A/N: Omigod. I've gone completely nuts about CARBY!! They totally rock my
world! I was so scared that they night break up before 'the advocate' was
shown on nbc and then yay! Turns out they're not breaking up after all =)
Uh. pardon me for sounding like a maniac, though I probably am a maniac.
Don't underestimate the power of CARBY!!! lol.
This is written in third person coz the story's getting complicated. so I'm very sorry if there is any inconvenience caused.
And also, I included a little of Lusan in this story. actually, I find lusan quite an interesting idea! Coz u know, in my mind, Abby, Carter, Susan, and Luka are the four main characters of the show. and now that carter & Abby are together, then Luka and Susan should be too!
Ah yes, before I forget, I included Brian in this chapter. You know, Brian, the guy who beat Abby up? He was long forgotten and I decided to bring him back =) Anyway, enough of this crap, let's get to the story!
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone in ER. And I don't own the song 'air supply' by goodbye either. which is really old, by the way.
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4. Love, hope and faith
Carter
The door closed, shutting him out of her life. He had never felt this horrible his whole life. He knew it was all entirely his fault, and he shouldn't blame anyone but himself, but he found himself mad at Abby. He was angry that she hadn't given him the chance to explain, furious that she had given up on them so easily. But most of all, he was annoyed at himself. He was fuming at himself for doing such a stupid thing, hooking up with a woman that he didn't even like, let alone love. Abby had loved him and trusted him with all her heart, but he had let her down. It had taken a long time for the intimacy to build up between them, but he, John Truman Carter the third, had made the lethal blow and wrecked their relationship by an impulsive and thoughtless act.
I can see the pain living in your eyes
And I know how hard you try
You deserve to have so much more
I can feel your heart and I sympathize
And I'll never criticize all you've ever meant to my life
He shoved his hand into his pocket and felt something cold and hard cut across his skin. The keys. He had completely forgotten that he still held the keys to Abby's apartment. He rushed up the stairs, his arms outstretched, ready to put the key in the lock, to open the door to life. But he couldn't do it. He simply couldn't bear to look at Abby's hurt expression and her sad questioning eyes again. He had wounded her, and had scarred her permanently He just can't face her. He loved her too much.
I don't want to let you down; I don't want to lead you on
I don't want to hold you back, from where you might belong
You never asked me why, my heart is so disguised
I can't live a lie anymore. I would rather hurt myself,
Than ever make you cry.
There's nothing left to say but goodbye.
The doormat was lifted up, and the keys were dropped onto the floor, gleaming from the overhead lights before disappearing beneath the doormat. Carter inhaled deeply, taking in the sweet aroma of her apartment, of her herself, a sweet and wonderful smell. He looked up and stared at the door for a moment, picturing Abby's face. her smile that he may never see again.
"I'm sorry Abby, I really am."
The words disappeared into the night together with his footsteps. Then, the night settled and somehow erased all the traces of what might have happened before.
You deserve the chance at the kind of love
I'm not sure I'm worthy of
Losing you is painful to me
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------
Susan
"Hey, Susan!" someone called her from behind, a voice with a somewhat desperate edge. She whipped around to face whoever called her, nearly knocking over a tray of urine samples. "Whoa." She gazed forward and saw Luka signaling to her.
"What?" she called to him.
"Get over here." Susan pushed through the sea of people that seemed to be flooding the halls. What is it that Luka wanted to talk about? It wasn't as if they had a lot in common.
"What is it?" She asked when she finally got by his side, slightly out of breath.
Luka cleared his throat, visibly uncomfortable. She waited for him to talk. Patience was a thing that she had achieved long ago. It was the art that a good doctor should process.
"Uh." he paused, not knowing how to continue. "Um." He tried again. "Have. have you seen Abby around?" Ah, Abby. Susan should have guessed it before Luka even opened his mouth. Abby somehow got all the men of the ER trapped under her fingers. One day, Susan is going to ask Abby how she does it.
"No. Haven't seen her today." Susan had noticed that Carter was missing also, but she wouldn't tell that to Luka. She got a vague idea of where those two are and what they're doing, although she would prefer not to think about it. If she even so much as think about it, her guilty conscience will prevent her from working the for whole day.
"Oh." Luka stepped back and cleared his throat again. He was never much of a talker, Susan observed. He had skillfully shut himself into his own world. A world that is mysterious to the majority of us.
"So I guess I'll go." She offered.
"Right. OK."
Susan started to walk towards the desk, eyeing the crowd in front of her with annoyance. What are all these people doing in the ER?
"Susan!" Luka called out to her. She turned around to face him, not quite hiding her irritation.
"Yeah?" There was just a hint of impatience in her voice.
"I was just wondering.you know. maybe you and I should grab some coffee sometime?" Luka looked at her, his eyes portraying deep emotions that he felt inside.
