Disclaimer: No characters belong to me.
Warning: Slash. Male on male intercourse.
Dedication: To my amazing boyfriend. Thank you. For everything.
Author's Note: This was just a little something I whipped up. A bit depressing, dark and sad. But I think it's a pretty little piece. I got the title from a Nightwish song that always makes me think of Severus and Remus. Enjoy!
Two For Tragedy
We were, to put it lightly, broken. Shattered. Our numbers are scattered, a handful of us dead, a handful of us lost among the wreckage, and the rets of us awaiting our fates in dank cells. I suppose I should have expected something of this nature. I am not afraid, despite the fact that I know my death is near. I am a traitor, a turncoat. Voldemort will enjoy snuffing my life from me, he told me as much.
"I never really blamed you, you know."
I turn my head, eyes fixing on my rather morose companion. By some odd twist of fate I have found myself tossed in captivity with Remus Lupin.
"For what?" I find myself asking, not that I care much.
"Any of it. Hating me. Exposing me. This." He waves his hand, and I nod. In part, this is my fault. I was the closest spy to Voldemort, yet I had no idea what he had been planning. Black had cursed my name as they dragged him away. What became of him, I never found out.
"Ah." I'm not much in the mood for conversation. He appears to be. He is nervous. He paces, fidgets, sighs, and worries his lip.
"How long, do you think?"
"I've no idea. It's still dark, so not for a few hours yet." I shrug apologetically. I have no words of comfort for him. He *may* be able to survive this, on account of what he is. "He'll take you, if you offer yourself."
"Never." Remus shakes his head defiantly, and I shrug again.
"It is your choice." At least he has one.
"I don't want to die."
"None of us do, Lupin."
"But I don't want to turn, either." He sounds torn. It is a difficult position. He knows he has a chance, it is only the price that he worries.
"Honestly, we've lost. What you do now doesn't matter. If I were you, I would lay my life at Voldemort's feet and swear my soul to his cause."
"But you already did that."
The words are rather cutting, despite that I know he does not mean them in that manner. "But I changed my mind."
"You did."
We fall into a rather tense silence. I can tell there is more he wishes to say. He's staring at me, and I raise an eyebrow in question. We are at the point where noting is scared. Regardless of what he does, I am going to die. Whatever he says now won't come back to haunt him.
"Severus...?" He sounds cautious. He is treading on thin ice, or so he believes.
"Yes?"
"Would you...I was wondering....if you could do me a bit of a favor?" A favor? That has to be the most ridiculous thing anyone has ever said to me, considering the circumstances. I was the one who should be asking favors, not him.
"A favor? Lupin, I am going to die by sunset tomorrow! what in Merlin's name could I possibly do for you?"
"Make love to me?"
He says is softly, and quite sorrowful. I almost miss it, but it is more the look in his eyes then his words that affects me. He truly wishes this, though why I have no idea. I tilt my head, watching him. He has beautiful eyes. Gold, amber and tragic. He looks pained.
"Yes, it is within my ability to give you that." I nod, slowly. It is a simple thing, really, that he asks of me. And it would not be bad, to taste the pleasures of the flesh once more before my life ends. I suppose I can even convince myself I love him, at least for a few moments.
"Come here." I hold my arms open to him, and he throws himself into my embrace. I hold him tightly, my hands stroking his hair and his back. He is surprisingly light. I capture his lips in a kiss, feeling his desire and need in the motion of his lips against mine. He is frantic as he clutches at my back, his tongue passing the barriers of my mouth.
"Gods Lupin, they aren't going to haul us away within the next five minutes!" I draw back slightly. "This is my last brush with carnality, I would like it to be something worthwhile. We aren't adolescents in an empty classroom. Get a hold of yourself!"
"Sorry." He mumbles, his cheeks tinging with rouge.
"No matter. Here." I kiss him again, slowly and sensually. His lips move against mine, and our tongues dance in a lazy, erotic pattern. I hold him against me, taking solace in his body and his lust. I slowly peel his garments from him, lips trailing over his body as each bit of flesh is uncovered. He bears many scars, but as do I. We have lived lives of pain and desperation, both of us.
