She was obviously early. She sighed, and sat down on the bench to wait for
the train. The only others there were the Marauders and the rest of the
prefects. She certainly didn't.wait, was James Potter coming up to her?
"Hullo," he said cheerfully. He sat next to her on the bench and she moved over self-consciously.
"What's wrong," he asked. She turned to his mild face and replied, "I thought we agreed."
"Come on, now, I want to make a fresh start." She looked at him intently, hoping to judge his sincerity. His eyes were surprisingly sad, and he was fumbling with his nails like he was nervous.
"What do you want, Potter?"
"Why do you always think I want something?"
"Because you do, don't you?"
He gave a guilty smile and nodded. "I want you to sit with us in the compartment," he said. He gestured to the three Marauders who were staring at her hopefully.
"Why?" she asked. What were they up to? James seemed to ignore her question. He turned his eyes away from her and up at the Hogwarts Express, which was approaching. The Marauders and the prefects gathered their things and boarded the train, getting hold of the best compartments. Lily stood, as if to go too, but James gently pulled her back down.
"I've been thinking about you," he answered earnestly. Lily laughed disbelievingly. She shook her head and heaved her trunk in with the rest. She was still chuckling to herself as she looked for a compartment, and when she finally found one, stopped and sighed. Was he being serious? What was he playing at? She rummaged through her belongings to find her summer reading: Advanced Charms for the Seventh Year, and began reading.
James was soon crushed by his best friends and carried inside their compartment (Number thirty-two) and while Remus talked about some prank or other, and Sirius played Exploding Snap with Peter, he looked out of the window at all the students rushing to get on the train before it left.
About five games later, Sirius seemed to notice something.
"Hey, Prongs! Congrats! Why didn't you tell me?!" Remus and Peter noticed it too and they burst out laughing.
"What the hell is that, Prongsy? King of Hogwarts is Head Boy too now, eh? Careful, don't give your best friends detention now," Remus joked, gesturing to his badge that lay in his trunk (they opened it to get the Exploding Snap kit).
"Oh," he replied absently. Suddenly, he realized that he didn't know who Head Girl was. It was probably some prude of a Ravenclaw, he groaned and voiced his concerns to the rest of the group.
"You never know, Prongs, maybe it's a Slytherin. Or worse, maybe it's a Gryffindor!" Sirius said, but catching himself, he stood up. James smiled in mid-thought, and ran out of the compartment. The rest of the Marauders laughed again, and Remus voiced everyone's thoughts. "Poor James, fallen hard, hasn't he? Who'd a thunk it?"
After about five or six wrong compartment, he finally found her sitting alone in the last of them. It was the smallest, and because it was so far away from where the food-cart Lady started, everyone avoided sitting there.
"Guess what, Lily," he said breathlessly. She looked up from her book at him.
"What in Merlin's name do you want now, Potter?"
"Guess what?" he said again, obstinately. She sighed.
"What?"
"I'm Head Boy." It had exactly the effect that James expected her to have. She put down her book and walked over to him, pulling him inside the compartment. She locked door to it, and made sure that no one was eavesdropping.
"How," she asked, "How did you become Head Boy?" James gave a small laugh at her gloomy expression. "What are you laughing at?" she asked, hoping to sound mean and threatening. He eyed her for a second with a blank expression on his face. Lily suddenly felt self-conscious. "What??" she asked again.
"Nothing," he replied, "Are you Head Girl?"
"Yes. Now get out. I have to change into my school robes, Hogwarts is almost here." He obeyed her and went out to wait for her. Lily, utterly distressed, changed into her robes and soon, as she predicted, the train stopped. James was already in his robes, with his Head Boy badge pinned neatly to his chest when she came out of her compartment. It seemed they had an unspoken agreement. She followed him quietly, and got in a carriage with the rest of the Marauders. In the castle, they sat together and watched the Sorting, during which the Marauders introduced themselves to Lily, and she to them. They were just regular seventeen-year olds, Lily discovered, much to James's pleasure as much as the other Marauders.
