Author's note : Gosh. Here, this is for u guys. A brand new fic. Not a
sequel to anything. Just a Carby fic. Erm. If u're wondering if I just
write Carby, I tell u, the answer is pretty much yes. Though I think that
um. ever since Carter dumped Susan or she dumped him (I think they just
broke up, nobody dumped anybody) . Susan has been pretty lonely. WRITERS!!!
She needs a new romance!!!!
And I was just surfing the net. (I don't like this phrase much coz I really don't see why it's surfing when there's no sea. but whateva.) And I finally saw the chat with Maura Tierney that 'Carbygirl05' had mentioned. Gosh, it's interesting ;-)
And those who are looking for 'There's more that meets the eye' I'm sorry but I accidentally deleted that. It's not a bad thing, coz I really don't know how to continue that fic. Anyway, here goes my new story.
Clarification: Abby's pregnant with Carter's child ( Ppo who read 'Don't leave me b-hind' can assume that it's THAT baby, but it doesn't really matter.)
Disclaimer: I don't think I own anyone in ER. Does the baby count?
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +
1. What's wrong?
Abby's POV
I walked into the lounge, thankful that my shifted had finally ended. There had been a regular flow of patients, as if half of Chicago had decided to do something stupid and try to get their butts into the ER. And it doesn't help that Weaver is being a bitch as usual, barking out orders to us as if we're all her slaves. Another perfectly normal ER day.
Out of habit, I started to brew myself a cup of coffee, before remembering the effect of caffeine on a developing fetus. I groaned in frustration before turning off the machine and bumping my leg into the table.
The door opened and Carter walked in with Susan, his normally tidy hair all messed up by the hectic day. The moment he saw me, the grin that he was wearing wore off.
"Hey." I said softly, acknowledging him. He didn't say anything at me, just stared at me in a way that I didn't understand. The eyes that I once found sincere and honest seemed to have closed up. Is this the Carter I know? The Carter whom I had once loved? I couldn't be sure. I closed my eyes to blink back the tears that were threatening to fall. What went wrong with us Carter? Silent questions rang through my head, as loud as bullet shots.
Susan looked around nervously, shifting her gaze back and forth at us. Oh god, the woman is terribly uncomfortable. Who wouldn't? Still I said nothing. "Um ......" Susan said, breaking the heavy silence. " I guess I should go. I'll see you later. " She started to walk to the door.
"No, I'll go." Carter's voice was cold and distant. He turned his back to me and walked out of the door, banging it shut behind him. A dull aching had started in my heart, I miss him. A lot.
"I'll leave you alone." Susan said, still staring at me. "Call me later if you want to talk, I'm outta here. "
I raised my hand in a vain attempt to wave goodbye to her. Then, I slumped dejectedly onto the couch, trying to recall what it was that tore apart our relationship.
____________________________________________________________________________ _ __________________________________________________________________ * Flashback*
It was a depressing day in the ER. All the patients that I treated are either still critical or already pronounced dead. Amongst all was a 5 year old girl. She had been brought into the ER only suspecting a fever, but it's funny how life plays all these cruel jokes on you.
"Abby." Without even glancing at the person who was talking,I knew who it was. I continued to watch as my breath made little puffs of white smoke in the cold Chicago night.
"Carter." I greeted him.
"Tough day?"
"What?"
He pointed at the bottle in my hand. God, I had forgotten all about it. It is no use hiding it now, so I will just have to play along. "You're drinking ." He says, trying to mask his anger but didn't quite succeed. Typical of him.
"I 'm not." A simple answer won't do. I know I'm just stalling for time but I don't want to deal with Carter on my case right now. I 'm tired, and I don't need any more TV drama in my life. I've had enough.
"Abby, you're not fooling anyone." He snatched the half drunk bottle out of my hand and throws it into the bin.
"I 'm not trying to."
"Did you go to your AA meetings?"
"Yes." I'm lying through my teeth.
"You're lying." Of course I am.
"Why do you care?"
"Why do I care? Abby, you're my wife, and you're asking me why do I care?"
"Yes."
"I don't want anything to happen to you or the baby. You're my all, Abby. I don't want to see you hurt. Please quit drinking, please. Do it for my sake."
"It's none of your business." I said coldly. There, I just socked him in the face. He was being so sweet and sensitive, and being a good wife, all I did was to hurt him even more. I had already done enough damage for one day.
