Hi guys! Thanks for reviewing. :D Here's an ::EXTRA LONG:: chapter to all you faithful readers! So if you don't have time to read it, oh well! (stupid grin)
Link: Why is there a lot of Malon in this chappy?
Because she rocks socks. And is way more better than Zelda.
Niagra: Malon was only in one game... Zelda was in... like, all of 'em.
So?!
Niagra/Link: o.O Nothing!
To Kite: Yes, I already know that Malon and Link are to be married. I found out by some researching myself! Cuz, y'know, Wind Waker is 100 years after OoT Link defeated Ganondorf. In Wind Waker, Zelda is there also! So that means that OoT Link couldn't have possibly married OoT Zelda because that would mean the WW Zelda is WW Link's sister (or at least somehow related). The only other women Link could marry were Malon, Saria, Nabooru, and Ruto.
Why Link can't marry Saria: Hello?! Saria can't grow up!! o.O;;;
Why Link can't marry Ruto: If Link married Ruto, WW Link would have fins. And he doesn't.
Why Link can't marry Nabooru: She's too old for him. (Nabooru: Hey!) No offense, I'm just stating the truth!
Why Link CAN marry Malon: She's the only one left from the other 3. Same age, same height, same species. Besides, they make a GREAT couple. (Yeah, so I'm a Malinker! So?)
Therefore, Link will not be married to Zelda, but to Malon. :D
... Yeah, I just pieced it all together all by myself. :D
Fun Fact: WW Link's Grandma that we'll see in the game is the daughter of OoT Link and OoT Malon!
(revision note: (STARES AT THE ABOVE) Um. ... Um. I have no response to that. Did I really say that? Man. xD That was just some theory I made up I think, cuz I was/am a huge MaLink shipper so yeah. I don't think WW Link's Grandma is Link and Malon's daughter. ... Though I still believe it's possible that OoT Link got married to Malon, HAHAHA! NO ZELINK! XDD (shot by ZeLink readers)
I should've put this also:
Why Link can't marry Impa: CUZ IT'S JUST WRONG OKAY.
xD;;;
Oh and I actually like Zelda now. Hehe.)
Now that I've finished rambling, read the chapter! (stupid grin)
------
Chapter 25: Goofing around before important events!
"So like... now what?" Hayarpi asked.
"Off to Lon Lon Ranch!" Link yelled.
Gilbert scratched his head. "Huh? Why?"
"Off to see Malon!"
"Why?"
"Cuz we haven't seen her in a while!"
Nicole laughed. "Nah, Link, you're just in luuurve with her!" he narrowed his eyes at her.
"Uh... okay then, let's go!" Ines said.
Everybody called their horses in the middle of the field and then cantered to the ranch. At the entrance, they dismounted their horses and walked towards Malon. She was singing with her hands clasped together and her eyes closed.
Link sneaked up behind her, and in a low, deathly voice, murmured, "Hello... Malon..."
Malon jerked out of her singing state and screamed, "HOLY CRAP!" Link grinned broadly.
Nicole laughed hysterically and pointed at Malon. "Hahaha, loseeerrr!"
"-.- +"
"Hi Malon!" said Brian, Gilbert, Ines and Hayarpi.
"Hello! What brings you to this ranch?"
Link started thinking. He put a hand up to his chin and started stroking it slowly. "Well, we just completed all five temples and are now on our way to Ganondorf!"
Malon gasped. "You mean... The King of Evil?!"
Thunder is heard in the background.
"O.o?"
"Uhh yeah, him."
"Well, I wish you luck, you guys!" Malon gave them all a cheerful smile.
"But we went here first for a reason."
"Oh. Okay. What's that reason?"
Link bowed down on one knee and put a closed fist across his chest. "To learn from you, master."
Malon just stood there, staring down at her friend. The earthlings blinked; they too were confused. "Excuse me?"
Link looked up with his midnight blue eyes. "Remember? When we were kids? You taught me everything I know!"
Nicole, Gilbert, Ines, Brian and Hayarpi fell over. "WHAAAT?! SHE DID?!" they all yelled.
Link turned to them and nodded. "Yes! She is my master, and I am her apprentice." then he bowed his head to Malon again.
Nicole giggled. Malon was Link's MASTER! Navi bonked Nicole for being pervy.
(revision note: ... i added that above sentence. (GUILTY) XD)
The ranch girl had a thoughtful look on her face. "I... did...?" she murmured.
- FLASHBACK! -
"AAAIIIEEEE!" shrieked young Link like a little girl, barely dodging the pitchfork that was just about to smack him upside the head. He looked up at the fire-haired girl with big, pleading blue eyes. "Can we take a break?"
Malon sighed, slapping her forehead. "Link! We just started five minutes ago, and we've already had two breaks!" she yelled.
"But... but..."
"No buts! If you want to be a better fighter, you must learn to strategize well!"
"... But..."
"Defend, Link! You have a shield!"
"But!"
"HI-YA!" Malon lifted the pitchfork above her head again, screeched like an Indian warrior and then brought it down upon Link, who had the most scared look you could ever see on a little 11-year-old.
"AAAIIIEEEE!" Link cried again, scrambling up from the ground and running away like mad. Malon chased after him, pitchfork still raised.
"LIIIINK! YOU'RE GOING TO LEARN FROM THIS AND BENEFIT! COME BACK HERE, FAIRY BOY!" shouted the ranch girl.
- END OF FLASHBACK! -
"Oh... yes... I remember..." giggled Malon.
Link smiled faintly. "So will you teach us? Or have you taught me everything you knew already?"
Malon smirked. "Link, Link, Link, one NEVER teaches another EVERYTHING one knows." she started heading in the barn while everyone waited.
