Chapter 4

My cousin Neblina and I got to the hospital to see Uncle Trueno. ¡Dios mío! He's ok. At High Liver restaurant, Uncle Trueno got involved in a melee on the All You Can Eat buffet line and a colossal duck wearing a Hawaiian shirt toppled over unto him. My uncle resultantly got his ankle twisted. I'm so very happy my uncle wasn't seriously injured and when we all got back to his house; it was alright like Zorro duck promised. Because I went to the hospital I missed the confrontation between El Zorro vs. The Freaky Five. I still couldn't fathom that the vigilante Zorro duck took on Pimp duck and his posse. I prayed that Zorro duck and his Goth friend were alright. All that was left of the blockbuster battle was some scorch marks on the pavement, a few white feathers, some teeth, a few tiny puddles, some plant clippings and a blue canister. I don't know why but I kept the canister as a souvenir. Somehow I knew that it belonged to El Zorro. I didn't talk about it to my uncle and relatives since I felt they've been through enough and everything was back to normal. Matter-of-fact, Neblina was so concerned about her poppa's health and she was too busy arguing with him about patronizing dives like High Liver instead of more upscale St. Canardian restaurants such as Shadow Chateau. She actually never bothered to question me about the incident. 

The last day of my visit in St. Canard, I went to The Whiz Shack electronics store to get a new cell phone. I chatted to the sales personnel about how I broke my old cell phone and they were astonished. One of the guys told me who was who. Pimp duck was the nefarious Negaduck. Battery backpack rat was Megavolt, Insane clown duck was Quackerjack, Wet dog was The Liquidator and Weed duck was Bushroot. Collectively they were super-villains known as The Fearsome Five. El Zorro turned out to be St. Canard's intrepid nocturnal superhero, Darkwing Duck. His Goth girlfriend was an entrepreneur and supposed bruja, Morgana McCawber. I was blown away! Super-villains? Superhero? I never knew such things existed outside of cartoons and comic books. Truthfully, I known about brujas and witchcraft but I won't go into details. Anyways, I thanked my guardian angel that I wasn't killed by The Fearsome Five. Although, personally I still believe Negaduck was a frustrated pimp who needed to get his freak on. But you didn't hear that from me, ok.

Well, that's pretty much my story. I look back with regret that I never really got the chance to properly thank Darkwing Duck for protecting my uncle's home and me. What he did was so selfless, so very heroic. I mean … I have no idea how I could even send him a thank note. I wished I could have fixed for him some empanadas or taken him out for a complimentary cappuccino and a scone. I wished I could've done just something, anything to have let him know how much I appreciated what he did. I wished I could've given his girlfriend Morgana McCawber something appreciative too, considering that she was so very understanding given the circumstances. I could've gotten her all kinds of therapeutic herbs and fetishes wholesale. Don't look at me like that; it's all legit.

At the electronics store in St. Canard, when I found out that Darkwing Duck was a superhero, I told the sales personnel that I should've taken a picture with him or gotten an autograph. They laughed at the notion. They couldn't believe it. Darkwing Duck was a superhero and I wanted to treat him like a celebrity. I'm so silly. I guess they were right; Darkwing probably wouldn't have appreciated some giddy fan girl pestering him for a picture and autograph. Sigh, muy bien.

Darkwing Duck with all respective characters and references are copyright of The Walt Disney Company. Used without permission for non-profit entertainment purposes. All other characters and story are copyright of Honey Bear. The story is based upon a really strange dream that I had. So I guess I have to give The Sandman (or was his name Nodoff ^_^) some credit.

Spanish FYI:

Ay: Oh, ah, alas

Bruja: Witch

Bueno: Good

Coatimundi is a type of South American raccoon.

Dios mío: My God. / My goodness.

Es fabuloso: It's fabulous.

Mamacita: Honey, baby, hot mama (Slang)

Muchas gracias, señorita: Many thanks, Miss. / Thank you very much, Miss.

Muy bien: Very well

Puta: Whore, harlot

Usted semeja un zorro: You resemble a fox. / You're like a fox.

(El) Zorro: (The) Fox

Credits:

"The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" by D.J. Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince

"Secret, strong enough for a man but made for a woman." – Procter & Gamble

"Your night just got more interesting." – Bacardi Silver

"We answer to a higher authority." – Hebrew National

"Baby Got Back" by Sir Mix-A-Lot

Zorro created by Johnston McCulley.