Author's Note: I know this story is a bit far-fetched, and some of you -
well, actually like one or two - noticed that Zim couldn't be Johnny
because Zim is an alien! Well, my inquisitive little readers, I AM NOT
FINISHED WITH THIS YET. After I do this chapter, you will begin to
understand why Johnny is Zim in this fic and why Zim is Johnny. Thank you
and read on.
Disclaimer: Though I'd love to own the characters in JTHM and IZ, the ever- lovely Jhonen Vasquez does. In fact, I think I'd like to own Jhonen too. Yes. But I don't. So you can't sue me.
SELF-REALIZATION CHAPTER 2: METAMORPHOSIS
Johnny - or Zim - sat back against his wall, letting the papers drop from his fingertips. "I'm not of this world.. yet I am.. how.." he murmured dreamily, staring at the ceiling. He closed his eyes and tried to remember. And then it all came back. Every single moment of his childhood crashed back into his brain, and he remembered..
Being an alien but wanting so badly to be human, like the other children. Wanting to be with Gaz. Wanting to be accepted.
And he'd begun to do human things. He stopped contacting the Almighty Tallest, realizing that they'd sent him to Earth to get rid of him. And if they wanted him gone, then he'd be gone.
He wore his disguise every day and every night, but changed that stupid hair around so that it fit his preferences. He changed his clothing to what he wanted it to be. Dark and comfortable.
He wore his eye contacts so much that they reacted to the substances in his alien eyes and just fused. The contacts would become his real eyes. He was never able to take them off, but he grew used to having them in there. They became so real that he could still cry and it would hurt if he poked them.
His obsession with wanting to be human morphed his body. In time, he grew ears. It took much time, years, but his green skin faded into a pale flesh color.
He was angry one day because he wasn't changing as quickly as he'd liked, so he stormed into his bathroom and sliced the antennas off. He'd been in much pain a while after that, and often he would black out for no good reason for an hour or so to a whole day. But soon the black outs stopped and there were two scars on his scalp, hidden beneath his growing black hair.
As he went through puberty and matured, his face changed structure. It grew rounder instead of its naturally narrow shape. He went through a growth spurt and reached his final height at the age of eighteen.
Finally, after years of growing hair, he could take off his wig and have real hair on his head. He'd cut it and style it as he wished. Soon, his hair would just stay the same. Sometimes, though, he combed it back.
At the age of nineteen, he looked in the mirror and saw what he'd wanted to see since twelve years old. He called this new person Johnny. And he convinced himself that he was never an alien, that he was always human.
That lie had driven him mad. He soon was convinced that, yes, he was a human.. but his eating and sleeping habits and his hate for humanity had given him something to question about himself.
He just shrugged it off and told himself he was ridding the world of the insignificant filth that wandered it. He was a good, normal human being.
But now, he sat on the floor of his bedroom, cold and feeling so very alone. He'd gotten what he wanted. He wanted to be human and now he was.
That was that.
But the one thing he did it all for..
Devi. Devi! He ran downstairs, ready to tell her the news. He smiled wide as he stepped into the basement. "Devi! Devi, I know who I am! I know who-" he began excitedly. He stopped abruptly when he saw her body slumped over on the floor, against the wall. Her head hung and her limbs were limp.
"Devi?" he asked shakily. He walked to her, raised her head. Her eyes were closed and she wouldn't respond to his touch. She was cold.
He cried out and checked her pulse. Nothing. Pressed his ear against her chest. Nothing.
He fell back onto the concrete floor, staring at the ceiling.
All those changes, all the hate, the pain..
He did it all for her.. for Devi.. for Gaz..
And his one motivation..
Was gone.
Disclaimer: Though I'd love to own the characters in JTHM and IZ, the ever- lovely Jhonen Vasquez does. In fact, I think I'd like to own Jhonen too. Yes. But I don't. So you can't sue me.
SELF-REALIZATION CHAPTER 2: METAMORPHOSIS
Johnny - or Zim - sat back against his wall, letting the papers drop from his fingertips. "I'm not of this world.. yet I am.. how.." he murmured dreamily, staring at the ceiling. He closed his eyes and tried to remember. And then it all came back. Every single moment of his childhood crashed back into his brain, and he remembered..
Being an alien but wanting so badly to be human, like the other children. Wanting to be with Gaz. Wanting to be accepted.
And he'd begun to do human things. He stopped contacting the Almighty Tallest, realizing that they'd sent him to Earth to get rid of him. And if they wanted him gone, then he'd be gone.
He wore his disguise every day and every night, but changed that stupid hair around so that it fit his preferences. He changed his clothing to what he wanted it to be. Dark and comfortable.
He wore his eye contacts so much that they reacted to the substances in his alien eyes and just fused. The contacts would become his real eyes. He was never able to take them off, but he grew used to having them in there. They became so real that he could still cry and it would hurt if he poked them.
His obsession with wanting to be human morphed his body. In time, he grew ears. It took much time, years, but his green skin faded into a pale flesh color.
He was angry one day because he wasn't changing as quickly as he'd liked, so he stormed into his bathroom and sliced the antennas off. He'd been in much pain a while after that, and often he would black out for no good reason for an hour or so to a whole day. But soon the black outs stopped and there were two scars on his scalp, hidden beneath his growing black hair.
As he went through puberty and matured, his face changed structure. It grew rounder instead of its naturally narrow shape. He went through a growth spurt and reached his final height at the age of eighteen.
Finally, after years of growing hair, he could take off his wig and have real hair on his head. He'd cut it and style it as he wished. Soon, his hair would just stay the same. Sometimes, though, he combed it back.
At the age of nineteen, he looked in the mirror and saw what he'd wanted to see since twelve years old. He called this new person Johnny. And he convinced himself that he was never an alien, that he was always human.
That lie had driven him mad. He soon was convinced that, yes, he was a human.. but his eating and sleeping habits and his hate for humanity had given him something to question about himself.
He just shrugged it off and told himself he was ridding the world of the insignificant filth that wandered it. He was a good, normal human being.
But now, he sat on the floor of his bedroom, cold and feeling so very alone. He'd gotten what he wanted. He wanted to be human and now he was.
That was that.
But the one thing he did it all for..
Devi. Devi! He ran downstairs, ready to tell her the news. He smiled wide as he stepped into the basement. "Devi! Devi, I know who I am! I know who-" he began excitedly. He stopped abruptly when he saw her body slumped over on the floor, against the wall. Her head hung and her limbs were limp.
"Devi?" he asked shakily. He walked to her, raised her head. Her eyes were closed and she wouldn't respond to his touch. She was cold.
He cried out and checked her pulse. Nothing. Pressed his ear against her chest. Nothing.
He fell back onto the concrete floor, staring at the ceiling.
All those changes, all the hate, the pain..
He did it all for her.. for Devi.. for Gaz..
And his one motivation..
Was gone.