Disclaimer: I own NOTHING! To add to the list of things I don't own, I don't own Card Captors. (And I'm glad for that!)

Part VII (REVISED)
My Title was REVISED because the last one SUCKED

"Oh Nabiki!" Kasumi said happily. "I'm so happy that you're going to divorce Ryoga!"
Nabiki growled at her sister, then remembered her elaborate scheme of pretending to divorce Ryoga so everyone would shut up about forcing her to divorce. "Oh, sure." Nabiki said.
"'Cause now I can marry Ryoga!" Kasumi said.
Nabiki twitched. "Say what now?"
"Ever since he saved me from the dwarves," Kasumi explained, "I've been madly in love with Ryoga, Dwarf Slayer!"
"He didn't kill them!" Nabiki protested. "He just shooed them into the magical land in my closet!"
"Aha. So now you do believe him about the magical land in your closet?" Kasumi asked with a wicked grin.
"What? Of course not!" Nabiki screeched. "It's just that I have been there and so I believe it may exist."
"So you do believe it exists." Kasumi smiled.
Nabiki closed her eyes and rubbed her head. "A migraine! You're giving me a migraine!"

Goku wandered the wilderness of ice and snow. Once again, lost. If only he knew that Ryoga Hibiki-whom by now Goku had, in his frustration, decided to kill-had left a trail of wood chips leading from the lamp post to Nabiki's door Goku might have gotten out. Remembering to use instant transmission might have helped too, but meh, what'cha gonna do?
He avoided a large wasteland area where this new army of dwarf thingy had set up a dominion, slowly expanding and conquering all of the magical land of the closet, crushing fauns, satyrs, tree spirits, other dwarves etc. The only thing they couldn't kill were the Centaurs because it was their breeding season and no one could get them to come out of the cheap motels.

"Okay sugar!" Ukyo cried. "Tell me now, what's up with you and Harry Potter?"
"I'll never tell!" Konatsu cried.
Ukyo waved a candle menacingly. "I'll melt it all over you!" She warned.
"Why do I think they've done this to each other before?" Ron asked.
"What's that spell Hermione uses to undo locks?" Harry asked.
"Wha-shu mean in the first book or the first movie-cause they were different."
"They were?" Harry cried.
"I dunno." Ron admitted. "I forgot the movie."
"But you were IN IT!" Harry cried.
"Just ask Potter why I hate him so much!" Konatsu cried.
"Shove off homo!" Harry cried.
"Harry, why does she-I mean he hate you so much?" Ron asked.
Harry brooded for a moment. "Okay! I'll admit it! When I first met Konatsu I thought he was a girl so I cast a spell on him to make him my love slave for five minutes, more than enough time. Then I sold him to Percy who's girlfriend didn't show up in the movie so he needed some . . . 'relief' but then he came back saying Konatsu was a guy, so I cast a spell to make Konatsu a girl."
"SON OF A-" Konatsu began.
"Oh my GAWD!" Ukyo cried. "Konatsu is a girl now? A real girl? Oh no! Now I have to marry Tsubasa!"
"What bout Ranma?" Konatsu asked.
"Hmm? Oh him! Yeah he just doesn't turn me on anymore."
"BEHOLD MY POWER!" Hermione cried.
"What is it now?" Konatsu cried.
"I, Hermione Granger have come to save my friends!"
"Oh no! It's the girl who can't pronounce her own name!" Ukyo cried.
"WHAT!" Hermione cried.
"It's true actually." Harry said. "In certain regions Hermione is pronounced Her-Me-Own and not Her-My-Nee. But she isn't from one of those regions, so she's pronouncing it right."
"What bloody region pronounces it Her-Me-Own?" Hermione demanded.
"Hey!" Konatsu cried. "Her me own! It's Shampoo talk for I own her!"
Suddenly Shampoo appeared out of nowhere. "Shampoo try very hard you know! Shampoo not appreciate girly-boy make slight of Shampoo's speech impediment!" Shampoo ran off crying.
"Now I feel bad . . ." Konatsu said.
"As well you should!" Ukyo cried. "Let's go make her feel better by having a girl on girl on girl threesome!"
"Yay!" Konatsu cried. The two ran off after Shampoo. "This is the sort of thing I'd never have been able to do as a boy! Thank you Potter!"
"Yay!" Harry cried. "Hermione came to save us!"
"Like fun I came to save you!" Hermione cried.
"But you said-" Ron was cut off.
"I SAID that for dramatic effect. I'm actually here to save Ron, Harry, you can rot you over rated wizard trash!"
"WAH!" Harry cried.
"Come Ron sweetie, let's go!" Hermione cried.
"Eh . . . yay?" Ron asked.
"Yes Ron, 'yay'!" Hermione said happily. The two of them left Harry to die, but he was later discovered by the girl from Card Captors, put into a card and then sold to Yami-Yugi.
Thus ends the involvement of Harry Potter characters in this story. Until the final battle, which will be long, drawn out, boring, and we'll need a cook.