He stood there, shocked, opening and closing his mouth, mouthing silent words. Then as if he decided to give up on me, he turned and began to walk back into the hospital, without so much of a farewell. "We'll talk later." He managed to say. I watched as he walked further and further away, slowly disappearing into the harsh lights of the hospital entrance. What's wrong with me?
"I'm sorry Carter." I said softly. There was nothing else to say. He was there when I nearly lost my life, helping me to get through all difficulties, and is about to raise a child together with me, and all I could say was it's 'none of his business'? I'm just surprised that he hadn't walked away from me earlier. I stared at the bare trees, silently praying that everything would be alright.
My life would not be worth living without Carter.
*End flashback * ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------
Promises are never fulfilled. Carter had said we're going to talk about it later, except that we had barely exchanged more than three words from then except from 'hey's or 'bye's. Sometimes, I have a sudden urge to confront to him about my drinking, but then the moment passed and I ignored him again, pretending that everything was okay.
Abby, I told myself, just go and talk to him. You have to sometime later anyway, so why not get over with it? It wasn't as if I don't want to, or not having the courage to do so. I'm afraid of the rejection. The disgusted look that I'm positive Carter would give me. I would rather to shield myself from the truth then hurting myself even more.
I don't even know id we're mad at each other. Maybe. I guess we sort of drifted apart. There wasn't really a fight between us, so we had not ended on bad terms. Ended. Is our relationship truly dead? I don't know. Life's a mess. Once I had thought that everything's going to be okay, but it wasn't, and turns out to be even worse than before.
I walked over to my locker and pulled out my coat, getting ready to go home. The home that Carter and I shared. Not that he'd be there anyway; he is never here for me nowadays. It was as if he had already left me; as if he had thought that there was nothing more he could do to help me.
The crisp January air cooled my mind. A strange calmness took over me. All the questions in my mind seemed to have disappeared. There was only one thing in my head. A sentence is shouting itself over and over again. A phrase that, no matter what happens will still remain the same in my heart.
I love you Carter. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++++++
That's the first chapter.. or the last chapter, depending on what you guys think. PLZ R & R. That is completely necessary. If it sucked, tell me. If it's great, tell me too. But PLZ DON"T FLAME ME. Or sue me just coz this is a carby. If you want some new romances like you want me to pair Susan up with someone, tell me. ;-)
And I was just surfing the net. (I don't like this phrase much coz I really don't see why it's surfing when there's no sea. but whateva.) And I finally saw the chat with Maura Tierney that 'Carbygirl05' had mentioned. Gosh, it's interesting ;-)
And those who are looking for 'There's more that meets the eye' I'm sorry but I accidentally deleted that. It's not a bad thing, coz I really don't know how to continue that fic. Anyway, here goes my new story.
Clarification: Abby's pregnant with Carter's child ( Ppo who read 'Don't leave me b-hind' can assume that it's THAT baby, but it doesn't really matter.)
Disclaimer: I don't think I own anyone in ER. Does the baby count?
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +
1. What's wrong?
Abby's POV
I walked into the lounge, thankful that my shifted had finally ended. There had been a regular flow of patients, as if half of Chicago had decided to do something stupid and try to get their butts into the ER. And it doesn't help that Weaver is being a bitch as usual, barking out orders to us as if we're all her slaves. Another perfectly normal ER day.
Out of habit, I started to brew myself a cup of coffee, before remembering the effect of caffeine on a developing fetus. I groaned in frustration before turning off the machine and bumping my leg into the table.
The door opened and Carter walked in with Susan, his normally tidy hair all messed up by the hectic day. The moment he saw me, the grin that he was wearing wore off.
"Hey." I said softly, acknowledging him. He didn't say anything at me, just stared at me in a way that I didn't understand. The eyes that I once found sincere and honest seemed to have closed up. Is this the Carter I know? The Carter whom I had once loved? I couldn't be sure. I closed my eyes to blink back the tears that were threatening to fall. What went wrong with us Carter? Silent questions rang through my head, as loud as bullet shots.
Susan looked around nervously, shifting her gaze back and forth at us. Oh god, the woman is terribly uncomfortable. Who wouldn't? Still I said nothing. "Um ......" Susan said, breaking the heavy silence. " I guess I should go. I'll see you later. " She started to walk to the door.
