Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin does not belong to me. Nor does "Easier to Run," or "Somewhere I Belong," both by Linkin Park.
A/N: Originally I was going to do this with "What a fool believes," but then I bought the Linkin Park "Meteora" CD, and I found that these lyrics could cover both parts of the fanfic that I wanted to do.
This is basically reversing the typical Kenshin leaves again thing, (although I do like the Kenshin leaving again stories if it's done tastefully…*cough* 'Love Medley' by DarkFairy *cough*) where Kaoru leaves instead of Kenshin and leaves the dojo in his care and stuff. There's a part 2 included in this (long) one-shot, but I won't give that away.
Also, I figured out that in "Easier to Run," the lyrics where they rap doesn't fit what I'm trying to get, so the rapping lyrics for "Easier to Run" won't be appearing in this fanfic.
And in "Somewhere I Belong," I only used lyrics that fit. This basically, actually, goes with the whole fanfic.
Now on with the fanfic!
Meteora
By: Spellcaster the Diamond
Part 1: Easier to Run.
~*~*~*~
It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone
~*~*~*~
She tossed and turned in her sleep. The dreams had come back to haunt her yet again. She had never told anyone about the dreams before. For they were also memories that had haunted her mind. They made her hate waking up at night…
'It's your fault…' the voice rang, loud and clear, in the wind. Kaoru was just a little girl, covering her ears, while sitting out in the cold night.
"No! He told me it wasn't my fault! My father wouldn't lie to me!"
'It's your fault, Kaoru. It's your fault!' The voice got louder and louder.
It was too much for her to hear…
"NO!"
And the cry rang through the air as she began to cry, covering her ears and denying that this was the fault of hers.
Kaoru shot awake. "It wasn't my fault you died!" She cried out as she sat up quickly.
Then she realized it was just reliving that memory. She had dreamed it again. And, just as she had when she was little, she covered her ears and cried slightly.
'Mother…why is your spirit so mean to me?' She thought. She had been asking this since she was a little girl.
Then a new chain of thought ran through her head. She needed to think it over, so she got out of bed and went into the dojo. She sat down and pondered everything she thought was worth thinking about.
~*~*~*~
Something has been taken
From deep inside of me
A secret I've kept locked away
No one can ever see
~*~*~*~
'I wonder…is her soul just resting in here to haunt my dreams when she sees fit?'
That's it! Maybe it was just here. Where she lived. Maybe her whole house was what was haunting her…with the spirit of her mother.
~*~*~*~
Wounds so deep they never show
They never go away
Like moving pictures in my head
For years and years they've played
~*~*~*~
"Was it my fault mother died?" The young girl asked her father, who was training.
He stopped just for a second, wondering what suddenly brought this up.
Then, not even turning around to look at her, he shook his head and said sternly, "No."
It was all Kaoru needed to hear. However, just that night when she asked her father, she heard a voice talking to her.
"Mother?" She asked when it first talked to her. She didn't know how she knew, she just…knew.
'Yes…' the voice was kind, but the attitude completely changed as an outbreak of feeling shone on the wind.
Blames shot from the voice in the wind, and denial shot back from Kaoru.
A back and forth feeling that had never been settled…
~*~*~*~
Sometimes I remember
The darkness of my past
Bringing back these memories
I wish I didn't have
~*~*~*~
"And it will never be settled either," the words sounded frozen as they escaped from Kaoru's mouth. She sighed. She was eighteen now, and still those memories were haunting her.
Maybe this was almost one reason why she was afraid of Kenshin ever leaving her. She wouldn't have any protection from the pictures in her mind.
But then again, she had realized that if she left, then her mother's spirit couldn't follow her. All memories rested here. All memories could only haunt her dreams here. It was all here. She could just leave…and all the painful memories would be gone.
~*~*~*~
Sometimes I think of letting go
And never looking back
And never moving forward so
There'd never be a past
~*~*~*~
That brought up a whole new topic. She couldn't just leave the dojo abandoned here. She could leave the care with Yahiko. No, that wouldn't do.
'I could leave it with Kenshin, I guess…'
However, her hand shot up to her mouth.
'Oh my gosh, I'd leave…I'd leave him behind…I'd leave…Kenshin…'
She couldn't bear the thought of leaving him, as he had left her once. She had remembered how painful it had been for her when he had left.
But he wasn't her, that's for sure. He was far from that. There were so many differences between the two, that she nearly cursed herself for worrying about him as if his life and feelings were like hers.
So she had settled it. She would leave.
Then a voice got through to her.
"Kaoru-dono?"
Her head snapped to his voice.
"Kaoru-dono, what are you doing here?"
"I…I couldn't sleep."
"So you came here?" Kenshin had a suspicious look on his face.
Kaoru just nodded.
He sighed. He couldn't argue with her.
"A-Actually…" Kaoru began.
"Actually?"
Kenshin was beginning to get worried.
Kaoru couldn't say it. She just motioned for him to come closer and sit beside her. He did so, never losing eye contact with her. Worry and guilt were the only feelings Kenshin could find in her navy eyes.
