"It is deception."
"It is logical."
Tuvok is forced to sit back and consider what the universe is coming to when Tom Paris decides to lecture him on what is or is not logical.
"Explain."
"You and Seven speak the same language some times." Then Tom raised his hand to cut Tuvok off from what he knew would be a reminder that all of them spoke the same language, Federation Standard.
"Don't say it. Anyway, B'Elanna and Seven checked the design, Harry went over it too just to be sure. Technically, any one of them could present the proposal. They did just as much work as I did."
"It is deception."
"Mind singing a new tune? That record's played out."
There are times when Tom tests all of his Vulcan discipline. Tuvok darn near rolled his eyes in response to that. [We must stop meditating together. There is a reason there are no empaths on Vulcan.]
"It was your concept and your design. As with any responsible design engineer, you requested others verify your work. They did. It is no less your work. Asking B'Elanna or Seven to present it to the captain is a deception. It gives the appearance that one of them is responsible for the project."
"A) That's the whole point. B) You failed to refute my contention that it is logical because we both know that it is."
"Explain."
"We've discussed that. Anyway, there is no way that Captain Janeway or Chakotay—you do remember Chakotay don't you—would ever give the project serious consideration if they knew it was a Tom Paris creation and we both know it. This way, they come to a decision on the proposal based on the merits of the information in front of them. They aren't prejudiced by my involvement and they accept or pass on it for legitimate reasons. Tell me that isn't logical and I'll hand you a mirror and show you a Vulcan who lies."
Tom said nothing as he struggled to keep a straight face and pretend he did not see it but he was marking this day on his calendar as soon as he got back to his quarters. He decided that since the whole point is that Vulcans suppress and not express emotions he can't count what he feels come from Tuvok from time to time. He knows that technically, as an empath that's cheating. But this was a whole different ball game. His facial expression may have been neutral but Tom Paris knew exactly what he saw. Tuvok just rolled his eyes!
"Hey, Maquis wait up!"
She stopped and smiled. Only one person would holler that through the corridors of Voyager with its ticking time bomb of combustible mixed shipmates.
"Shake a leg Starfleet, I don't have a day."
"We need to talk."
He looked serious so she got serious.
"Ok, what's going on?"
"Its about Tom."
"ghuy'cha'! What happened?"
"No nothing like that." Then he looked around at the few people in the hall who decided not to even bother pretending that they weren't trying to listen in.
That group gave many people many things to talk about and speculate on for the past year. The only one who continued to seem normal and unchanged was Harry Kim. B'Elanna was just different. Ok, they knew she was half Klingon so no one, even her Maquis crew mates, were surprised that she spars with the Bat'leth once a week. Doing it with Seven is strange considering their history but they'll concede that the Borg is as strong as a Klingon so its understandable. But, seeing them hanging out together is just weird. And what is with B'Elanna??? The hair, the clothes. Its not just battle armor when she's on the holo deck. All her off duty clothes are the grey and black traditional Klingon clothes. She even wears the outer robes! Since when did SHE go Klingon?
And then there was the notice of name change. Chakotay couldn't do anything but shake his head. He really didn't see that one coming though he guessed that it made sense. He knew the captain wouldn't think so. As much as Tuvok grates on his nerves [no that's not true he doesn't as much as he use to, I guess I just react out of habit now.] he intervened on B'Elanna's behalf and kept Katherine away from her. Chakotay isn't sure what Tuvok said specifically but Janeway told him enough to let him know that Tuvok knew a hell of a lot more than he did. He couldn't be mad about that because it was knowledge he had long before meeting B'Elanna and not something she told him. Then he wondered if Tuvok was actually welcome to spend time with her during her leave. No, he decided that didn't make any sense considering his instructions to the captain. Still, in the last several months he couldn't help but notice Tuvok spending time with B'Elanna and Seven in addition to Harry and Tom. He still has no clue what that last part is all about. Harry's too naive and too much of a nice guy. That explains why he's friends with Tom, the others he just doesn't get.
Chakotay knew to keep silent on that and many other things. Especially if he was going to slip this one by Katherine without her deciding that she needed to counsel B'Elanna on the matter first. Now that she has gone full Klingon, Chakotay's pretty sure the captain won't fair too well in the discussion. He's not sure how the rest of the crew will react but he also considers this is one of those times B'Elanna doesn't care so he won't either. He does see that its dated 8 months prior to this and considers that a good sign. It means this isn't a rush decision. He isn't saying a word. If she wanted his opnion on the matter, which he's certain she does not, she would have come to him first. That made him chuckle as he updated the crew manifest to reflect the name then set the ship's computer to do the same. This way anyone trying to reach Lt. Torres would be immediately informed that no such person exists since the formal change of name and that if they wished to be connected with Lt. B'Elanna they should resubmit their request. He figured it wouldn't take long to get around the ship.
B'Elanna follows Harry's eye then tosses the death glare at the people trying to eavesdrop. They got it and moved on. Still, she didn't want to have this conversation in the hallway,
"Come on, we'll go to my place."
Harry just groaned. He kept forgetting to replicate a folding chair to take to B'Elanna's. Since she refuses to actually have any furniture in her quarters now he can't just stash something there.
[We're gonna have to talk about this minimalist phase. Its lasting longer than a phase and it is so not in the Klingon handbook. I know they love their comforts!]
Once inside she points to the 'guest pillow' and tells him to take a seat.
"Want anything?"
"Nah, I'm fine."
"Ok, what's going on with Tom? Nobody's giving him headaches again?"
"Sort of. Look, he's planning on coming to either you or Seven or both if the first one says no and asking either or both of you to put your name on the proposal and submit it instead of him."
She didn't have to ask why he was doing that.
"What did Tuvok say?" 'Cause she's certain that Tom mentioned it to Tuvok first.
"Oh you'll love this. Tom finally wore him down with some logical argument."
"You're kidding right?"
"He's a Vulcan. He couldn't refute the logic though he did point out the potential for further disaster down the road when they feel he lied after they find out its his design."
"Tuvok's got him there, what's the problem?"
"Tom doesn't want credit for the project. He's used to getting dumped on or over looked. He just wants the thing built so he can fly it. Its all a part of his master plan."
"Master plan? Do I even want to know?"
"Actually you do, but trust me, you want him to tell you. Personally, I think its brilliant but what do I know, I'm not a pilot."
"Enough with the self deprecation Mr. Borg genius. So, what's the deal?"
"Obviously, I came to give you a heads up so you don't get suckered in by his logic. He really has been spending way too much time with Tuvok, he's starting to really get good at it."
Then he snorted and shook his head cause he thought that was very funny considering how far they'd all come since the trip started.
"Yeah. I'll say no. Technically, I have to say no anyway."
"Ethics?"
"Heck no. Klingon honor. There's actually a rule for this one."
"I'll take your word for it. I'm still struggling trying to learn the language."
"It gets easier with practice."
"How would you know? You've been speaking it your whole life!"
"Yeah and Korean is a breeze. Who the hell's idea was this anyway?"
"Seven's. Something about exploring our individuality instead of focusing on humanity."
"Yeah, remind me to yell at her about this later. Not really that difficult for her since she already speaks Klingon, Vulcan and I caught her—she was about to down load Korean directly into her neural processor from the ship's data base. Tried to get out of learning it the old fashion way but I put a stop to that. She can suffer like the rest of us. "
"That's one way of doing it. Tom's struggling with Vulcan and I'm sorry but I don't envy him one bit. Those people have never heard of a contraction, they have no idioms and 90 different meanings for the same word depending on the context and inflection. Their grammar is as precise as it gets. Tom shouldn't have given Tuvok a hard time about him probably not being able to learn German saying it's a romance language and requires emotion to get the true meaning across. He's paying for it now. We'll find a way to get back at Seven."
