"So, Lily," said Myra, "enjoying your fifteen minutes in the spotlight?"
Lily gaped at her. "What?"
"Your friendship with the Marauders."
"If you're just angry because Potter broke up with you for some other girl, it was bound to happen eventually-" Myra narrowed her eyes and cocked her head.
"Lily, I will ignore that last comment. I understand we haven't been the best of friends, but I urge you to listen to me as a dorm-mate, atleast. I've been hurt by them, and maybe you're not one of their girlfriends, but I just don't want the same thing to happen to anyone else. I cried for hours, Lily, and I couldn't forgive myself if I hadn't warned you." Lily considered this, but Myra wasn't finished.
"They ignored you for the first so many years, and then they suddenly befriend you. Even though they are Gryffindors, politics are politics. They always want something. I don't know why James broke up with me, we were so close, and he was so friendly.and then suddenly-" Lily sighed.
"I guess you're right, Myra," she said, more to herself than to her companion, and went up to the Common Room. The Marauders always came in at that time after their kitchen raids to joke around and play chess. Myra smiled sympathetically and set off for the Library, pondering her good deed.
"Where's Lily?" The Marauders soon entered, as predicted, into the Common Room with a couple of different types of fudges and about twenty mince pies. James sighed, "I'll go get her," he said. He made a big show of getting up from his comfortable armchair (the most comfortable, reserved for him, in particular). "Don't sit in my chair, any of you!" he warned, but as soon as he was out of sight, Remus jumped into the chair and poked his tongue out at Sirius and Peter.
"So immature."
*
"Lily?" he called, and knocked on the Girl's Dormitory. The door flung open suddenly and a shout ("Who the hell-") came from the room. When James entered, he found her in the corner, reading some book or another, and her wand was poised from opening the door previously. "Lily?"
When she turned to him, there was an unreadable expression on her face and it quickly turned to one of surprise. "I'm sorry Potter, I can't come downstairs, this book is just entirely too enthralling." She promptly went back to her book, clearly bent on ignoring him.
"Then I'll stay here and keep you company," he said, and jumped on to her four poster. Lily's face was quite precious, her jaw dropped and her eyes narrowed.
"Potter, why do you insist on irking me constantly?" she said harshly. James looked a bit hurt, but quickly covered it up.
"Because I take great joy in it, of course. And Lily, don't call me Potter. It sounds so informal, like I'm some great authority and you're my disgruntled subject, waiting to discuss tax law amendments." Lily stifled a smile, reminding herself of what Myra said. Politics.
"Why aren't you talking to me, darling? Usually you're just full of bitter and sarcastic comments." There was stirring in Lily's stomach, and she took in a breath, hoping to contain it. These feelings had to stop. She felt like punching him once more-that seemed to do the trick. For the few minutes that she was fighting him atleast.
"James Potter, you are the most disgustingly vile creature that I have ever laid eyes on, and I hate you. Satisfied?" Lily regretted saying the words as soon as they left her lips, but her stubbornness kept her from apologizing.
"Did you mean that?" said James quietly. Lily didn't answer. She kept her eyes on the book and she heard the bed creak and the door close. The tears started leaking out, and soon she began to draw. She always seemed to draw when she was extremely sad, but she tried to convince herself that it worked for all extreme emotions. She was just immensely happy that Potter had left her alone.
Two days later, the ball came around. Lily was bound, as Head Girl, and Sirius Black's date to attend it, and so she did. While all the other girls were bustling around doing this and that for hours on end, Lily simply let her hair loose (for the first time in public since her mother last touched it) and slipped on her only non-school robes. They were blue, and billowed around her. She wore the silver hoop earrings her sister gave her, for her mother always said that it was not appropriate to go anywhere without jewelry.
"Lily darling," Sirius said snootily, "You look stunning." Lily gave a weak smile, and it seemed to content him. She was the first one to come down the stairs, so all the boys that were waiting on the foot of the staircase were concentrated on her. James and Remus were going alone, and Peter already left to meet his Ravenclaw date. The two followed the couple (Lily and Sirius) and sat down at the Head Table. Remus posed as James' "date" and took her place, and surprisingly, no one noticed.
