This is very very depressing, at least in my opinion, the theme is bad. NEVER EVER EVER try to commit suicide, it isn't a good idea. Someone always cares, if worst comes to worst, I care because that means you won't read this:) Seriously though, if you feel like this, get help. I am in no way encouraging this, I felt the need to write a ch. dealing with darker parts of the human soul. thanks
Short, but not sweet
If you are of a weaker constitution, don't read this, basically it is Ayanes suicide, or attempt? It is just more detailed then that.
Well, here we go again...
If any one is Hindu, I did not mean to offend, I was simply fascinated by your mythology.....
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Shiva
In huinduism the God shiva is the god of distruction. He is not feared, like satin is in the west, but rather he is revered. Some have found it strange, why worship a being that leaves in it's wake only distruction, suffring and death? The reson is only through these things can rebirth occure, only through pain, can we leartn who we are, a sword must be put into the fire, befor it is stronger. In the words of the red hot chilli pepers, 'distruction leads to a very rouff road, but it also brings creation...'
In truth, suicide is not some richal for punioshment. It is not some last ditch cry for attention. It is simply a way out. People who do it feel the need to protect who they are, in a twistedn way, it is an act of self presevation, a last chance at escaping, the finel cry to some apithetic god.
Ayane needed to sleep, that was all she knew now. She wanted to sleep forever, to live in the land of dreams where life weas not so hard, where love was just a step away. Perhaps it was her fituge, or the fact that she couldn't think clearly, but she wanted more then anything, for the pain to stop:
Hayate had run off into the woods, and Vic had just staired after him. They all questioned him, and were in awe of him, but she hated him, she hated him for helping Her, she hated him for embaressing her love, but, most of all, she hated him because when Kasumi was with him, you could see Her pain melt away. Ayane had gone in after Hayate, into the heart of the storm. She wanted to comfort him, merely to see him woulkd be enouf. She found him and...
She shook her head vishously, trying to forget, trying to forget everything, and somehow feeling better. She looked around for the first time. She was balled up of the floor of the bathroom. To her right was the shower, to her left, the shattered mirror, she could no longer stand to look at herself. Laying all over the floor, almost like snowflakes, were broken peaces of the glass. She looked at her fist, it was bleedin g from the punch she had delivered, and in it she grasped her escape, her only way out.
It had become a beautiful day, almost as if fate herself was laughing, mocking her. She hated the sun, and the happy birds, let the only truth, the truth of nothingness, envolpe the world and her. Let it have her very soul, in exchange for the timeless slep of a child:
" I am scared though" Ayanes meek voice protested. She was about six and was sitting at the room in her step fathers house. She had lived there for almost a year. Ever scene she was little, she was veiwed as a discrase, a burden to her parents, a constant reminder of their sin and infideltity. She was shun by the community, but was to young to understand. Then her parents had died.
Of course people were more then willing to take in Kasumi, but she was alone. She was expled from the villege, unofficaliy. She wandered around aimlessly and, evenchually, some kinder deity took pity on her and guided her to her step fathers villege. Her father found her, passed out from a heavy soul and took her in. He didn't care about who she had been, who her parents were, he only cared for her. In time she would grow strong, she would set out to prove herself, not to her father, but to herself. She would kill anyone who tried to hurt her, she could controll her own destine, with her own hands.
" Ayane, there is nothing to be scared of, there is nothing bad here." This was her fathers voice, it had that smae indiscribable quolity that all fathers voices' have. It was filled with loving consern..
" I don't want to go asleep, because you will be gone when I wake up" She said, nearing histarics now.
" Don't be silly," He said kindly, lovingly, " I will never leave you, I will always be with you." She had been like this scene the day he found her. It was as if kindness was such a forenien consept, that she could only beleave it in a dream, that the second she closed her eyes, she would wake into the depths of hell.
He looked at her, his silly little Ayane, and was filled with saddness. 'What had she gone througn' he thought. " Alright, how about we keep eachother compone then, would that be all right?" he asked.
She nodded her head, and he crossed the room. He sat down next to her, and she evenchally feel into a deep and peaceful sleep. Then he would quietly leave, promesing silently to always be with this poor creature.
" But your not here now" She said into the room, with a voice so remorsful that even in hell, people weeped for her. " And it's all my fult". At that the instrument of freedom went over her wrist.