Brian faced Link. "Did Malon REALLY teach you all your strategizing skills?" he asked.
Link nodded. "Why, is it so hard for you guys to believe?"
"YES!" they all said.
"Why?"
"Because! That's Malon! She lives in a RANCH! Where would she learn that anyway?" Hayarpi said.
"I dunno..."
The ranch girl came out of the barn, holding a pitchfork in her right hand. "All right! Let's get to work!" she said while walking to the paddock.
"Yes master!" Link said as he scurried along after Malon. The 5 earthlings looked on until they shook their heads and followed.
"First," Malon gripped the pitchfork with both hands. "Show me what's new, fairy boy!"
Link grinned slyly and unsheathed his sword and shield. "The pleasure's all mine! Navi!" The blue fairy flew right by his side and flew to Malon, targeting her for him. The redhead moved out of her fighting stance and sighed. "What?" asked the blond.
"You can't use Navi."
"WHAAAT?!"
Nicole started laughing at him. "HAHAHA! LOSSEERRR!"
"SHADDAAAPP!!" then he faced his 'master'. "Why can't I use Navi?"
"It'll be too easy. Besides, do I have a fairy to help me target people?"
"No. But you should get one!!"
She slapped her forehead. Navi shrugged and flew to the earthlings, who were sitting on the grass cross-legged, watching the two Hylians from not far away.
"You don't use Navi during your Super Smash Brothers Melee fights anyway!"
"... My whatta whatta whatta fights?"
"... Nevermind. C'MON, LINK!!" she yelled, gripping the pitchfork again. She held it like a staff and swung at the Hero of Time, instantly whacking him on the head.
"... x.X" he fell over. Malon ran to his side and held him up. The earthlings also ran over.
"Dude, girl! You killed Link!" Gilbert said.
"He's not dead." she replied.
"But look at his eyes!" said Ines. Everyone looked at Link who had "X" marks on his closed eyes.
Nicole smirked. "Watch this. HEY! HI RUTO!"
"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Link leapt to his feet and started swinging madly with his sword. Everyone flipped out of his way.
Malon was able to dodge all his mad swings and she grabbed Link's left arm. "Stop!"
He blinked then looked to the floor. "Sorry mom."
"S'okay. Okay look, stop delaying and show me what you've learned!" she jumped back and held her weapon. Link nodded, but then faced the earthlings.
"HEY! DOES ONE OF YOU HAVE A HEALING FAIRY?!"
Hayarpi nodded and held up a bottle with a pink fairy in it. "Yep!"
"Good!" he faced the other Hylian again, and leapt for her in a flying jump attack. She jumped over him and struck him with her pitchfork. Then, Link turned around and slashed at Malon vertically, injuring her left arm. Link started swinging his sword in difficult moves and almost chopped off half of Malon's hair. She side-jumped out of the sword's reach, jumped up, and stood on the Master Sword while Link held it.
"Huh?! What are you doing?! That's cheating!" he cried.
Malon shook her head. "No it's not." she instantly smacked Link with the "staff" (pitchfork) and jumped off the sword and onto the ground behind him. As she turned around, her face met with the sharp point of the Master Sword and she was flung 3 feet.
"Oh shiz!" gasped Link. He ran over to her. "You okay?! I'm sorry! Oh Goddesses, I'm sorry! Sorry!!"
Malon sat up, rubbing her cheek. It was smeared with blood. "Ugh... it's okay, Link." she got up and held her staff again. "Let's continue!"
"But you're injured..."
"Look, if you're gonna fight Ganondorf, and you get a way more worse injury than this, would YOU stop fighting?! Think, Link!"
She started running towards him, and with a scream, smacked Link's stomach. He doubled over in pain, but then held up his Master Sword just as the pitchfork was about to hit him again. He rolled out of harm's way again, and jumped over the ranch girl. He grabbed her hand and flung her right over him. She landed on the floor with a thud, but got up immediately. Malon jumped, with the assistance of her staff, and kicked Link right in the gut. Her kick looked similar to the kick Zelda had in SSBM, except there was no magic involved.
Link was knocked back 5 feet and then rolled over to his side. He lay there, the Master Sword in his left hand and the Hylian Shield slipping out of his right hand.
"Get up, fairy boy!" Malon yelled. He nodded and got up slowly. He coughed weakly, but then held his sword in his left hand, determination in his eyes.
"I'll beat you, Malon!" he said.
"Good! C'mon and try!" she teased. They both lunged for each other and Link rolled right under Malon just as she was about to smack him while airborne. He dropkicked her and she fell over on her right side. Malon let out a gasp of pain and was distracted for a few seconds before she got her guard up again and rolled to the left, getting up at the same time.
Malon held her staff, and then began twirling it in a strange pattern. She advanced on Link while doing so, and as an end of it hit Link's face, he too was distracted for a while before Malon kicked him in the gut again.
Link did a horizontal slash and made a gash on part on the ranch girl's stomach. She cried out but then got back into focus again as she gave him a diagonal swing with the pitchfork. The staff hit Link's right hip and he too cried out.
Taking out his longshot, he aimed it at Malon and pulled her towards him. (sorta like in SSBM!)
"Hey! Let go!" she shouted.
"Nope!!" then, he took Malon's arm, flung her into the air above him and struck her with his sword. She was flung HIGH into the air, but as she slowly descended and neared Link, she kicked him from above, knocking him a good 2 feet away.
Malon landed weakly on her two feet, but then fell to her knees. She held on to the pitchfork for support. Link was lying on his back, partly sitting up.
They didn't look too good at all. There was a big cut on Malon's cheek that was bleeding a lot, a gash in her left arm, and the bottom of her dress was partly stained with blood. Her stomach had also had a cut, not too deep, but it too was bleeding. She was clutching onto it in pain. One of her legs already had a bruise forming on the thigh.