Susan smiled at him. Was he asking her out? Rebound guys weren't usually her type but she couldn't deny that there's something special about this man. There was some secret deep inside him that she long to know. He was full of passion, so clear and completely honest and trustworthy. So unlike the other men out there.
"Sure." She found herself saying. "Anytime." Maybe this can help her get mind off her other two friends. She's completely sick of their complicated relationship. She needed to take a break from it all.
"When are you off?"
"What?" she asked, not quite paying attention to him.
"You know, coffee?"
"Oh yes." She closed her eyes. "My shift ends at seven though I'm completely washed out now. I think I'll end my shift early today. You?"
"I'm off now."
Susan smiled. "Good.so then I guess we can go now."
Luka smiled too, a rare facial expression of his. "Yeah."
Maybe this may turn out to be more than a cup of coffee, she found herself hoping. Well, you just never know what might happen. As they always say, dream big.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------
Brian
He observed the Chicago skyline with certain aversion in his eyes. He didn't know why he had come back. He had just felt that there was something that he had left undone. Something that he knew he could figure out in Chicago and in no place else. He had already lost all faith in finding Joyce, knowing that even if he found her, she'd probably run away from him, or be separated from him. He would rather not go through all the pain again. Had he came to Chicago hoping that he would bump into her on the streets? He didn't know for sure.
He got of the El and walked aimlessly around the city, not noticing where exactly was he going. There was no point to know. Chicago was no different from anywhere else. there were just houses, schools, stores, and all the cars and buses and people rushing by. What's so special about it that worth him looking at?
Suddenly, his footsteps ceased and he found himself facing his (Their) old apartment building. The place where everything had gone wrong. The place that he had grown to despise.
Something inside him clicked and all of a sudden, he knew what he was doing in Chicago. There was on thing that he started to do but had never finished. Now, he was here again, ready to complete his job. He was here to get back his life, to do something that he should have done long ago. He wanted to kill that bitch that wrecked his life. His life would be perfect if not for her nosiness. God, he hated her to his guts.
Memories cam rushing back to him and he only saw red. Everywhere was anger. He growled angrily. It was a low, menacing and inhuman call from somewhere deep inside him. She destroyed his life and now, it was time for him to destroy hers. It was only fair.
Her door stood in front of him, the only barrier to keep him away from her. But Brian didn't care, he could easily breakdown that door. He was the strong one here. It was time for her to know who is the boss.
A glimpse of silver caught his eye. His hateful gaze shifted from the door to the floor. A single key poked out from underneath the doormat. He silently congratulated himself for finding it. Actually, he was more like congratulating the moron that left the key lying there. If he had any doubt about killing Abby before, then by now, all the doubts were gone. It was as if all the forces of the world were on his side, as if he was destined to kill her. It was destiny.
Silently, he slipped the key in its place, hesitating for a brief moment before turning the lock. The door opened to reveal a confined room, a perfect place for a murder. Now for the victim.
There she was, collapsed on the floor, her newly colored blonde locks framing her face. Her cheeks were still wet with invisible tears that nobody was supposed to see and her chest was rising and falling with every breath she took. Seeing her lying there, a defenseless yet unbelievably beautiful woman before his eyes almost made him turn away from her, almost made him feel guilty. Almost.
Soon, that chest of hers will be still and he'll get his life back. He walked into the kitchen and pulled out a long, sharp knife from the counter. Dangerous knifes, he marveled, running a finger down the side of the blade. A thin trickle of blood flowed down his finger.
It's time for his sweet revenge.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++++++++++++
Okay, I need to apologize for the long time I took to update this story. And also, I need to apologize for such a short chapter.
Thank you for all that reviewed (which isn't many, by the way). but I would really really appreciate if you could just leave a review. Your review means a whole lot to me (Do I sound like those government candidates "Please vote for me. You vote means a lot to me and to the united states of America. blah blah) REALLY!! PLz PLZ PLZ Review, I don't care if it's an anonymous review or a signed one. just REVIEW!!!
Special thanks must be given to these people who had ALWAYS reviewed my story (s)
SpookyAnne --- You ROCK!! Omigod seriously. You totally rock my world. I can't believe you stuck with my stories all the way through! Thank you SO much girl, and I hope that u enjoyed the fluff?? =)
CARBYfan--- Haha. I kinda left the baby out this chapter! Well hope you liked it! Thx for sticking by my side!! And just to be fair, you rock too. really, I need some new vocabulary.
And Becky.though I dunno where she is but nvm. She rock too!
Also Thank you to Mealz --- for actually replying my emails and stuff. I had a great time talking to u! =) Thank you for reviewing.
And to carby luva 313 --- Thx for replying my emails also!! I had a great time talking to u too! When will ur story be updated? Hehe. Thank you SOOO much.