A strange thing happened. As the blood driped out, so did everything else. Her worries, her cares, they all left, and, for the first time, she could her the beauty of the birds sone, and, slowly, she passed into a deep sleep...
______________________________________________________________________________
Short, but not sweet
If you are of a weaker constitution, don't read this, basically it is Ayanes suicide, or attempt? It is just more detailed then that.
Well, here we go again...
If any one is Hindu, I did not mean to offend, I was simply fascinated by your mythology.....
______________________________________________________________________________
Shiva
In huinduism the God shiva is the god of distruction. He is not feared, like satin is in the west, but rather he is revered. Some have found it strange, why worship a being that leaves in it's wake only distruction, suffring and death? The reson is only through these things can rebirth occure, only through pain, can we leartn who we are, a sword must be put into the fire, befor it is stronger. In the words of the red hot chilli pepers, 'distruction leads to a very rouff road, but it also brings creation...'
In truth, suicide is not some richal for punioshment. It is not some last ditch cry for attention. It is simply a way out. People who do it feel the need to protect who they are, in a twistedn way, it is an act of self presevation, a last chance at escaping, the finel cry to some apithetic god.
Ayane needed to sleep, that was all she knew now. She wanted to sleep forever, to live in the land of dreams where life weas not so hard, where love was just a step away. Perhaps it was her fituge, or the fact that she couldn't think clearly, but she wanted more then anything, for the pain to stop:
Hayate had run off into the woods, and Vic had just staired after him. They all questioned him, and were in awe of him, but she hated him, she hated him for helping Her, she hated him for embaressing her love, but, most of all, she hated him because when Kasumi was with him, you could see Her pain melt away. Ayane had gone in after Hayate, into the heart of the storm. She wanted to comfort him, merely to see him woulkd be enouf. She found him and...
She shook her head vishously, trying to forget, trying to forget everything, and somehow feeling better. She looked around for the first time. She was balled up of the floor of the bathroom. To her right was the shower, to her left, the shattered mirror, she could no longer stand to look at herself. Laying all over the floor, almost like snowflakes, were broken peaces of the glass. She looked at her fist, it was bleedin g from the punch she had delivered, and in it she grasped her escape, her only way out.
It had become a beautiful day, almost as if fate herself was laughing, mocking her. She hated the sun, and the happy birds, let the only truth, the truth of nothingness, envolpe the world and her. Let it have her very soul, in exchange for the timeless slep of a child:
" I am scared though" Ayanes meek voice protested. She was about six and was sitting at the room in her step fathers house. She had lived there for almost a year. Ever scene she was little, she was veiwed as a discrase, a burden to her parents, a constant reminder of their sin and infideltity. She was shun by the community, but was to young to understand. Then her parents had died.
Of course people were more then willing to take in Kasumi, but she was alone. She was expled from the villege, unofficaliy. She wandered around aimlessly and, evenchually, some kinder deity took pity on her and guided her to her step fathers villege. Her father found her, passed out from a heavy soul and took her in. He didn't care about who she had been, who her parents were, he only cared for her. In time she would grow strong, she would set out to prove herself, not to her father, but to herself. She would kill anyone who tried to hurt her, she could controll her own destine, with her own hands.
" Ayane, there is nothing to be scared of, there is nothing bad here." This was her fathers voice, it had that smae indiscribable quolity that all fathers voices' have. It was filled with loving consern..
" I don't want to go asleep, because you will be gone when I wake up" She said, nearing histarics now.
" Don't be silly," He said kindly, lovingly, " I will never leave you, I will always be with you." She had been like this scene the day he found her. It was as if kindness was such a forenien consept, that she could only beleave it in a dream, that the second she closed her eyes, she would wake into the depths of hell.
He looked at her, his silly little Ayane, and was filled with saddness. 'What had she gone througn' he thought. " Alright, how about we keep eachother compone then, would that be all right?" he asked.
She nodded her head, and he crossed the room. He sat down next to her, and she evenchally feel into a deep and peaceful sleep. Then he would quietly leave, promesing silently to always be with this poor creature.
" But your not here now" She said into the room, with a voice so remorsful that even in hell, people weeped for her. " And it's all my fult". At that the instrument of freedom went over her wrist.
A strange thing happened. As the blood driped out, so did everything else. Her worries, her cares, they all left, and, for the first time, she could her the beauty of the birds sone, and, slowly, she passed into a deep sleep...
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