In a room so dark and quite even the most acute sense of sight would be rendered useless. Quatra was again holding Heero his lover, the one who holds the key to his heart in his arms. "Heero I love you." He said softly hoping for a favorable response. "I lo.I'm tired, I'm going to sleep." Heero's response not quit what Quatra had hoped for sighed and he decided to follow his lover into the dream world. "Why can't I tell him I love him?" Heero thought, "It's not that I don't, I would give everything I am for him. So why can't I." Heero spent the entire night questioning himself. However he would not show or share his feelings of remorse with anyone, not even the one he loved most for this was forbidden of the perfect soldier. Quatra awoke the next morning only to find his lover had already left his side. He glanced over the room he had seen so many times before. It wasn't that big a room really only about 8 by 10 feet with the bed pushed up against the wall with a night stand right next to it. And heavy blinds to keep peeping Relina out of their "business". Quatra forced himself out of bed and walked in a half sleep daze down the hall to the bathroom. He walked into the plain bathroom and stared at himself blankly just to be sure it was he how was staring back at him. He striped himself of his clothing then stepped into the shower. Not hesitating to turn it on bombarding himself with ice-cold shards of water. Not bothering turning the tempter up he just stood there embracing the cold as the water formed rivers that cascaded down his soft skin. Almost erotic the tingle he got from the water. "I wonder what time Trowa would prefer me to be there?" Quatra hurried the rest of his shower as not to be late for his meeting with Trowa. After he was finished he put own Heero's green tang top and a pair of black jeans. He was walking out when he noticed the TV was on and there was a news bulletin on Heero's last mission "Last week there was a horrible attack that only a monster could have committed," Quatra quickly turned of the television "You wouldn't understand" he mumbled in spite. He finally left the apartment he knew thou there would be a conversation at Trowa's he was not looking forward to. "Heero rejected your love again didn't he, Quatra?" Trowa said the moment Quatra walked in the door, "Why do you stay with someone who will never return your love?" Quatra was quiet for a moment then responded "I know he loves me, he just can't say it." Quatra's eyes went out of focus for a moment. "You had another nightmare didn't you?" Trowa said it in a way that made it sound like it was his pain and not quatra's. "Is it that obvious? This time my wings were stained red, and then 'he' pulled my heart out." Quatra looked around the throw pillow filled floor. "If heero doesn't fix this soon I want you to seriously consider leaving him. He's not worth the pain he causes." Quatra objectively nods his head and turns on the TV to some sob opera. Dou and Heero were at Wufei's Chinese style home out in the woods. "So how yaw been He-chan!" Dou said with his usual optimism. "What did I tell you about calling me that." Heero responded, "at any rate I'm at optimum profincey" Heero continued with his flat monotone. "That's not what I meant and you know it." Heero raised an eye braw at the comment "You know what I mean HTLL" Heero Made a blush so faint and quick that anyone but a gundam pilot would have missed it. "I and Quatra's love life is none of your concern, Dou." "Aw you're not gonna give me any of the juicy details?" Dou replied with a smirk. Wufie walked into the room soak n' wet wearing only a white towel. "Wow looking good Wu- man!" "Do you mutilate everyone's name?" Wufie said looking over at Heero. "Nope just the hottest people I know" both Heero and Wufei made the same almost impossible to notice blush at Dou's so obvious flirty comment, and less than a moment later Heero was typing away on his lab top. "Our mission is to search three different base's. I will take the one in the city district, Wufie will take the one in the woods at area 5-Z, and Duo will take the beachfront base. Wufei, your mission will involve speed, and duo's will involve stealth it is up to you to analyze your sectors security. That is all for the briefing." Dou and Wufei start to leave the room, "Dou, you come with me." Wufei looked back only for a moment before leaving the room. Trowa continued even after an hour of Quatra's mind numbing sop opera, to stare into those sapphire eyes that memorize him with their stunning beauty. "Quatra why not come with me, I love you more than Heero could." Quatra just stares into trowa's eyes staring back at him. There is a long moment of silence before Trowa works up the courage to speak again "Heero will not declare devotion to you, or anything for that matter except to 'Him' and his missions." "Your wrong Heero will say he loves me tonight I!" Quatra's voice trail's then finally he whispers "I know he will." With that said quatra leaves the room. "So what's on you mind, hmm?" Dou said very seductively when they step into Heero's convertible. "I don't trust you not to fail your mission" Heero remarked, "I meant to have Trowa go but he had an unexpected mission arrive and Quatra." "You didn't want your bonbon to get dirty?" Heero was interrupted by Dou's judgmental comment. "Quatra had a important rendezvous so I was forced to chose you." "Tch can we continue this when we get to my place" Dou said while turning to a Rock station and blaring it. "Come on in" Heero follows Dou into the apartment "Dou points to a door on the left "That's the bed room, that's were I have sex, I think it has some other use but I can't remember what." Dou said slyly. "That's highly improbable." Dou starts to feel a little excited this being the first time he got Heero even this close to making a joke. Then the two sit on the coach in the center of the room "As you know your base has two entrances were you won't be caught the." Dou puts his hand on Heero's "The ventilation system and the window on the third floor bath room I suggest the." Dou put his hand on Heero's stomach and on his shoulder and gently pushes him to his back on the couch "I love you Heero." With this said Dou begins to kiss Heero, but Heero shoves Dou right of him, "I'm sick of that irksome declaration of devotion. Your gundam pilots you should free yourselves from such petty emotions and dedicate yourselves completely to the mission at hand. Your almost as bad as that damned stalker bitch Relina." Dou blasts out a fit of laughter "I can't believe your comparing me to Relina! I was just mesin' with ya anyway." Dou said with a smirk. Dou tries to mimic Relina "Oh, Heero I wasn't spying on you. I was just in the neighborhood, and you have such a pretty tree I couldn't help myself but to climb it. I just happened to see you and Quatra having sex, you know it's a sin to be gay right?" Dou begins to laugh again. Heero remembers that imbursement and begins to doubt that Dou's that bad. "You better be as competent as claim to be because I'm calculating your success into my plans. Heero Arrives home to find Quatra has filled the House with white roses and candles. Quatra walked out in white boxers and a white tang top, "I was expecting you sooner, Heero." Quatra spoke with a grin, "You know it's not nice to keep someone so anxious to see you waiting." Heero was not responding to this game quatra was trying to play. Heero, especially after dealing with Dou, was not one to play games. So he simply walked over and started kissing quatra's neck. However even amidst this pleasure Quatra managed to mutter words between his moans "Heero. pant, pant.I, I can't uhhhh. Until you, pant moan, tell me you.uhhh tell me you love me." For a moment Heero just stared at him. Then he walked up Quatra; lifted off his shirt and started kissing his chest. Quatra only for a moment forgets what he told Heero then pushes Heero away now furious at Heero's refusal to fulfill his request yells "Answer me!" Heero eye's blank out and quatra now more scared than angry walks up to Heero and places his hands on his chest and says softly "You do love me, don't you, Heero?" tears start to well up in his eyes. Heero stoically states "No I don't, good bye, Quatra." With that said he quietly leaves without any of his things. Once the door is shut Quatra fell to his knees and broke into tears and said, "No I shouldn't have pushed him." Outside the door Heero say's " He'll be better off without me all I do as a perfect soldier is bring pain."