As always, REVIEW and feel free to email me when ever you like. I think I'll most probably reply u. =)
Peace out,
~*jESS*~
This is written in third person coz the story's getting complicated. so I'm very sorry if there is any inconvenience caused.
And also, I included a little of Lusan in this story. actually, I find lusan quite an interesting idea! Coz u know, in my mind, Abby, Carter, Susan, and Luka are the four main characters of the show. and now that carter & Abby are together, then Luka and Susan should be too!
Ah yes, before I forget, I included Brian in this chapter. You know, Brian, the guy who beat Abby up? He was long forgotten and I decided to bring him back =) Anyway, enough of this crap, let's get to the story!
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone in ER. And I don't own the song 'air supply' by goodbye either. which is really old, by the way.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++++++++++++
4. Love, hope and faith
Carter
The door closed, shutting him out of her life. He had never felt this horrible his whole life. He knew it was all entirely his fault, and he shouldn't blame anyone but himself, but he found himself mad at Abby. He was angry that she hadn't given him the chance to explain, furious that she had given up on them so easily. But most of all, he was annoyed at himself. He was fuming at himself for doing such a stupid thing, hooking up with a woman that he didn't even like, let alone love. Abby had loved him and trusted him with all her heart, but he had let her down. It had taken a long time for the intimacy to build up between them, but he, John Truman Carter the third, had made the lethal blow and wrecked their relationship by an impulsive and thoughtless act.
I can see the pain living in your eyes
And I know how hard you try
You deserve to have so much more
I can feel your heart and I sympathize
And I'll never criticize all you've ever meant to my life
He shoved his hand into his pocket and felt something cold and hard cut across his skin. The keys. He had completely forgotten that he still held the keys to Abby's apartment. He rushed up the stairs, his arms outstretched, ready to put the key in the lock, to open the door to life. But he couldn't do it. He simply couldn't bear to look at Abby's hurt expression and her sad questioning eyes again. He had wounded her, and had scarred her permanently He just can't face her. He loved her too much.
I don't want to let you down; I don't want to lead you on
I don't want to hold you back, from where you might belong
You never asked me why, my heart is so disguised
I can't live a lie anymore. I would rather hurt myself,
Than ever make you cry.
There's nothing left to say but goodbye.
The doormat was lifted up, and the keys were dropped onto the floor, gleaming from the overhead lights before disappearing beneath the doormat. Carter inhaled deeply, taking in the sweet aroma of her apartment, of her herself, a sweet and wonderful smell. He looked up and stared at the door for a moment, picturing Abby's face. her smile that he may never see again.
"I'm sorry Abby, I really am."
The words disappeared into the night together with his footsteps. Then, the night settled and somehow erased all the traces of what might have happened before.
You deserve the chance at the kind of love
I'm not sure I'm worthy of
Losing you is painful to me
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------
Susan
"Hey, Susan!" someone called her from behind, a voice with a somewhat desperate edge. She whipped around to face whoever called her, nearly knocking over a tray of urine samples. "Whoa." She gazed forward and saw Luka signaling to her.
"What?" she called to him.
"Get over here." Susan pushed through the sea of people that seemed to be flooding the halls. What is it that Luka wanted to talk about? It wasn't as if they had a lot in common.
"What is it?" She asked when she finally got by his side, slightly out of breath.
Luka cleared his throat, visibly uncomfortable. She waited for him to talk. Patience was a thing that she had achieved long ago. It was the art that a good doctor should process.
"Uh." he paused, not knowing how to continue. "Um." He tried again. "Have. have you seen Abby around?" Ah, Abby. Susan should have guessed it before Luka even opened his mouth. Abby somehow got all the men of the ER trapped under her fingers. One day, Susan is going to ask Abby how she does it.
"No. Haven't seen her today." Susan had noticed that Carter was missing also, but she wouldn't tell that to Luka. She got a vague idea of where those two are and what they're doing, although she would prefer not to think about it. If she even so much as think about it, her guilty conscience will prevent her from working the for whole day.
"Oh." Luka stepped back and cleared his throat again. He was never much of a talker, Susan observed. He had skillfully shut himself into his own world. A world that is mysterious to the majority of us.
"So I guess I'll go." She offered.
"Right. OK."
Susan started to walk towards the desk, eyeing the crowd in front of her with annoyance. What are all these people doing in the ER?
"Susan!" Luka called out to her. She turned around to face him, not quite hiding her irritation.
"Yeah?" There was just a hint of impatience in her voice.
"I was just wondering.you know. maybe you and I should grab some coffee sometime?" Luka looked at her, his eyes portraying deep emotions that he felt inside.
