuts, I look up and see that its Ford who's grabbed my arm. He releases it at my cry, I pull my arm in towards me to protect it, I look down and see fresh blood seeping through my T-shirt, Ford's grip must have opened up the cuts again causing them to bleed afresh.
"Lucas are you alright?" the Captain asks me. I look down at my arm and back away from him, I just wana get away, how could everything go so wrong in such little time. I back straight into Ben and I'm feeling so dizzy I almost fall over, Ben places his arms around my waist to keep me in a standing position, I'm glad he's here he's been my best friend on this sub since I got here.
"Captain, we better get him to medbay, he's bleeding" Ben says pointing to my arm, the Captain and Ford both look at my arm and are shocked to see he's right,
"I didn't grab hard enough to make him bleed, I'm sure I didn't!" Ford says puzzled.
"Here, let me take a look at your arm, Lucas?" the Captain asks,
"No!" I cry out and pull my arm tighter into my body, I panic, he can't see my scars, then there'll know and there'll all hate me even more and think I'm a freak.
"It's alright Lucas, we'll just take you down to medbay and then Doctor Westphalen can look after your arm and everything will be fine." Ben says soothingly in my ear, "OK." He asks, I'm too tired to put up anymore of a fight so I just nod my head.
So with Ben basically carrying me and with the Captain and Ford in front and behind we head down to medbay where there'll all find out my secret.