Sirius was the most interesting to Lily of all the four. She knew James, of course, she was confined to his company for an entire two days that she would probably never forget. Remus seemed a bit too talkative for her taste; she would've expected him to be reserved for his condition. (why else was she top of her class for?) Peter was nice, but he was so timid that she gave up talking to him. Sirius and Lily shared the same interests: art, poetry (muggle and magical), Transfiguration, and Charms, Quidditch, Soccer, classical guitar. Lily found that Sirius must have been her twin! Why had she wasted so much time when people just like her were right under her nose?
"Tuck in," Dumbledore said, and the ravenous teens gobbled their dinners. Lily was the hungriest of any of them, as she had no lunch on the train. When the old lady with the food cart came around, she found the compartment door locked. Because of this, Lily finished first, and ate the most, and the boys were highly impressed. Remus declared that Lily and Sirius were officially twins, owing to yet another mutual interest--food. James looked a bit disgruntled, but Lily, who was the only one to notice, dismissed it.
The days passed and Quidditch seasons came. Lily went to all the matches and cheered James on along with Sirius. She became very close to all of the Marauders, though James seemed to have lost interest in her. He was still very friendly, but he was no longer "infatuated," as the Marauders called it, with Lily. All was well until one morning at Breakfast. It was the day before Christmas Break, and everyone Fourth Year and above was staying on account of the Annual Yule Ball. Even Lily who usually never went, was planning on attending, for the rumours said that they were stopping the tradition altogether because of the Voldemort Dilemma.
"Hello Boys," Lily greeted through a mouthful of oatmeal.
"How can you eat that junk," Peter asked.
"It's healthy for you. Right Sirius?" He did not answer. "Sirius?" She found that Sirius and James were busy glaring at each other on opposite sides of the table. James, who was sitting next to her, clenched his fist, and Lily eyed the others warily.
"What is going on here?" she asked. James drew in a shuddering breath. He answered, "Why don't you ask Padfoot? You obviously know each other best."
"What?" said Lily, confused. Remus seemed to know what was going on, but wouldn't say anything.
"Padfoot, what's going on?" she said. Sirius gave her a mean look.
"Why are you asking me? I'm obviously not as important as Prince Mural here."
"He told you? Potter, how could you?" Lily was obviously angry, but contained herself. There was obviously something going on, and being upset was not going to help ease other people's tempers.
"Lupin, tell me, what are they fighting about? I've never seen them fight in all seven years, so who is it? I've got a right."
"Lily," Remus interrupted, "did you ever wonder why James dumped Myra right before they announced the Ball?"
"Well, yes, you know how fickle he is," she said, frowning. What did that have to do with anything? "He probably had another love interest."
"Right. How long has Prongs gone without a girlfriend before Myra?"
"About two days, so what? Get to the point Moony," she retorted.
"Lily, think about it! Who are you going to the ball with?"
"Why Sirius, of c-" Something clicked in her head, and just as soon, James finished his pumpkin juice and made to go. "You can't be serious? This is about."
"Lily, I-" Remus began, but Peter silenced him with a look. He nodded to James, and then Sirius. Remus seemed to understand and stood up. He and Peter left, leaving Sirius, James and Lily to work it out.
"Before you two say anything, I want to know something. Is this what you had in mind? Is this why both of you were being so nice to me?"
"Lily, no, it's not like that," insisted Sirius.
"James?" said Lily.
"What?"
"This is what you wanted all along, isn't it? I was a conquest, right? Yet another race, a competition. You didn't expect Sirius to win, right?" James had a pleading look in his eyes, but he wouldn't say anything. Lily waited for him to say 'No.' She felt the familiar feeling bubbling up within her. The same feeling she had right before the fight, in Honeydukes, and when he confessed that he had been thinking about her over the summer. She sighed, cursing herself for not knowing better. She thought they understood, thought that they were her friends, and where had that ended up? Yet another expectation that she could not fulfill, yet another confirmation that she existed as a utility, to be manipulated and tied into the greater plan. First it was Petunia, then the boy that stole her virginity, and now it was the Marauders.