Link's hip was smeared with blood and there were cuts all over his face. There were tears in his leggings and tunic, and some blood was also stained on his blond hair. His stomach too was cut, but he was clutching to his hip instead.
"Ha... ha..." gasped Link, "I... I... beat you..." then he fell back and fainted.
Malon coughed out some blood. "Ack. I feel... like... crap..." she muttered. She tried getting up, but the pain was just annoying her actually, and she felt too lazy to get up on her own. "Someone, help meee..."
Hayarpi walked over to Link and released the pink fairy. "Heal him, the blond guy." the fairy nodded and flew around Link's bruised and battered body, restoring his blood, fixing his clothes, and making him feel better! He got up the instant the fairy was done.
"Wow!! I feel so much better!" he jumped up and started kicking and punching the air. "That was a great fight! Wasn't it, Malon?" he looked to his friend, but then frowned when he saw her kneeling there in pain.
"Shut. Up."
Gilbert ran over and released another pink healing fairy on her. The fairy danced around Malon's body, healing and fixing and doing all that spiffy stuff, and then flew away when she was done. Malon got up and tucked her hair back on her ear.
"Yep. You've improved, Link."
"WHAT?! THAT'S ALL YOU CAN SAY AFTER THIS FIGHT?!"
She nodded. "Yes. You've definitely MUCH better at me in fighting. But you can't strategize well."
"And you can."
"Of course. That's what I taught you when we were kids, right? Strategizing. Sometimes you're just all brawn, Link."
"Yes, I know..."
"Anyways, going back to the fight. Why'd you faint?"
Link thought for a while. "I don't know, really."
"Ah... did you try your hardest?" asked Malon.
"Uh... no! I was kinda holding back..." said Link.
"... Tell the truth."
He sighed. "Okay fine, I wasn't holding back THAT much. You made my hip and stomach bleed, man! I wanted to get you back for that... -.-;;"
"Sorry. :D;; But YOU made a cut on my cheek! And you made my stomach bleed too!"
"So I guess we're even!"
"Fine!"
"Fine!"
"FINE!!"
"FIINEEE!!"
Then they turned their backs to each other. Navi blinked. "What kind of fight is that?" she asked.
"A very good one!" grinned Nicole.
"Uh..." Link looked over his shoulder. "Teach us more...?"
"Okay!" Malon smiled. She took her pitchfork from the ground and gestured for everyone to follow her.
For the next few hours, Malon taught the heroes and heroines all they needed to know in order to be prepared for the fight against Ganondorf. She taught them to use every single weapon they've got for good results. Let's see how they're doing.
"All right," said the ranch girl, picking up a pot. Y'know, those brown pots that Link breaks easily? "Always use whatever the enemy throws at you. It may be their weakness."
"Like GG in the Forest Temple!" Nicole grinned. The other girls nodded.
Malon had no idea, but looked at the blond anyway. "Link!" she said.
Link looked up. "Yeah?"
"What would you do if I did this?" she threw the pot hard at him, and he screamed and held his shield up. The pot was shattered to pieces.
Malon slapped her forehead. "Didn't you hear what I said?"
"Not really..."
"Ayayai..." she picked up another pot. "Brian!!" she yelled. He looked up just as Malon threw the pot at him, and it smacked him right in the face. Malon gasped and covered her mouth with both hands. "OOPS!"
"BRIAN!!" Hayarpi cried, going over to his side.
"Uuuhhm... ouch."
"You okay?"
"Just fine, yes!"
"YAY!" then she kissed him on the cheek and he blushed. Everyone laughed.
"HAHAHA, LOSSEEERRR!" Nicole giggled insanely.
"Goddesses, you LOVE to say that, don't you?!" Ines yelled.
"YEP!"
"You guys! Pay attention!" Navi sighed. Everyone sighed also and turned their attention back to the ranch girl.
"Now please," she said, picking up another pot. "Do what I said! Gilbert!" she threw the pot at him. He caught it, and threw the pot back at her. Malon caught it and grinned. "There we go!"
"Ooooh, THAT'S what you wanted us to do?" Link and Brian asked. Malon sweatdropped.
"Yes."
During the next few hours, Malon taught them more about strategizing. It was about 5:45pm when Link asked her something.
"Malon?"
"Yeah, Link?"
"If you're so good, which I know you really are, then why don't YOU go face Ganondorf?" he asked innocently.
Malon was taken aback. She laughed and blushed a little bit. "Oh Link!" she started, "I'm not that good. You guys are WAY MUCH BETTER than me at fighting anyways."
"We know," Ines said, "But you're way more good at strategizing. Plus, your fighting isn't that bad."
"Yes it is."
"No it's not."
"Yes it is."
"No it's not."
"Yes it is."
"No it's not."
"Yes it is."
"No it's not."
"Oh stop it!" Navi said.
"Yes it is." replied Malon. "But anyway, it's cuz it's not my destiny. I am only a simple farmgirl, waiting for her prince to come...!" Everyone sweatdropped.
It was about 7:15pm when they finished. Malon taught them a lot of stuff, mostly the most important things she knew.
"Thank you sooo much, Mal!" Link said, giving Malon a hug. She hugged back, smiling.
"No prob, Link. You guys will totally defeat Ganondorf! You've mastered both brain and brawn! Unlike Ganon, who's all brawn and no brain at all."
"HEY! I HEARD THAT, RANCH GIRL!" screamed a voice from above.
Malon grinned, and stuck her tongue out at the sky. "HAHAHA, LOSSEEERRR!!!" she teased.
"Hey! That's my line!" Nicole yelled.
