Man, I've been so evil to you guys!! Sorry 'bout that! But hey, I updated!
Chapters in this story will be shortened from now on because I'm so lazy. :D
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Chapter 23: Yay! The insanity of this fic is back!
(Link's POV)
Sheesh, of all the people... wait... what was I gonna say? How can I forget something that I was gonna think? Did that sentence make sense? Do I like pie? It's a possibility...? How the heck did I ever become insane? Wasn't I NORMAL in the beginning? Isn't normal bad? Man, do I love highlighters. Navi smacked me across the head.
"Stop that!" she screeched.
"Stop what?!"
"You think weird stuff!"
(3rd Person POV)
"WEEEEEE HEE HEEEEEE!!" shouted Nicole as she ran around the entrance to the Spirit Temple, which was where they were right now.
"Can we head to the Temple of Time now?!" Brian said impatiently.
"But aren't we IN the Temple already?" Hayarpi asked. They looked around.
"We're still in the Desert Colussus!" said Gilbert.
"But, how? Didn't we warp to the Temple in the last chapter?" asked Ines. Everyone looked at the author. ... What?!
"Why aren't we in the temple?!"
Uhm... I dunno. You just aren't.
Navi tilted her head. "But we were in the Temple when you ended the last chapter!"
You were? Everyone fell over. ... Oh yeah! Well, I decided to make a plothole appear and toss you back here.
"Why?!"
Because I can. And because I'm the author.
Link raised his sword threateningly. "DARN YOU, AUTHOR POWERSSSS!!!"
I smirked. Anyway, they continued talking aimlessly about random stuff.
"I like pie!" Nicole said.
Link sighed and sheathed his sword. "Sheesh, monkey spanks hurt."
Hayarpi stared at Link. "... What?"
"No, nothing." Link sighed. 'Why the heck did I say that... STUPID INSANITY!' he thought and slapped himself.
"o.O" everyone stared at the kokiri raised man.
"STOP STARING!!!"
Everybody looked away quickly.
"WEEEEE HEE HEEEEE!" Nicole shrieked like a monkey, jumping in Link's arms. "LINKY-POO!"
'I feel awkward.' thought Link. 'Maybe it's because I used to like her. Maybe I still DO like her! Oh, the mysteries of love!'
"No you don't!" Navi yelled.
Link blinked. "... Oh yeah, you're right! I don't! I got over that in the Forest Temple!"
"It's cuz we have no one else to pair Nicole up with, so everyone gets affected," Hayarpi sobbed in the background. The earthlings sighed.
"DAMMIT, LINK!" Nicole smacked him across the face.
"OW! What, Nicole?!"
"Throw me over the sand hill!!"
"o.o;;"
"NOW!"
Link nodded and started running for a sand hill that appeared out of nowhere. 'Where do these hills come from? Did Sheik make them? Sheik looks awfully familiar to someone...' he thought.
"I said to throw me OVER the hill, not drop me on it!"
Link sighed. "Why do you want to be thrown over the hill anyway?!"
"So I can get a pot of gold from thy leprechaun! He gives me multi-colored carpets too! Look!!" she pointed to the other side of the hill. Link looked over and saw a little man dancing jauntily around a pot of gold.
"Hear ye, hear ye!!" it yelled, "Where is Nikki Amythest?! She must retrieve this gold before I sell it off to the black market!"
Link glanced at Nicole. "Who's Nikki Amythest?"
"Some character L-Gurl made up. Based on me except much more serious. L-GURL OWNS NIKKI AMYTHEST! THOU SHALT NOT STEAL!" Nicole smacked the reader over with a rainstick.
The Hylian raised an eyebrow. "Where'd you get that?"
"DISNEYLAND!"
Link raised another eyebrow. 'What's Disneyland? Is it filled with little people dancing jauntily around toilets? I sure hope so!!' And out loud he said, "Take me to the happiness!"
Nicole blinked. "Okey!!" She grabbed his hand and led him to the rest of the crew who were tapping their foots with pissed off looks on their faces.
Link started thinking again. 'Why is everyone so mad? Can't we all get along? ... I like Zidane from FF9. I want a dagger. Why can't I have a dagger? Daggers are cool! ... FF9. Dang, Princess Garnet from FF9 is HOT! Wait, she's my age! I can go out with her! Woo hoo! ... Aww, she's in Playstation... dang. -.-;;;'
Navi coughed. "You like Garnet from FF9?"
"Of course not, you dork! I like Zidane! Oooh, him and his fluffy tail!"
Everyone backed away from Link. Can't blame 'em.
Ines walked towards him, smiling. She snatched the ocarina from his hands and wiped the mouthpiece. "Are you gonna play the Prelude of Light, or shall I play it for thee?"
"NO!" Link snatched back the ocarina. "MY ocarina! Not yours! MINE! I don't want girl cooties on it!"
She giggled. "You're such an idiot."
"Hey!" shouted Nicole. "You're supposed to say that to me!"
Ines turned to her. "Okay, YOU are such an idiot. And may you enjoy life on planet Daahtuogjghrwut."
"I agree!"
The Hero of Time turned to Gilbert and Brian. "Why are you two quiet? ... Hallo?!" He waved a hand in front of their faces. He looked over to where they were looking and saw Hayarpi and Ines.
Link rolled his eyes. "Sheesh! Boys!"
"But..." said Navi, "YOU'RE a boy!"
The blue eyed man smirked. "What made you so sure?"