As he sat down, Kaoru bit her lip.
'How will you tell him? Just say that you're leaving and then walk away?'
She couldn't. She couldn't do that.
"Kenshin, I've been keeping things from you. It's a memory that still haunts me. I think you should know it now."
Kenshin's eyes widened. He was shocked, and didn't know how to react to what she had just said. Then he knew the only thing he could really do, and that was to listen.
So he did.
…
As she finished repeating the memories to him, Kenshin's mind was spinning with confusion. She hadn't told him before, was the first thought, and then, 'would her mother's spirit really do that to her?'
It was no matter now.
"I have a favor to ask of you, Kenshin."
He turned his attention to her again. Kaoru had suddenly gotten paler.
"Kenshin, would you come with me to the lake? I just have to go there…"
That confused him even more. There was something peculiar in the shaky tone she had asked him with. But he cared about Kaoru so much, he couldn't refuse her right now.
"Hai, Kaoru-do…Kaoru."
~*~*~*~
Just washing it aside
All of the helplessness inside
Pretending I don't feel misplaced
Is so much simpler than change
~*~*~*~
Kaoru stared out over the calm water. She could smell a similar dark smell in the air. There was only one firefly buzzing around her feet, and then went around Kenshin's.
"Kaoru-dono, why did you bring me here?"
Kaoru had to stay strong, but her feelings for him were crushing her heart. She couldn't see him again…ever. These would be the last words she'd say to him.
"Kenshin, these memories are only haunting me because I'm staying at my dojo…"
A chill went up Kenshin's spine. He knew what she was about to do. He didn't want to admit it to himself, but deep down he knew what was coming.
"I'm leaving."
It was like someone took a dagger to his heart.
~*~*~*~
It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone
~*~*~*~
"No, Kaoru…you can't go!"
Kaoru's eyes began to well with tears. He looked so sad and pitiful.
"Why not? Do you want memories to kill me?!"
"…No…but…" Kenshin said, defeated, then he added, "Wait, I'll go with you!"
"Kenshin, I need you to look after the dojo. Please do that favor for me. And whatever you do, DON'T FOLLOW ME." She put her hand on his cheek. "Will you, please?"
Kenshin was shaking, but he accepted and nodded. Kaoru turned to go, but he didn't let go of her.
"Kenshin…"
He couldn't do it. He couldn't let her go.
The feelings were welling up inside of him, and it was as if he would do something strange…
Then he took his sakabatou and it's sheath out from his belt and handed it to her. "You need this more than I do now."
Kaoru's eyes widened, still lined with tears. She took it from his hand. It was strangely light, she expected it to be heavier. But the pain in her heart was even greater.
She couldn't stay here, though.
So she did something completely unexpected.
Softly she pressed her lips against his, and then broke away, turning to leave.
Kenshin was in total shock. As she left, he let her raven hair slip through his fingers, and she left without the faintest trace, as if he had come here for no reason.
"I can't believe it…no…"
Kenshin was shaking uncontrollably now. He covered his eyes with his hand as he shut them tightly. A tear escaped one a violet eye and hit the ground. He then looked at the ground as a few other tears followed. Then he realized that he was crying.
Kenshin sunk to the ground, feeling her name escape his lips, as if it were like breathing. He uttered her name until he fell asleep by the river, tears still staining his eyes.
~*~*~*~
It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone
~*~*~*~
~*~@~*~@~*~@~*~@~*~@~*~@~*~@~*~@~*~@~*~@~*~
Part 2: Somewhere I Belong
~*~*~*~
When this began
I had nothing to say
And I'd get lost in the nothingness inside of me
(I was confused)
And let it all out to find that I'm not the only person with these things in mind
~*~*~*~
Two years. That's how long it had been since Kaoru left. To Kenshin, those two years had seemed longer than his own wandering years.
He had kept his promise, though, and had been watching the dojo. Also, he didn't ever follow her. Plus, he hadn't heard from where she was, he wouldn't know where to go to look for her anyway.
Meanwhile, Yahiko was watching from the steps. He hated seeing Kenshin like this, moping for two years and not being himself anymore. Yahiko cursed Kaoru for doing this…although he didn't even know why she left in the first place. Kenshin didn't talk about it much.
~*~*~*~
Inside of me
But all the vacancy the words revealed
Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel
Nothing to lose
Just stuck, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own
And the fault is my own
~*~*~*~
Kaoru walked down the streets, Kenshin's sakabatou hanging from the belt of the new pants she had bought. Her outfit was completely new, she had changed. And best of all, since she wasn't in Tokyo anymore, the memories didn't pain her even when she slightly thought about them. Or…she thought this was best of all. Her mind was filled with memories of Kenshin when she wasn't doing anything else. The good thing about this though, was that most of those memories were happy ones. But sometimes, before she drifted off to sleep, she saw a firefly in front of her face, and painful memories of their good-byes flooded her memory, and she found herself wondering if this was where she belonged.