"Alright, you want me to go find Seven and warn her to say no?"
"No, I'll do that. Your job is to cut Tom off at the knees. Vulcans and Borg are completely susceptible to logical arguments. Those don't work on a Klingon. Feel free to whip out your Bat'leth to get your point across."
"I think I'm offended."
"Get over it. Look, the point is that as much as he says he doesn't care, it hurts. The fact that we all know there's a pretty good chance they won't take it seriously just because its his idea means there is a serious problem. Its been 4 years of hell for him and I'm sick of it. This is about taking a stand and supporting him in another way. He needs to know that he has friends who value his worth. I know that Chakotay is your friend but he has allowed his personal—illogical and false beliefs about Tom affect the way he treats a member of this crew in his OFFICIAL capacity as first officer. That is wrong. If we go along with Tom's plan we encourage behavior like that to continue. If Tom isn't ready to do it, I am. Its time to draw a line in the sand. That is the honorable thing to do isn't it?"
She could not suppress the smile that graced her features as she reached over and patted his arm. B'Elanna felt the same way about the general treatment of Tom by most of the crew. She now realizes that Chakotay must be concealing the extent of his true feelings about Tom in her presence. She knew how he felt about Tom when they first arrived on Voyager and how he felt after the nightmare that was Seska but Harry's words make her suspect that there is something else going on. Harry knew he had her hooked from the beginning but making it a matter of honor? [So, Harry Kim isn't above manipulation or emotional blackmail.] She definitely liked that.
"Everything you said is the truth. And yes, it is a matter of honor. Ours, Tom's, and our superiors' even if they do not realize it. Come on, I'll walk with you half way. Tom's gotta be in his quarters practically dancing a jig for out smarting Tuvok. Probably tweaking his argument for Seven. I'll talk to him."
"Thanks."
"Hey B'Elanna, what's up?"
He's suspicious that he knows exactly what's up and plans to have a little talk with a stool pigeon named Harry when this is all over.
"Nope, leave Harry alone. He did the right thing. He did the honorable thing."
Tom immediately sees this conversation is going down hill fast. He hadn't worked on honor yet. Logic was easier and after getting by Tuvok he felt sufficiently prepared to bypass B'Elanna and simply present his request to Seven. This was putting a crimp in the plan. He exhaled deeply,
"Have a seat."
She takes a minute to size him up before she starts. B'Elanna definitely sees where his head is. He isn't fooling her one bit.
[Harry was right, it hurts him more than he'll admit. This is his fear. Not all that other crap. This. Being rejected and scorned when he performs at or above his potential. When he allows the real Tom Paris out.]
Tom's shifting uncomfortably in his seat because she's looking at him like a huntress to her prey. He isn't sure what she sees but something in her expression lets him know she saw too much.
"I spent my whole life hiding. I stopped hiding a year ago and I'll never go back. I can't and I won't force you out of hiding. But I won't dishonor you or our friendship by helping you hide. I won't allow others to dishonor you either."
He couldn't speak. He couldn't look at her either because he knew she was right. He just didn't want to deal with the confrontation. He could move onto the next thing and not have to deal with it. That would be easier. Finally, he decided—well no it just slipped out before he could stop it. But for the first time in his life he consciously shared his secret with someone and prayed she'd make the connection and understand.
"I'm empathic."
Just above a whisper but he knew that Klingon enhanced hearing would pick it up. Then he closed his eyes and dropped his head in his hands to wait for whatever was coming. Logically, he guessed it would be accepted but he never even told Tuvok because he did not want to risk him ending their friendship. What Vulcan would want someone around who could basically blow their cover whenever they got ready?
Both of her hearts clenched as her mind went into over-drive. Everything made sense. Every single thing made perfect sense! Then the overwhelming implications of what he just confessed settled. She didn't think about what harm she might cause as she instinctively reached over an clasped his hand wordlessly. Her mind was still racing super sonic. Finally, she pulled away from her thoughts.
"Forgive me."
That wasn't what he expected to hear. Nor did he expect B'Elanna to take his hand. But what really surprised him was that he picked up nothing. Physical contact always intensified the emotions he picked up from others. She was like a piece of toast. How that was possible for a Klingon he had no clue. They were the most emotionally expressive beings known to exist. Now he wonders what she meant.
"For what?"
"For not understanding the full extent of what you endure or how much you are keenly aware of the true feelings of others. Forgive me for pushing you to a point where you were compelled to admit this. I realize it's a secret. How you managed to keep it a secret your entire life, I can't imagine."
He didn't know what to say to that. So he just stared blankly at her. The only thought that came to him was kind of stupid.
"How come I couldn't sense any emotions from you when you first took my hand? I can now but not then."
"I'm not sure. I think its an engineer thing. Whenever I'm solving a problem, emotions get switched off and all energy is routed to the brain. I was running through all the various implications of this gift of yours. How strong are your shields? Do you think you can make it through the meeting tomorrow?"
"Huh?"
"Which part?"
"How does your mind work?"
"What?"
"You are all over the place. And you just accept it and moved on to shields."
"Yeah, what do I care if you're empathic? That's not exactly something that I should accept or reject. It just is. Besides, you're forgetting that I'm Klingon. We don't actually CARE if people sense our emotions. If you hadn't noticed we aren't the most emotionally repressive specie. Especially surface emotions. Unless we're being sneaky trying to hide something but that's another story and completely not relevant."
Then she takes a breath and looks at him gently,
"Um being an empath isn't the only secret you let slip just now Tom. I know the fear. I can relate and I can understand. But, unlike you, I don't have to feel what others feel. So, how do you want to play this?"
He has been completely thrown for a loop. Scrunching up his face, he just continues to stare at her harder. She figures she gave him a bit much with that one so she isn't going to push the issue. She's sure he's keeping it a secret from Tuvok. But something tells her Tuvok has to know. [Mind meld! Duh, Tom not too bright.] B'Elanna's not worried. This is just another case of Vulcan discretion. Khaless knows she relied on it in order to get leave. She's positive Janeway asked him and she's certain he said nothing. Doesn't take away from the fact that he knows.
Defeated, he leans back against the couch with his eyes closed and his hands propped behind his head for support.
"What happens if they say no?"
"Then we think of something else. She's the captain. She can say no to anything she wants. It isn't a democracy around here. But, she can't do it without cause. Chakotay can seethe and snort all he wants, but it won't change the fact that this is a very good thing for Voyager and we need it. Harry mentioned something about this being Phase 1. Don't freak, that's all he said except that its something I definitely want you to fill me in on when you're ready. Whenever is good for me.
Don't forget I was in your position—sort of when we first came on board. Captain Janeway did not want me as chief engineer for no other reason than I was Maquis. She wouldn't listen to my suggestions and she probably feared I'd dump the warp core and try to take over the ship when you guys were sleeping. She wasn't the least bit subtle at concealing her feelings. I had to prove myself in the face of her sorely incompetent and inferior staff, I excelled."
Then she cracked up laughing at the look he gave her.
"Try to work on that low self esteem, B'Elanna."
