disclaimer: My "Ownership" of FF7 is like my cat: Fluffy and cute, but
having the potential to cough up some major mess that I wouldn't want to
clean up.
A/n: so i finally decided that i wanted to finish this story.. because its begging for an ending.. and plus no one seems interested anymore, because I hardly get any reviews *cough* So lets go out with a bang! boy howdy! yeeeee hawww!! ....................
*******************************************************************
Intercom: attention Vincent, Author who I dont know thier name, Cloud and Cid. report to room 109 for lots of punishment and pain and death and BURNING AND SLAPPING AND BITING AND STABBING AN- (psst-get the hell on with it) *whispering* -shut up, this is my MOMENT!- (I dont give a rats ass, I cloned you so you're gonna do what I say) you're telling the plot! (no YOU ARE, gimmie that!) no! its my microphone! (BAHHH) *lots of static and hitting and the intercom buzzes off*
Vincent: that was odd..
Cloud: NO MORE BITING!! AHHHHHHH!!
Author: how come he doesnt know my name... *sniff* *bawls*
Cid: Smokey the Bear knows when to exit! exiting now!
Vincent: waiiittt a minute. lets just leave. Smokey the Bear has a point. I'm in no mood to be bitten . *I* do the biting around here.
Author: *looks at Vincent strangely* did you just say what I thought you said?
Vincent: ..................OMG! look over there!
* shinra soldiers race towords them in every direction*
Author: so, now you're escourting us? I thought this was a walk in appointment! make up your minds!
Soldier: just your average... *BUM BUM BUM* DEATH MARCH! bwahahahah ahahaha AH ahaha.. ha.... ha.....
Vincent, Author and Cid: *cowers* death march!? *BUM BUM BUM!*
Cloud: ah hahah ahah u look like a lego man. hahaha
Soldier: .........and you look like a spikey headed moron! NOW MARCH!
*****MEANWHILE******
???: bwahaha! I have created you in the image of the craziest, most nuttiest, and therefore most brilliant scientist Shinra has ever seen!
???:.... then why did you call me Blowjo?
???... because its funnier that way. see, funny. blow-jo hahaahha.
Blowjo: this is a discrace to my image! You will feel my wrath! FEEL IT!
???: *buzzez Blowjo with electro-rod thing* silence Blowjo! let us meet the prisoners! AH ahahahahahahAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA
***********
*As Vincent, Cid, Cloud and the Author get pushed into a pitch black room, suddenly it lights up showing a horrid display!*
Author: oh no! they captured the gang!
*yes, you guessed it, the gang has been captured. Tifa, Barret, Yuffie, Reeve, Nanaki and Aeris are all tied up to chairs. looking pretty scared, mind you. like a bunch of pansies!*
Vincent: Oh no! you're right!....wait, I dont care.
*suddenly two figures appear*
Vincent: *GASP* Hojo! you're alive!
???: thats not Hojo u fool! thats BLOWJO!
Cloud: hey Blowjo, my name is Scarlet *grooowwwwlll* *wink*
Author: who is that? question mark question mark question mark? what kinda name is that??
???: *I* am the one and only... PALMER!
Everyone (including bystanders and Blowjo): AHAHAHAHAAH! Palmer?! the supervillian?!? bahahahaha!
Palmer: SILENCE! the sherade is over! time for you to see the mastermind behind the lard! I had u all fooled! FOOLED I tell ya!
Everyone: *exchanged glances* wha?
Palmer: it was *I* who sent those ducks to attack you...
Cid: THATS NOT A WORM! THATS NOT A WORM! *goes into hysterics*
Palmer: it is *I* who invented the delicious sparkling soda....
Vincent: *colapses to his knees* NOOOOOOOOO! You inhuman monster!
Palmer: ... I didnt really have to do anything with you, you were kinda naturally cracked
Cloud: blah haheheh Oh Palmy! come to mama Scarlet you big cream puff
Palmer: ........I cloned you and named you Blowjo. i think thats enuff for destroying your dignity
Blowjo: wait.... Blowjo...haha, I think im getting it, hahaha....waittttt thats my NAME?!