"NO! THAT'S MY LINE! YOU JACKERS!" a girl named Tanya shrieked. Then she exited the ranch.
"o.O;;" everyone raised an eyebrow.
"Anyway, we're off now, Mal!" Link said. Malon nodded.
"All right! Good luck to ya!" she said.
Everyone thanked her and began walking out of the ranch, waving goodbye. Once they were out, Malon went into the barn and got a rake. She went to the paddock and started raking away the remains of the broken pot earlier.
The 7 people entered the ranch again. Malon looked up. "Oh, hi again! What's up?"
"Uh..." Hayarpi said, "We have no place to say for the night..."
Malon sweatdropped. "Oh, of course! C'mon, I'll show you to your rooms!" she dropped the rake and led them into the house.
-
Inside...
"You've stayed here before," Malon said, walking down the hall. "Here's the room Gilbert, Brian, Nicole and Navi stayed in before." Then she walked to another door on the other side that was a few feet away. "And this is the room Ines and Hayarpi stayed in. I'll be leaving now, to rake up the remains of our sessions at the paddock. Get yourselves situated, 'kay? If ya need me, I'll be outside." then she smiled at them and then continued downstairs.
The seven looked at each other. "So..." Navi said, "Who's staying with who?"
"OH! OH!! I WANNA STAY WITH THE BOYS!!" Nicole yelled, pointing at Brian and Gilbert.
The two men's eyes widened and they made a cross sign with their fingers. "NO! NO!! EVIL! STAY AWAY!!" they screamed.
"I won't make you watch a Teletubby marathon."
Brian blinked. "You won't?"
Gilbert backed away more. "SHE LIES!!"
"I am not lying!!"
Brian sighed. "Okay fine..."
"WOO HOO!!"
"How about me?" Link asked.
"Stay with us!" said Hayarpi and Ines.
"But I wanna stay with Nicole!"
Nicole raised an eyebrow. ".Oo;; Nah Link, stay with them. There are three beds in each room anyway."
"Oh fine."
Link, Ines and Hayarpi went into their room while Nicole went into the other room. Gilbert and Brian sighed as they hesitantly entered the room with Nicole.
Navi hovered between the two rooms. "Where should I go?!"
Nicole poked her head out. "Oh, go with Link!"
"Okay!" she flew into the room that Link was residing in.
-
Nicole, Brian, Gilbert...
"Ayayai, I'm so tired!" Nicole said as she flopped down on one of the beds. "I've got dibs on this bed!" she said happily and then closed her eyes. After a while, she realized that the boys weren't saying anything and opened her left eye. She saw Gilbert and Brian huddled in the corner of the room, watching her every move.
"o.O Guys? What are you doing?" she asked, getting off the bed and walking towards them.
"AAAHHH! EVIL! GET AWAY!!" they screamed, making a cross sign with their fingers.
"I won't make you watch a marathon!!" she took her portable TV out of her dimensional pocket.
"AAAAAHHHHHHHH!! EVIL TV! BACK!! BACK, I TELL YOU!!" they screamed again.
Nicole sighed. "It's out of batteries from last time. I've got nothing. Seriously."
Brian blinked and started thinking. "Are you sure?"
"Yes."
Gilbert sighed. "I think she's being nice for once..."
"Well... just this once."
"Phew!" said the two boys, getting up and lying down on the other two beds.
-
Link, Hayarpi, Ines, Navi...
"This is... awkward." Link said to himself as he saw Ines and Hayarpi gossiping and giggling on the other two beds.
"Well, that's what girls do." Navi said. She was sitting cross-legged on the table beside Link's bed. She pulled her blue bed out of her dimensional pocket and sat down on it, grinning.
"What do I do here? It's so boring!" cried Link. Ines and Hayarpi overheard him and then faced him.
"Link, it won't be so boring if you go over here." Hayarpi said.
"Why would I wanna go there?"
"We're talking gossip!!" Ines said happily.
"I know!"
"Then c'mere!!"
"Who are you talking about, exactly?"
Hayarpi sighed. "Link, it's gossip. We talk about everyone."
"And everything we heard about everyone." Ines added.
After a while, Link sighed and crawled over to the middle bed where Hayarpi and Ines were sitting. "Okay. Fine. Gossip."
-
Other room...
"Do ya have any... five's?" Nicole asked Brian.
He looked at his cards and shook his head. "Nope. Go fish."
"Darn!" Nicole took a card out of the deck of cards.
Brian faced Gilbert. "Have any... king's?"
Gilbert nodded. "Yeah. Here." he gave Brian his King card and Brian put a pair down.
"Isn't this kinda boring?" Nicole asked. The boys narrowed their eyes at her.
"What do you want us to do?" asked Gilbert suspiciously.
Nicole shrugged. "I dunno," she put down her cards. "Eh, I don't feel like playing now." she walked over to her bed and crawled in it, a notebook and pencil in hand. "I'll be here if you need me."
"Okay." came the boys' reply.
-
Other room...
"Oh my god! Really?! Is that true!?" shrieked LINK (yep, Link! ), eyes widening.
Hayarpi gave him a huge grin. "Yes! It's true! I can't believe it either!"
"Where'd you get that information?!" giggled Ines.
"The market! You can get SO much gossip in the market."
"But the market's filled with ReDeads..." Link said.
"Oh, I got it when we were kids."
"Oh okay!"
"Anyways," Ines continued, "I have some gossip of my own!"
Link laughed. "Oh, do tell!"
The three began talking and giggling again. Navi had her light turned off so her clothes and face were showing. She was lying on her bed that was on the table beside Link's bed. She glanced over at the three. "My Goddesses." she murmured. "Link's gone to the evil side."