"Seriously, this is a cross roads for you and a decision only you can make. Well, your friends are going to help you make part of the decision because I can guarantee that Harry nor Seven will present this. And you know I'm not. Should you decide to present it, know that we will back you up 100%. We have checked and double checked your figures and the designs. Its air tight and its brilliant. Pilots should design ships, you guys know what you need them to do in a pinch more than the rest of us.
I cannot control what emotions Chakotay sends off. The only way for me to guess where he's at is to read his body language. But know this, I will personally shut him down and cut him off from any dissent that is not based on legitimate findings. I won't let him get away with any snide comments.
Honestly, neither he nor the captain are in a position to challenge me or Seven on this. We ARE the experts. If either of them tries to make a decision right then, well we know they aren't doing it on the merits because that wouldn't be nearly enough time for either of them to read the specs. Neither of them can afford to loose credibility like that. Sure, they can say we don't have the resources. I can always point out that we will as soon as the next two standard Starfleet issued shuttles designed for peaceful commutes within the Alpha quadrant and not the random alien attacks of the week out here in the Delta quadrant get blown to hell and we salvage the scrap parts for recycling. How's that?"
"Not helping me with that last part." But he chuckles anyway.
"I know what else you're worried about. Them thinking it isn't your work. That you aren't smart enough to have come up with it. Well, Captain Janeway might not immediately realize the mistake saying that out loud would be but I think Chakotay will."
"Huh?"
"That would challenge my honor. It would accuse a Borg of lying and acting illogical. Neither of those are good things. Now, how do you want to play this?"
"I guess there's no other way for me to do it other than play it straight. Just back me up."
"nIteb Qob qaD jup 'e' chaw'be' SuvwI. A warrior does not let a friend face danger alone. Hey, you know we will stand by you. You should've heard Harry earlier. He is really fired up about this. He was damn near shouting from his soap box about drawing a line in the sand, equality and injustice. Something about honor. And if I were Chakotay, I'd stay the hell away from Harry Kim. He's fed up. Didn't know he had it in him."
Overwhelming. Tom couldn't believe it. Harry has always had his back. Has been with him 100% from the beginning of their friendship but hearing B'Elanna talk about him like this was heart warming considering everything else.
Harry glanced around the conference table nervously as the time got closer for Tom to make his report. If he'd known his friend was empathic he would have tried a lot harder to suppress his concern. Neelix didn't know what was coming any more than the captain, Chakotay or the Doctor so he sat there in his normal good spirits. Tuvok and Seven were their usual impassive and stoic selves. Though he could almost swear there was a hint of something else that just barely touched Seven's eyes. B'Elanna was a different story. The fire and determination on her face all but assured Harry that she'd loaded her elephant gun and was ready to take down the big game if necessary. That was the one thing to cause him to relax completely.
If the situation wasn't so serious from a personal perspective, Tom would have laughed at what he was feeling from his friends. Tuvok was calm and in complete control but he knew the man was preparing some logical course of action if he deemed intervention necessary. Seven was a surprise. Nothing in her appearance gave her away but he felt some steely conviction growing in her. He sort of wishes that he hadn't told B'Elanna his secret because she was wound up tighter than a coiled cobra ready to strike. He caught her eye and smiled when she started emotionally chanting, 'courage' in Klingon. And Harry. Truly the kindest person he'd ever met. He was fluctuating between warm fuzzies and some of whatever Seven had going on. Tom decided the two of them were spending way too much time together between him tutoring her in Korean and her helping him learning the finer points of Borg technology.
At the end of his standard weekly report he took a mental deep breath like Tuvok taught him and began.
"Before I finish, captain, I have something else to report."
That caught her attention.
"Alright, Tom, what's up? Please don't tell me there's going to be a problem navigating our new course. This is the best thing we've come across in months."
"No captain. As I stated earlier, its all mapped out and baring the unexpected hostile alien of the week showing up to take a few shots at us, there shouldn't be a problem. This is a new item."
Then he passed out data padds containing his proposal.
"We're all aware that over the last 4 years we have lost a considerable number of shuttles. We keep replicating parts and constructing replacements. Its been a stop gap measure and in the long run, an inefficient use of our resources."
Neelix, Janeway, Chakotay and the Doctor looked up from their padds almost simultaneously and stared at him in response to his choice of words. Recovering quickly the captain addresses him,
"I'll assume the solution to that is what's on this padd."
"Yes. Starfleet designed those shuttles for Intrepid class ships. Voyager was not meant to be a deep space exploration vehicle. Nor was it intended to be a battle ship. Throughout the majority of this voyage, it has served as both. That cannot be helped due to our situation. B'Elanna and Seven have made significant upgrades to Voyager's shielding, warp drive and weapons with Borg technology over the last three years and that has saved us on more than a few occasions.
Because we are alone out here, our shuttles are used more frequently than they were intended. Intrepid class shuttles weren't designed to withstand the beating they are taking in various atmospheres we enter that are unlike anything in the Alpha and Beta quadrants. They sustain a far greater amount of damage from foreign weapons fire they were not designed to deflect. My proposal is that we adapt to our unique situation.
Before you is a design for a new shuttle. More fire power and stronger shielding than the others. Faster speed with less strain on the engines or warp drive because of a significant change in the warp core itself. Its shape allows for greater maneuverability than a standard shuttle. The shielding concept is based both Federation and Borg technology. But I expanded the concept to include a type of biotechnology similar to that used by the Ugami. It would basically have a smart hull that learns from its engagements and automatically adjusts itself for the various types of energy based weapons it encounters. It would also conform to the diverse ion and polarized atmospheres it enters unlike our current shuttles. Plus, it is slightly larger than the Intrepid class and specifically crafted to fit our special needs. Think of it as a mini battle ship with all the comforts of a standard shuttle."
The four who knew what was going on sat silently waiting for whatever reaction the others would have. Janeway hadn't expect this. She had no idea Tom was working on anything innovative. B'Elanna was usually the one trying to upgrade something. She knew they had problems with their shuttles. The losses were turning into a morbid joke on board. [ How many shuttle craft accidents have we had in the last 4 years?] But she never thought of designing something different. Apparently, Tom had. Then she wonders why he's presenting the proposal instead of B'Elanna or Seven. Before she can ask the question, Chakotay does.
"I understand your interest in the possible creation of a new shuttle but why are you presenting it instead of Seven or B'Elanna?"
"Because I designed it."
"Not the structure or the interior, I'm talking about the actual concept. The science and engineering behind the cosmetics."
At this point, Harry really isn't feeling so good about the progress of the meeting. He really liked the way Tom laid everything out but he knew this was coming and was prepared to jump in if Tom looked ready to back down.
"That is what he's talking about Chakotay. He designed it."
Chakotay actually laughed. Janeway was stunned by this revelation and was caught up in trying to glance at the figures on her padd so that she could formulate some questions so she missed that. She didn't miss what followed.
"You actually expect us to believe that HE designed a new class of shuttle?"
Impassive as a Vulcan, Harry looked him straight in the eye,
"Yes."
The tone, while neutral, clearly indicated that he was absolutely serious. Neelix spoke up,
"Well, I'm no engineer but I think this is wonderful. Everything you've said is true. How we've managed to make it this far is nothing short of a miracle. I understand melding Federation and Borg technology. We've seen the results of that on this ship. Tom, how does the integration of Ugami technology work?"
Always the diplomat, Neelix can smooth out any situation and put out almost any fire. Tom smiled slightly and nodded at him. Once he finished his explanation, even B'Elanna was impressed and she already knew the plan. Janeway posed a question once he finished.
