A/N: OMG! how long has it been? the poor ungodly story that never had a
chance... no longer has a chance! lol :) either way, I'm gonna add another
chapter for the heck of it, so if there are any die hard fans out there
*sees a room full of empty chairs... and a tumbleweed goes by*
umm... well its here if you wanna read it neway!
Disclaimer: My "ownership" of FF7 is like Pizza. It looks good, It tastes good... but it's sure to give me indigestion once the lawsuit kicks in. Same goes for Smokey the bear.
******************************************************************
Author: and here we are! back safe and sound on the highwind!
Vincent: well... we are certainly on the Highwind.. but I dont think we are so safe and sound anymore..
Author: *looks at Cid and Cloud* oh god! they're waking up! what do we do????
Vincent:....quick! over to the shadowy place!
Author and Vincent: *morphs into the shadows..by vincent's magic morphing powder! yeah!*
*Cloud and Cid both wake up from their unconciousness... remarkably, at the exact same time*
Cid: holy balogna! its that leader guy.. with the hair, and the purple.. and the...the.. gayness man!
Cloud: oh my god! u look just like me!
Cid: what?!?!? if ur saying I'm gay..
Cloud: Me? gay? Cid's not gay! I'm Cid! just look at this manly scruff!! and these cute little goggle thingys that I wear even though I'm inside! INSIDE!
Cid: You're not Cid! I'm Cid!
Cloud: You're such a silly bear! I'm Cid!
Cid: F*^"&! I'M CID!
Cloud: NO I'M CID
Cid: I'M CID
*the "Cids" keep arguing..*
Vincent: get ready! REMORPH!
*Vincent and the Author remorph from the shadows*
Author:...well, thats gonna keep them entertained for a while.
Vincent: awww.. they're gonna sleep good tonight!
Author: *gives Vincent a weird look*
Vincent: yeahhh, what you said.
Author: so where do you want to go now??
Vincent: do you know what I really want to do?
Author: ooh! What?
Vincent: get revenge on that wrinkly bastard Hojo!
Author: yeahh... well there's this thing about that.... he kinda.. well he died. remember? actually, you killed him.
Vincent: oh yeah.......... *smiles* good times... but I still want more revenge. you can never really have too much revenge.
Author: true, true.......OH! I know! lets crash Shinra, clone Hojo, and then kill him again! and as many times as you'd like! OMG! we could make a cloning/killing machine!
Vincent: uh.... lets just crash Shinra.
Author: alrightt, but you dont know what you're missing!
****the Highwind arrives at the Shinra builing... rather IN the building****
Author: now thats what I call a crash course into evil! ha ha ha... *wipes away tear* oh, good one kimmie.
Vincent: please stop.
Author:.... OMG they're escaping!
Cloud: I'm on fire! I'm on fire!
Cid: stop drop and roll idiot! didn't you ever listen to Smoky the Bear?.. heh heh... thats me! Smoky the Bear! hahahaha!
Author: Stand still so I can extinguish you! *uses fire extinguisher on cloud causing the whole room to go up in smoke*
Cid: WOAH MAN! Smoky the Bear is in the smoke! its smoky the bears paradise! woooooo!
Author: oh dear god... lets get out of here.
*Author and Vincent walk up the Shinra halls, carefull not to be seen.*
Vincent: ITS HIM! ITS THE GUY THAT CUT OFF MY ARM!
Author: What?? Where?? He's back!? Thats impossible, you killed him!
Vincent: Lies! One of such evil could never be destroyed!
Author: wait..... Hojo isnt here.... Vincent, did you indulge in a little of Cid's 'special' meds?
Vincent: No! such a vile evil could never be Hojo!
Author: Hojo Jr? ..eww... I dont think people like that should have the right the produce offspring..
Vincent: actually he wasnt, we signed a contract and everything
Author: oh really? how interesting... but in the meantime, who else could it be?
Vincent: ohh my dear, not so much as who....but what?
Author: ...what?
Vincent: THAT! *points finger*
Author: Jimmy Jo-Jo the fun loving monkey? NO!
Vincent: no, not him, that!
Author: ...the vending machine... ?(- DEDICATED TO SCURVY KAT! lol, such a funny idea! i appraise you!) you lost your arm in a vending machine?????
Vincent: still think loosing a dollar is worth loosing your hand? That's right! It's not! learn from my mistakes!
*just as the author was about to make fun of Vincent for going against the unwritten rule of vending machinnes everywhere, 'smoky the bear' and 'spikey headed moron' appear in a frenzy*
author: quick! hide!
* Vincent and author morph into the vending machine*
(Vincent: hey! my arm!)
