I, for once, have nothing to say.
Niagra: Oooh, mysteriousenesses.
Link: Can I go home now?
No one asked you to come anyway.
Link: Never mind. I WANT TO STAY!!
Fine, you can.
Niagra: Where will he be sleeping?
I don't know, the couch?
Link: But, why the couch?
Look, you came her without saying and if you wanna stay, YOU HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH!
Niagra: How about your parents?
They don't care.
Link: Fine.
There's a bit of Link-bashing, so sorry for all the Link fans. :D;;;
Link: ;.;
Niagra: Ha ha.
Ok, let's just continue with the story.
------
Chapter 12: LINK-BASHING!! MWAHAHAHA!!
The Fire Temple...
"Alright, so what do we do first?" Hayarpi asked. Everyone else just shrugged in response. She sweatdropped and continued walking.
Nicole began singing. "In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lions sleep, toniiiiight!"
"We're not in the jungle," Brian pointed out. "It's like the complete opposite of one..."
She ignored him and kept going. "In the jungle, umm... blah blah!"
Link just sighed, looking around.
"Aweeee! Aboombawambaweeeeehhh! Eh, Pumba?"
(LFG: Ahahaha!) (L: Why are you laughing?) (LFG: I can just imagine her doing that. (bursts out laughing) AHAHA!) (N/L: o.O)
Everyone stared.
Brian blinked. "Who's Pumba?"
Hayarpi tilted her head. "Remember the Lion King movie where Pumba and Timon were singing right before the lioness attacks them?"
"Oh yeah..."
"I don't know what you're talking about," Link mumbled.
"You never do."
"... Yeah that's true."
"It's an earth thing."
"... Oh."
Nicole laughed, then sighed and stopped. "Haha... ok, I'm bored again."
"Why don't we go into the room where Darunia was before?" suggested Navi. "Nothing else is open. And we might find some Gorons."
Link nodded. "Yeah, good idea."
They all entered the room where Darunia was. Navi instructed them to go left, so they all hopped over the columns and reached the northwest corner of the room. In a cage, there was a Goron. They opened the lock for him, but he still curled up and shook like there was no tomorrow.
"No... please don't eat me... I'm a rock! I taste bad," it sobbed.
Hayarpi sweatdropped. "We're not going to eat you!"
"How can we possibly do that?" Brian asked.
Link poked him. "Yeah, you're like a rock."
"I can eat him!" Nicole said, gnawing on his back.
"O.o"
Hayarpi twitched. "Ewwww..."
Navi poked Nicole. "Do you know where that has been?!"
"I'm right here you know," the Goron grumbled.
But that caused Nicole to look up. "Hmpfh? EWWW! Nastynesses!" she started spitting at the lava.
The Goron uncurled himself. "Yes! I'm freeeeee!" he giggled as he skipped off.
Behind him, Link had just opened the chest, taking out a key. He sighed. "Oh joy. Another key. Let's play twister to celebrate."
And Nicole took it literally. "OK!" she took out a twister box (where does she store these things?) and set it up on the ground. "Let's play Twiiiiiisteeer!"
Everyone cheered.
Fifteen minutes later, everyone was all tangled up on the "Twister" pad. Navi was working the big turning thing that told people where to place their body parts. "Alright, Link!" she said. "Left foot, blue!"
Link looked around. "Ok, lemme see..." he tried lifting his foot but everyone screamed as Link fell on them all, and then...
"RRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPP!" the SFX Guy said. Everyone stared at him. He blinked and then ran off.
Nicole, who was under everybody, looked down. "Aww... you ripped the pad!"
Link sweatdropped as he got off. "Sorry..."
"It's ok! I have five more at home!"
"o.O"
Hayarpi laughed. "At least she has extras."
"How did we start playing twister anyways?" Navi asked, throwing the turning thing over her shoulder. ("NOO!" Nicole screamed and dove for it.)
"I found a key, and we played to celebrate." Link nodded.
"Oh."
-
Meanwhile, with Ines, Saria and Gilbert...
Ines had sat herself by Gilbert's side, and was watching him carefully. She looked to Saria, who was laying out some herbs a few feet away. "Is he going to be ok?"
Saria turned, inspecting Gilbert a little more. "Yeah, I just need to go out and get some other ingredients for the potion."
"Ok. I'll watch over him. Go!"