Lily danced with Sirius for about fifteen of the twenty dances, but found that she wasn't having such a great time. Remus was nowhere to be seen since he disappeared with Myra Damier. She motioned to Sirius, and he moved out of the crowd and away from the band where there was less yelling and noise.
"Yes, Lillian my dearest," Sirius asked. He looked at the pained expression on Lily's face. "D'you want to go outside?" he yelled (it was still a bit noisy). She shook her head 'no.' "Oh, you're tired?"
"Yeah. You go ahead and have a good time, Sirius, I'll think I'll go eat, okay?" He nodded and smiled at her. They were here as friends, and Lily didn't know if they could be any more. It wasn't that he wasn't a crushable person, but.well.it was obviously James' fault. It was always James' fault these days. If he hadn't ruined her week with his provoking comments, then she wouldn't have had such a lousy time at the ball. As she was thinking, back at the table, who else chose to sit next to her but Potter himself.
"Having a good time are you?" he asked rhetorically. Before she could answer, he stood up and offered his hand to her. The band struck up a slow song. "I want to talk to you," he said. Lily, who had been feeling queasy all along the conversation, accepted, hoping he didn't start to yell at her or something.
"I wanted to know why I annoy you so much. I mean, maybe next time, I could work on it. Diplomatic strategies, you know?" He waltzed her across the room as he spoke, though the dance wasn't even in three-four time. Lily's heart pounded in her chest and she felt like she would explode. Thankfully, she wasn't blushing, but she might as well have been, for it seemed like James was reading every nasty little thought in her mind.
"So tell me, how do I 'irk' you so much?"
"First of all, you're a prat," she said, "and second of all, you're the Minister's son."
"What does that have to do with anything?" he interrupted, buying Lily some time to think of more reasons.
"James, think about it. I'm a muggle-born. I have no parents. I was raised in charity. You are my entire opposite, and there are more of my kind than yours, the prestigious. Why would you just talk to me all of a sudden? You have to have a reason?"
"I told you my reason, I love you." James was trying to fathom her expression, but to no avail. Lily swallowed painfully.
"You see the thing is, Potter," his arms stiffened. He said, "I'm not listening to you if you call me 'Potter.'" "Well the thing is, Potter," she persisted, "People don't just "love" other people for no reason. What have I ever done for you?"
"You don't have to do anything. It's just the way I feel. I'll show you."
Just when Lily was wondering what he wanted to "show," James pulled her closer and pressed his lips to her. Before she could react, her head whirred, and entirely to soon, he pulled away. Lily felt her lips subconsciously, and James let go of his grasp around her. He thought to himself, 'It's never felt this.chaste, and yet.' He thought he knew what love was, but the feeling that he had, so overpowering and imposing, that now he began to doubt everything. Just a simple kiss, why had it felt so thrilling? It almost scared him in its grotesque immensity.
"Lily," he said softly, and their eyes locked. She broke contact first, and he realized why she hated him. He realized that she had felt this before him. It could either be heaven or hell, and in her case, it was hell at one point. All those romance movies he watched on the muggle box, and Shakespeare, being hurt when one didn't love you back, he understood. He thought that it was heart wrenching when Lily was with Sirius, and now he knew how bad it could really be. What if she lead him on? What if she dumped him?
"Lily, I'm sorry," he said, and she looked at him with that same astonished expression. She cracked a smile.
"Why? This horrible night is almost over. Last dance. I think we're supposed to dance together James." Sure enough, Dumbledore stood up.
"Head Students, this is your dance. You others, grab someone special, it's the last dance of the night."
Once more, they came close together. James put his hand on her waist and she around his neck. Too soon for their liking, although, the song ended. Dumbledore announced that they could either go take a walk around grounds or eat. As this was a yearly tradition, most students knew what they would do. Most ate, and the remainder went out to enjoy the grounds. Lily and James chose to go out into the grounds.