"THIS is wolfsbane," said the Potions Master, "and YOU are going to work in pairs, doing a herb analysis. It's reactions in presence of any magical essence that you can find in THAT cupboard over there," he pointed to a small shelf across from him with about six herbs in it. "Each reaction should be recorded as volatile, or not, the color, texture, and any other physical property, or chemical property (if known) must also be recorded. Partner up NOW or I'll do you the honor!" With that final bark, the teacher let them all loose, and the students seemed to do as she suggested. She always had the worse suggestions.
In the end, who else but the Marauders and Lily were left unpaired. Obviously, being the dull creature that she was, the Professor paired Sirius with Remus, and Lily with James. Peter, unfortunately, had to work with her.
"You record and I'll mix," Lily commanded. James took out his parchment and quill without protest. The first hour of Double Potions passed, with no outbursts. Unless one was to count the constant explosions every other second when the students added the wolfsbane to its reactant the wrong way. Other than that it was fine.
"I'm sorry," said James.
"For what, Potter?"
"For being jealous." Lily stopped diluting her bubotuber pus to look at him.
"Jealous of what?"
"You and Sirius," he hesitated, and put his quill down. Sitting on the stool, he looked up at her and continued in a softer voice. Lily almost had to strain to listen over another explosion. "I really like you. Ever since I found out that you were the one that painted the picture of me, well, I.I love you, Evans."
"Potter, let's not do this nonsense, I don't-" He went on, ignoring her, "I know you won't ever go out with me, or entertain any of those teenage conventions, but seeing you with Padfoot.well, I just lost my self-control. I told him that you were the one that painted the mural, and he got angry with me for not telling him that you knew."
"You mean he doesn't know that I figured it out myself?" Lily began to think of how to apologize to Sirius and she and James planned strategies to talk to him, and as they were finished recording all their reactions with another forty-five minutes left of class, they had quite some time to do so.
By the time dinner was over, Sirius found himself being dragged into the Dissendius passage.
"Padfoot," James began, "LILY has something to tell you." Lily gave James an incredulous glance, and cleared her throat.
"I wanted to say that, erm, James would like to apologize for his irrational behaviour."
"Lily!"
"Ok, fine, Sirius," she began again, but he was squirming as the Body Bind was beginning to wear off.
"Petrificus Totalus," James interrupted. Lily continued, "Look at the picture."
The common attention was turned to the mural on the wall. It was of James in his magnificient stag form. His brown fur stood out startlingly in the white of the snow. In the messy chalk, there was the Forbidden Forest and the Gamekeeper's Hut, painted in hues of green and red, and it gave the entire picture a colorful cave-man like appeal.
"Padfoot, back in fourth year.well, I overheard.your animagus plans in the Shrieking Shack. I go there sometimes, when it's not the full moon of course.because.well, I just like to be alone." Lily stared at her feet, feeling guilty for lying. Even though she wasn't looking at James, she felt his suspicious eyes bear into her. She suppressed the feeling and put on a cheerful expression. She took off the charms on him, and he took in a breath and sighed.
"So." Sirius began, "I'm sorry man." James turned his attention from Lily and smiled at his best friend.
"Me too, Padfoot," and he pulled him into an embrace. Lily, feeling awkward, pulled her cloak around her and began walking back through the passage to Hogwarts.
"Hey Lily!" called Sirius, "Where do you think you're going?" Sirius pulled her into a hug with James and himself, and it would've been a truly touching moment, had not James been plagued with conflicting emotions. He pulled away quickly, but thankfully noone had noticed.
"How about we load up on sweets, guys? The ball's three days from now, and we'll need something to help us through it," suggested James, and the two agreed willingly.
Only when she finally lay in her bed at only God-knew-when, did she realized that someone admitted to loving her for the first time since her parents. Even her blood sister had never said it. Did that mean anything? She remembered her old dreams, of how James Potter would talk to her and they would be best friends. Was it coming true? Of course not. The son of the Minister of Magic? Fall in love with an orphan muggle-born? The other Gryffindor seventh years were startled awake by a shrill laugh of some sort. Maybe it was Peeves.