"MY sword is a lot cooler looking than your Boomerang! Your stupid Boomerang just looks stupid!" Inuyasha cried.
"No way!" Sango shouted. "MY Boomerang looks really cool! Your Sword is WORTHLESS!"
"How can you say that!?" Inu-Yasha demanded. "How many times has this sword saved your life!?"
"How many times was it done on purpose!?" Sango demanded. "And besides, how many times has this boomerang saved YOUR life?"
"Never!" Inuyasha screamed.
"They are at it again." Miroku sighed.
"No Ryouko, I don't wanna 'party' right now!" Tenchi cried. Miroku eyed him, then looked at Ryouko.
"You don't?" Miroku asked. "Are you nuts?"
"Tenchi!" Sasami cried. "I've got an inch, will you scratch it please?"
"Where is it?" Tenchi asked.
"All over my hot little body!"
"Not interested." Tenchi cringed.
"She's young, I can understand that one." Miroku nodded.
"Tenchi!" Mihoshi cried. "Kiyone and I got really drunk and we're vulnerable and stuff so we need you to make sure no one takes advantage of us while we undress in front of you and then have girl on girl-"
"I'm too busy." Tenchi said.
"Are you gay?" Miroku asked, looking longingly at Mihoshi and Kiyone.
"WHAT!?" Tenchi cried.
"Lord Tenchi, I've just completed the assassination-eh I mean my father has just died of natural causes. I must become queen and I need you to be my king!"
"Well gee Aeka, marriage? That's such a big step." Tenchi said.
"Are you stupid?" Miroku asked.
"Of course not!" Tenchi cried. "I just have no reason to have sex with all these incredibly HOT women! I have morals, besides, I'm a virgin, I'm saving myself for the right woman."
"You are gay!" Miroku cried out. "By the gods, what I wouldn't give to be in your shoes for a day!" Miroku sighed.
"Would you give all your pieces of the sacred jewel?" Kagome asked.
Miroku looked at her for a moment, then his gaze drifted and he looked below her neck and then asked "Are those real?"
"Answer my question." Kagome pressed.
"Oh sure I guess."
"Then get ready to rent a room at a motel-six!" Kagome cried, "Cause you're gonna be knee deep in women with bad taste in men in NO TIME!" She cast a spell-or rather threw up one of those big Japanese changing walls and did a quick operation on Tenchi and Miroku-and Miroku was suddenly dressed in Tenchi's shrine guardian farm boy outfit, and Tenchi had Miroku's priest outfit on.
"We just traded cloths!" Miroku said.
"If those girls ever saw Tenchi's face they'd never give him any." Kagome said.
"Hey!" Tenchi cried.
"Therefore I'm sure they wont notice the different in your faces, and all you have to do is make your voice sound real obnoxious and you'll be able to make them think you're Tenchi!"
"Gee I like this dress, the breeze is quite refreshing." Tenchi said.
Miroku glared at him. "It is a robe and you are wearing underwear aren't you?"
"What? A real man doesn't wear-"
"Get him out of my cloths!" Miroku cried.
"Oh lord Tenchi, I've been meaning to ask you something. That devil woman says one of my breasts is bigger than the other, what do you think?"
Miroku forgot his rage completely. "Oh well I'll have to perform a close inspection of them both." He said. "Come with me. Bring this "devil woman" too I may need her assistance."
"Yay!" Aeka cried.

To Be Continued . . .

Mihoshi: We know what Tenchi looks like!
Kiyone: Yeah! It's his personality those stupid girls love, not his ugly rat-like face. Mihoshi and I on the other hand have no interest in Tenchi.
Mihoshi: We have parties of our own. wink
Grimm: Dang it I'm so tired of this! Everyone knows you two aren't REALLY lesbians, it's a terrible joke that got real old real fast but your both so incredibly sexy that most guys keep the fire alive because they are bored and know they can never score with two women at once unless they give up their life savings!
Kasumi: Like Grimm!
Grimm: . . . (weeps) It's true! It's so true!