"Lily," said James when they found a secluded place to sit, "I do love you. With every portion of my being. And I know that you think I'm some overlarge jerk," Lily started to say something, but James silenced her with his hand, "I've never felt this way before. With anyone, and I'd hate it if we were to continue pretending. Atleast let's be friends?" Lily felt the tears start to come, and this time, she let them flow. If she had to say it, she had to say it now. She didn't care what impression she made, but she hated their situation as much as he did.
"My parents died when I was really young. I never said that I'd loved them, because I didn't know about love, didn't know I was supposed to, and I will never have the chance. My sister hates me. My last boyfriend raped me, and I thought he cared, just like you, before the incident with the mural. Maybe I'm feeling self-pity, or whatever, but," she was overwhelmed with sobs so much that she stopped speaking.
James seemed to understand, although, and he pulled her closer to him. She put her chin on his shoulder and something seemed to snap inside her. She saw in her mind, her parents strewn about her, right after the car accident and the EMT trying to gather them into the ambulance. She saw Petunia, complaining right next to her that it was all her sister's fault. She was weird from the start, and God had punished them all for her evil treachery. Lily cried for a while, but gathered her self.
"The point is, Potter," she sniffed, "I've had enough. I understand you like me, because I'm pretty, smart, whatever, but I've heard it all before, ok? And there's nothing here," she pointed to herself, feeling braver, "that is better than Myra or anyone else that you may have been with before."
James was about to interrupt, but an unrecognizable black owl flew over to him. In its claws was a small piece of paper. When he opened it, a dark mark floated up from it into the sky, and a message appeared in dark red letters. "Minister of Magic Murdered. Condolences, You-know-who." James's heart pounded to his throat, and hoping it was a joke, he ran to the castle, Lily following right behind him. She had read it the same time as he.
*
Dumbledore confirmed it. Not only had the Minister died, but his wife been tortured as well. She was in the Hospital, in critical condition, requiring surgery. James was numb. He blocked out all voices and walked up to his Dorm, to gather his wits and keep from committing suicide. He didn't notice the Marauders as well as Lily walk up with him, all of them with scared looks on their faces, and when he lay on his bed, he pulled his knees up to his chest and closed his eyes. He hoped to fall asleep. Maybe this was all a dream.
The next morning, James woke up cheerfully, and noticing the solemn looks on his friends' faces, angrily smashed the closest thing to him against the wall-soon, things started flying around, and glass was breaking everywhere. The four left him and closed the door behind them, but his distressing cries could be heard from down in the Common Room where they sat. They wore identical looks of misery, and as no one else was staying over from Gryffindor, only James voice was heard throughout the entire tower.
The cries subsided, though, after about two hours, and faint sobs could be heard it's place. Fifteen minutes later, noise stopped entirely, and only Sirius's stomach rumbled.
"How about you guys go get Breakfast," Lily said in a wavering tone, "and I'll stay back and make sure he doesn't do anything stupid?" The looked at each other, thoughtfully considering it, and Remus nodded to her. "Make sure to bring something for me and Jamesie, eh?"
"I don't think he'll eat, Lily," Sirius said doubtfully, but Lily shook her head. "Bring it anyway," she said. As soon as they exited the Common Room, Lily began climbing up the stairs to the Boys' Dorm to check up on him.
"James?" There was no response for a while, but Lily saw that James's eyes were open. She went over and hugged him close to her, held his hand, and waited. All of these things, she wished that someone had done for her, and then maybe she would be a bit more trusting. The opportunity was lost for her, but that didn't mean that James had to also. Besides, he still had his mother.
"I understand what you said now. About how you'll never have another chance. I always told my father I hated him. Because he was the great Minister of Magic, and he never had any time for his son, always had to save the world." Lily squeezed his hand as he began to cry again. His voice was hoarse from the yelling. "I was lucky to even have a father that loved me. People are worse off. I feel guilty now, after being so angry, I've realized that I have people who care about me. All those poor people out there.no wonder there is evil. I don't fear Voldemort, and I don't hate him, I pity him."