The green-haired girl nodded, putting a ladle aside and running off. Gilbert continued to sleep, but moved a bit as he sweat a little from his fever, which was getting higher.
Ines bit her lip, putting her hands together. "Please let Gilbert be ok... please..."
-
With Link and the others...
"HOLY CRAP!"
Holy crap was right! Nicole screamed like a banshee as she saw a boulder coming from around the corner, narrowly dodging it. Both Brian and Hayarpi screamed as they dodged another one.
Link was standing around aimlessly. Nicole pointed. "LINK! BEHIND YOU!"
"Huh..." he turned. "AHH--" he got hit and was knocked to the ground.
Brian sweatdropped. "Why is he always the one who gets hit-- especially by a boulder?"
Nicole shrugged but knelt down. "Hey, you ok?"
"X.x"
"LINK?! ARE YOU OK?!"
"Yeah... my back is sore though..."
Nicole breathed a sigh of relief. "Whew, you scared me!"
Navi flittered over. "Can you walk?"
Link nodded. "I think." He stood up. "Yeah, I can."
"These narrow paths are dangerous." Brian said.
Hayarpi sighed. "Nah, you think?!"
"Why must you always nag me!?"
Navi, Nicole, and Link exchanged glances. Hayarpi 'hmph'-ed and looked away. "Like a married couple," Nicole cackled quietly.
Brian sighed. "We already freed three gorons, so..." he looked up a ledge. "How do we get that one?"
Everybody was silent for a bit before Link gasped. "Oh, I got an idea! You guys stay here." He ran off. Nicole, Brian, Hayarpi and Navi didn't listen to him though as they ran off and went to stand safely on a ledge above the boulders. They watched as Link hookshot up a ledge and then jump from top to top until he got to the cage.
"Thanks, Link!" the Goron said as he ran off.
Link jumped down his ledge but screamed as he was hit by a boulder. Nicole sweatdropped as she watched from another ledge. "Ooh, that's gotta hurt..."
The blond kept walking, but then screamed as a boulder appeared when he turned a corner. "NOOO!" he got hit and was knocked to the floor.
Hayarpi winced from beside Nicole. "That one too..."
Link rubbed his head. "Freakin' boulder maze..." he squeaked as another hit him. "GAH! Mommy..."
(LFG: MWAHAHA!! LINK-BASHING!!) (L: ;.;) (N: (snicker!))
Navi laughed sheepishly. "Ouch."
Then Link cackled as he dodged a different boulder. "HAHA! YOU DIDN'T HIT ME!"
(L: Yeah!)
He looked behind him, seeing another inches away. "CRA--" he got hit, then sat on the floor and started whining.
Brian sighed. "Ouchies."
(L: ;.;) (LFG/N: Ehehehe...)
After being hit by different boulders twenty or more times, Link finally made it back to the ledge where the others are.
(L: 20 TIMES?!) (LFG: Yeah, so?) (L: ;.;)
Link panted as he climbed up the ledge. Everyone looked at him; all over the blond were bruises, scratches, cuts and many other things that resulted from being cursed by boulders. "I think..." he managed as he flopped on the ground. "I broke my back."
"GOOD FOR YOU!" Nicole giggled. "And not possible; if you had broke your back then the nerves connecting to your spine would have been severed and you wouldn't be able to move at all!"
'Where did that burst of knowledge come from?' Everyone except Nicole wondered.
Link shook his head and just sighed. "You have no pity for the worthless..."
"HAHA!" Navi laughed. "You're worthless!"
"No, I'm not!"
Brian raised an eyebrow. "But you just said it right now."
"... Crud."
-
With the three other people...
Saria came running in. "I got it!"
"WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?!" Ines snapped. Saria stared. "... Sorry. Ok, I got a bowl. Here, put it all in there."
Nodding, Saria went over and took the herbs and the ladle from before. Along with a red potion and other healing things, she dumped it all in the bowl and began to mash it all together.
Fifteen minutes later, it was all a slightly thick liquid, kind of like milk except a soft red color. "Ok, it's a liquid," Saria poured some of it in a bottle and handed it to Ines.
Ines took it. "Should I pour this into Gilbert's mouth?"
Saria looked around. "Mmmmaybe... mmmmmmmaybe not."
"... (sigh)" Ines turned and shook Gilbert slightly. "Hey. Hey, Gilbert, wake up."
Said boy began to stir. "Wha?"
"Here, drink this."