Susan smiled at him. Was he asking her out? Rebound guys weren't usually her type but she couldn't deny that there's something special about this man. There was some secret deep inside him that she long to know. He was full of passion, so clear and completely honest and trustworthy. So unlike the other men out there.
"Sure." She found herself saying. "Anytime." Maybe this can help her get mind off her other two friends. She's completely sick of their complicated relationship. She needed to take a break from it all.
"When are you off?"
"What?" she asked, not quite paying attention to him.
"You know, coffee?"
"Oh yes." She closed her eyes. "My shift ends at seven though I'm completely washed out now. I think I'll end my shift early today. You?"
"I'm off now."
Susan smiled. "Good.so then I guess we can go now."
Luka smiled too, a rare facial expression of his. "Yeah."
Maybe this may turn out to be more than a cup of coffee, she found herself hoping. Well, you just never know what might happen. As they always say, dream big.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------
Brian
He observed the Chicago skyline with certain aversion in his eyes. He didn't know why he had come back. He had just felt that there was something that he had left undone. Something that he knew he could figure out in Chicago and in no place else. He had already lost all faith in finding Joyce, knowing that even if he found her, she'd probably run away from him, or be separated from him. He would rather not go through all the pain again. Had he came to Chicago hoping that he would bump into her on the streets? He didn't know for sure.
He got of the El and walked aimlessly around the city, not noticing where exactly was he going. There was no point to know. Chicago was no different from anywhere else. there were just houses, schools, stores, and all the cars and buses and people rushing by. What's so special about it that worth him looking at?
Suddenly, his footsteps ceased and he found himself facing his (Their) old apartment building. The place where everything had gone wrong. The place that he had grown to despise.
Something inside him clicked and all of a sudden, he knew what he was doing in Chicago. There was on thing that he started to do but had never finished. Now, he was here again, ready to complete his job. He was here to get back his life, to do something that he should have done long ago. He wanted to kill that bitch that wrecked his life. His life would be perfect if not for her nosiness. God, he hated her to his guts.
Memories cam rushing back to him and he only saw red. Everywhere was anger. He growled angrily. It was a low, menacing and inhuman call from somewhere deep inside him. She destroyed his life and now, it was time for him to destroy hers. It was only fair.
Her door stood in front of him, the only barrier to keep him away from her. But Brian didn't care, he could easily breakdown that door. He was the strong one here. It was time for her to know who is the boss.
A glimpse of silver caught his eye. His hateful gaze shifted from the door to the floor. A single key poked out from underneath the doormat. He silently congratulated himself for finding it. Actually, he was more like congratulating the moron that left the key lying there. If he had any doubt about killing Abby before, then by now, all the doubts were gone. It was as if all the forces of the world were on his side, as if he was destined to kill her. It was destiny.
Silently, he slipped the key in its place, hesitating for a brief moment before turning the lock. The door opened to reveal a confined room, a perfect place for a murder. Now for the victim.
There she was, collapsed on the floor, her newly colored blonde locks framing her face. Her cheeks were still wet with invisible tears that nobody was supposed to see and her chest was rising and falling with every breath she took. Seeing her lying there, a defenseless yet unbelievably beautiful woman before his eyes almost made him turn away from her, almost made him feel guilty. Almost.
Soon, that chest of hers will be still and he'll get his life back. He walked into the kitchen and pulled out a long, sharp knife from the counter. Dangerous knifes, he marveled, running a finger down the side of the blade. A thin trickle of blood flowed down his finger.
It's time for his sweet revenge.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++++++++++++
Okay, I need to apologize for the long time I took to update this story. And also, I need to apologize for such a short chapter.
Thank you for all that reviewed (which isn't many, by the way). but I would really really appreciate if you could just leave a review. Your review means a whole lot to me (Do I sound like those government candidates "Please vote for me. You vote means a lot to me and to the united states of America. blah blah) REALLY!! PLz PLZ PLZ Review, I don't care if it's an anonymous review or a signed one. just REVIEW!!!
Special thanks must be given to these people who had ALWAYS reviewed my story (s)
SpookyAnne --- You ROCK!! Omigod seriously. You totally rock my world. I can't believe you stuck with my stories all the way through! Thank you SO much girl, and I hope that u enjoyed the fluff?? =)
CARBYfan--- Haha. I kinda left the baby out this chapter! Well hope you liked it! Thx for sticking by my side!! And just to be fair, you rock too. really, I need some new vocabulary.
And Becky.though I dunno where she is but nvm. She rock too!
Also Thank you to Mealz --- for actually replying my emails and stuff. I had a great time talking to u! =) Thank you for reviewing.
And to carby luva 313 --- Thx for replying my emails also!! I had a great time talking to u too! When will ur story be updated? Hehe. Thank you SOOO much.
As always, REVIEW and feel free to email me when ever you like. I think I'll most probably reply u. =)
Peace out,
~*jESS*~