From the middle bed, Link giggled as Ines told more about what she heard about WINDMILL GUY!!! (N/L: Eww! Gossip about Windmill Guy?!) I couldn't think of anything else!!
Navi slapped her forehead and then rolled over to her stomach. "Sheesh. Now I'm the one that's bored. Maybe I should go visit the other guys' room." She flew to the trio. "Hey!"
They looked up. "Yeah, Navi?" Link asked.
"I'm going' to the other room, 'kay?"
"Oh, sure."
"See ya later then." she headed for the door. Right before she was able to go through it she told Link, "You are one weird man, Link." He grinned and then continued gossiping. Navi sighed and fled through the door.
-
Other room...
"HEEEEEEEEEEY!!!" Nicole screeched from the bed.
"WWWWWHAAAAATTT?!" yelled Gilbert.
"I wrote a poem!"
Brian got up from the floor where he and Gilbert were still playing cards and crawled over next to Nicole on the bed. "Yay! Can I read?"
"Not until Gil gets up here too!"
Gilbert sighed and got up. "All right." He walked over to the bed and sat down. Nicole ahemed and started reading...
"This poem is called "I'm a fruit!" by Nicole, ally to the Hero of Time and all-time crazy-person." Gilbert and Brian sweatdropped. She began reading again.
"I'm a fruit!
I'm not worth much loot!
But I taste good!
Eat me, I'm food!
I come in different shapes!
Sometimes I come in crates!
I'm good to eat!
A very nice treat!
I'm good for your body!
C'mon, and peel meee!
Sometimes I come as a banana!
While eating me, you do the Macarena!
Sometimes I'm an orange!
... Does anything rhyme with orange?!
Sometimes I'm an apple!
Hey, I see a horse, a dapple!
Fruits are really good for you!
Some c'mere, pick me up, and have a chew!
Sometimes people eat vegetables instead!
But tomatoes are not as good as an apple, at least not as red!
I think I'm finished with this poem!
I've clearly stated my point!
Hey camera man, go and roll 'em!
Now you'll watch a movie about fruits, and don't smoke joints!"
Gilbert and Brian fell off the bed. "Don't smoke joints?" laughed Brian.
"Yep! Joints are bad!"
A light clapping was heard from the doorway. The trio turned to the door and saw Navi hovering and clapping.
"Good poem, good poem!" she grinned.
"Hi Navi!" Nicole, Brian and Gilbert said.
"Hey! I see that you're not torturing them, Nicole."
"Yeah. I decided that I'd be nice." The boys smiled widely. "... Just this once." Their smile turned into a frown.
-
Other room...
"Ah c'mon, Link! Go to sleep!" Ines begged.
"Why do you want me to sleep?" he asked innocently from his bed. Ines and Hayarpi were still sitting on the middle bed.
"I need to tell Hayarpi something!"
"Yeah!"
"But I... I want to know too..." he said in a cute way.
Hayarpi and Ines looked at each other and sighed. They can't resist Link's way too good looks. (L: Ah, so you finally admit I'm cute, huh?) I never said that! (L: Darn it, so close!)
"Oh all right." Link squealed like a little Japanese schoolgirl and crawled over to the middle bed. The two girls scooted away from him.
"What?"
"Don't ever squeal like that again." Ines said.
"Ever. Again. Never ever." added Hayarpi.
"Okay," Ines faced Hayarpi. She opened her mouth to talk, but then saw Link staring at her with his midnight blue eyes. She glanced at him, and then tried to speak again. But Link's eyes wouldn't leave her alone. "GOD, LINK! DON'T STARE AT ME LIKE THAT!"
"EEEP!" he shrieked, ducking under the bed's blanket.
"Ugh! Anyway, Hayarpi, we need to find a way to get them to kiss us before this quest is over!"
"I know!" she replied, "but how?"
Link went out of the covers and faced the two. "You want to kiss someone?! Who?! Is this more gossip?!" The girls ignored him. Link was totally engrossed in the conversation anyway so he didn't care much.
"Wait, but why do we need them to kiss us BEFORE this quest is over?" Hayarpi asked.
"So when we get back to Earth, we can be boyfriend and girlfriend!"
"EEEEEEKKKKK!!" they both screeched in a high-pitched tone, giggling like crazy. Link fell off the bed, clutching his Hylian ears.
"X.x;;; My ears... the paaaiiin…"
-
Other room...
Nicole was sleeping soundly on her bed, the covers just up to her waist. The boys and Navi stared at her.
"Is she... is she REALLY asleep?" Brian asked.
"I guess..." said Gilbert.
Navi flitted over to her face and inspected her. "This isn't normal," she said, "Nicole wouldn't fall asleep at 8:45pm."
"THAT'S RIGHT!!!" she shrieked, jumping up and glomping the two boys. "I'LL FALL ASLEEP LATER!! IT'S TOO EARLY!!"
"ACK!! WE TOLD YOU!!!" the boys yelled at the fairy. She sweatdropped.
"Whoops!"
Nicole got off them and grinned slyly. "You guys were planning to go somewhere without me, huh?"
Brian and Gilbert looked at each other nervously. "Oh! No! No! Of course not! We're just going to a guy's night out!"
"o.O Guy's night out?" They both nodded vigorously. "Then you're taking Link, right?"
"... Uh... yeah! Link too!" added Brian.
"Of course! Link! He's a guy too!" Gilbert said.
"... Are you sure about that?" Navi asked. Everyone inched away from her.
"Okay! Hope you guys have a good time!" Nicole smiled at them, walked to her bed and sat down. The two boys glanced at each other.
"So you'll just let us go?" Brian asked. Nicole nodded.
"Won't you ask if you'd like to come along?" Gilbert said.