"Ok." he reached over and absentmindedly drank it. A few seconds later... Gilbert blinked, looking at Ines. "Hmm, I feel much better. COOL!" he hopped off the stump and did five flips.
Ines stared, mouth open. "WOW!" she turned to the Kokiri. "What was in that potion, Saria?"
"I'll never tell anyone my secret formula! MWAHAHAHA!" then she ran off.
Ines and Gilbert stared. "Okaaaay, that was disturbing."
"How do we get back to the Fire Temple?" asked Gilbert, looking around. "We don't have instruments... should we walk all the way there again?"
Ines shook her head. "I think that you should rest more. I'm kinda sleepy too."
"Alright, fine."
-
With the others...
Link pointed, screaming, "WHAT IS THAT?!"
Navi eyed his rather over-active panic. "Uh, that's a flame dancer. Aim your hookshot at it's core, and then strike with your sword!"
"Finally, useful information!"
Navi whacked Link on the head. The flame dancer cackled, but without much vigor. "Mwahahaha." It started coming out of the fire.
"Ok!" Nicole said, taking out her hookshot. "It's nearest to me! DIE, FLAME DANCER, DIE! AND DON'T STEAL MY LAUGH!" she hookshot at it's core and it screamed as it was pulled to her. "MWAHAHAHA! DIE!" she began slashing insanely with her sword.
Everyone stared, but then snapped out of their daze as the flame dancer sprouted legs and started running.
Nicole waved her arms insanely. "Brian! Get it!"
Brian nodded, unsheathing his sword. "YA!" he slashed the core, and it squeaked in pain and then ran the other direction. "Link! It's coming for you!"
Link slashed at it too. "SKIKE! HA! YAH!" Slash, slash, slash.
"That reminds me, why do you say 'skike'?" Nicole snickered. "It sounds weird." Link shrugged in response.
Hayarpi slashed it as well. "Die. Stupid core thingy."
Nicole smacked her. "Oh, come on! PUT MORE ENTHUSIASM INTO IT!"
"Ok. DIE, YOU FREAKIN' STUPID (BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP)! DIIIIIEEEE!" Hayarpi began going psycho on it, swinging madly.
Everyone stared again. "o.O;;;;"
"... You didn't have to swear." Nicole murmured. She looked around for the rabid language-watching writeress. (LFG: xD)
Hayarpi shrugged. "Oh well."
The FD jumped back into the fire and came back out, flame lit once again. "Mwahahaha."
Nicole sighed. "You guys are all so dead today! And YOU! Stop stealing my laugh! And if you're gonna, put more effort into it! Like this: MWAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Link sweatdropped. "Okay, stop with the evil laughs. They're getting creepy."
"Alright. :)"
"... What was that for?"
"Hmm... nothing. :)"
Brian hookshot at the core. "Die." ("Not you too," Nicole sobbed.) He slashed at it two more times before it finally died. "I was right!" Everyone noticed the fire on top of the block had faded away.
"Perfect! Let's get on top of it," Nicole said.
Link looked at it. "It might be a trick!"
"No it isn't. Just shut up and listen to me."
"... ;.;"
Nicole sweatdropped. "I mean, sorry!" she hugged him. He sniffed. Brian and Hayarpi sweatdropped too.
Climbing onto the block, the five were elevated to the fifth floor. They got off and kept walking until they arrived at a room with a huge hole in the middle.
"Ok, warning, don't fall down," Nicole laughed sheepishly as she peered down it.
Navi looked around. "I think this is the room where the Megaton Hammer is..."
Link nodded, also looking. "Yeah. There are six chests up there... and they're surrounded by a wall of fire... crud."
Hayarpi tilted her head. "Hmm, this looked easier in the game."
He eyed her. "This isn't a game, it's real."
Brian, Hayarpi and Nicole exchanged looks.
"I got an idea!" Brian said. "Why don't Hayarpi stand on the switch so you guys won't have to rush to get up there?"
Nicole gasped. "Good idea, Ruto-hating one!"
"Yay, I gots me a new nickname!"
So, they did just that! Hayarpi stood on the switch and Brian, Nicole and Link carefully made their way up the circular, thin staircase. Brian and Nicole had managed to get ahead of Link, and they were continuing until they heard a familiar scream behind them.
"AHHH!" came Link's voice.
Nicole gasped, turning around and looking down the hole. "NOOOO!" But nobody was falling or anything. "..."
