A/N:  Thank you, thank you to all of the wonderful reviewers of the last chapter.  You guys are the best!


Disclaimer:  They all belong to someone who is not me.

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"Hermione, I love you."

The words went through her like a shot.  If it weren't for the fact that she had a supporting hand on his shoulder, she might have fallen right over.

He loved her.

He loved her.

He loved her.

Of all the four letter words she'd heard Ron utter in the seven years she'd known him, love had never been one of them.  Unless, of course, he was referring to it in a sentence laden with the words "Cannons," "Quidditch," or "Chocolate."  But he'd just said it in the same sentence with her name. 

And she thought she was going to die.

Never before had words affected her like those four had.  Someone loved her, and it wasn't just anybody.  It was Ron Weasley.

The last person she would have expected and yet the only person she wanted.

As her eyes fluttered shut at the feel of his lips pressing against the area of skin just below her ear, she wondered what was happening.  It was almost as if she were living in an alternative universe, as if none of this was real.  All of this was a dream.

She was at Hogwarts, tucked away in the library studying for the N.E.W.T.s.

Ron was sneaking into the kitchens to nick food from the House-Elves.

Harry was out on the Quidditch field preparing for the upcoming match against Slytherin.

She wasn't a teenage runaway who was being forced to live in near-poverty.

Ron hadn't just whispered that he loved her.

And Harry wasn't dead.

None of it was real.

But it was.

Harry was dead.  Ron had just told her he loved her.

And it was at that moment that her mind decided on its own accord to stop thinking all together.  Instead, she focused all of her energy on just feeling.

She felt the way he was gingerly kissing her earlobe.  She felt the way one hand rested against her neck as the other sat unmoving on her shoulder. 


And she felt him.

She felt all of the emotions that he'd worked so hard to hide.  She felt them being released away from him.  And all of the emotions made her heart pound and dull all at the same time.  She felt the stress of being on his own for the first time in his life.  She felt the comfort he was drawing from having her so close.  She felt the guilt he was holding for reasons unknown to both of them.  And she felt the pure, undiluted pain that wrenched at his heart and soul.

"Oh, God..."

The words were more gasped than spoken, and even she herself had trouble deciphering their origin.  It was a mix of the shock she experienced at feeling his sorrow and of the pleasure she experienced at feeling his lips sliding across her throat.  The feelings coursing through her weren't like anything she'd ever known, and, as a curious person by nature, she wanted to learn more.

She wanted to find out why he was feeling so much guilt.  She wanted to convey her understanding.  She wanted to be the one to relieve him of all the heartache and pain that was tormenting him.

But she never, ever wanted him to stop loving her.

He was kissing her again, and she gave herself over completely to the moment.  For a few moments, she allowed herself simply to be caught up in the revelry of being kissed by him.  It wasn't like anything she'd ever felt, and she knew at once why she'd never allowed herself to get seriously involved with anyone else.  She'd kissed Ron twice before, and a handful of other boys made up the rest of her kissing experience.  All of the other boys, though, weren't Ron, and for that reason alone, she never enjoyed being with them.  They didn't make her feel the way Ron made her feel; they weren't Ron.

And he was the only one she ever really wanted anyway.

Kissing Ron wasn't even about the actual kiss.  It was about the fact that they were two people who had nothing and yet everything in common.  They were best friends who had each lost a part of themselves one month before.  Neither of them had anything, but yet they were surviving. 

And they each needed something to hold onto, so they might as well choose each other.

That's what it was about.

But then Ron broke the kiss and let go of her, taking an anxious step backward and darting his eyes away from hers as they fluttered open in confusion.

"What..." she struggled to get her breath.  "What's wrong?"

He looked at her as if he were deciding the fate of the world, and then he shook his head.  "We shouldn't do this."

It literally felt as if her heart was crumbling, and she stared at him wordlessly for a long, long moment before she managed to speak.  "Did you mean it?"

"Did I mean what?" he queried carefully.

Hermione closed and opened her eyes all within a second.  "When you said you loved me.  Did you mean it?"