Lily smiled at him encouragingly, and finished for him. "It took me a while to figure that out, and that fact is what kept me from going crazy. Death is inevitable. Sooner or later, we will all die. My only hope is not to let my anger rule me. Where would we go if everyone were controlled by their emotions? That's why I vowed not to love, or hate, or feel at all. I realize now, Prongs, with your help, that emotions are just as inevitable. Learning to play with the cards you're dealt-that is where the challenge lies.
"And Lily Evans, we will face that challenge." Lily helped James up out of his bed, and they walked down to Breakfast, much to the surprise of the Marauders, who expected atleast a month before he recovered from the ordeal, judging by the way he was throwing things.
"Lily, you must be some sort of miracle worker, what did you do to him?" Remus said when she sat down next to him.
"Nothing," she said, "James did it himself." She gave him a secretive smile, and he smiled back, but Peter and Sirius seemed to notice.
"What's going on?" said Sirius, "You're finally together, are you?" James blushed pink, and looked down at his breakfast, but Lily began to deny it.
"No! What makes you think I even like him! I never said it! Eww gross, James Potter? No, Sirius!"
But the secret was out. Lily Evans and James Potter liked each other. Soon, first years (sent by the older-year admirers,) came to confirm it. "Are you guys going out?" they would ask, and even though both James and Lily denied it, countless members of James's fan club took some incentive to torture her.
"Oh look, it's the Mudblood lover," said Snape. The Marauders and Lily were just returning from a visit to the Holding, with Chocolate Frogs jumping all over. "Have you met the girl's parents yet, Potter?" Lily clenched her fists, and James saw it. He put his hand on hers and Lily loosened it a bit, and James replied.
"Snape, I don't have time for you and your Death-Eater pals here, so get your ass out of my face. You wouldn't want last year's incident to be repeated again, do you?"
"You wouldn't, coward!" spat Snape, "you couldn't do it last year, and you can't do it now. This time, you don't have the Minister to save your butt from getting expelled." Lily looked at James's face for a reaction, but this time, there was a small smirk on it.
"Get lost, Snape. You were scared too, weren't you? 'Mommy, the power of darkness, dammit, someone get me out of here!!'" Sirius let out a snicker, but contained himself at Remus's sharp expression. With a final glare (from both sides) he left, with Crabbe and Goyle hot on his heels.
"Sorry Lils."
"Ooh, we have nicknames for each other now, have we?" Sirius taunted happily. Remus stuck a struggling chocolate frog on his mouth, and Peter noticed that Lily's and James's hands dropped apart. It was almost New Year's Eve, and they had to be going to the kitchens to get food for the party in the Gryffindor commons.
Lily gaped at her. "What?"
"Your friendship with the Marauders."
"If you're just angry because Potter broke up with you for some other girl, it was bound to happen eventually-" Myra narrowed her eyes and cocked her head.
"Lily, I will ignore that last comment. I understand we haven't been the best of friends, but I urge you to listen to me as a dorm-mate, atleast. I've been hurt by them, and maybe you're not one of their girlfriends, but I just don't want the same thing to happen to anyone else. I cried for hours, Lily, and I couldn't forgive myself if I hadn't warned you." Lily considered this, but Myra wasn't finished.
"They ignored you for the first so many years, and then they suddenly befriend you. Even though they are Gryffindors, politics are politics. They always want something. I don't know why James broke up with me, we were so close, and he was so friendly.and then suddenly-" Lily sighed.
"I guess you're right, Myra," she said, more to herself than to her companion, and went up to the Common Room. The Marauders always came in at that time after their kitchen raids to joke around and play chess. Myra smiled sympathetically and set off for the Library, pondering her good deed.
"Where's Lily?" The Marauders soon entered, as predicted, into the Common Room with a couple of different types of fudges and about twenty mince pies. James sighed, "I'll go get her," he said. He made a big show of getting up from his comfortable armchair (the most comfortable, reserved for him, in particular). "Don't sit in my chair, any of you!" he warned, but as soon as he was out of sight, Remus jumped into the chair and poked his tongue out at Sirius and Peter.