Cloud: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHH! *takes deep breath* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! *runs into the hallway*
Cid: I SAID: LEARN NOT TO BURN! LEARN DAMMIT!
Reno: whats all the commotion out here?
Cid: hey! it's that guy! with the hair, and the booze... and the.. the.. the BOOZE! nice to meet you. my name is Smokey the Bear.... can I have some of your smokey BEER! hahaahahah
Reno: no. all the smokey beer is mine. though I CAN give you a free passage down pain ville, with a few stops at imgoingtokillyou.
Cid: free huh..... hmmm, let me think about that one
Rude: hey Reno man! You gotta see this!
Reno: *sigh* what is it NOW Rude? you've been talking my ear off all day
Rude: I finally got it! I got the hair transplant! look! a full head of hair, and its all my own! finally! no more being called Kojack or Mr Clean! I'm in heaven!
Reno: *slaps cheek dramatically* looking good Rude! this calls for a celebration! Drinks all around!
Cloud: *clamps on to rudes leg and starts "acting like a dog"* Hair! lots of hair! Just like Cloud! heheheheheh!
Rude: ew! get it off! Reno help its touching me!
Reno: Here boy! *whistles* come over boy!
Cloud: *barks happily and runs to Reno*
Reno: good boy! *kicks him knocking him out* ...freak.
Rude: AHHHH! theres something on me! *apparently lice is very catchy, especially Clouds super-radioactive lice, which proceeds to devoir all the hair on rudes head* NOOOOOOOOO!
Reno: hahaahaha *points at Rude while holding his stomach*
Cloud: *has an invulnary twitch and smacks Reno in the side of the head*
Reno: ow! he's unconcious! what the hell?
Cid: I've thought about your deal, and I'm going to have to decline. the only place this smokey bear wants to travel is to the forest, to teach the boyscouts about fire!
Reno: are you still here?
Vincent: he's not the only one thats here
Reno: what the? the vending machine is talking! Rude! you were right! it is cursed! with the arm of Vincent!
Rude: lets get out of here!
*Reno and Rude run off like scared little girls*
*the author and Vincent demorph*
Vincent: it was horrible! I become the thing I hated the most! damn you irrisisstable sparkiling soda! This war isn't over yet!
********************************************************************
Will Rude ever recover from his tramatizing experience? What happened to renos offer of drinks all around? What other diseases will we find out that Cloud has? Has Vincent finally cracked? FIND OUT AND MORE IN THE NEXT CHAPTER OF RETURN OF THE MADNESS!
Disclaimer: My "ownership" of FF7 is like Pizza. It looks good, It tastes good... but it's sure to give me indigestion once the lawsuit kicks in. Same goes for Smokey the bear.
******************************************************************
Author: and here we are! back safe and sound on the highwind!
Vincent: well... we are certainly on the Highwind.. but I dont think we are so safe and sound anymore..
Author: *looks at Cid and Cloud* oh god! they're waking up! what do we do????
Vincent:....quick! over to the shadowy place!
Author and Vincent: *morphs into the shadows..by vincent's magic morphing powder! yeah!*
*Cloud and Cid both wake up from their unconciousness... remarkably, at the exact same time*
Cid: holy balogna! its that leader guy.. with the hair, and the purple.. and the...the.. gayness man!
Cloud: oh my god! u look just like me!
Cid: what?!?!? if ur saying I'm gay..
Cloud: Me? gay? Cid's not gay! I'm Cid! just look at this manly scruff!! and these cute little goggle thingys that I wear even though I'm inside! INSIDE!
Cid: You're not Cid! I'm Cid!
Cloud: You're such a silly bear! I'm Cid!
Cid: F*^"&! I'M CID!
Cloud: NO I'M CID
Cid: I'M CID
*the "Cids" keep arguing..*
Vincent: get ready! REMORPH!
*Vincent and the Author remorph from the shadows*
Author:...well, thats gonna keep them entertained for a while.
Vincent: awww.. they're gonna sleep good tonight!
Author: *gives Vincent a weird look*
Vincent: yeahhh, what you said.
Author: so where do you want to go now??
Vincent: do you know what I really want to do?
Author: ooh! What?
Vincent: get revenge on that wrinkly bastard Hojo!
Author: yeahh... well there's this thing about that.... he kinda.. well he died. remember? actually, you killed him.
Vincent: oh yeah.......... *smiles* good times... but I still want more revenge. you can never really have too much revenge.
Author: true, true.......OH! I know! lets crash Shinra, clone Hojo, and then kill him again! and as many times as you'd like! OMG! we could make a cloning/killing machine!
Vincent: uh.... lets just crash Shinra.
Author: alrightt, but you dont know what you're missing!