"Its been over a year since we encountered the Ugami and they weren't forthcoming with any of their technology. B'Elanna and I tried everything. How'd you manage this?"
"I'm a pilot. Pilots talk to pilots. While you and B'Elanna were dealing with the Ministry of Science I was taking a tour of one of their ships. They gave me a copy of their flight manual. In the context of trying to adapt some of their techniques, I realized many of their offensive maneuvers can't be executed by Voyager because of its design, size and engines. Plus, their biotechnology cannot be added to existing ship's functions so I started working on something that could include it from the beginning. Obviously, they didn't give me access to any of their technology other than explaining the basics of what a pilot needs to know about ship's functions. I pieced together most of it by extrapolating information in reverse. The finished product to the drawing board instead of the other way around. Then I incorporated what we know from Federation science and the Borg."
Chakotay still isn't satisfied.,
"Fine, you're a pilot. An accomplished pilot but that hardly qualifies you as a design engineer. How do we know this works? I'm still unclear as to how you actually came up with this when Seven and B'Elanna did not."
"The simple answer is that we don't know that it works in actuality until we build it and it flies any more than the Wright brothers knew they'd be a success at Kitty Hawk until their plane got off the ground and stayed in the air. We know that it works in theory because of the basic laws of science and physics. I created a holographic model. The program is listed at the bottom of my report so that you all can take a look and test it out for yourselves. As for the math, B'Elanna and Seven were kind enough to look over my proposal before I presented it and they say its sound."
That last part gets both Janeway and Chakotay nodding like they finally understand. She did not realize her mistake until it was too late.
"I see. So this was a joint project between the three of you. That makes sense now. The way you presented it initially gave the impression that it was your actual design instead of just your idea."
Tom said nothing to that. He sensed that she was willing to accept the proposal after coming to her own conclusions and that was all he cared about at this point. She and Chakotay were broadcasting their disbelief in breakneck waves up until this point and it was all he could do to keep it together.
B'Elanna had different ideas. She was pretty much fed up with the conversation to this point. She acknowledged that their reaction was expected and that Tom was doing a good job handling himself so she didn't butt in. Chakotay's self satisfied smirk made her want to reach across the table and slap it off.
"Captain, I think you misunderstood Tom. This is his idea. This is his creation. The concept, design and science behind it is all his. All Seven and I did was check what he gave us to see if the numbers were right like he said."
She lost her composure and stared at B'Elanna then turned her head to Tom. That made absolutely no sense. [He couldn't have come up with something like this! I couldn't have come up with something like this.]
Chakotay went there.
"Tom is, as he said, a pilot. He isn't an engineer. You can't possibly expect us to believe that's all you and Seven did."
Seven's intervention was not only timely it was crucial because B'Elanna was about to shove Chakotay's a-koo-chee up his moya.
"Commander, perhaps you might want to clarify your statement for the benefit of others. If taken out of the context in which you surely must have intended, your words might suggest some dishonorable behavior on behalf of our chief engineer. Moreover, they might be misconstrued to indicate that our chief helmsman was attempting to perpetrate a fraud by failing to acknowledge the work of others. I believe Mr. Paris and B'Elanna stated that I merely verified the validity of the work presented to me and had no part in its conception or creation. It would be illogical for someone who created such an advanced and innovative design such as this to deny their contribution. If I did not know better, I would think I was being accused of acting illogical."
She stared him down with the full force of her Borgness and dared him not to comply. At this point, Janeway looked around the table and realized that at least three of her officers were preparing to circle the wagons around her helmsman. For the first time, she noted that Harry Kim was angry and was about to say something. One glance at Tuvok told her that he was well aware of this project and the mild look of displeasure was an indication of his disappointment in the turn the discussion had taken. Something told her that he was about as unhappy as a Vulcan can get and a good deal of that was directed at her. If she hadn't known him so long and so well she would have missed all of this. She also would have missed the look that passed between him and Tom. That meant all five of them knew this was his project.
Captain Janeway didn't let Chakotay answer nor would she allow the situation to escalate. Honestly she missed a great deal of the looks that must have been passed around while the scientist in her was reading through Tom's proposal. Even Neelix looked dissatisfied. Absently, she noted that Tom seemed to be the least affected by what was playing out. [Figures, nothing bothers him.]
"Of course, not Seven. Chakotay nor I had any idea a solution to the travesty that is our shuttle craft compliment was being addressed so the general proposal might have taken us both by surprise. No one is accusing anyone of anything. As Chakotay mention, Tom, you are perhaps the best pilot I have ever encountered. We've known each other for some time and I had no idea you had an interest or skill in design engineering. That was another surprise. I have not had time to review the information as thoroughly as is obviously warranted but the need exists. If Seven and B'Elanna say the work is sound, I'll take your word for it at this point. We do have to conserve our resources as much as a solution is needed some times stop gap measures are all we can hope for at times. I'll take some time later and review this in greater detail."
Tom didn't say one word. He met her eye casually and nodded. Then she returned to the business at hand.
"Well, if there's nothing else people, this meeting is adjourned."
Tom was grateful that this meeting took place after Alpha shift so he didn't have to go back to the bridge. Honestly, he didn't think he could have manned the helm even if he set the ship on autopilot. As unaffected and casual as always Tom Paris, good time golden boy, rose from his seat and walked out laughing with Neelix about something. Seven nonchalantly took B'Elanna's arm with her Borg enhanced hand in a vice grip and led her from the room before she could do something that would insure at least an overnight stay in the brig once she saw her stalking toward Chakotay like a panther ready to pounce. Seven wanted to pounce herself, but the momentary gratification might do more harm than good to Tom's proposal. She did notice that Tuvok caught Harry's eye and prevented him from following Tom with a subtle shake of his head. This assured her that Tom was more affected than he let on. It also gave her cause to suspect that Tuvok had a greater understanding of Tom than she originally thought. She did not miss the look he gave the captain and hoped that Tom saw it as well.
In a whisper intended only for Klingon ears Seven spoke to B'Elanna as soon as they were far enough away from Chakotay to assure her that B'Elanna wouldn't snap and lung forward.
"Not one word for the next 6.1 minutes."
It was a struggle for B'Elanna not to scream at Seven. But she darn near cracked her tooth clenching her jaw so tightly. She had no idea what 6.1 minutes could possibly accomplish, the captain wasn't even around. Even though she finally nodded her compliance, B'Elanna noted that Seven still hadn't released her arm. [She is so gonna pay for this later!] Six minutes later she got the point as they entered the holo deck. Once the doors shut behind them Seven disengaged herself and turned to her recent captive,
"You may speak."
All she got in return was an extensive, yet impressive, string of Klingon expletives. Shortly followed by a battle cry that could have awoken Khaless himself. Seven remained silent as B'Elanna called up a program knowing that she was in for a hell of a workout. B'Elanna did not disappoint.
"Why'd you stop me? It was just an act. You have to know that he's upset."
Harry is not getting this. He's madder than he's ever been in his life at this point and does not want a lecture on logical behavior.
"Precisely."
"Tuvok, you're gonna have to do better than that. It doesn't answer the question."
"Mr. Paris is upset. There is no question that he was merely concealing his true feelings. However, you are upset as well. In your present condition, I am uncertain that you will be of any assistance."