Author:... well, I'm not convinced, you're still a tub o lard in my eyes. hardly a supervillian... and Triple Q?! is that the best you could come up with???
Palmer: ohhhh, no. your's was my ultimate act of evil. For it was *I* who made no one give you reviews! bwahahahaah I poluted your stories with meaningless dribble that no one wants to read!! bwhahahaha! and you suck!! hahahaha
Author:.....thats it? well guess what?! YOUR FAT.
Palmer: THIS! this is why you all must pay! can't you all get it through your pee-brains that I'm just misunderstood! Just because I am slightly obease-
Cloud: you're like a big soft muffin!
Palmer: -.....slightly obease, you think you can lower me?! hit me with trucks! only show the scenes where I am eating lard and being stupid?! They were cuts! they shouldnt have ever been aired! now you all will pay! willlll paayyyyyyy! Blowjo! get me my Notebook!
Blowjo: Yessss heh heh heh, the NOTEBOOK! hahahahaah *gives it to Palmer*
Palmer: *mumbles as flipping through pages* lets see...yeah.. mmmhmm... OKEY! I will get my revenge starting with the deaths of your comrades! *walks to the tied up people* Nanaki, you will die by me playing a tape of all your dialouge. Yeah, thats right, I'm gonna bore you to death cuz you're a stupid boring lion-dog-cat-beast thing! bwhahaahahaha!
Nanaki: the planet calls out to me, screaming with the agony of knowledge. It is apparent that I will mesh with the bright liquid of the-
Author: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SHUT HIM UP!
Palmer: Yuffie, you will die by Blowjo throwing materia orbs at you constantly until you die. IRONY! don't you see it?!
Yuffie: do I get to keep the ones I catch in my mouth?
Palmer:... ahhhh, well seeing that you will die.... no.
Yuffie : *pouts* no fair! I never get to do anything around here!
Palmer: Barrett... ha.. this one is good. you will die by getting run over by a train! cuz you know what they say, THIS TRAIN DONT STOP! hahaha....god I am good.
Barret: You da fattest foo' I ever see! u will pay Shinra fat ass!
Palmer: ... oh haha, quite doutbfull... oh Tifa... U will die, by Scarlet personally slapping you to death.
Tifa: you know, maybe you should try a little tae bo. a little martial arts is good for the flab.
Palmer: SILENCE! Aeris... you will die by... wait a minute, you're already dead...
Aeris:......................*disappears in a POOF! of smoke*
Blowjo: well that makes my job a little easier! ah ahahaha!
Palmer: SHUT UP BLOWJO! only *I* may laugh! *buzzes Blowjo with the thing*
Blowjo: bah!
Palmer: now, and finally, Mr reeve! I will kill you myself for creating Cait Sith! what were you thinking! are you on crack?!
Reeve: My Cait Sith! i havent seen him in oh so long! where is he???
Author: uh... dont you remember?
***FLASHBACK***
Cait Sith: Hey guys! Who wants to play Monopoly?!
Yuffie: *flings her conformer at him*
Everyone: *looks at her strangely*
Yuffie: What? I hate Monopoly! Vincent always cheats!
Vincent: Big talk coming from a theif..
Yuffie: You want a piece of this?!
Vincent: Bring it on
Cait Sith: *short circuts*
*** END FLASHBACK***
Reeve:...oh yeahh...
Palmer: oh... well then if Cait Sith is dead... then I have no beef with you, you are free to go.
Cait Sith #34957439574395: You're in luck! Im a clone of Cait Sith #34957439574394! Back to help you on your tales of -
Vincent: *shoots cait sith point blank* how many times im i going to have to keep doing that???
Reeve: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Palmer: ahahahaah! now! what are you going to do, my not-so-friends?! ...TIE THEM UP BLOWJO!
Author: well, this is just getting interesting.... I wonder what is going to happen...?
****************************************************************** How does Monopoly exist in the FF7 world? Will Cait Sith clone himself and return? More importantly, will Vincent run out of bullets? And how will our hereos escape this dastardly situation? Stay tuned to find out, in the next episode of Return of the Madness!
