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Lost Soul
All of life seems to be a quest to prove our worth. Indeed the only common theme in religion is the need for salvation. All of society, culture, and all other aspects are geared twords pleasing another, be it god, lover, society etc. It as if humanity knows what it could be, and is ashamed of what it is.
For Mike, this is the basis of a lifetime of suffering. When he was a child he viewed his parents death as his fault. How could a child have thought otherwise. His whole life had been devoted to understanding why. What was the sin that he had done to have such retribution inflicted on him. He had searched monasteries and museums, Universities and universes, looking for the answer. And in the end, it couldn't save him.
He woke to conciseness, not a great full man, but a broken one. He blinked a few times and then looked around. He was in a room. It was very nice, king sized bed, ateque furniture, a large balcony looking onto an endless horizon, and he just didn't give a damn. This was the day after Ayane's visit.
"I'm alive" He said to the room, with a hint of sadness.
He felt the low ach of pain in his ribs as he moved. He looked down and found a very nicely made field dressing. He staggered to his feet and went into the bathroom. He looked in a mirror, and noticed he hadn't shaved and had whiskers " So what?" He asked his reflected self. He found his old close, neatly washed and folded on a chair by his bed. He dressed and left the room.
He looked more of a ghost, then a man. What had he done? The atomic bomb, gunpowder, the catlerpult, all palled in comparison to the evil he had unleashed. He had once said that man was good, that he wanted to do what was right. Now he saw the horrid truth, that it was mans nature to fight, to kill. That all forward progress would only be used as a means to that end. And he felt sick.
He found the elevator and hit lobby key. The boring elevator music came on and he stood there, waiting. Wail in the elevator, he realized he didn't feel anymore. Not physical pain, but emotional. It was as if someone had pulled the plug, and this was all that was left. He no longer thought either. Perhaps this was the most bothersome fact of all. He had always had some deep issue he was debating within himself, but now he just didn't care.
He reached the lobby and stepped out. It was a very active scene, with a bunch of people he didn't recognize doing this and that. As he stepped off the elevator, everything stopped. They seemed to exist in completely different worlds and it was like, for that brief second, they could see into the others reality. But, like all things, this passed too quickly.
" You shouldn't be up, your ribs are still broken and you have countless bouses and fractures. How are you up anyways? The pain should have been enough to..."
He rased a hand to silence the voice, without bothering to look at were the voice had come from, it was all pointless anyways. " Physical pain is simply a seris of bio-chemical and electrical signals to the brain, they can be blocked out."
" How, those are anatomic reflexes? No one has control of those." This voice was more sing song then the other. This time he looked up, the floor was boring him. He recognized the speaker at once as the famous opera singer Helena.
" There is a means to do everything, the key is necessity."
" What do you ..." Voice one again, it came from the same red haired girl, who had been yelling at his associates.
" I do not wish to delve into my past, and why I need to know how to block out pain. It would be a pointless waste of time to do so. The key is necessity, but I will not indulge you further then that. I have no time for these frivolities." and on a side note, after a 30 second eternity " You shouldn't have saved me."
They all looked at him, uncomprehendedly. The most startling thing was the matter fo fact way he said it, like he was discussing a new movie or cherry coke vs. regular coke. This timeless silence lasted a whole of about 2 minutes. It was only broken by Vics heavy footsteps to the bar.
" What do you mean, should we have just left you to die?!" Red headed girl again, this time with a certain sense of conviction.
In that same, stone cold voice he said, " Yes, you should have. I have only caused pain and suffering, to prolong my existence any longer is, at best a futile gesture."
" No, thats not right, all things have the right to exist. You didn't do it on purpose..."
" Yes, but I did it. All that matters is actions, intent has no weight. Besides, why put yourself into danger, they'll come looking. I know to much. They will hunt me, and then you, down. What were you saving me from, my own death?" He laughed at this, not a happy laugh, but a cold one that would send shivers down any mans spine. " Your efforts were futile, weather I die today or tomorrow, I will still die, and everything I do is pointless. At least I had a chance at redemption, but fate snatched that away to."
" No, there is more meaning, your alive, you should.."
" What? and make the most of my time in this suburban hell? This conversation is over." At that he walked to the bar, picked up a knife and stuck it in his arm. They all looked at him, paralyzed and sick. After a few seconds he dug out a micro chip, that was under his skin.
" See? It is a tracker, we all had them implanted, when we went to work for DOATEC. IT should have delivered a shook strong enough to kill me once I left the island, but sense it hasn't, my virus must still be reeking havoc."
He took a bottle of alcohol, drank a little and then dumped the rest onto his wound. He let out a groan, and his eyes tread up. He started away. Then he grinded the micro chip to dust between his fingers and began to walk away.
" Where are you..."
" I have to get my thoughts in order." With that, he walked off onto the sandy beach, alone.