Nicole shook her head. "Nah. It's a 'Guy's Night Out' thing. Anyways, you guys haven't been doing much lately together."
"Oh! Thanks!"
"Wait!"
"What?" they both asked.
"Be here before midnight. We want to get a lot of sleep tonight for the fight tomorrow against Ganondork." They both nodded and sped out the door and into the other room.
Nicole sighed. "I'm alooooone!"
-
Other room...
"And then, we'll get Gilbert to go and kiss you! They'll definitely fall for that!" beamed Hayarpi. Link was staring at them both and was TOTALLY into the conversation.
"Good idea!" giggled Ines. "Now, for you and Brian--"
"HEY!!!" yelled the two boys as they burst into the room. Hayarpi and Ines screamed nervously as they saw them.
Link just looked up. "Hey!" he greeted them. He glanced at the two girls who were making "shh" signals with the fingers. He nodded. "What's up?"
"We're going to a Guy's Night Out thingy!" Gilbert said. He grabbed Link.
"Wha?"
"We're goin' out, Link!" Brian added. The three boys exited the room, exited the house, mounted their horses and rode off, Link following slowly behind since he didn't know what was happening.
Ines and Hayarpi just sat there. "Okay, what just happened?" one of them asked.
Ines shrugged. "Dunno."
Hayarpi suddenly grinned. "OH! MY! GOD! DIDJA SEE BRIAN?! HE WAS HOTT!"
"YEAH! AND GILBERT TOO! OOH, I'D LIKE TO GET MY HANDS ON HIM!"
They both giggled like crazy and continued their chat, forgetting that Nicole was alone in the other room with Navi.
-
Other room...
"I'M ALOOONE!!!" cried Nicole to the ceiling. A piece of it broke off and fell on her. "OUCH!! STUPID CEILING!!" she shook her fist at the ceiling.
Navi sweatdropped and fell over. "Why don't you try hanging with the girls?"
"I've hung around them all my life before this quest, and all they ever talk about is boys, make-up, boys, boys and boys. Not that it's bad, but yanno... and they talk especially Gilbert and Brian."
"Why don't YOU ever talk about boys?"
"I don't wanna talk about my love life! Ines and Hayarpi would probably try to hook me up anyway."
"... Try?"
"Yep."
-
Boys...
All three boys were riding their horses somewhere.
"WHERE ARE WE GOING?!" Link yelled to the guys.
"WE'RE GOIN' TO LAKE HYLIA!" replied Brian.
"Why?"
"Fishin'!" Gilbert said.
"... Why?"
"So we won't be too stressed tomorrow when we get to Ganon's Castle."
"Oh fine."
Soon, they got to Lake Hylia and entered the Fishing Place. (What was it called again?) They spoke to the man standing behind the counter who was scratching his head.
"Hiya! We'd like to fish!" Gilbert said.
"Uh huh, sure. 20 rupees for each of you."
The two earthlings turned to the green-clad Hylian. "Oh Liiiiiiink..."
"What? ... Aw no, I am not paying for you guys!"
"I said NO!"
-
Girls...
Nicole sighed as she listened to Ines and Hayarpi blabber on and on.
"And he was like, "No way! Kayla?! I went out with her!" And I'm like, "Oh god, no you didn't!" and he's like, "Yeah I did! Ask her! Ask her!" Can you believe Danny?!" Hayarpi said in a fast way.
"No, he did not just say that! Did he really?!"
"Yeah!"
"Who's Danny?! And who's Kayla?!" Nicole asked.
"Ah, you don't know them." Ines said.
"Why don't I know them?!"
"Because you don't gossip."
"... Ah." Then she flopped on Link's bed and sighed.
Navi flitted in front of her face. "I see you're enjoying yourself."
Nicole sweatdropped. "Yeah Navi, yes I am."
-
Boys...
Link sat down on the ground and flung his reel out into the pond. "I can't believe I paid for you guys."
The two grinned on either side of him. "Thank you!" Brian laughed.
"Eh. No problem."
Suddenly, Gilbert's rod started jiggling. He jumped up and started reeling it in. "I caught something! I caught something!!" Just then, the thing on the other side of the rod started pulling back on Gilbert. His feet made marks in the ground as he was actually being pulled INTO the pond! "ACK! BRIAN! LINK! HELP!" he screamed, "I don't wanna lose this catch!"
Link and Brian dropped their fishing rods and ran over to Gilbert. Link wrapped his arms around Gil's waist and pulled him. Brian did the same.
"Goddesses! This is one helluva fish!" yelled Link, desperately trying to keep Gilbert on dry ground.
"Hey, I have an idea!" Brian suddenly shouted. "Link, go underwater and see if you can weaken the fish by attacking it a little! Don't kill it though!"
Link nodded and donned his iron boots. "But wait, I don't have my Zora Tunic!"
Brian took out his Zora belt from his dimensional pocket. "Here! And hurry! I'm being dragged in too!"
"Got it!" replied Link, jumping into the pond. He sunk down and starting heading for the direction of where the fish was. He gasped (yep, he gasped underwater!) and stared at the size of the fish.
It was huge! At least the size of a truck! Link pulled out his longshot, aimed at the fish and it struck it right on the side. He unsheathed his sword underwater (how? i dunno.) and started just smacking the fish with the flat of it. Soon, from the looks of it, the fish looked much weaker than it had before. So, the Hero came swimming back to the surface to help his friends reel it in.
This time, Link and Brian took hold of the rod also, helping Gilbert pull/reel the fish onto dry land. As soon as it was on the ground, all three men dog-piled it, preventing it from flopping back into the waters.
The man who owned the Fishing Place gawked. "THAT IS ONE HUUUUUGE FISH, DUDES!" he said. The three nodded happily. "You've got the new record! Although I do not have a tank large enough for that one, you'll have to release it in Lake Hylia!"