A/n: so i finally decided that i wanted to finish this story.. because its begging for an ending.. and plus no one seems interested anymore, because I hardly get any reviews *cough* So lets go out with a bang! boy howdy! yeeeee hawww!! ....................
*******************************************************************
Intercom: attention Vincent, Author who I dont know thier name, Cloud and Cid. report to room 109 for lots of punishment and pain and death and BURNING AND SLAPPING AND BITING AND STABBING AN- (psst-get the hell on with it) *whispering* -shut up, this is my MOMENT!- (I dont give a rats ass, I cloned you so you're gonna do what I say) you're telling the plot! (no YOU ARE, gimmie that!) no! its my microphone! (BAHHH) *lots of static and hitting and the intercom buzzes off*
Vincent: that was odd..
Cloud: NO MORE BITING!! AHHHHHHH!!
Author: how come he doesnt know my name... *sniff* *bawls*
Cid: Smokey the Bear knows when to exit! exiting now!
Vincent: waiiittt a minute. lets just leave. Smokey the Bear has a point. I'm in no mood to be bitten . *I* do the biting around here.
Author: *looks at Vincent strangely* did you just say what I thought you said?
Vincent: ..................OMG! look over there!
* shinra soldiers race towords them in every direction*
Author: so, now you're escourting us? I thought this was a walk in appointment! make up your minds!
Soldier: just your average... *BUM BUM BUM* DEATH MARCH! bwahahahah ahahaha AH ahaha.. ha.... ha.....
Vincent, Author and Cid: *cowers* death march!? *BUM BUM BUM!*
Cloud: ah hahah ahah u look like a lego man. hahaha
Soldier: .........and you look like a spikey headed moron! NOW MARCH!
*****MEANWHILE******
???: bwahaha! I have created you in the image of the craziest, most nuttiest, and therefore most brilliant scientist Shinra has ever seen!
???:.... then why did you call me Blowjo?
???... because its funnier that way. see, funny. blow-jo hahaahha.
Blowjo: this is a discrace to my image! You will feel my wrath! FEEL IT!
???: *buzzez Blowjo with electro-rod thing* silence Blowjo! let us meet the prisoners! AH ahahahahahahAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA
***********
*As Vincent, Cid, Cloud and the Author get pushed into a pitch black room, suddenly it lights up showing a horrid display!*
Author: oh no! they captured the gang!
*yes, you guessed it, the gang has been captured. Tifa, Barret, Yuffie, Reeve, Nanaki and Aeris are all tied up to chairs. looking pretty scared, mind you. like a bunch of pansies!*
Vincent: Oh no! you're right!....wait, I dont care.
*suddenly two figures appear*
Vincent: *GASP* Hojo! you're alive!
???: thats not Hojo u fool! thats BLOWJO!
Cloud: hey Blowjo, my name is Scarlet *grooowwwwlll* *wink*
Author: who is that? question mark question mark question mark? what kinda name is that??
???: *I* am the one and only... PALMER!
Everyone (including bystanders and Blowjo): AHAHAHAHAAH! Palmer?! the supervillian?!? bahahahaha!
Palmer: SILENCE! the sherade is over! time for you to see the mastermind behind the lard! I had u all fooled! FOOLED I tell ya!
Everyone: *exchanged glances* wha?
Palmer: it was *I* who sent those ducks to attack you...
Cid: THATS NOT A WORM! THATS NOT A WORM! *goes into hysterics*
Palmer: it is *I* who invented the delicious sparkling soda....
Vincent: *colapses to his knees* NOOOOOOOOO! You inhuman monster!
Palmer: ... I didnt really have to do anything with you, you were kinda naturally cracked
Cloud: blah haheheh Oh Palmy! come to mama Scarlet you big cream puff
Palmer: ........I cloned you and named you Blowjo. i think thats enuff for destroying your dignity
Blowjo: wait.... Blowjo...haha, I think im getting it, hahaha....waittttt thats my NAME?!