Brian tapped her shoulder. Nicole looked at him, and he pointed at the opposite side, where a boulder smacked into Link. "OUCH! NOT AGAIN!"
Blinking, Nicole sighed in relief. "Oh, I thought he fell down the hole..."
Link grumbled as he got hit again. "I swear..."
Just then, the time limit of the switch had ended. Brian looked around. "That's okay, Hayarpi is still on the switch--"
But from the beginning of the staircase came Hayarpi's high-pitched. "AAIIIIEEEE!" she yelped as she got thrown aside. "Ouch..."
Nicole turned at the scream, then started running back carefully. "Whoa, are you ok?"
Hayarpi rubbed her head. "Yeah, I don't know how I got thrown to the side..."
"It must be the switch," Brian said while walking over. "It's strong!"
Nicole nodded. "Yeah, I thought that they were easy to hold down..."
"I think only the blue switches are easy to hold down," Navi informed.
The three earthlings looked at the fairy. "Navi?" Nicole mumbled. "What happened to Link?"
Meanwhile Link was being thrown back and forth in between two boulders. "AH! OUCH! OW! MOM-! -MY! HELP! PLEEEEASE!" Everyone laughed. "IT'S! NOT! FUN-! -NY!" Link screeched. "OW!"
"Umm.. ehehe, I think we should help him," suggested Nicole.
Going over, the three pulled Link from the two boulders and Link sobbed, putting a hand on his back. He sniffed. "Ooouuuch..."
"Aww... poor Link..." Nicole sweatdropped.
Navi gave a sigh. "Ok, I'll heal him--"
"No!" objected Brian.
"W-whaddya mean, 'no'?!" Link snapped. "M-my body h-h-hurts!"
"It's not that, I have an extra fairy. See?" he pulled out a bottle and opened it. The pink fairy flew around Link, healing him.
Link jumped up. "I feel better! Yay!" then he stupidly fell over again and into the boulder hall, getting hit again. "Ahhhh! OW, OUCHIE OWIE!" he climbed out and started crying again. "WAHH!"
Hayarpi sweatdropped. "Link, don't be such a crybaby! You're the "Hero of Time", for Farore's sake!"
"B-but, it hurts!"
"It's gonna hurt more when you face Ganondork," Nicole reminded.
Then from God knows where came Ganondorf's voice. "IT'S GANONDORF, STUPID! Why do I face such abuse!?"
Everyone looked at each other. "As I was saying," Nicole continued. "Yeah, it's going to hurt more when Ganondorf hits you."
Link whimpered at the thought.
Navi sighed. "I got partnered up with a crybaby. Greeeat, just peachy."
Peach popped up out of nowhere. "Grr." she smacked Navi.
"Leave me alone, you freakin' idiot!"
"WAAAAAAA! MARIO! SHE MADE FUN OF ME! WAAA!" she ran off crying.
"How do these people get in here?" Brian grumbled.
-
Meanwhile, with them, you know who!
Ines slept soundly. "Zzzzzzz..."
And so did Gilbert. "Zzzz..."
Ok, they're both sleeping while the other five work their butts off? ... Oh well...
-
"So, how do we get the hammer?" Nicole asked as soon as Peach went away.
"Do what you did in the game," Brian sighed.
Link exploded. Was this the third time he had to say this? "This is NOT a game! THIS IS REAL!"
Hayarpi pat his head. "Ok, calm down, blondie."
"Grrrrr..."
"Ok, idea," started Nicole. "I'll stand on the switch, and you guys get a head start. I'll catch up and help open the treasures, ok? GOT IT, CHEESY HEADS?!"
Everyone else nodded, saluting. "YES MA'AM!"
"NOW, EVERYONE GET INTO POSITION! MOOOVE OUT!"
(LFG: Military style!) (N: Yeah!) (L: What's a military?)
Everyone did what Nicole said to do, and although Link got hit by the boulders a little more, they successfully got the six hammers! They cheered. "Yay!"
Nicole nodded in approval. "GOOD JOB, TROOPS! NOW, GET A GOOD NIGHT'S REST!"
"Huh?"
"I SAID-- oops, sorry. I went into military mode."
"Ooooh."
Link put his hammer away in his pocket. "Cool. Now, where do we go?"
"This time, we'll let YOU figure it out." Hayarpi nodded.
Navi blinked. "But, why?"
"Because we've been telling you what to do for too long, and you might get used to it," explained Brian.
