Disclaimer: Me don't own Zelda. Me just a regular girl that lives in the street with a broken couch.

Mwahaha! Chapter 3!!! Be terrified!!! I am very scary!!! I need to sneeze, hold on... ha... ha... HACHOOOOOOOOO!!!!! (AHEM) I feel better!! Last time, Nicole and her friends were in Hyrule after going through a WEIRD portal!!! Read to find out what this is about!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!! I'M EVIL, EVIL (and crazy) I TELL YOOOOOOUUU!!

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Chapter 3: Yay! New weapons!! The fairy has NO clothes!

Everybody gave Link a grin. "Sure!"

They all headed for Death Mountain, passed the guard, ahh, you know the whole thing, the dancing, the bracelets, until they finally got to Dodongo's Cavern's entrance. Everyone sighed at the narrator. Then they stared at the huge boulder in the way.

"Wow, cool. A huge boulder!" said Nicole.

Link put a hand to his chin. "I wonder how to open it... hmm..."

"I WILL USE MY PHYSICAL INHUMAN POWER!"

Hayarpi blinked. "But you don't have physical inhuman power."

Nicole grinned insanely and turned around. "Really?! WATCH THIS!" She tried lifting the boulder, but with absolutely NO success at all. "COME ON, YOU STUPID ROCK!"

Everyone except Nicole sighed. "O.o;;; It's not a rock..." Gilbert muttered.

Ten minutes later...

"Sorry, can't do it!" Nicole said, falling to the floor.

Navi rolled her eyes. "Obviously."

"SHADDAP, YOU PIXIE!" yelled Nicole from the ground.

Navi gasped, offended. "I am //not// a pixie! Tinkerbell is a pixie and I refuse to be compared to that fairy player!!"

Suddenly, Tinkerbell herself flew in from somewhere. "HOW DARE YOU!" she screeched, leaping onto the blue fairy, immediately starting a fist fight.

"TAKE THIS! (pow!)"

"GAH! EAT MY FIST! (smack!)"

"Go Navi!" cheered Link.

Navi threw Tinkerbell to the dirt and flitted in front of her. "HA! I beat you! Now go back to your boyfriend, Pete, or whatever his name is!"

Tinkerbell's lips quivered, then she suddenly burst out sobbing, flying off.

Nicole blinked. "Woah... anyway," she pulled out Mr. Sharp Teeth, facing Navi. "I swear, if you don't stop making comments about me, I'LL STUFF YOU IN HIS MOUTH!"

"Umm, I can beat Tinkerbell, but I can't beat that..." Navi said, backing away.

Hayarpi tapped Navi on her small head. "You do know she's kidding, right?"

"She is?"

"Oh yeah." Her voice went down to a whisper. "She's semi-insane. And she can do anything with that dog..."

Nicole suddenly leapt up. "MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Huh?! WHAT IS THAT?! THE CUTE LITTLE WORM WANTS TO SEE ME FOR TEA?! OK! I'M COMING SWEETHEART!" she went down the mountain screaming, "The worm wants me for tea, THE WORM WANTS ME FOR TEA YOU FREAKIN' PEOPLE!"

Everyone that was on the mountain and in Kakariko Village stared at her in horror. "O.o;;;?"

"Are you sure she's //semi//-insane?" mumbled Navi.

"Yeah." Hayarpi replied flatly. "One minute she's retarded, the next, she's deathly serious."

"She has mood swings, then."

"Oh yeah. That too."

Then, Nicole came back running calmly towards them. "So what are we waiting for? Let's get in this dungeon already!"

Everyone fell over, got up, and started thinking of a way to remove the boulder from the entrance to Dodongo's Cavern.

"I got it!" Link suddenly yelled, raising his index finger.

"Got what? Got milk?" asked Gilbert.

Link sweatdropped. "Uhh, no, but I found out how to blow up the boulder! Stay here, I'll be right back."

Ines stopped him. "Wait! I'll go with you!"

"Ok, fine."

The two went up the mountain, near the entrance to Goron City. Link, with a little help from Ines, picked up the bombflower and threw it over the edge. It landed right in front of the boulder and blew it to Kingdom Come.

Link grinned and looked over the edge. "Yay! We blew it up!"

Everyone went in and proceeded through the dungeon until they reached the place where they get got the bomb bag.

Nicole grinned at everyone. "Hey, there are six chests with each of our names on top of it!"

"COOL! LET'S OPEN THEM!" Everybody yelled.

Link opened his chest and picked up a bag. "Hey, I got a bomb bag! Cool!"

Nicole opened her chest and her brown-black eyes widened. "OH MY GOD! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! THIS IS SO TOTALLY COOL!" She's holding a sword with a purple-black handle, diamonds on the lower part of the blade, and it was almost 4 feet long.

"WOAH! WHAT A FREAKIN' HUGE SWORD!" shouted everyone.

"It's almost as big as you!" Brian said.

"Not really. I'm a little over 5 feet."

"Ah whatever."

Hayarpi fiddled with the opening of her chest. "We'll probably get the same thing since the rest of us don't have a weapon."