"I wish things could have been different." He tells me as I lay him on the floor, moonlight filtering through the small window to dapple his skin with silver. He looks younger then his years, and older at the same time. Eyes of a child, soul of the ages.
"Perhaps in the next life, hmm?" I grace him with a rare smile, covering his body with my own. It is cold, and the stone is rough under my bare knees. Would that I had a blanket to lay beneath him, but we must make do with what we have on hand.
"If there is one." Remus sounds rather bitter, and I silence him with a kiss. His lips are surprisingly soft. His hands are ghostly soft on my back, whispers of butterflies and feathers. It is amazingly tender, as I slip easily inside of him. He arches to meet me, moaning softly against my neck. I take him with deep, slow strokes, an almost lazy air settling over out love making. I close my eyes, ignoring the scents and sights around us. We are not two doomed prisoners, rather lovers taking advantage of a cool spring night.
He whispers my name as we reach our peak together. I lay against him, still within him, my head lying on his chest. His heart is a steady drumbeat beneath my cheek.
"I am sorry I can not do more." I tell him, his hands seeking mine to tangle our fingers together.
"It was enough."
What is there to say? What more can pass between us? I could give him words of love yes, but they would be lies. I am not going to lie to him on the eve of my own death.
"Would you ever have taken me as your lover? If things had turned out differently?"
"I don't know." I give him honesty. It's all I have for him, now. "Perhaps."
"You never knew did you?"
"That you loved me?" I settle more comfortably over him. "I had my suspicions."
"At least now you know."
"Yes." It's a cold comfort. I can do nothing with his admission. I can simply take it to my grave. But it gives some warmth to this cold place and time.
"Someone's coming."
His hearing is far mor acute then mine. I rise, reluctant, and pull my robes on. He does the same. We have no desire to be found sprawled together devoid of clothing. He looks anxious, his hands grasped together tightly, turning his knuckles white.
There is fumbling at the door. And cursing. I catch his eye, and tilt my head in questioning. He shrugs, keeping silent. The door slowly opens, and our curious eyes fall on none other then the disastrous duo themselves. Potter and Weasley.
"Thank god!" Potter exclaims, wiping back sweat sodden hair. "We've been at this for two hours, and half of the cells are empty!"
I refrain from commenting that they were full two days ago. Now is not the time for that. Remus leaps to his feat, ecstatic. It seems we are rescued.
"I am assuming this is a rescue mission?"
"Well, obviously." Weasley shakes his head. "Now come on...those guards we knocked out aren't going to stay down all night."
Well. Saved by two bumbling teenagers. It's rather embarrassing, really. Though not as embarrassing as what would have happened had Lupin not realized someone was coming. That would have been a painful experience indeed.
"It seems you've gotten your wish." I say, grabbing his arm to bring his ear close to my lips.
"Hmm?" He turns, politely confused.
"You wished things were different. Now they are." I release him, and Potter hisses at us to hurry up again.
"I still want to check a few more cells...Ron, you get them out of here."
"Are you sure?" Always the valiant, Weasley.
"Yes, now go!"
It takes us little time to slip out and into the cool night. It seems we are gathering our forces once more. Quite a few have been retrieved, those that weren't killed. Black is not among them. He is either dead, or still awaiting rescue. This upsets Remus, and he comes to me for comfort. We are fed, and allowed to bathe, and given pallets to rest upon. They have taken up residence in a complex of caves.
"What now?" Lupin turns to me, propping himself up on his hand.
"I don't know." He scoots close to me, tucking his body close to mine. "We wait, I suppose."
"For what?"
"I don't know. Just be quiet Lupin, we've had a long night." I kiss him to silence him. He lays against me, closing his eyes. Sleep will come easily to him, he is exhausted. I on the other hand find it eludes me. This is not where I saw myself earlier. I cannot honestly say I would have taken Lupin to my bed, had I known I would survive. But I had, and now it seems he has become comfortable with me. But I cannot give him an answer. We are still at war, at least marginally. We still may die. But for now, I will allow him a spot by my side.
Gods know what the future holds.
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