Harry closed his eyes and counted to ten. He knew Tuvok was right. Whenever he was upset, Tom spent all his energy making him feel better. Harry realized that would happen now instead of him being there for his friend.
"You're right. But, I'm not sure he ought to be alone. He was expecting something but I don't think even he was prepared for Chakotay to be such a jerk or the captain to leave him hanging like that."
"Perhaps. We cannot change what occurred. All we can do is be supportive. It appears that Mr. Paris would prefer not to show any indication of his true feelings at this time. As his closest friend, you understand."
"Yeah. I get it. Still doesn't make it right. Nor does it change the fact that he shouldn't be alone."
"I will pay him a visit and assess the situation. I believe that Seven has most likely taken B'Elanna to the holo deck. It would seem the most logical course of action."
"And safest. I think she was going to attack Chakotay in there."
"Indeed, that was a possibility. Might I suggest you find an outlet for your—frustration before meeting with Mr. Paris."
"Ok, that would probably be a good idea. I never get worked up so I have no idea what I'm capable of saying."
Tuvok merely nodded. He was unprepared to see this degree of what could almost be characterized as anger from Harry Kim. On any other human, Tuvok would classify it as extreme irritation. For Mr. Kim, however, it exceeded what Naomi Wildman referred to as 'hoppin mad'.
As they parted, Tuvok took a few moments to evaluate the situation from all perspectives. His concern over some things he witnessed over the past few months was growing. There was definitely a problem between the First Officer and the helmsman. Personal issues had no place in the chain of command. He was gratified to note that Tom conducted himself admirably. B'Elanna also restrained herself. Though he acknowledges that was with iron will. If he could be proud, he would be of Seven's response. Diplomatic words conveyed with just enough force to communicate the displeasure behind them. Inventive. The captain was another story. Tuvok knew her better than anyone and he knew her longest. She was taken by surprise and the proposal in front of her was distracting enough that she missed one or two of the scenes playing out around her. Tuvok is assured that she is unaware of the extent of Commander Chakotay's true feelings for Tom Paris. He makes a mental note to observe the situation closer as he checks Tom's location.
He really did not have to do that. Tuvok was certain that the public facade would not last long and that Tom would head for his quarters as soon as he could without calling attention to himself. This was an extremely delicate situation. While he remained silent on all of the personal observations and
discoveries he'd made about Tom Paris over the past year or so, he recognized that Tom had no knowledge of this. He also recognized that out of respect for his Vulcan sensibilities, Tom would be careful not to show any emotion or reveal his true feelings. In this respect, one of the others would seem the most logical choice. However, the fact that Tom is an empath rules them out. The emotions of the others, especially Harry Kim or B'Elanna, might cause complete sensory overload. And, Tuvok was uncertain as to how prepared Tom was before going into the meeting. He only had one day since he planned on passing the work off as B'Elanna or Seven's. That was not nearly enough time considering everything else Tom Paris had to keep out. On more than one occasion Tuvok marveled how he did it and managed to retain his sanity. Secretly, that was one of Tuvok's greatest concerns.
Tom sat quietly on the couch in his living room in the dark. That was one of the good and bad things about space. It was always dark so when the lights were out, you were on your own. He thought about that ironically. He'd always been on his own. In the real way that counts. There was only one thing worse than being alone. Being alone in a crowd. The last several months weren't like that. He always had Harry. Now he was able to relax with Seven, Tuvok and B'Elanna. He almost smiled at the thought of B'Elanna. He saw her out of the corner of his eye. If she'd had her Bat'leth Voyager would have one headless First Officer and Lt. Carey would finally get that promotion. While he was glad for his friends, and he didn't miss Tuvok's looks to Captain Janeway or his constant and supportive presence he was sending off, it did not change the undeniable facts. He went out on a limb and it was snapped like a twig.
He'd almost convinced himself that he'd be taken seriously after he started laying out the reasoning behind his plan. Neelix was a godsend and he'd thanked him as they headed to the turbo lift then immediately returned to some funny story to keep the man from seeing what was really going on. Tom didn't have high hopes for Phase One getting off the ground. The captain's words were neutral, diplomatic and full of everything a captain's should be. Her utter disbelief in his ability and potential cut him much deeper than he thought it would. Deeper than it should have logically because she was right. She didn't know that he had an interest or ability in design engineering. Emotions are rarely logical. It still hurt. And Chakotay. Tom knew that ship of acceptance sailed a long time ago. Why did the man hate him so much? It wasn't even hate. It was what he felt coming from his father. A belief, no a conviction, that he was utterly worthless with no redeeming qualities or value.
Tom was so preoccupied castigating himself for all his deficiencies and worthlessness that he did not hear the door chime several times. Nor did he hear it open or a see his visitor step in because his head was resting in his hands. It was too much. He was sick of it. Even when he tried to do something right he got kicked in the teeth. He thought the delta quadrant was his salvation. The place to start over and make something of himself. He was stuck on this ship with 179 people all feeling the same things to some degree or another. Then he decided he should amend that to 180 because he was feeling the same things they were. He momentarily considered raising it to 181 but thought better of it as Naomi Wildman still liked him. [Give her a few more months, that will change.]
"Tom."
The voice startled him as he looked up to see Tuvok standing there and wondered how he got in. Then he discarded that thought once mortification set in and he realized he'd been crying. [Way to go Tom. Physical evidence of emotional behavior in front of a Vulcan does not insure their continued acceptance of your presence in their life!] It was kinda hard to be slick about it but he wiped the tears away hoping that the dark masked them. Then he realized that since he was sitting with his back directly in front of the view port, the stars were probably doing a good job of ratting him out. Still, Tom Paris wasn't the Oscar winning performer for nothing. He'd give a really good show and Tuvok could get back to whatever he most certainly wished he were doing instead of subjecting himself to this scene. Hoping his voice wouldn't crack,
"Hey, Tuvok. I didn't hear you come in."
"Apparently."
"Well, humans are known to day dream from time to time. Lack of concentration and all."
Tuvok had plenty of time to evaluate him before he spoke. The fact that his request for entry went unnoticed and not simply ignored spoke volumes of Tom Paris' state of mind. His physical appearance filled in the rest of the story. Tuvok did not miss the casual way Tom attempted to conceal the evidence of his tears. He is almost certain that whatever level of mental shields he managed to erect and fortify were about to crumble. What he saw was someone barely holding on. That was not good for many reasons. If the walls fell completely he would have no protection from any of the emotions expressed by anyone on the ship including himself and the other Vulcans. That kind of unexpected cacophony would be nothing more than a full psychic assault. He knew what that was like from conducting a mild meld on the one of the Betazoid members of the crew. Tuvok almost did not survive the onslaught of thoughts and emotions that crashed into him. He was unable to control the overwhelming images sent to him which provoked violent emotions in him.
It took weeks of intense mediation after medical treatment to recreate his mental barriers. And Tuvok was better trained than Tom with longer experience. As a candidate for the Kolinahr, he practiced intense ritualistic meditations for hours on end in the preparation for learning to purge all emotions from him. True, he abandoned the teaching and left the temple because his true interest lay in space exploration so he joined Starfleet. But his training formed the basis of his expert meditation skills and he was more advanced than most Vulcans his age. Tuvok did not know who assisted Tom Paris in his training but he suspected no one until perhaps later in life. It was obvious that even his parents did not know. He's certain that Admiral Paris would have had Tom training in the diplomatic corps, grooming him for an ambassadorial assignment one day, instead of flying star ships if he knew.