She flew away from him, a look of horror on her face. Link was so weird.
"HEY!"
I speak the truth...
"You're all insane!" Navi yelled.
"I agree!" Link said, grinning.
"CAN WE GO NOW?!" Hayarpi screamed, leaping on Link's back and chewing on his hat.
'Wait...' thought Link, 'AUUUGGGHHHHHH!!!!!' And out loud, "AAAAUUUUUGGGGGHHHH!!!" he shouted, running around like he was on fire. "AAAHHHHHHHH!! GETHEROFFGETHEROFFGETHEROFF!!"
Brian jumped up, grabbed Hayarpi and held her over him. "Macho macho man! I want to be... a Macho man!!"
"Nachos?" Nicole asked.
"Hachos?" Ines asked.
"Vachos?" Brian asked.
"Kachos?" Gilbert asked.
"Lachos?" Link asked.
"Gachos?" Hayarpi asked.
"Jachos?"
"Wachos?"
"Bachos?"
"Xachos?"
"Rachos?"
"Pachos?"
"ALL RIGHT, SHUT UP!" Navi shrieked. They all stopped. "God, you people! Has your insanity returned?!"
"YES!" yelled Nicole, jumping up and down. "THE HAPPINESS! LEMME SING A SONG!"
"OKEY!" screamed everyone, including Navi.
"Shizukani deguchini tatte!
kurayami ni hikari wo ute!
imadoki yakusoku nante! fuan ni saseru dakekana!
negai wo kuchi ni shitaidake sagasou kunimo shoukai suruyo kitto umaku ikuyo!
donna tokidatte! zutto futaride!
donna tokidatte! soba ni irukara!
kimi to iu hikari ga watashi wo mitsukeru!
mayonakani!
donna tokidatte! zutto futaride!
donna tokidatte! soba ni irukara!
kimi to iu hikari ga watashi wo mitsukeru!
mayonakani!
kansei sasenaide! motto yokushite!
one scene zutsu totte! ikeba iikara!
kimi to iu hikari ga watashi no scenario!
utsushidasu!
motto hanasouyo! mokuzen no ashita no koto mo!
terebi keshite watashi no koto dake wo miteiteyo!
donnani yokutatte! shinji kirenaine!
sonna toki datte! soba ni irukara!
kimi to iu hikari ga watashi wo mitsukeru!
mayonakani!"
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--"
Breath.
"--AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--"
Another breath.
"--AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!" everyone finished.
They all started clapping while Nicole bowed.
"What song is that?" asked Link.
"The Kingdom Hearts theme song! I just sang some of my favorite parts. "
Hayarpi's eyes widened. "You mean it's longer than that?!"
"Mmm hmm!"
Everybody fell over.
"Sheesh kabob!" said Hayarpi.
"Oooh, shish kabob!" Link said. "... Whuzzat?"
"It's food."
"Oh. ... Can I have some?"
Nicole leaped on his back. "PIGGY BACK RIDE!!"
Link threw her off him. "No."
"Dang!"
"Wait, where are we now?"
Everybody looked around. "Uhm..." said Gilbert, "We're in the Temple of Time!"
Brian raised an eyebrow. "How's that possible? We were in the Desert Colusses a few minutes ago."
Navi giggled and pulled out a small ocarina. "I used this!"
Link blinked. "You can play the ocarina?"
Navi smacked Link with it. "OF COURSE!! Why do you think I was hired to be your fairy in the first place?"
"Uhm... because you were meant to annoy me?"
Navi flew into Link's hat.
"OWWWWWWWWWWWWW!! OWW! OW! OW! OW!!! OWOWOWOWOWOW!!" shrieked Link as he ran around the Temple screaming bloody murder. "BLOODY MURDER! BLOODY MURDER OF MY LUSHIOUS BLONDE HAIR! AUUUUUUUGHHHHH!!"
The blue fairy flew out of his hat. ":D"
"Jeez, did you REALLY pull my hair out?! Cuz that hurt like crap!"
"... Crap hurts?"
Link glared and swatted at Navi. "NO!"
"All I did was cast a small lightning spell at the roots of your hair."
"SO MY HAIR IS FRIED?!"
"... Only the roots..."
"AUGH!!!" the hylian started chasing after his fairy.
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!! SAVE ME JEBUS!!"
Brian, Ines, Gilbert, Hayarpi and Nicole stared in silence.
"Isn't it nice how they get along?" said Nicole. Everyone fell over.
"MOMMEEEEEEEEE!!"
"Come back here, Navi! And fix my hair!" Navi flew in Link's hat and made him feel a tingling sensation on his head. "What are you doing now?!?"
"Shut up, I'm fixing your dang hair!"
"Oh okay."
Navi flew out again. "There. Happy?"
"Very!"
Brian grabbed Link's hand. "Let's go, fairy boy."
"'Kay!" Link was led to the Pedestal of Time. "Ready?"
Everyone sighed. "... -.-;;"
"I'll take that as a yes!" He pulled the Master Sword out of it's pedestal and a blue light surrounded them all.
Even MORE WARPING! YAY!
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7 years later...
Adult Link fully pulled the Master Sword out of it's place. "Yes! I'm an adult!"
"And as sexy as ever!" Nicole winked. Link blushed at being called sexy. But then Nicole slapped him on the back. "JUST KIDDING!!"
"... Owww..."
"Uhm, sorry."
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Oh gosh. Insanity. :D;;;;
- L-Gurl