Author:... well, I'm not convinced, you're still a tub o lard in my eyes. hardly a supervillian... and Triple Q?! is that the best you could come up with???
Palmer: ohhhh, no. your's was my ultimate act of evil. For it was *I* who made no one give you reviews! bwahahahaah I poluted your stories with meaningless dribble that no one wants to read!! bwhahahaha! and you suck!! hahahaha
Author:.....thats it? well guess what?! YOUR FAT.
Palmer: THIS! this is why you all must pay! can't you all get it through your pee-brains that I'm just misunderstood! Just because I am slightly obease-
Cloud: you're like a big soft muffin!
Palmer: -.....slightly obease, you think you can lower me?! hit me with trucks! only show the scenes where I am eating lard and being stupid?! They were cuts! they shouldnt have ever been aired! now you all will pay! willlll paayyyyyyy! Blowjo! get me my Notebook!
Blowjo: Yessss heh heh heh, the NOTEBOOK! hahahahaah *gives it to Palmer*
Palmer: *mumbles as flipping through pages* lets see...yeah.. mmmhmm... OKEY! I will get my revenge starting with the deaths of your comrades! *walks to the tied up people* Nanaki, you will die by me playing a tape of all your dialouge. Yeah, thats right, I'm gonna bore you to death cuz you're a stupid boring lion-dog-cat-beast thing! bwhahaahahaha!
Nanaki: the planet calls out to me, screaming with the agony of knowledge. It is apparent that I will mesh with the bright liquid of the-
Author: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SHUT HIM UP!
Palmer: Yuffie, you will die by Blowjo throwing materia orbs at you constantly until you die. IRONY! don't you see it?!
Yuffie: do I get to keep the ones I catch in my mouth?
Palmer:... ahhhh, well seeing that you will die.... no.
Yuffie : *pouts* no fair! I never get to do anything around here!
Palmer: Barrett... ha.. this one is good. you will die by getting run over by a train! cuz you know what they say, THIS TRAIN DONT STOP! hahaha....god I am good.
Barret: You da fattest foo' I ever see! u will pay Shinra fat ass!
Palmer: ... oh haha, quite doutbfull... oh Tifa... U will die, by Scarlet personally slapping you to death.
Tifa: you know, maybe you should try a little tae bo. a little martial arts is good for the flab.
Palmer: SILENCE! Aeris... you will die by... wait a minute, you're already dead...
Aeris:......................*disappears in a POOF! of smoke*
Blowjo: well that makes my job a little easier! ah ahahaha!
Palmer: SHUT UP BLOWJO! only *I* may laugh! *buzzes Blowjo with the thing*
Blowjo: bah!
Palmer: now, and finally, Mr reeve! I will kill you myself for creating Cait Sith! what were you thinking! are you on crack?!
Reeve: My Cait Sith! i havent seen him in oh so long! where is he???
Author: uh... dont you remember?
***FLASHBACK***
Cait Sith: Hey guys! Who wants to play Monopoly?!
Yuffie: *flings her conformer at him*
Everyone: *looks at her strangely*
Yuffie: What? I hate Monopoly! Vincent always cheats!
Vincent: Big talk coming from a theif..
Yuffie: You want a piece of this?!
Vincent: Bring it on
Cait Sith: *short circuts*
*** END FLASHBACK***
Reeve:...oh yeahh...
Palmer: oh... well then if Cait Sith is dead... then I have no beef with you, you are free to go.
Cait Sith #34957439574395: You're in luck! Im a clone of Cait Sith #34957439574394! Back to help you on your tales of -
Vincent: *shoots cait sith point blank* how many times im i going to have to keep doing that???
Reeve: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Palmer: ahahahaah! now! what are you going to do, my not-so-friends?! ...TIE THEM UP BLOWJO!
Author: well, this is just getting interesting.... I wonder what is going to happen...?
****************************************************************** How does Monopoly exist in the FF7 world? Will Cait Sith clone himself and return? More importantly, will Vincent run out of bullets? And how will our hereos escape this dastardly situation? Stay tuned to find out, in the next episode of Return of the Madness!