Tuvok made a judgment call that was logical and necessary. Humans were rarely logical though Tom worked hard at when he chose to. He was not sure how Tom would react but the greater good was at stake. The potential fall out from revealing his knowledge of Tom's secret was outweighed by what would most likely occur if he did not intervene. Tuvok decided that they would deal with that later. Choosing his words carefully so that he could get his point across while assuring his friend that his discretion was secured, he set about mitigating the damage before it became irreversible. He also decided that a more formal address might help Tom retain his pride while accepting that his secret was not a secret.
"Mr. Paris, there are approximately 185 beings on this ship. All of them experience some degree of emotion at times. Even the Vulcans on board. If your empathic shielding is severally weakened or destroyed the resulting psychological damage will be sever and permanent."
Tuvok said nothing else as he waited for full understanding to register. He knew Tom Paris well enough to surmise that he was engaging in fruitless mental backpedaling in an attempt to formulate some argument intended to dissuade him of his assumption. When Tom's head snapped up Tuvok instantly saw that he was about to feign ignorance. He believed it prudent to cut off all denials that would do nothing but waste time that was obviously critical. He could see the struggle within as Tom fought for some measure of control. Admirable but ultimately pointless. He merely raised his eyebrow in response. A Vulcan gesture meant to convey that the 'jig was up.'
"How long?"
He knew Tom would want to know. Though Tuvok thought it served little purpose, he wouldn't lie to him. Plus, he figured that the sooner they got through these questions, the sooner he could be of assistance and Mr. Paris would be strong enough to meditate on his own for a few hours to make up the difference in his own way.
"I inadvertently learned during our mind meld. It was not my intention to invade your privacy but a deeper scan than normal was required to gain all the facts and lead us to the evidence needed to exonerate you."
Tom stared open mouthed. [That was almost a year ago!] He could not believe Tuvok knew for that length of time and said nothing. Worse, he did not discontinue their association. Tom still couldn't wrap his mind around that. Nor could he understand why a Vulcan would permit himself to be friends with a human empath. It did not make any sense. [Wouldn't he prefer not to be around someone who knew he had emotions???] Still he said nothing.
Tuvok took this time to lay out his suggestion for assistance. He would initiate a less intensive mind meld and literally assist in helping to reconstruct his mental barriers. After that he recommended that Tom engage in several hours of meditation to 'even things out'. Then he waited for Tom to agree or disagree. The only response Tuvok got was the continued stare. Finally, he had a mental image of the human idiom, dear caught in the headlights. It was...amusing.
"Tom?"
"Thanks for the offer but I don't think you want to do that."
"Why?"
"Remember Suder? He was Betazoid—an empath."
"This situation is dissimilar. In addition to being empathic, Ensign Suder was schizophrenic and severely unstable. That resulted in the neurochemical imbalance in my mesiofrontal cortex. You are not."
"Still, its not a good idea."
Tuvok was an extremely patient man but time was not on Tom Paris' side. He asked again,
"Why?"
Tom did not want to admit it. To himself or his friend. Or future former friend as Tom mentally rephrased it.
"I wasn't as prepared for today as I needed to be. I...can feel...more stuff is coming through from others on board. I can't shut them out. It might bleed onto you. I'm not sure I can control it."
Then he closed his eyes as an even greater sense of mortification set in. He just admitted to a Vulcan that not only could he no longer control his own emotions, he was probably going to start broadcasting those of others. It was all starting to take its tool on him and he couldn't suppress the tremors in his hand when he raised it to brush the hair out of his face. When he caught sight of it he immediately dropped his hand and looked up at Tuvok to see if he noticed. Big mistake. He did. [Great! This day is just going to hell at warp 9!]
Tuvok saw and he knew the seriousness of the situation. There wasn't much time and he would not waste anymore on pointless debate. He reminded himself that Tom was not in the best state of mind to embrace logic as he was most probably picking up every emotion within two or three decks from their current location. He said nothing at first then gave him a pointed look and turned his gaze downward indicating the trembling hand.
"You require assistance and I am in a position to provide it. You must realize that time is of the essence. All you need do is accept what is offered in friendship."
Not waiting any longer he moved over toward the couch and sat down.
"The alternative is a visit to sick bay which will require a regiment of medication to suppress your empathic ability. You will also be required to wear a very visible cortical monitor for several days. I do not believe you wish the Doctor to intervene when this can be accomplished quickly and quietly between friends. Do I have your consent?"
For the second time in less than 24 hours, Tom Paris sat back on his couch after being defeated by one of his friends. All he could do was nod hoping that Tuvok managed to survive this.
While all Vulcans can be the recipient of a mind meld, only a small number are able to initiate one. A general misconception exists among other races that all Vulcans possess this ability. It is a rare gift though there was a time in Vulcan history, during the 22nd century when it was outlawed and melders were considered a threat to the very fabric of Vulcan society. All Vulcans are touch telepaths, which is why they do not permit physical contact with others outside of their family or very close friends, especially by members of other species. They are also able to conduct mind probes, or a mind touch as it is often referred to. This does not require physical contact nor does it facilitate the exchange of emotions. That is one reason that type of telepathy has always been accepted in Vulcan society. It is merely a general form of communication.
Tuvok's psychic abilities are even more rare than most beyond his capability to initiate mind melds. He is one of an even smaller number of Vulcans who do not require touch or a mind meld to initiate or participate in telepathic communication. An extensive amount of intensive training is given to those who possess such gifts. With most, their telepathic ability is much stronger than other Vulcans though their telepathic range is usually limited to short distances. This was one reason he was strongly encouraged to train at the Temple of Amonak longer than others and his success was why he was selected as a candidate for the Kolinahr. His decision to abandon the training in leu of Starfleet led to a schism between he and his father and disappointed all but one of his teachers.
A true mind meld allows both parties to share the same consciousness. The recipient must open their mind so that the two move together as one. Both persons share thoughts, memories and emotions.
Tuvok placed his hand on Tom's right temple and began.
"My mind to your mind. Your thoughts to my thoughts. Our minds are merging. Our thoughts are becoming as one."
It might have been accomplished quietly as no one else was present but there was nothing quick about it. There was additional time wasted during the mind meld because Tom's natural instinct was to resist Tuvok once the connection was established. Tuvok was absolutely amazed at the out of body 3D flash of emotions he was witnessing. He immediately recognized a difference between the last time they participated in a mind meld. Then, Tuvok was viewing the memories stored in the neural implant the Banean injected Tom with. It was a deep scan that caused him to access all of the information needed to free him from the charges but it also allowed him to learn that Tom is empathic. But this was completely different. It was also unlike his experience with Suder. Tuvok was safe from the emotions Tom was experiencing from other members of the crew. He was, however, treated to a front row seat and back-draft of Tom's emotions. Tuvok was amazed at the extent Tom actually suppressed. He did not think it possible for a human but he had proof that it was. Because of this Tuvok realized that significant changes in Tom's meditation practices would have to be made. Tom would have to start learning some of the more advanced Vulcan techniques designed to expel the emotions after they were suppressed. It was apparent that Tom was merely piling them on top of each other and moving on. Tuvok suspected this was adding to the psychic strain on his mental shields.
When Tom wasn't fighting Tuvok he was trying to rush him so that the connection could be broken before any damage was done to him. While Tuvok appreciated the sentiment, he had to remind Tom that hastily erected mental shields were defeated the purpose because more time and effort in the future would be wasted correcting what should have been right in the first place. Tom was not amused.