"So immature."
*
"Lily?" he called, and knocked on the Girl's Dormitory. The door flung open suddenly and a shout ("Who the hell-") came from the room. When James entered, he found her in the corner, reading some book or another, and her wand was poised from opening the door previously. "Lily?"
When she turned to him, there was an unreadable expression on her face and it quickly turned to one of surprise. "I'm sorry Potter, I can't come downstairs, this book is just entirely too enthralling." She promptly went back to her book, clearly bent on ignoring him.
"Then I'll stay here and keep you company," he said, and jumped on to her four poster. Lily's face was quite precious, her jaw dropped and her eyes narrowed.
"Potter, why do you insist on irking me constantly?" she said harshly. James looked a bit hurt, but quickly covered it up.
"Because I take great joy in it, of course. And Lily, don't call me Potter. It sounds so informal, like I'm some great authority and you're my disgruntled subject, waiting to discuss tax law amendments." Lily stifled a smile, reminding herself of what Myra said. Politics.
"Why aren't you talking to me, darling? Usually you're just full of bitter and sarcastic comments." There was stirring in Lily's stomach, and she took in a breath, hoping to contain it. These feelings had to stop. She felt like punching him once more-that seemed to do the trick. For the few minutes that she was fighting him atleast.
"James Potter, you are the most disgustingly vile creature that I have ever laid eyes on, and I hate you. Satisfied?" Lily regretted saying the words as soon as they left her lips, but her stubbornness kept her from apologizing.
"Did you mean that?" said James quietly. Lily didn't answer. She kept her eyes on the book and she heard the bed creak and the door close. The tears started leaking out, and soon she began to draw. She always seemed to draw when she was extremely sad, but she tried to convince herself that it worked for all extreme emotions. She was just immensely happy that Potter had left her alone.
Two days later, the ball came around. Lily was bound, as Head Girl, and Sirius Black's date to attend it, and so she did. While all the other girls were bustling around doing this and that for hours on end, Lily simply let her hair loose (for the first time in public since her mother last touched it) and slipped on her only non-school robes. They were blue, and billowed around her. She wore the silver hoop earrings her sister gave her, for her mother always said that it was not appropriate to go anywhere without jewelry.
"Lily darling," Sirius said snootily, "You look stunning." Lily gave a weak smile, and it seemed to content him. She was the first one to come down the stairs, so all the boys that were waiting on the foot of the staircase were concentrated on her. James and Remus were going alone, and Peter already left to meet his Ravenclaw date. The two followed the couple (Lily and Sirius) and sat down at the Head Table. Remus posed as James' "date" and took her place, and surprisingly, no one noticed.
Lily danced with Sirius for about fifteen of the twenty dances, but found that she wasn't having such a great time. Remus was nowhere to be seen since he disappeared with Myra Damier. She motioned to Sirius, and he moved out of the crowd and away from the band where there was less yelling and noise.
"Yes, Lillian my dearest," Sirius asked. He looked at the pained expression on Lily's face. "D'you want to go outside?" he yelled (it was still a bit noisy). She shook her head 'no.' "Oh, you're tired?"
"Yeah. You go ahead and have a good time, Sirius, I'll think I'll go eat, okay?" He nodded and smiled at her. They were here as friends, and Lily didn't know if they could be any more. It wasn't that he wasn't a crushable person, but.well.it was obviously James' fault. It was always James' fault these days. If he hadn't ruined her week with his provoking comments, then she wouldn't have had such a lousy time at the ball. As she was thinking, back at the table, who else chose to sit next to her but Potter himself.
"Having a good time are you?" he asked rhetorically. Before she could answer, he stood up and offered his hand to her. The band struck up a slow song. "I want to talk to you," he said. Lily, who had been feeling queasy all along the conversation, accepted, hoping he didn't start to yell at her or something.
