Author's Notes: Guess who's back... Back again... Archer's back, back, back... Tell a friend... Archer's back, Archer's back...
Disclaimer: I didn't write Harry Potter...
I wish I could tell her what I feel about her. But I guess I'm a loser – a total loser at that. I'm a coward, too afraid to show my feelings, too scared to fight for what I believe in, too frightened to gamble... too cowardly to admit loss... I swore to myself never to let a loved one go again. I won't let that happen... to her...
I long to be able to look at her eyes and speak of my love for her. I want to be with her, especially when she's hurting. I wish I could be her man. And I guess hoping might be enough for a loser like me...
"Hey, Harry! Wait up!" Ron called after me.
"Mm..."
"Harry, I think you have a secret," Ron's words gave me the impression of a bucket of cold water falling on my head, "...it's not that I don't trust you. It's just that you've been acting so strangely these past few weeks."
"It's nothing," I mumbled, stopping in my tracks.
"Okay, then..." he shrugged and we started off.
"Ron! Harry!" I didn't look back, didn't smile or wave. I didn't slow down either.
Ron stopped walking and faced her, though. I left the lovebirds and strode as fast as I can. After three quick strides, though, I felt a cold hand tug my arm gently.
"Wait up, will you?" I pulled away and struggled to gain my composure.
"Just giving you lovers your privacy..." I muttered angrily.
She looked at me and said something I could not understand.
"You know what, Hermione? I think our good friend here's hiding something in there," Ron punched my chest playfully and purposefully at that. With not much choice, I blushed.
Hermione laughed, "Are you crazy? Harry gave up on Cho already. Right, Harry?" I nodded and silently wished that God would help me out of this torture chamber.
"Cho's not the only girl around here, ya know..." Ron said.
"But not one of 'em is Cho..." Hermione said while checking the time, "...got to go!"
"You're right, so many girls out there in the world but not one of them is you..." I muttered under my breath.
"Whaddaya say, Harry?" Ron inquired.
"Nothing... Nothing."
* * *
A cold nor'easter's been blowing for days now and everyone's gloomy. Winter's been slipping through and I realized how much time I spent thinking about her. She's been a really great friend and she's helped save my life for a number of times now. She's a perfect heroine... my angel...
Ron never stopped blabbering about my love life, much to my utter dismay. I wonder why he hasn't had any offer for a talk show. I stood my ground and kept my mouth shut knowing that the truth could hurt him as much as it could hurt me. I wonder why he doesn't feel Hermione's affection, though. (Mainly because I'm the one who feels it the most...)
"Harry, can I ask you a question?" Ron blurted out as we sat down to eat.
"Mm..." i nodded, bracing myself for the upcoming barrage of not-so-unpersonal questions.
"If you had a chance to have a sort-of-you-know... girl," he stammered, "...what would be her pet name... I mean, would you, like, call her, um, honey?" Maybe he needs a pet name for my angel.
"That's too..." I scanned m vocabulary for an appropriate adjective...
"Cheesy!" Hermione interjected.
"Ok... I see you two have an understanding about this..." Ron remarked, "...sweetie is too weird, right?"
"Mm..." I nodded as I shoved a spoonful of beans into my mouth.
"Hamburgers will be nice..." he blurted out.
"No way!" Hermione and I shot back. I had to bow to hide my blush.
"Okay, okay... apple pie?"
"No. Too yummy..."
"Baby?"
"No. Too common..."
"Angel?"
I paused, thinking it over. I didn't want him to use my chosen pet name.
"No! Too... perfect..." I gazed at my angel as I spoke, though, " I think I'd give my heart to the woman who's been risking her life for me, sort of..."
Ron looked at me and then at her.
"Some 'un like her?" He asked.
"I dunno..." I snapped back to reality, "...maybe."
I was shocked when she blushed.
* * *
I know it isn't fair. I know I should tell Ron... I know I'm not yet ready...
I held my diary close to me as I walked to the dump. I should throw it away.
"Harry!" I looked back and saw Ron but as I watched him running towards me, an accident happened...
Neville bumped into me – literally. The impact sent my diary flying in the opposite direction. I felt the cold wall as my head struck into it and my mind went blank.
* * *
"Hermione..." I called her name, begging for attention, pleading in a low voice...
"Hermione..." she turned to look for the owner of the gentle voice...
"Here... Look here... Hermione..." she looked at me. I smiled at her and my arms were wide open, welcoming her in a tight embrace...
She ran towards me, tears streaming down her cheeks...
I closed my eyes to kiss her when...
"Hey, Harry! Wake up man!" I blinked as my dream faded away and was replaced by the ceiling of the clinic.
"Uh... What happened?"
"You dreamed of her... Don't worry, your secret's safe with me..." He whispered and nodded to the opposite side of the bed.
I turned and saw my angel...
"I'll go tell Madame Pomfrey that you regained consciousness." She left the room in a flash.
"She's the one!" Ron exclaimed.
"What?!"
"You love her... You said so in your dream." He stated oh-so-knowingly.
"Oh shit!" I kicked the bedframe in defeat.
"Don't worry. I want to make things clear between the three of us. I liked her-past tense." He smiled and relief flooded through me. At least I won't be hurting my bestfriend for my own joy.
I sighed.
"So when will you tell her?"
"I dunno. Never?" I shrugged and combed my hair with my fingers, "she won't like me as a boyfriend." I winced as my own words hit me right between the eyes.
"There's only one way to find out... If you'll excuse me... I have to help my friends, ya know?" He ran off before I had the chance to protest.