"Hullo," he said cheerfully. He sat next to her on the bench and she moved over self-consciously.
"What's wrong," he asked. She turned to his mild face and replied, "I thought we agreed."
"Come on, now, I want to make a fresh start." She looked at him intently, hoping to judge his sincerity. His eyes were surprisingly sad, and he was fumbling with his nails like he was nervous.
"What do you want, Potter?"
"Why do you always think I want something?"
"Because you do, don't you?"
He gave a guilty smile and nodded. "I want you to sit with us in the compartment," he said. He gestured to the three Marauders who were staring at her hopefully.
"Why?" she asked. What were they up to? James seemed to ignore her question. He turned his eyes away from her and up at the Hogwarts Express, which was approaching. The Marauders and the prefects gathered their things and boarded the train, getting hold of the best compartments. Lily stood, as if to go too, but James gently pulled her back down.
"I've been thinking about you," he answered earnestly. Lily laughed disbelievingly. She shook her head and heaved her trunk in with the rest. She was still chuckling to herself as she looked for a compartment, and when she finally found one, stopped and sighed. Was he being serious? What was he playing at? She rummaged through her belongings to find her summer reading: Advanced Charms for the Seventh Year, and began reading.
James was soon crushed by his best friends and carried inside their compartment (Number thirty-two) and while Remus talked about some prank or other, and Sirius played Exploding Snap with Peter, he looked out of the window at all the students rushing to get on the train before it left.
About five games later, Sirius seemed to notice something.
"Hey, Prongs! Congrats! Why didn't you tell me?!" Remus and Peter noticed it too and they burst out laughing.
"What the hell is that, Prongsy? King of Hogwarts is Head Boy too now, eh? Careful, don't give your best friends detention now," Remus joked, gesturing to his badge that lay in his trunk (they opened it to get the Exploding Snap kit).
"Oh," he replied absently. Suddenly, he realized that he didn't know who Head Girl was. It was probably some prude of a Ravenclaw, he groaned and voiced his concerns to the rest of the group.
"You never know, Prongs, maybe it's a Slytherin. Or worse, maybe it's a Gryffindor!" Sirius said, but catching himself, he stood up. James smiled in mid-thought, and ran out of the compartment. The rest of the Marauders laughed again, and Remus voiced everyone's thoughts. "Poor James, fallen hard, hasn't he? Who'd a thunk it?"
After about five or six wrong compartment, he finally found her sitting alone in the last of them. It was the smallest, and because it was so far away from where the food-cart Lady started, everyone avoided sitting there.
"Guess what, Lily," he said breathlessly. She looked up from her book at him.
"What in Merlin's name do you want now, Potter?"
"Guess what?" he said again, obstinately. She sighed.
"What?"
"I'm Head Boy." It had exactly the effect that James expected her to have. She put down her book and walked over to him, pulling him inside the compartment. She locked door to it, and made sure that no one was eavesdropping.
"How," she asked, "How did you become Head Boy?" James gave a small laugh at her gloomy expression. "What are you laughing at?" she asked, hoping to sound mean and threatening. He eyed her for a second with a blank expression on his face. Lily suddenly felt self-conscious. "What??" she asked again.
"Nothing," he replied, "Are you Head Girl?"
"Yes. Now get out. I have to change into my school robes, Hogwarts is almost here." He obeyed her and went out to wait for her. Lily, utterly distressed, changed into her robes and soon, as she predicted, the train stopped. James was already in his robes, with his Head Boy badge pinned neatly to his chest when she came out of her compartment. It seemed they had an unspoken agreement. She followed him quietly, and got in a carriage with the rest of the Marauders. In the castle, they sat together and watched the Sorting, during which the Marauders introduced themselves to Lily, and she to them. They were just regular seventeen-year olds, Lily discovered, much to James's pleasure as much as the other Marauders.