Ron was silent for far too long a time, and Hermione felt tears threatening to fill her eyes.  She felt crushed and beaten and all wrong.  Until Ron finally whispered an answer.  "Yes."

It was soft and quiet, but Hermione heard it nonetheless.  Her eyes raised to his own, and she stared at him, looking for any sign that he was deceiving her or having her on.  There was none. 

He was telling her the truth.

And before she even knew what she was doing, she'd closed the distance between them and was kissing him again.  There was a driving need inside of her now.  A need both for her and for his benefit.  She needed him to take away her pain, and she needed to be the one to take away his. 

But Ron broke the kiss again and pushed her away slightly.

"This isn't right." 


His words hurt her in so many ways, and she forced herself not to cry.  "What isn't right?" she demanded, her voice wavering but not breaking.


He looked at her, and she caught a glimpse of the hurt she felt mirrored in her own eyes.  "I meant it."  That was the answer he gave her.  It made no sense to her.

"If you meant it, then what's wrong?"

Ron's eyes darted to every corner of the room before seeking hers out again.  His voice held more emotions than she'd ever been privy to, and it frightened her.  "It's wrong because I did mean it," he said, his voice straining.  "I meant it.  More than anything in my life, I meant it."

He sounded so desperate, so lost and confused.  Hermione couldn't stand it.  And she was more confused than ever now.  "That doesn't make it wrong," she said hoarsely.  "What are you talking about?"

Ron looked as if he was fighting an internal battle against himself.  Finally, he seemed to have lost to the deepest corners of his soul, and he just confessed himself.  "I said it because it was the truth.  I didn't say it to get anything out of it."

The breath caught in Hermione's throat, and she felt herself start to tremble slightly.  She stared at him with open and inviting eyes, waiting for him to go on, begging him with her eyes to continue.

He swallowed deeply before taking a deep breath and venturing further.  "I said it because it was true, not because I wanted something.  I'm not like that."  His eyes implored her own.  "You know I'm not like that."

And she did know.

Ron might have gone through his superficial teenage boy phase a few years before, but he was over that now.  She'd observed him with all of the girls he'd ever dated, and though she knew he was never extremely interested in any of them, he'd never disrespected any of them in any way.  His mother had taught him better than that; he'd once said he wouldn't treat a girl in any way that he wouldn't want some other guy to treat Ginny. 

And for that reason alone, Hermione trusted him.

She trusted him with her friendship.  She trusted him with her life.  She wanted to trust him with her heart.

"You don't have to prove anything to me, Hermione," he said softly, his eyes darkening to a considerably deeper shade of blue. 


And it was with that sentence that she decided to offer him everything.  "And you don't have to prove anything to me."

He studied her intensely, his eyes piercing into her as if searching for some hint of hesitation.  Finally, he seemed to have found his voice again, and he carefully worded a question.  "What are you saying?"

Hermione took a step closer and gently placed her hand in his, lifting her eyes to his and answering him honestly.  "I know who you are, Ron," she said softly.  "And I know this is right."

There was a moment close to eternity in which neither of them spoke.  And then, without warning, tears filled Ron's eyes and he backed toward the wall and leaned against it for support.  His hand still clung to hers as she stumbled forward with him; she knew he was holding onto her in hopes of holding onto something they'd both lost.

And she was okay with it.

"How did this happen?" he asked quietly, his eyes still brimming with unshed tears.  "Why did it happen?"

She had no answer for him.  Her head shook slightly as she stepped closer and wrapped her arms around his neck, holding him gently as the first tears fell from his eyes.  He was hurting so much. 

And it was up to her to help him in any way that she could.

She turned her head slightly and ever-so-gently brushed her lips against his damp cheek as his head bowed forward to find solace in her shoulder.  She was kissing away his tears, letting him know that it was okay to let everything out in front of her.  She wouldn't judge him.  She never had.

"Let me help you," she whispered softly, letting her lips glide further down his cheek toward his neck.  "Let me make it better."