"... Can't we keep it?" Brian asked.
"No!"
"Aww!"
"Anyway, what are your names, boys?"
"I'm Link."
"The name's Brian."
"My name is Gilbert."
The man wrote all three names down on a piece of paper. "And... what exactly do you think is the weight of this fish?"
"We seriously have no idea." the three replied in unison.
"Oh. Now release it in Lake Hylia!"
"But there's no water in Lake Hylia!" said Link.
"Yeah there is, we restored it," Brian reminded. Link 'oh'-ed.
The man blinked. "On second thought, bring it to the Lake Scientist!"
"Why?"
"JUST DO IT!"
"OKAY, OKAY!"
The three men returned their rods and after 30 minutes were able to push the fish out of the door. They tied ropes to it and dragged it to the Lake Laboratory. They sighed tiredly as they stopped at the door to the small house. Link peeked inside. "Uh, hello?"
"Yeeeesh?" asked the Lake Scientist. (Let's call him LS for now.)
"Um, hi! My name's Link. My friends and I have caught a really huge fish at the Fishing Pond. The owner of the pond didn't have a tank large enough for it so he told us to bring it here instead."
"Hmmm... where is this... fish you speak of?" Link opened the door all the way, revealing the truck-sized fish right outside. LS's eyes widened. "Ooooaaah! That is not a fish! That is a shark! A very big one!"
"WHOA!! WE CAUGHT A SHARK!" Link, Gilbert, and Brian yelled, high-fiving each other.
LS gestured for them to bring the shark in the laboratory.
-
30 minutes later...
"ACK!!" they all shouted. The shark was finally able to fit through the door of the house. It was lying right next to all LS's experiments on the table and was taking up almost all the floor space.
"Thank you, boys!" said LS.
"What are you going to do with it?" asked Link.
"I'll put it in a cage at the bottom of the water thing there." he pointed at the water thing there.
"Do you need some help?" Gilbert asked.
"No."
Brian scratched his head. "But it's a pretty huge shark!"
"That's okay."
"All right..." Brian sighed. The three men waved at LS and said their goodbyes before exiting the house and closing the door.
-
Right before they mounted their horses, Link spoke up. "Oh wait! I left my sword and shield in there!"
"Why is it in there in the first place?" Gil asked.
"I removed it while trying to shove the shark in the house."
"Oooooh."
"Be right back!" Link walked over the door of the house and opened it. His eyes widened. The shark on the floor was gone. Totally GONE. He looked to LS, pointing at the empty space... "Where... where is it...?"
"It's in the cage." LS replied.
Link's mouth dropped open. He ran to the water and looked down; sure enough he could hear the shark banging on the metal. He eyed LS. "WHAT?! HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?! YOU WERE ABLE TO GET THAT HUGE SHARK INTO THE CAGE UNDERWATER IN ABOUT--" he looked at his watch, "2 MINUTES?! BY YOURSELF?! HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?!"
LS gave the Hero of Time a toothy grin. "Hyrule is a mysterious land..."
"o.O;;" Link slowly went over to the corner where his equipment was stashed. Then, he stealthily put it on and headed for the door quietly. Before exiting, he glanced over his shoulder at LS.
Just then, LS came sprinting up to him with a can. "A CAN OF WORMS! A CAN OF WORMS! EAT IT! EEEEEAAATTTT!!"
"AAAIIIEEEEEEE!" Link screamed like a little girl and bolted out of the door. LS grinned and walked slowly to his corner and stuffed a worm in his mouth. "Can of worms. Mmm."
-
"AAAAAIIIIIEEEEE!!" shrieked Link, coming out of the house.
Brian and Gilbert were already mounted on their horses and looked behind them to see Link. The hero jumped right on Epona, kicked her sides, and the red-brown horse bolted off in Lon Lon Ranch's direction. Gilbert and Brian followed with no questions asked.
-
Girls...
"OH GOD! OH GOD NO! GET AWAY! EVVILLL!" Nicole yelled. She struggled, but to no avail. Hayarpi made sure the ropes around her wrists were tight. Ines made sure the ropes around her ankles were tight too.
"WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING TO ME?! AAAAHHH! AAAHHHHH! LINK! BRIAN!! GILBERT!! HELP MEEEE!" Nicole screeched again. "NAVI! NAVI!! HEEELP!"
"I can't, Nicole!" Navi sighed. She was tied to the bed pole.
"Oh Nic, it won't be so bad!" Ines said, reaching into a purse.
"NO! NO!!"
Hayarpi uncapped some lipstick. "We'll give you a makeover and you'll like it!"
"Do I even NEED a makeover?!"
"No, but we're bored."
"IF YOU'RE BORED, DO SOMETHING ELSE THEN MAKEOVER ME! MAKEOVER NAVI!"
Ines giggled. "We can barely see her face, silly!"
"I DON'T CARE!!"
-
Boys...
The three men reached Lon Lon Ranch at 10:35pm.
"That was fun!" laughed Link.
"Yeah, especially when LS ate a worm!" Brian said. Gilbert and Link stared at him. "What?"
"LS did what?!"
"He ate a worm. Didn't you see?"
"I was too busy running for my dear life," commented Link.
"I wasn't paying attention." Gilbert sighed. The three were already in the house and was climbing the stairs upstairs. Suddenly, they heard a familiar shriek. All three unsheathed their sword and shields, and Link led them to the source of the scream. He bust open the door.
"What happened?! What happened?!" Link yelled, looking around frantically. Brian and Gilbert were doing the same. In front of them was a chair with a girl tied to it, not facing them. In front of the girl were Ines and Hayarpi, grinning widely. They looked up at the guys.