Sirius was the most interesting to Lily of all the four. She knew James, of course, she was confined to his company for an entire two days that she would probably never forget. Remus seemed a bit too talkative for her taste; she would've expected him to be reserved for his condition. (why else was she top of her class for?) Peter was nice, but he was so timid that she gave up talking to him. Sirius and Lily shared the same interests: art, poetry (muggle and magical), Transfiguration, and Charms, Quidditch, Soccer, classical guitar. Lily found that Sirius must have been her twin! Why had she wasted so much time when people just like her were right under her nose?
"Tuck in," Dumbledore said, and the ravenous teens gobbled their dinners. Lily was the hungriest of any of them, as she had no lunch on the train. When the old lady with the food cart came around, she found the compartment door locked. Because of this, Lily finished first, and ate the most, and the boys were highly impressed. Remus declared that Lily and Sirius were officially twins, owing to yet another mutual interest--food. James looked a bit disgruntled, but Lily, who was the only one to notice, dismissed it.
The days passed and Quidditch seasons came. Lily went to all the matches and cheered James on along with Sirius. She became very close to all of the Marauders, though James seemed to have lost interest in her. He was still very friendly, but he was no longer "infatuated," as the Marauders called it, with Lily. All was well until one morning at Breakfast. It was the day before Christmas Break, and everyone Fourth Year and above was staying on account of the Annual Yule Ball. Even Lily who usually never went, was planning on attending, for the rumours said that they were stopping the tradition altogether because of the Voldemort Dilemma.
"Hello Boys," Lily greeted through a mouthful of oatmeal.
"How can you eat that junk," Peter asked.
"It's healthy for you. Right Sirius?" He did not answer. "Sirius?" She found that Sirius and James were busy glaring at each other on opposite sides of the table. James, who was sitting next to her, clenched his fist, and Lily eyed the others warily.
"What is going on here?" she asked. James drew in a shuddering breath. He answered, "Why don't you ask Padfoot? You obviously know each other best."
"What?" said Lily, confused. Remus seemed to know what was going on, but wouldn't say anything.
"Padfoot, what's going on?" she said. Sirius gave her a mean look.
"Why are you asking me? I'm obviously not as important as Prince Mural here."
"He told you? Potter, how could you?" Lily was obviously angry, but contained herself. There was obviously something going on, and being upset was not going to help ease other people's tempers.
"Lupin, tell me, what are they fighting about? I've never seen them fight in all seven years, so who is it? I've got a right."
"Lily," Remus interrupted, "did you ever wonder why James dumped Myra right before they announced the Ball?"
"Well, yes, you know how fickle he is," she said, frowning. What did that have to do with anything? "He probably had another love interest."
"Right. How long has Prongs gone without a girlfriend before Myra?"
"About two days, so what? Get to the point Moony," she retorted.
"Lily, think about it! Who are you going to the ball with?"
"Why Sirius, of c-" Something clicked in her head, and just as soon, James finished his pumpkin juice and made to go. "You can't be serious? This is about."
"Lily, I-" Remus began, but Peter silenced him with a look. He nodded to James, and then Sirius. Remus seemed to understand and stood up. He and Peter left, leaving Sirius, James and Lily to work it out.
"Before you two say anything, I want to know something. Is this what you had in mind? Is this why both of you were being so nice to me?"
"Lily, no, it's not like that," insisted Sirius.
"James?" said Lily.
"What?"
"This is what you wanted all along, isn't it? I was a conquest, right? Yet another race, a competition. You didn't expect Sirius to win, right?" James had a pleading look in his eyes, but he wouldn't say anything. Lily waited for him to say 'No.' She felt the familiar feeling bubbling up within her. The same feeling she had right before the fight, in Honeydukes, and when he confessed that he had been thinking about her over the summer. She sighed, cursing herself for not knowing better. She thought they understood, thought that they were her friends, and where had that ended up? Yet another expectation that she could not fulfill, yet another confirmation that she existed as a utility, to be manipulated and tied into the greater plan. First it was Petunia, then the boy that stole her virginity, and now it was the Marauders.