"I wanted to know why I annoy you so much. I mean, maybe next time, I could work on it. Diplomatic strategies, you know?" He waltzed her across the room as he spoke, though the dance wasn't even in three-four time. Lily's heart pounded in her chest and she felt like she would explode. Thankfully, she wasn't blushing, but she might as well have been, for it seemed like James was reading every nasty little thought in her mind.
"So tell me, how do I 'irk' you so much?"
"First of all, you're a prat," she said, "and second of all, you're the Minister's son."
"What does that have to do with anything?" he interrupted, buying Lily some time to think of more reasons.
"James, think about it. I'm a muggle-born. I have no parents. I was raised in charity. You are my entire opposite, and there are more of my kind than yours, the prestigious. Why would you just talk to me all of a sudden? You have to have a reason?"
"I told you my reason, I love you." James was trying to fathom her expression, but to no avail. Lily swallowed painfully.
"You see the thing is, Potter," his arms stiffened. He said, "I'm not listening to you if you call me 'Potter.'" "Well the thing is, Potter," she persisted, "People don't just "love" other people for no reason. What have I ever done for you?"
"You don't have to do anything. It's just the way I feel. I'll show you."
Just when Lily was wondering what he wanted to "show," James pulled her closer and pressed his lips to her. Before she could react, her head whirred, and entirely to soon, he pulled away. Lily felt her lips subconsciously, and James let go of his grasp around her. He thought to himself, 'It's never felt this.chaste, and yet.' He thought he knew what love was, but the feeling that he had, so overpowering and imposing, that now he began to doubt everything. Just a simple kiss, why had it felt so thrilling? It almost scared him in its grotesque immensity.
"Lily," he said softly, and their eyes locked. She broke contact first, and he realized why she hated him. He realized that she had felt this before him. It could either be heaven or hell, and in her case, it was hell at one point. All those romance movies he watched on the muggle box, and Shakespeare, being hurt when one didn't love you back, he understood. He thought that it was heart wrenching when Lily was with Sirius, and now he knew how bad it could really be. What if she lead him on? What if she dumped him?
"Lily, I'm sorry," he said, and she looked at him with that same astonished expression. She cracked a smile.
"Why? This horrible night is almost over. Last dance. I think we're supposed to dance together James." Sure enough, Dumbledore stood up.
"Head Students, this is your dance. You others, grab someone special, it's the last dance of the night."
Once more, they came close together. James put his hand on her waist and she around his neck. Too soon for their liking, although, the song ended. Dumbledore announced that they could either go take a walk around grounds or eat. As this was a yearly tradition, most students knew what they would do. Most ate, and the remainder went out to enjoy the grounds. Lily and James chose to go out into the grounds.
"Lily," said James when they found a secluded place to sit, "I do love you. With every portion of my being. And I know that you think I'm some overlarge jerk," Lily started to say something, but James silenced her with his hand, "I've never felt this way before. With anyone, and I'd hate it if we were to continue pretending. Atleast let's be friends?" Lily felt the tears start to come, and this time, she let them flow. If she had to say it, she had to say it now. She didn't care what impression she made, but she hated their situation as much as he did.
"My parents died when I was really young. I never said that I'd loved them, because I didn't know about love, didn't know I was supposed to, and I will never have the chance. My sister hates me. My last boyfriend raped me, and I thought he cared, just like you, before the incident with the mural. Maybe I'm feeling self-pity, or whatever, but," she was overwhelmed with sobs so much that she stopped speaking.
James seemed to understand, although, and he pulled her closer to him. She put her chin on his shoulder and something seemed to snap inside her. She saw in her mind, her parents strewn about her, right after the car accident and the EMT trying to gather them into the ambulance. She saw Petunia, complaining right next to her that it was all her sister's fault. She was weird from the start, and God had punished them all for her evil treachery. Lily cried for a while, but gathered her self.
"The point is, Potter," she sniffed, "I've had enough. I understand you like me, because I'm pretty, smart, whatever, but I've heard it all before, ok? And there's nothing here," she pointed to herself, feeling braver, "that is better than Myra or anyone else that you may have been with before."