And then he cracked. Had it not been for Tuvok in his mind or him in Tuvok's mind, he wasn't quite sure, he would have been gone. The equivalent of a complete psychotic break would have been the result. While Tuvok did not relish the extent of damage his friend incurred he could not help admitting that the timing was more than perfect. Tom no longer had the ability to resist and was forced to take refuge in his mind. Tuvok called on all of his experience and training to guide Tom to a secure place and allow him a true respite from the storm of emotions cascading over him. The additional benefit, from Tuvok's Vulcan efficient perspective, was that he could work the way he wanted with no interruption from Tom.
All things considered it was not too bad. After two hours, enough work was done so that Tom could actively participate. When it was all said and done, Tom got the distinct impression he'd just undergone some Vulcan shield enhancement because he felt a lot stronger. Tuvok did not think it necessary to explain that wasn't technically the case. Because of Tom's fragile condition when they began, Tuvok was a master craftsman and Tom was—playing with building blocks. It would not serve a purpose other than to remind Tom of the extent of his situation when they began. That was the point. Tom was more than capable of maintaining and fortifying his shields but the situation on Voyager was just too strange for any empath. It was like requiring someone stare at the sun. The constant pounding he was taking was a bit much at times and Tom admitted he was not as prepared as he needed to be.
Once their minds were disengaged, Tuvok did not allow Tom any time to be embarrassed at his need for assistance or to dwell on the fact that his secret was out. He lit Tom's meditation lamp and guided him into the first stage of Rhi-Sia. He stayed for another hour to monitor Tom's meditation and then left. Tuvok knew it might raise some suspicion should the captain attempt to contact Tom, but it could not be helped. He activated a privacy seal on both Tom's quarters and his com badge so there would be no interruptions during this delicate time. Then checked in with the others so that they did not disturb him for the rest of the evening.
Tuvok wanted to make sure that Harry was in better spirits. He was very curious about Harry Kim's emotional disposition. Never had he encountered a human with such a naturally mild disposition. The only emotion Harry Kim ever expressed—and now Tuvok had to amend that to experienced— in the extreme was joy or happiness. It was definitely an oddity in human behavior. As a Vulcan, however, Tuvok found that refreshing. The dark times before Surak brought Vulcans enlightenment through logic and his philosophy of suppressing or purging emotions, Vulcans were an extremely violent race. At any given time up to 90% of the planet was engaged in clan warfare of one kind or another. Their emotions are much stronger and much more intense than humans or other humanoid species. That is why they have abandoned them.
Security did not contact him so he was assured that Seven nor B'Elanna misbehaved. Then he planned to return to his quarters and undergo some extensive mediation of his own. He had no idea that something else was wrong.
Captain Janeway left the conference room after the staff meeting and went directly to her Ready room to review Tom's proposal. No doubt about it, the idea was good. They did need something like that. There were some things she was not familiar with including the semi-organic biotechnology. It was still a Federation theory. She had to admit, she was hooked. Then she thought about some of the things that occurred in the meeting. It was obvious that there was a great deal of polarization on the senior staff when it came to Tom. She was not sure what that was all about but it was clear that none of them were happy about the situation. That caused her to consider Chakotay. As far as she knew, the situation was resolved between them after the crews merged. She did detect some resentment after the Kazon mission and realized that she had not considered Tom's feelings in the situation as carefully as she might have. However, it was a command decision and a sound one. She would stick by it. Moreover, that was over two years ago. Chakotay could not possibly still be harboring any resentment from that? She thought it prudent to find out. Granted, she did not believe that Tom was capable of something like this but the way that Seven addressed Chakotay made it perfectly clear that she had a serious problem with Chakotay's attitude toward Tom. Something had to be done.
"Janeway to Chakotay."
"Chakotay."
"When you have a few minutes can you stop by my Ready room?"
"Sure, I'm on my way if that's ok."
"Fine. Janeway out."
He was sure he knew what she wanted to talk to him about. He just wasn't up for the conversation.
"Enter."
Chakotay noticed immediately that she was sitting on the couch and already had the tea out. That meant she wanted to 'chat' and they'd probably be there for some time. She wasn't sure how to start the conversation but since she didn't feel like dancing she figured she'd just hit the ground running.
"What happened in the staff meeting?"
[Ok, that's one way of getting to it.]
"What do you mean?"
"Let's not play games, Chakotay. I admit that I was just as surprised as you were by the presentation and the whole idea. Not to mention finding out that Tom came up with the whole thing."
He relaxed a bit at her words.
"It is unbelievable."
"Not according to five members of the senior staff. Not one of them looked like either of us were staying on their Christmas card list for long. Seven's words were pretty powerful."
"What are you saying, Katherine?"
"As shocked as I was, you were openly hostile and accusatory enough for her to inform you that you were close to crossing some very dangerous lines. Dishonorable, illogical, fraudulent. She managed to put all the buzz words in one statement."
Chakotay really didn't know what to say. He didn't know what the problem was and he wasn't sure why he reacted like that but Tom Paris always got him riled up.
"I guess I just lost my cool. I don't know. It was something out of the blue, completely unexpected."
"I get the sense from the others that they expected your reaction. It was apparent that Harry, Seven, Tuvok, and even B'Elanna expected your reaction or something close to it. Looking back on it, the way they each jumped in they expected something like that from both of us. If you notice, the only time one of them spoke was to assure us that it was Tom's work. That's it. Or in Seven's case, to threaten us."
That made him sit quietly for a few long moments thinking about what she said. Then something didn't add up.
"Tuvok? He didn't open his mouth."
"Didn't have to. I've known the man a long time. He wasn't happy about either of our conduct toward a fellow officer and his look spoke volumes. I'm not sure what the look he sent Tom was about but it was obviously in support."
"Well, you're better at reading him than I am."
Just a hint of snide in that remark pulled her up short. Yeah, she's missed a lot.
"Chakotay, are you still harboring feelings of resentment toward Tom or Tuvok for their role in flushing out the Kazon spy?"
She put it out there and Chakotay had to deal with it. What did she want him to say? He was played for a fool twice by the same two people. Same three if he included Seska. It was an embarrassment. And now he had to put up with them. Tuvok, ok, he could understand that Vulcan logic probably made everything alright for him. And he understood that Tuvok's lack of emotions meant he had no clue how his actions would affect Chakotay. But, Paris was a different story. He knew. There was so much there from before. And it wasn't just about flushing out the Kazon spy, Paris made him look like a fool in front of the entire crew and everybody knew it. To top it off, she gives him a field promotion.
Chakotay was too quiet for too long. Janeway had her answer and realized she should have had it a long time ago. It would not do for the staff to be separated by personal issues when they affect ship's business. She realized that whatever negative feelings her First Officer held for her pilot were the real reason he attacked him during the meeting. Stepping back, she was forced to admit it was an attack on his character, credibility and his general ability. Had Neelix submitted the same report there would have been skepticism but it would not have been a negatively charged atmosphere. This was not something she wanted to deal with. But, she was the captain and she was going to deal with it.
"Chakotay?"
"What do you want me to say? He irritates me. He's a goof off and he isn't serious about anything except flying this ship. Which I admit he does well. Other than that, what's the point. And, I'm still trying to figure out what his angle is."
"Angle?"
"Yeah, what does he get out of this new shuttle? Except getting to fly it."