"THIS is wolfsbane," said the Potions Master, "and YOU are going to work in pairs, doing a herb analysis. It's reactions in presence of any magical essence that you can find in THAT cupboard over there," he pointed to a small shelf across from him with about six herbs in it. "Each reaction should be recorded as volatile, or not, the color, texture, and any other physical property, or chemical property (if known) must also be recorded. Partner up NOW or I'll do you the honor!" With that final bark, the teacher let them all loose, and the students seemed to do as she suggested. She always had the worse suggestions.
In the end, who else but the Marauders and Lily were left unpaired. Obviously, being the dull creature that she was, the Professor paired Sirius with Remus, and Lily with James. Peter, unfortunately, had to work with her.
"You record and I'll mix," Lily commanded. James took out his parchment and quill without protest. The first hour of Double Potions passed, with no outbursts. Unless one was to count the constant explosions every other second when the students added the wolfsbane to its reactant the wrong way. Other than that it was fine.
"I'm sorry," said James.
"For what, Potter?"
"For being jealous." Lily stopped diluting her bubotuber pus to look at him.
"Jealous of what?"
"You and Sirius," he hesitated, and put his quill down. Sitting on the stool, he looked up at her and continued in a softer voice. Lily almost had to strain to listen over another explosion. "I really like you. Ever since I found out that you were the one that painted the picture of me, well, I.I love you, Evans."
"Potter, let's not do this nonsense, I don't-" He went on, ignoring her, "I know you won't ever go out with me, or entertain any of those teenage conventions, but seeing you with Padfoot.well, I just lost my self-control. I told him that you were the one that painted the mural, and he got angry with me for not telling him that you knew."
"You mean he doesn't know that I figured it out myself?" Lily began to think of how to apologize to Sirius and she and James planned strategies to talk to him, and as they were finished recording all their reactions with another forty-five minutes left of class, they had quite some time to do so.
By the time dinner was over, Sirius found himself being dragged into the Dissendius passage.
"Padfoot," James began, "LILY has something to tell you." Lily gave James an incredulous glance, and cleared her throat.
"I wanted to say that, erm, James would like to apologize for his irrational behaviour."
"Lily!"
"Ok, fine, Sirius," she began again, but he was squirming as the Body Bind was beginning to wear off.
"Petrificus Totalus," James interrupted. Lily continued, "Look at the picture."
The common attention was turned to the mural on the wall. It was of James in his magnificient stag form. His brown fur stood out startlingly in the white of the snow. In the messy chalk, there was the Forbidden Forest and the Gamekeeper's Hut, painted in hues of green and red, and it gave the entire picture a colorful cave-man like appeal.
"Padfoot, back in fourth year.well, I overheard.your animagus plans in the Shrieking Shack. I go there sometimes, when it's not the full moon of course.because.well, I just like to be alone." Lily stared at her feet, feeling guilty for lying. Even though she wasn't looking at James, she felt his suspicious eyes bear into her. She suppressed the feeling and put on a cheerful expression. She took off the charms on him, and he took in a breath and sighed.
"So." Sirius began, "I'm sorry man." James turned his attention from Lily and smiled at his best friend.
"Me too, Padfoot," and he pulled him into an embrace. Lily, feeling awkward, pulled her cloak around her and began walking back through the passage to Hogwarts.
"Hey Lily!" called Sirius, "Where do you think you're going?" Sirius pulled her into a hug with James and himself, and it would've been a truly touching moment, had not James been plagued with conflicting emotions. He pulled away quickly, but thankfully noone had noticed.
"How about we load up on sweets, guys? The ball's three days from now, and we'll need something to help us through it," suggested James, and the two agreed willingly.
Only when she finally lay in her bed at only God-knew-when, did she realized that someone admitted to loving her for the first time since her parents. Even her blood sister had never said it. Did that mean anything? She remembered her old dreams, of how James Potter would talk to her and they would be best friends. Was it coming true? Of course not. The son of the Minister of Magic? Fall in love with an orphan muggle-born? The other Gryffindor seventh years were startled awake by a shrill laugh of some sort. Maybe it was Peeves.