Link and Navi exchanged glances and then sighed. The blond looked around. "Ok, first I think that we should go here..."
And so, Link led the group of five all over the temple for around two hours. They pounded a column that they found, which made a bridge to the boss's room. But that's all they did, really.
"Ok," Link mumbled as he looked at the temple map. He was holding it upside down. "Um. I think you go here--"
Nicole sighed. "Link, you've been saying "I think" for about an hour--"
"Two hours." Brian corrected.
"Whatever. And nothing is happening."
"We pounded that column," Link tried to defend.
"So? Why don't I just tell you where to go?"
"No, I want to find out!"
Everyone except Link made annoyed sighs.
Link rolled his eyes, handing the map to her. "Ok, ok, fine. Lead the way, Nicole."
"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" she threw the map behind her and raced off to the entrance.
"Okay, I guess I should follow the leader, huh guys?" Link looked around. "Guys?" But no one responded cuz no one was there cuz everyone else had already left to follow Nicole!
"... WAIT FOR ME!"
-
At the entrance...
Navi stared as Link finally appeared. "What took you so long?"
He came to a stop in front of them, panting as he bent over with his hands on his knees. "I.. (pant) was right (pant) behind you (pant) (pant) (wheeze)"
"Uh huh. Here, Link," Nicole gestured at some blocks. "Smash those with your Megaton Hammer and we'll find a door."
Link did what she said and revealed a door! Together they entered the next few rooms and finally arrived at yet another Flame Dancer. "Oh. Another one," Link murmured. After a few hits, it died.
"It was fun the first time, but they're getting boring," Nicole laughed.
"Anyway, let's go into the next rooms." Navi urged.
Eventually they found the boss key and after making sure all the Gorons were freed, they entered the boss room. Navi flittered about, wiping a few beads of new sweat from her foreheaed. "Wow, it's sooooo hot in here!"
Brian eyed her. "You're a fairy, how can you feel it?" She shrugged.
-
With Ines and Gilbert...
Gilbert gave a yawn as he sat up, fully awake. "Hmm... I feel much better."
Ines had woken up just a little before he did and was now stretching. "Yeah, me too. But, how can we get back to the crater?"
"I guess we'll have to wait..."
-
In the boss's room...
All four people were standing on the slab of land in the middle of the floating lava, Navi floating idly beside them. The moment they landed on the slab, the column that helped them jump from it to the door had sunk.
Hayarpi stared at the place where the column was. "... Ok, so we're stuck here."
"Hmm, then where's the boss?" Navi asked aloud. Brian and Hayarpi began to wander away to get a better look around.
Just then, there was a very violent shake, rumbling throughout the room. It affected the slab of land especially, and Nicole, who was standing nearest to the edge, was caught by surprise...
"AIIIEE!" came her scream. "HELP ME!" The other four turned just in time to see her slip, disappearing from view...
"NICOLE!"
-----
MWAHAHAHAHAHA!! CLIFFHANGER!! Is this a good cliffhanger? I hope it is. :) AM I LEAVING YOU ON THE EDGE OF YOUR SEATS?!? I hope so. xD;;; Anyway, I'm gonna leave it like this for a month...
Niagra: WHAT?!
Link: WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN TO NICOLE?!
Haha... even THEY don't know what's gonna happen!! I'm kidding, not a month. MWAHAHA!!
Link: I'm gonna strangle you if you don't tell me what happens...
AAAIIIEE!! (jumps out of seat and runs away)
Link: TELL MEEE!! (chases LilFilipinoGurl around the computer room)
HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!!! (trips)
Link: (tackles LilFilipinoGurl to the floor) TELL ME.
Ummm... if I tell you, will you leave?
Link: No way!! I'm staying in this house!
Then I won't tell you until you leave! xD
Link: (sigh) Fine. (lets her go) HURRY UP AND WRITE ANOTHER CHAPTER!!
SHUT UP, LINK! It's 10:00 pm, and I have school tomorrow. So, I'll continue the next time, ok?
Link: (sigh)
Here. (tosses Link 2 pillows and a blanket) Go sleep on the couch!
Link: (catches them) Fine. (grumbles and walks away)
Niagra: Cool! You go girl!
Ok, see you in the next chapter! Bye!
- LilFilipinoGurl, Niagra, (Link: (from the living room) DON'T FORGET ME!) and Link (Link: Thank you!)