"Chakotay, did you hear what you just said? A member of the senior staff spent—we have no idea how long—designing something more advanced than Starfleet Corp of Engineers has ever attempted and your only response is what does he get out of it?"
Then she sat back on the couch and stared at him for a few moments.
"He's a goof off who isn't serious about anything? Cite me some examples, please. I'm not saying you're wrong on that I'm saying give me something to back that up. Cause I'm looking at the duty roster and from what I can see something isn't adding up."
That causes him to perk up in his seat just a bit.
"What do you mean?"
"In addition to his regular bridge shifts, he works 2 shifts a week with the Doctor and volunteered to be on call two days a week other than during Alpha shift. I checked the holo deck logs. Only program he's run in the last 6 months is this Delta Flyer. That's the name of the shuttle. Sure, he could be at Sandrines or a guest in someone else's program but I bet he's not. And, I know that you don't like Tuvok. I won't even address that, but we are both aware that the two of them spend time together. Even in your dislike for Tuvok I doubt you could accuse him of engaging in activity one could call goofing off.
My understanding from Neelix is that Tom is learning Vulcan. I've known Tuvok a long time. I tried. I tried even his Vulcan patience. I can't speak Vulcan. And Neelix says that Tom babysits Naomi Wildman at least one night a week for the past year so Sam can get a break. Free. Nothing exchanged. Just doing it because. What's going on?"
Chakotay doesn't really know what to say to any of that. Fine. He's not a goof off. And maybe he has some redeeming talent but that doesn't erase the past. As if picking up on his thoughts,
"Unless those aren't your real reasons for disliking him. Yes, I'm officially ready to classify it as dislike. And I really shouldn't even get involved in that except that you involved me in it when you took something personal and threw it in the middle of ship's business. Tom didn't say a word and now that I'm forced to sit back and think over things in the last several months, Tom never says a word. He's quiet all the time. Neelix felt compelled to come in here and share some things about his observations of Tom over the past 1 ½ years because he thought—and I quote 'you and the Commander might not be aware of.' Even he sees that there is some kind of prejudice on one or both of our parts. I'm going to take a long hard look in the mirror but I already say that you are out of line.
All these things I listed earlier our Moral Officer thought WE needed to know before we made a decision on the shuttle. That means at least all of the senior staff are of the opinion that WE have some kind of bias against him as an individual that might cloud our professional judgment. What do you think?"
Chakotay's still not saying anything. He didn't think it was this bad. He also figured it could be an act.
"We all see what a good actor he can be when he wants. How are we supposed to know all these things are for real?"
"What does any of it have to do with the fact that we need the shuttle and he came up with the idea? Are you going to go against it just because its HIS idea?"
"You believe its his work?"
She just stared at him.
"Between you and me Chakotay don't ever say that to anyone else. I'll keep quiet but if it gets back to B'Elanna or Seven I am not going to step in nor will I call security. They both put you on notice today. Don't think I didn't see Seven practically drag B'Elanna out of the conference room when she was heading toward you. You didn't just question her honor, you directly challenged her and we both know it. I don't understand much about what's going on with B'Elanna or the changes in her but I KNOW not to go there."
"Katherine, I don't know what to say. I admit that I crossed the line during the meeting. I didn't see it as that and really hadn't thought about it. Things just happened so fast. Seven made me think and I wasn't trying to insult her or B'Elanna it was just a surprise."
He stopped but she knew he had more so she didn't interrupt. After taking a deep breath and exhaling,
"I suppose I have some unresolved issues with Tom. Or at least what he represents. Tuvok as well but he has a better excuse. When we beamed aboard and I saw Tom at the helm—well you were there you know what happened. Then Tuvok waltzes over to tactical and I see another member of my crew is actually a member of yours. But that Kazon thing was too much. I'm supposed to be your First Officer but you didn't trust—at the very least—my acting ability."
She saw the damage in living color but could not understand something.
"Chakotay, that was three years ago. Are you...do you have unresolved issues with me as well?"
His head whipped around and he only stared at her like she was crazy.
"Of course not. Why would you think that?"
"Because I'm the one who went to Tom and convinced him to come on the mission. He didn't want to and he never told me anything about the Maquis or you. I'm the one who ordered Tom to do everything he did to flush out the spy and get on Seska's good side. He did not want to do that. I had to—and I am not proud of it—use every piece of emotional blackmail I could think of to get him to agree. I mean I pulled out stuff from when he was 6 years old. He begged me, literally begged me, to tell you about it. I wouldn't and I ordered him not to either. Looking back on that I should have been suspicious of why he was so adamant that I specifically tell you. Not Harry or anyone else he had to piss off, just you. Any ideas? Or is our ace pilot clairvoyant? Did he see this coming or what?"
After speaking with Tuvok, Harry went back to his quarters to cool off. He really didn't think it was possible for him to get so worked up. Harry Kim wasn't so naive that he wasn't aware of the fact that worked up for him was merely annoyed for everyone else. Didn't matter. He whipped out his clarinet and 10 minutes later he was feeling right as rain. He still didn't know what they could do to fix the situation or help convince the captain that Tom's idea was a good one. He knew Tom's master plan and approved for many reasons. He also knew that Tom didn't have a chance in hell of putting it in motion if he couldn't get over this hump. Harry could see how excited Tom was even if he didn't admit it. He could also see that for a few minutes early on in the meeting, his friend seemed to think he might have a shot. Chakotay dashed all those hopes as soon as he opened his mouth and Harry saw Tom shut down.
Two hours later B'Elanna and Seven stopped by. He could tell that B'Elanna put Seven through the paces. Secretly, he wished B'Elanna had taken a swing at Chakotay. Then he got over that because gratuitous violence really wasn't in Harry's nature.
"Hey Starfleet. You must have been really ticked. The clarinet and...what's that a banjo?"
Seven smirked.
"It is not a banjo. For someone who spent a considerable amount of time among humans you lack basic knowledge of their musical instruments."
"Duh. So what is it?"
Harry answered after he stopped laughing.
"It's a Vulcan Lute. Also known as a lyrette or a harp."
B'Elanna picked it up and turned it over in her hands a few times.
"Ok. But its pretty small for a harp. Can you play this thing?"
"Yeah, I can play it. I found it in the data base after the travesty that was my last ass kicking at Kaltoh."
Then he turned to Seven with narrowed eyes and shook his finger.
"Don't think I didn't find out that Pleenok is a kid's game. Training tool for primary Vulcan logic my foot. Its for kids 5 and under!"
B'Elanna didn't know that and laughed in his face.
"Well, Vulcan's live a lot longer than humans and they age differently so factor in the differential and you're about in the right range."
"You're not helping. Nor are you funny."
Seven decided to defuse the situation.
"Were you successful at Pleenok? Regardless of the age it was intended, I imagine that the skills it was intended to teach are more important."
"Actually, yeah I've been playing it for a few months. Tuvok already put the Vulcan spin on it with lots of logical advice so you can skip it."
"Good. So how'd you come by the lute or whatever its called? And are you better at it than Kaltoh?"
"Shut up B'Elanna. But to answer your question, I'm very good at it. Not a master but I studied the history etc. Then I took some holographic lessons. I've been practicing for a few months. Music comes naturally for me."
"So, do we get to hear you or what?"
"Yes, I would enjoy listening as well. Your choice of relaxation techniques is less...strenuous than B'Elanna's."
B'Elanna rolled her eyes at that then plopped down on the couch and gave Harry a wave of the hand that said, hop to it. He did.