Chapter 7
Does anyone know how to drive?
Elrond pulled up in front of Imladris just as Pippin and Merry
were running out. Fortunately they were wearing top hats and black
mustaches and Elrond didn't notice them.
When he got inside he was very disturbed to see that the lock
on his "garage" had been picked and his secret stash of pot had been
raided. "MERRY!!! PIPPIN!!!"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Merry and Pippin who had now discarded their disguises were
running to their means of transportation. Neither of them had managed to
pass driving school. So neither of them had a car. "Lucky we found this
master key in Elrond's pot stash," Pippin mused out loud as he opened the
door to Elrond's Toyota Landcruiser and took a seat in the drivers
position.
The car was a little big so they had to work together. Merry
sat on top of a bunch of old telephone books and did the steering, while
Pippin was on the floor controlling the petals. "Ok, now ease it into
reverse." Merry said slowly as he glanced behind him. Pippin switched
the gear to reverse then pressed on the petal.
"Big toe, big toe." Merry said as the car began to slowly back
up.
Then, all of a sudden, the car slammed backwards and out of the
driveway. Running over several garden gnomes and a plastic flamingo in
the process. The car went backwards several feet before slamming into a
telephone pole. "I said big toe!" Merry said angrily.
"Is that what you said? I thought you said, 'Slam the petal
down as hard as you can!' My mistake!" Pippin said innocently as the
two hobbits got out of the car to examine the damage.
Luckily, the car was virtually unharmed except for the huge
dent on the side. "Thanks to our ever trustworthy floatie!" Pippin said
as he picked up an inner tube that they had placed around the car on
hopes of preventing to much damage to the car. It was deflated and had
holes all over it.
Merry sniffed. "So brave! Going down in the line of duty like
that! Rest in peace floatie!" Merry said as he sobbed then, obnoxiously
loudly, blew his nose.
"Cummon Merry! We have to get to hooters!" Pippin said as he
aided his grieving friend into the car.
So the hobbits drove to hooters running over three elves, demolishing
exactly fifty-three garden gnomes (Merry had counted), knocking over a
McDonald's sign, and managing to burn down three buildings in the
process.
"How the heck did we do that?" Pippin thought as they drove
away from a dry cleaning store, which had randomly caught on fire when
they had backed into it.
And it was in this condition that the two hobbits parked what
was left of Elrond's S.U.V. and ran over to an impatient Legolas.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
As Aragorn finished setting up the rest of his plan he thought,
'This will finally be revenge enough for all the things you've done to me
elf.' the dismantled king thought to himself as he slipped in a video
into the VCR and turned the T.V. on revealing that really annoying blue
screen.
He looked over at Arwen, who was still gagged. Right in front
of her he had drawn a bunny (most people drew an "X" but Aragorn thought
that a bunny was cuter) to mark the spot where he thought Legolas would
stand.'
Above the "bunny" was a cage that would drop as soon as Aragorn
pulled a rope. "Cummon Legolas. Show me how much torcher you can go
through." Aragorn hissed as he watched as Legolas entered the hooters
and was beginning to walk over to where Arwen was trying to scream.
TBC
A/N: Ewww! Cliff hangery! What is Aragorn going to do with Legolas?
How will Elrond react when he finds his car? Find the answers to some of
the questions in the next chapter! The rest of them will come in chapter
after this! ;)