****the Highwind arrives at the Shinra builing... rather IN the building****
Author: now thats what I call a crash course into evil! ha ha ha... *wipes away tear* oh, good one kimmie.
Vincent: please stop.
Author:.... OMG they're escaping!
Cloud: I'm on fire! I'm on fire!
Cid: stop drop and roll idiot! didn't you ever listen to Smoky the Bear?.. heh heh... thats me! Smoky the Bear! hahahaha!
Author: Stand still so I can extinguish you! *uses fire extinguisher on cloud causing the whole room to go up in smoke*
Cid: WOAH MAN! Smoky the Bear is in the smoke! its smoky the bears paradise! woooooo!
Author: oh dear god... lets get out of here.
*Author and Vincent walk up the Shinra halls, carefull not to be seen.*
Vincent: ITS HIM! ITS THE GUY THAT CUT OFF MY ARM!
Author: What?? Where?? He's back!? Thats impossible, you killed him!
Vincent: Lies! One of such evil could never be destroyed!
Author: wait..... Hojo isnt here.... Vincent, did you indulge in a little of Cid's 'special' meds?
Vincent: No! such a vile evil could never be Hojo!
Author: Hojo Jr? ..eww... I dont think people like that should have the right the produce offspring..
Vincent: actually he wasnt, we signed a contract and everything
Author: oh really? how interesting... but in the meantime, who else could it be?
Vincent: ohh my dear, not so much as who....but what?
Author: ...what?
Vincent: THAT! *points finger*
Author: Jimmy Jo-Jo the fun loving monkey? NO!
Vincent: no, not him, that!
Author: ...the vending machine... ?(- DEDICATED TO SCURVY KAT! lol, such a funny idea! i appraise you!) you lost your arm in a vending machine?????
Vincent: still think loosing a dollar is worth loosing your hand? That's right! It's not! learn from my mistakes!
*just as the author was about to make fun of Vincent for going against the unwritten rule of vending machinnes everywhere, 'smoky the bear' and 'spikey headed moron' appear in a frenzy*
author: quick! hide!
* Vincent and author morph into the vending machine*
(Vincent: hey! my arm!)
Cloud: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHH! *takes deep breath* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! *runs into the hallway*
Cid: I SAID: LEARN NOT TO BURN! LEARN DAMMIT!
Reno: whats all the commotion out here?
Cid: hey! it's that guy! with the hair, and the booze... and the.. the.. the BOOZE! nice to meet you. my name is Smokey the Bear.... can I have some of your smokey BEER! hahaahahah
Reno: no. all the smokey beer is mine. though I CAN give you a free passage down pain ville, with a few stops at imgoingtokillyou.
Cid: free huh..... hmmm, let me think about that one
Rude: hey Reno man! You gotta see this!
Reno: *sigh* what is it NOW Rude? you've been talking my ear off all day
Rude: I finally got it! I got the hair transplant! look! a full head of hair, and its all my own! finally! no more being called Kojack or Mr Clean! I'm in heaven!
Reno: *slaps cheek dramatically* looking good Rude! this calls for a celebration! Drinks all around!
Cloud: *clamps on to rudes leg and starts "acting like a dog"* Hair! lots of hair! Just like Cloud! heheheheheh!
Rude: ew! get it off! Reno help its touching me!
Reno: Here boy! *whistles* come over boy!
Cloud: *barks happily and runs to Reno*
Reno: good boy! *kicks him knocking him out* ...freak.
Rude: AHHHH! theres something on me! *apparently lice is very catchy, especially Clouds super-radioactive lice, which proceeds to devoir all the hair on rudes head* NOOOOOOOOO!
Reno: hahaahaha *points at Rude while holding his stomach*
Cloud: *has an invulnary twitch and smacks Reno in the side of the head*
Reno: ow! he's unconcious! what the hell?
Cid: I've thought about your deal, and I'm going to have to decline. the only place this smokey bear wants to travel is to the forest, to teach the boyscouts about fire!
Reno: are you still here?
Vincent: he's not the only one thats here
Reno: what the? the vending machine is talking! Rude! you were right! it is cursed! with the arm of Vincent!
Rude: lets get out of here!
*Reno and Rude run off like scared little girls*
*the author and Vincent demorph*
Vincent: it was horrible! I become the thing I hated the most! damn you irrisisstable sparkiling soda! This war isn't over yet!
********************************************************************
Will Rude ever recover from his tramatizing experience? What happened to renos offer of drinks all around? What other diseases will we find out that Cloud has? Has Vincent finally cracked? FIND OUT AND MORE IN THE NEXT CHAPTER OF RETURN OF THE MADNESS!