Ron's eyes were closed, and she could imagine the way he was struggling to give himself over fully to the feelings they were both sharing, but she knew that the pain was also still too fresh and the wounds ran too deep.  Anything she would be able to do would only soothe him; she couldn't cure him.

But somehow it was enough.

Hermione wasn't sure where she was getting the courage to move forward with her intents, as just that very morning, she'd watched Ron sleeping and thought to herself that she would just have to put aside the intense needing and want that she felt for him.  Starting anything at this point would be useless and do nothing but cause them both pain, which was obviously something they already had in an overabundance.  But now, as she stood in front of him and watched his pain flow so freely, she wondered why she'd ever hidden from her feelings in the past.

And he loved her.

"Hermione..."  His voice was breathy and thin, and she raised her head up just slightly to look at him.

"Hmm?" she murmured quietly, feeling that she could get lost in the azure depths of his eyes.

He stared back at her, so pointedly and so meaningfully that she almost felt frightened.  "Hermione, what are you doing?" he finally managed to ask, his voice wavering noticeably.

Hermione thought about the question and pondered the answer.  What was she doing?  She shrugged slightly.  "Making it better."

She kissed him again, this time losing the softness and tenderness when his free hand sought out the small of her back and pulled her closer as the hand he was still using to hold her own closed even tighter around her small palm and the fingers reached out to brush against her knuckles.  This was a real kiss.  This wasn't a pained kiss or anything else like that; it was two teenagers who had wasted far too much time already kissing to make up for lost moments.  His mouth opened to hers, and she took the incentive to slip her tongue past his parted lips and explore the inner recesses of his mouth.

A moment later, though, Ron pulled his head away and stood back to his full height, obviously trying to distance himself from her.  He took a deep breath and looked very seriously at her.  "Don't do that unless..."  His voice trailed off as if he wasn't sure how to continue that sentence.  He stood in silence, his chest rising and falling with missing breaths.

"Unless what?" she challenged quietly, feeling unnaturally brave.  Perhaps the true Gryffindor courage didn't show up until after Hogwarts had been left behind.

Ron's eyes narrowed slightly, as if he hadn't been expecting her to challenge him. 

"Unless I'm ready to stop pretending that there's nothing between us?" she asked smoothly.  "Unless I plan to continue it?"

The narrowed eyes seemed to disappear altogether as his eyes darkened to a color so dark, it was almost past navy.  He swallowed once and then finally gathered enough voice to say, "I've wanted you for too damn long."  She couldn't fight the slight shiver that shot through her at his words, but he didn't stop.  "And I still do.  But not like this."

Hermione wanted to scream in frustration.  She didn't know what she was doing wrong, and she didn't know whether to yell at him or burst into tears.  Instead, she opted for neither.  "Like what?"

He opened his mouth once as if preparing to say something but shut it.  Then he shook his head and continued anyway.  "I don't want you to feel..." he searched for the right word, "compromised."  Hermione's brow wrinkled.  Compromised?  "I love you, Hermione.  I really, really do, and that's the God's honest truth.  But I don't want you to think I said that just so you would..."  He broke off, shaking his head.

Hermione felt something in her heart swell.  She had never wanted anything more in her life as much as she did him.  And it wasn't because he'd said he'd loved her, either; it was because he was the only person who had ever been able to make her forget the rest of the world.  And maybe that's exactly what they needed- to forget the rest of the world altogether.

"Ron, I want this, too," she whispered.  "And I promise I'm ready for it."

She actually saw the shot of shock shoot through his body.  She'd never seen anything like it before in her life, and it thrilled her.  He looked lost and found all at once, and his eyes sought hers out with a tender look.

"Are you sure?" he asked gently, once again running his fingers across the knuckles of the hand he still had a hold on.

She nodded, suddenly feeling shy and much more like a little girl than she had five minutes before.  "I want it," she repeated quietly.  "Trust me."  Her eyes poured into his as she whispered one more sentence.  "I trust you."

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Well, I figured this was a good stopping point because if I'd gone ahead and added the next part, it would have ended up being too long.  The next part will pick up here, so don't worry.


I always appreciate any feedback, comments, and suggestions, so please review!!!