"No, I'll go." Carter's voice was cold and distant. He turned his back to me and walked out of the door, banging it shut behind him. A dull aching had started in my heart, I miss him. A lot.
"I'll leave you alone." Susan said, still staring at me. "Call me later if you want to talk, I'm outta here. "
I raised my hand in a vain attempt to wave goodbye to her. Then, I slumped dejectedly onto the couch, trying to recall what it was that tore apart our relationship.
____________________________________________________________________________ _ __________________________________________________________________ * Flashback*
It was a depressing day in the ER. All the patients that I treated are either still critical or already pronounced dead. Amongst all was a 5 year old girl. She had been brought into the ER only suspecting a fever, but it's funny how life plays all these cruel jokes on you.
"Abby." Without even glancing at the person who was talking,I knew who it was. I continued to watch as my breath made little puffs of white smoke in the cold Chicago night.
"Carter." I greeted him.
"Tough day?"
"What?"
He pointed at the bottle in my hand. God, I had forgotten all about it. It is no use hiding it now, so I will just have to play along. "You're drinking ." He says, trying to mask his anger but didn't quite succeed. Typical of him.
"I 'm not." A simple answer won't do. I know I'm just stalling for time but I don't want to deal with Carter on my case right now. I 'm tired, and I don't need any more TV drama in my life. I've had enough.
"Abby, you're not fooling anyone." He snatched the half drunk bottle out of my hand and throws it into the bin.
"I 'm not trying to."
"Did you go to your AA meetings?"
"Yes." I'm lying through my teeth.
"You're lying." Of course I am.
"Why do you care?"
"Why do I care? Abby, you're my wife, and you're asking me why do I care?"
"Yes."
"I don't want anything to happen to you or the baby. You're my all, Abby. I don't want to see you hurt. Please quit drinking, please. Do it for my sake."
"It's none of your business." I said coldly. There, I just socked him in the face. He was being so sweet and sensitive, and being a good wife, all I did was to hurt him even more. I had already done enough damage for one day.
He stood there, shocked, opening and closing his mouth, mouthing silent words. Then as if he decided to give up on me, he turned and began to walk back into the hospital, without so much of a farewell. "We'll talk later." He managed to say. I watched as he walked further and further away, slowly disappearing into the harsh lights of the hospital entrance. What's wrong with me?
"I'm sorry Carter." I said softly. There was nothing else to say. He was there when I nearly lost my life, helping me to get through all difficulties, and is about to raise a child together with me, and all I could say was it's 'none of his business'? I'm just surprised that he hadn't walked away from me earlier. I stared at the bare trees, silently praying that everything would be alright.
My life would not be worth living without Carter.
*End flashback * ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------
Promises are never fulfilled. Carter had said we're going to talk about it later, except that we had barely exchanged more than three words from then except from 'hey's or 'bye's. Sometimes, I have a sudden urge to confront to him about my drinking, but then the moment passed and I ignored him again, pretending that everything was okay.
Abby, I told myself, just go and talk to him. You have to sometime later anyway, so why not get over with it? It wasn't as if I don't want to, or not having the courage to do so. I'm afraid of the rejection. The disgusted look that I'm positive Carter would give me. I would rather to shield myself from the truth then hurting myself even more.
I don't even know id we're mad at each other. Maybe. I guess we sort of drifted apart. There wasn't really a fight between us, so we had not ended on bad terms. Ended. Is our relationship truly dead? I don't know. Life's a mess. Once I had thought that everything's going to be okay, but it wasn't, and turns out to be even worse than before.
I walked over to my locker and pulled out my coat, getting ready to go home. The home that Carter and I shared. Not that he'd be there anyway; he is never here for me nowadays. It was as if he had already left me; as if he had thought that there was nothing more he could do to help me.
The crisp January air cooled my mind. A strange calmness took over me. All the questions in my mind seemed to have disappeared. There was only one thing in my head. A sentence is shouting itself over and over again. A phrase that, no matter what happens will still remain the same in my heart.
I love you Carter. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++++++
That's the first chapter.. or the last chapter, depending on what you guys think. PLZ R & R. That is completely necessary. If it sucked, tell me. If it's great, tell me too. But PLZ DON"T FLAME ME. Or sue me just coz this is a carby. If you want some new romances like you want me to pair Susan up with someone, tell me. ;-)