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Lost Soul
All of life seems to be a quest to prove our worth. Indeed the only common theme in religion is the need for salvation. All of society, culture, and all other aspects are geared twords pleasing another, be it god, lover, society etc. It as if humanity knows what it could be, and is ashamed of what it is.
For Mike, this is the basis of a lifetime of suffering. When he was a child he viewed his parents death as his fault. How could a child have thought otherwise. His whole life had been devoted to understanding why. What was the sin that he had done to have such retribution inflicted on him. He had searched monasteries and museums, Universities and universes, looking for the answer. And in the end, it couldn't save him.
He woke to conciseness, not a great full man, but a broken one. He blinked a few times and then looked around. He was in a room. It was very nice, king sized bed, ateque furniture, a large balcony looking onto an endless horizon, and he just didn't give a damn. This was the day after Ayane's visit.
"I'm alive" He said to the room, with a hint of sadness.
He felt the low ach of pain in his ribs as he moved. He looked down and found a very nicely made field dressing. He staggered to his feet and went into the bathroom. He looked in a mirror, and noticed he hadn't shaved and had whiskers " So what?" He asked his reflected self. He found his old close, neatly washed and folded on a chair by his bed. He dressed and left the room.
He looked more of a ghost, then a man. What had he done? The atomic bomb, gunpowder, the catlerpult, all palled in comparison to the evil he had unleashed. He had once said that man was good, that he wanted to do what was right. Now he saw the horrid truth, that it was mans nature to fight, to kill. That all forward progress would only be used as a means to that end. And he felt sick.
He found the elevator and hit lobby key. The boring elevator music came on and he stood there, waiting. Wail in the elevator, he realized he didn't feel anymore. Not physical pain, but emotional. It was as if someone had pulled the plug, and this was all that was left. He no longer thought either. Perhaps this was the most bothersome fact of all. He had always had some deep issue he was debating within himself, but now he just didn't care.
He reached the lobby and stepped out. It was a very active scene, with a bunch of people he didn't recognize doing this and that. As he stepped off the elevator, everything stopped. They seemed to exist in completely different worlds and it was like, for that brief second, they could see into the others reality. But, like all things, this passed too quickly.
" You shouldn't be up, your ribs are still broken and you have countless bouses and fractures. How are you up anyways? The pain should have been enough to..."
He rased a hand to silence the voice, without bothering to look at were the voice had come from, it was all pointless anyways. " Physical pain is simply a seris of bio-chemical and electrical signals to the brain, they can be blocked out."
" How, those are anatomic reflexes? No one has control of those." This voice was more sing song then the other. This time he looked up, the floor was boring him. He recognized the speaker at once as the famous opera singer Helena.
" There is a means to do everything, the key is necessity."
" What do you ..." Voice one again, it came from the same red haired girl, who had been yelling at his associates.
" I do not wish to delve into my past, and why I need to know how to block out pain. It would be a pointless waste of time to do so. The key is necessity, but I will not indulge you further then that. I have no time for these frivolities." and on a side note, after a 30 second eternity " You shouldn't have saved me."
They all looked at him, uncomprehendedly. The most startling thing was the matter fo fact way he said it, like he was discussing a new movie or cherry coke vs. regular coke. This timeless silence lasted a whole of about 2 minutes. It was only broken by Vics heavy footsteps to the bar.
" What do you mean, should we have just left you to die?!" Red headed girl again, this time with a certain sense of conviction.
In that same, stone cold voice he said, " Yes, you should have. I have only caused pain and suffering, to prolong my existence any longer is, at best a futile gesture."
" No, thats not right, all things have the right to exist. You didn't do it on purpose..."
" Yes, but I did it. All that matters is actions, intent has no weight. Besides, why put yourself into danger, they'll come looking. I know to much. They will hunt me, and then you, down. What were you saving me from, my own death?" He laughed at this, not a happy laugh, but a cold one that would send shivers down any mans spine. " Your efforts were futile, weather I die today or tomorrow, I will still die, and everything I do is pointless. At least I had a chance at redemption, but fate snatched that away to."
" No, there is more meaning, your alive, you should.."
" What? and make the most of my time in this suburban hell? This conversation is over." At that he walked to the bar, picked up a knife and stuck it in his arm. They all looked at him, paralyzed and sick. After a few seconds he dug out a micro chip, that was under his skin.
" See? It is a tracker, we all had them implanted, when we went to work for DOATEC. IT should have delivered a shook strong enough to kill me once I left the island, but sense it hasn't, my virus must still be reeking havoc."
He took a bottle of alcohol, drank a little and then dumped the rest onto his wound. He let out a groan, and his eyes tread up. He started away. Then he grinded the micro chip to dust between his fingers and began to walk away.
" Where are you..."
" I have to get my thoughts in order." With that, he walked off onto the sandy beach, alone.
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