She was right. Hayarpi, Brian, and Gilbert also got swords. Hayarpi's had a jet black handle with red gems. Brian's sword had a brown handle with blue gems and Gilbert's had a silver handle with purple gems. They were all 3 1/2 feet in length. Ines got a blade that was 2 inches taller than Hayarpi, Brian and Gilbert's swords. It had a white handle and aquamarine gems. It still wasn't as tall as Nicole's, though.

"HAHA! MY SWORD IS TALLER THAN YOURS! MWAHAHAHAHA!" yelled Nicole.

Ines rolled her eyes. "That's only because you're taller."

"Aww, crap! Stop ruining my moments of glory..."

"Heehee."

"There's only one problem." piped up Link.

"... And?"

"Shields."

Nicole snapped her fingers. "Aww, crap again!"

"Hey, you know what? The sword that Link has, the Kokiri sword, is a dagger compared to our swords." said Brian, grinning widely.

Link blinked, looked at his sword, and then at everyone else's, silently comparing. He glared. "-.-"

Navi snickered. "Ehehehe..."

So anyway, they went through the whole dungeon, beating up monsters. They finally got to the room that they were supposed to fall through the hole in to get to the boss.

Link slapped his forehead. "Oh no..."

Brian looked at him. "What is it?"

"I'm out of bombs..."

"Then what will we use to beat "King" Dodongo?" said Ines.

Hayarpi looked around and spotted a bomb flower. "Hey, we could use bomb flowers!"

"Oh yeah huh, I forgot!" Link said, sweatdropping. Then, they all jumped into the hole and faced off King Dodongo. Moments later, they beat the boss and got the Goron Ruby from Darunia.

Nicole danced around. "WOO HOO! WE GOT THE GORON RUBY! OR THE SPIRITUAL STONE OF FIRE! YEAH! IT'S OUR BIRTHDAY! IT'S OUR BIRTHDAY!"

Navi blinked. "What?"

Ines shook her head. "You won't understand."

Link tucked the Goron Ruby safely in his dimensional bag. "Ok then, now we need one more spiritual stone. Uhh, do you know where to get it?"

"Zora's Domain, where else?!" said Nicole.

"How do you know?"

"I told you, I have powers, MYSTICAL powers!"

"Yeah right..." Brian mumbled under his breath. Nicole smacked Brian on the head with the side of her sword. "OWWW! THAT HURT!"

"You didn't think that I'd hear you, huh?! SERVES YOU RIGHT! MWAHAHA!"

Navi raised an eyebrow at them and then said, "Umm, you should see the Great Fairy on top of the mountain, now."

Link blinked. "There's a Great Fairy?"

"Yeah, duh!"

Everyone started to climb the mountain when huge chunks of rock begin falling from the sky.

"AHHHHH! VOLCANIC ERUPTION!" Everybody screamed.

"I know what to do!" said Nicole, glancing at everyone. "Just keep on running and avoid the rocks!"

Navi grinned. "Wow, she was actually thinking for once!" Nicole responded with a glare. They did this all the way until they got to the wall that they had to climb.

Hayarpi looked up at the wall to see Skulltulas. (spl?) "Eww! Spiders! NASTY!"

Link fished in his dimensional pocket and took out the Fairy Slingshot. "Dontchoo worry about it! I'll kill them!" He aimed at it and killed them all. Three dead skulltulas fell to the floor and disappeared.

"GOOD JOB STINKY CHEESE MAN!" Nicole yelled, patting his head.

Link backed away from her reach, fixing his emerald hat. "I'll take that as a compliment."

They got to the top and entered the Great Fairy's fountain, house, den, whatever it was. Link stood on the Triforce insignia on the floor and played Zelda's Lullaby. Just then, the Great Fairy flew up from the pool of water and did a weird laughing thingy, putting a hand right below her chin.

"AAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAA! Welcome, Link and the others, to my Fairy Fountain! Heehee!"

"That sounds fun!" Nicole said. She did the weird laughing thingy too, along with the hand-thing. "AAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Everyone stared at her blankly. "O.o;;?"

The Great Fairy looked at them all, extending her arms in a gesture to greet/help them. But she... revealed... something a little... more... o.O;; "Let me heal you, Heroes and Heroines!"

Nicole's eyes widened. "Cover your eyes!" She covered Link's, Hayarpi covered Brian's and Ines covered Gilbert's. The girls clenched their eyes close. "PLEASE, OH GREAT FAIRY, PUT ON SOME CLOTHES!" the girls requested.

There was a slight pause before the fairy responded with a cheery, "OK!" She went down and came back up wearing a long gown with gold bordering. "Better?"

All the girls peeked one eye open. "Yes! Thank you!" They finally let go of the boys' eyes, in which they looked around conf00zled.

The Great Fairy ahemed. "Anyway, I will give all of you magic power. Use it wisely!" A green light surrounded them all, improving their stamina and giving them magic. "I will go now. I have a friend near Hyrule Castle. Visit her sometime."

"Does she--" Nicole started, but the Great Fairy interrupted her.

"Not another word. I will tell her to wear clothes when you come. Goodbye!"

Nicole nodded in approvement.

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HELLO MOMMA!! THAT'S THE END FOR CHAPTER 3!!! Sorry, I know it's kind of short, but most of you know what happened!! Anyway, next is chapter 4: "The smelly Zora princess! Nicole is serious!!" MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!

- LilFilipinoGurl