"Oh hi!" Hayarpi said flirtatiously, looking at Brian. He blushed a little.
"Hey Gil." Ines winked. Gilbert also blushed.
Link sweatdropped. "We heard a scream. What happened?"
"AAAAAIIIIIIIIIEEEEEE!" screamed the girl in the chair. "OH NO! NONONONONONO!!" she paused as she heard the blond's voice. "LINK? IS THAT YOU?! LINK! OH MY GOD, HELP ME LINK!! GET THAT LIPSTICK AWAY FROM ME! AAAHHH!! NO! NOT THE BLUSH! NOT THE BLUSH!!! AAAAIIIIIEEEE!"
Link backed away a few steps. "What the?!"
"We're giving Nicole a makeover." Hayarpi said, applying the blush. Nicole screamed again.
"She doesn't need a makeover!"
Ines sighed. "We know. But we were bored!"
"Then why didn't you makeover Navi?" asked the hero. Then he looked around. "Hey, where is Navi?"
"Link! Untie me!" piped up a voice from the bed pole. Link walked over, bent down and saw Navi tied to his bed pole with a small piece of fabric. The hero sweatdropped then easily undid the knot. The blue fairy flew up and stretched her wings.
"Phew! Thanks!"
"No problem."
"AAAAHHHHHHHH!!" Nicole continued screaming. The three men snickered. "AAAIIEEE!! NO!! NO MASCARA! NO!! EEEVIL!!"
"There we go!" Ines said, looking at her finished product.
Hayarpi was doing the same. "You look great!" she giggled. "Take a look for yourself." She held up a mirror in front of the tied-up warrior.
Nicole gasped at her reflection. "I... I..."
Link walked over and also peered into the mirror at her. "Wow. It's not that bad, actually! You look pretty!"
"I... I..."
There was an awkward silence.
"... AAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!" she shrieked. The mirror shattered and Link covered his Hylian ears again. Everybody else stared at Nicole who was struggling crazily to get out of the ropes and the chair.
"TAKE IT OFF!! TAKE IT OFF!! TAKE!! IT!!! OFFFF!!" she yelled. Malon burst into the room.
"What the heck is going on in here?!" she screamed. Then she noticed Nicole and her make-up. "Nicole, you look pretty!"
She blinked. "AAAAAIIIIIIIIEEEE!!" was her only response.
A sweatdrop appeared on Malon's head. "Oookaaay... anyways, you guys, it's a little past 11pm. If you're gonna go see Ganondorf tomorrow, you'd better get some rest!"
"All right." replied Brian. Malon then left. He and Gilbert headed into the other room while Link stayed in the room with the girls. Ines and Hayarpi finally cut the ropes on the chair with their swords. Nicole bolted out of the chair and out of the room, slamming the door to her room with the boys, Navi following.
"She doesn't like make-up, does she?" Link asked. The girls shook their heads.
"Not one bit."
"Okay, let's get to sleep then."
"All right."
Ines, Hayarpi, and Link all changed into their jammies, then climbed into each of their beds. Then they turned off the light and said their goodnights. (Hey! That rhymed! )
"Goodnight Ines."
"Goodnight Link."
"Goodnight Hayarpi."
"Goodnight Link."
"Goodnight Ines."
"Goodnight Hayarpi.
"Goodnight Link."
"Goodnight Ines."
"... Goodnight."
-
"IT! WON'T! GET! OFF!!" cried Nicole from the bathroom, washing her face madly with the soap. Navi looked up at her, an eyebrow raised.
"There's still some mascara on your eyes." she said. Nicole had her eyes closed and was wiping soap everywhere on her face.
"Is it still there?"
"Sorta."
"Ugh! It won't get off!"
"It'll get off," said Gilbert, lying down on his bed.
"What if it doesn't?!"
Brian snickered. "Then you'll have to face Ganondorf looking like that."
"AAAIIEEEEE!"
-
Soon enough, all 7 heroes and heroines finally fell asleep at about 11:30pm. A miracle, isn't it? And yes, Nicole got the make-up off.
-
The Next (Early) Morning...
"Epona! Epona! Soba ni oide! Futari de ireba sabishiku nan ka nai!" sang Malon to the tune of Epona's song. She was preparing pancakes, eggs, and bacon for breakfast.
Link came wobbling down the stairs, scratching his blond hair. His hat was still in the bedroom. "Hi... (yawn) Malon..." he said sleepily, flopping onto one of the chairs.
"Good morning to you too, Link." replied the ranch girl, putting another pancake on one of the plates.
The rest of the heroes came sleepily down the stairs. All of 'em sat down on the table around Link.
"Here!" said Malon, putting down the last slice of bacon on the table. "Eat up!"
Everyone began to dig in. At about 6:30am, they finished eating. (Heh, guess what time they woke up?) They all took a quick shower and put on their swords and shields.
-
7:45am...
"Well," Link said, mounting Epona. "Thanks Malon. For everything."
She smiled back at Link. "No problem. Good luck. And may you defeat the King of Evil once and for all! If you do, I'll have a party."
"WOO HOO!" everyone yelled.
"Bye Malon! Thanks!" Navi said as Link and the others rode away in the direction of the Market.
------
Wow. That was long. And not even funny. (sweatdrop)
Niagra/Link: Wowies.
The next chapter! OMG! It's almost done!
Link: Why didn't you make THIS chapter the last chapter?
Niagra: You were stalling, weren't you?
... Yes, I was stalling. (I can't believe it's almost over!)
Niagra/Link: (falls over)
But the last chapter is the next one! I think! Or maybe there might be a chapter after that... but I dunno.
Stay tuned, everybody!
- L-Gurl