~*~*~*~
I want to heal
I want to feel
What I thought was never real
I want to heal
I want to feel
I want to find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong…
~*~*~*~
Kenshin and Sanosuke had just been lucky to be in the Akabeko that day. For they overheard a conversation, and it's not like it wasn't their business, because it technically what Kenshin needed to hear.
"It's so strange, she can kick some major butt and protect people so easily, but she can't even come to Tokyo. It's like she's scared!" They heard one man say. Kenshin and Sano's ears perked up, and Kenshin immediately, and on instinct, turned around and asked,
"Who?!"
The man turned to Kenshin and stared at him for a little bit. The two other guys with the man raised their eyebrows quizzically.
One of them said, "Kaoru the Ronin, of course…"
Kenshin and Sano asked in unison, "RONIN?!"
"Yeah, don't tell me you haven't heard." The first one said.
"Hey, they've probably stayed in Tokyo for the past few years, so they wouldn't know," another pointed out.
"Right."
Kenshin felt like he could finally get the information he needed. "Could you please tell me more?"
The closest one smiled and then began to speak.
"Well, you see, Kaoru the Ronin just appeared in various places a few years ago, and could just about protect anybody!"
"Anybody?" Kenshin raised his eyebrow. This didn't sound like the Kaoru he knew. Sure, she was amazingly strong, but…still…
"Of course, she keeps to her job and sometimes has a few people help her if she's called to help someone. Once I even heard that she and that wandering boy, er, what was his name again?"
The skinniest man answer through gritted teeth, "It was Soujiro, you idiot…"
"Yeah that's it! I heard that she and Soujiro have defeated a few guys together!"
"Strange."
"What, you know her or something?"
Kenshin blushed a little. "You…could say that. Do you know where she is now?"
The men nodded.
"Please tell me."
~*~*~*~
Nothing to lose
Nothing to gain
Hollow and alone
And the fault is my own
And the fault is my own
~*~*~*~
Kenshin stood at the lake. He had made up his mind. He apologized silently into the wind, hoping it would reach her.
"Kaoru, I'm sorry I couldn't keep my promise. But my place is with you…"
With that said, he set off down the road to where he knew she'd be.
~*~*~*~
I will never know
Myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel
Anything else until my wounds are healed
~*~*~*~
Kaoru sat up quickly. She had thought that she had heard Kenshin's voice. But it was just the wind. She laughed at herself. He could never possibly come for her…
Suddenly, she was full of a strange feeling again. Kaoru told herself that this feeling was the "yearning" feeling.
"Kenshin."
The name slid off of her tongue easily, and she put her back up against a tree, and closed her eyes for a few seconds. She could feel a teardrop slide coldly down her face.
It was strange, how tears felt hot in your eyes, but when they were released and fell down your cheeks, they were cold. It was so…strange.
Then she talked into the wind as well.
"Kenshin, I'm so sorry. But away from Tokyo is where I belong. Is it?"
Was being away from Kenshin sub-consciously tormenting her more than how she was in Tokyo?
'Where do I belong? Someone tell me!' she thought.
~*~*~*~
I will never be
Anything until I break away form me
I will break away
I'll find myself today
~*~*~*~
It had been days. Kenshin had followed the men's directions, but he couldn't find Kaoru anywhere.
He had to rest. Up ahead, he saw a tree. He sat down and put his back against it.
Strangely, he heard a small cry on the other side of the tree.
This stirred him a little. He turned to look on the other side of the tree and started asking, 'Who's there?'
However, his voice wouldn't let him say anything.
The soft crying ceased as the girl on the other side of the tree looked up, noticing that someone was there.
The two were so shocked that they just stared at each other for a few moments.
Finally, Kenshin regained his voice. "K-Kaoru?"
She looked so much different. She wore white hakama and a navy gi, and her hair was tied up with a dark red ribbon. But as she smiled at him, he knew it was her. Her scent, her eyes, and her smile could never be forgotten. He knew it was her.
Kaoru was so happy to see his face again. It had been so long!
"Kenshin!" She said happily and threw her arms around his neck.
The two began laughing as they embraced each other. After they had settled a little bit, Kenshin looked Kaoru right in the eye.
"Kaoru, I followed you here for a reason that I hope you won't find useless, because it was the only light for me."
Kaoru blinked and motioned for him to continue.
"It's because my place…is with you. Wherever you are, that's where I'm supposed to be."
A fresh batch of tears rimmed her eyes, only these were tears of joy.
"I belong with you too, Kenshin! I just realized…and it took me this long. As long as you're with me, I can never be afraid. I know where I belong now."
Kenshin smiled at her, and she smiled back. They hugged again, and Kaoru whispered into his ear:
"Aishiteru…forever."
~*~*~*~
I want to heal
I want to feel
Like I'm close to something real.
I want to find something I've wanted all along.
Somewhere I belong…
~*~*~*~
…Owari…
A/N: Well, what did you think? Corny, beautiful, good waff, or oh my gosh that was so lame? Please leave a review and tell me!
I guess you could say I'm pretty much satisfied even though I left out a lot of lyrics. It doesn't matter. The lyrics I used got my point across…I think.
Plz review!