James was about to interrupt, but an unrecognizable black owl flew over to him. In its claws was a small piece of paper. When he opened it, a dark mark floated up from it into the sky, and a message appeared in dark red letters. "Minister of Magic Murdered. Condolences, You-know-who." James's heart pounded to his throat, and hoping it was a joke, he ran to the castle, Lily following right behind him. She had read it the same time as he.
*
Dumbledore confirmed it. Not only had the Minister died, but his wife been tortured as well. She was in the Hospital, in critical condition, requiring surgery. James was numb. He blocked out all voices and walked up to his Dorm, to gather his wits and keep from committing suicide. He didn't notice the Marauders as well as Lily walk up with him, all of them with scared looks on their faces, and when he lay on his bed, he pulled his knees up to his chest and closed his eyes. He hoped to fall asleep. Maybe this was all a dream.
The next morning, James woke up cheerfully, and noticing the solemn looks on his friends' faces, angrily smashed the closest thing to him against the wall-soon, things started flying around, and glass was breaking everywhere. The four left him and closed the door behind them, but his distressing cries could be heard from down in the Common Room where they sat. They wore identical looks of misery, and as no one else was staying over from Gryffindor, only James voice was heard throughout the entire tower.
The cries subsided, though, after about two hours, and faint sobs could be heard it's place. Fifteen minutes later, noise stopped entirely, and only Sirius's stomach rumbled.
"How about you guys go get Breakfast," Lily said in a wavering tone, "and I'll stay back and make sure he doesn't do anything stupid?" The looked at each other, thoughtfully considering it, and Remus nodded to her. "Make sure to bring something for me and Jamesie, eh?"
"I don't think he'll eat, Lily," Sirius said doubtfully, but Lily shook her head. "Bring it anyway," she said. As soon as they exited the Common Room, Lily began climbing up the stairs to the Boys' Dorm to check up on him.
"James?" There was no response for a while, but Lily saw that James's eyes were open. She went over and hugged him close to her, held his hand, and waited. All of these things, she wished that someone had done for her, and then maybe she would be a bit more trusting. The opportunity was lost for her, but that didn't mean that James had to also. Besides, he still had his mother.
"I understand what you said now. About how you'll never have another chance. I always told my father I hated him. Because he was the great Minister of Magic, and he never had any time for his son, always had to save the world." Lily squeezed his hand as he began to cry again. His voice was hoarse from the yelling. "I was lucky to even have a father that loved me. People are worse off. I feel guilty now, after being so angry, I've realized that I have people who care about me. All those poor people out there.no wonder there is evil. I don't fear Voldemort, and I don't hate him, I pity him."
Lily smiled at him encouragingly, and finished for him. "It took me a while to figure that out, and that fact is what kept me from going crazy. Death is inevitable. Sooner or later, we will all die. My only hope is not to let my anger rule me. Where would we go if everyone were controlled by their emotions? That's why I vowed not to love, or hate, or feel at all. I realize now, Prongs, with your help, that emotions are just as inevitable. Learning to play with the cards you're dealt-that is where the challenge lies.
"And Lily Evans, we will face that challenge." Lily helped James up out of his bed, and they walked down to Breakfast, much to the surprise of the Marauders, who expected atleast a month before he recovered from the ordeal, judging by the way he was throwing things.
"Lily, you must be some sort of miracle worker, what did you do to him?" Remus said when she sat down next to him.
"Nothing," she said, "James did it himself." She gave him a secretive smile, and he smiled back, but Peter and Sirius seemed to notice.
"What's going on?" said Sirius, "You're finally together, are you?" James blushed pink, and looked down at his breakfast, but Lily began to deny it.
"No! What makes you think I even like him! I never said it! Eww gross, James Potter? No, Sirius!"
But the secret was out. Lily Evans and James Potter liked each other. Soon, first years (sent by the older-year admirers,) came to confirm it. "Are you guys going out?" they would ask, and even though both James and Lily denied it, countless members of James's fan club took some incentive to torture her.
"Oh look, it's the Mudblood lover," said Snape. The Marauders and Lily were just returning from a visit to the Holding, with Chocolate Frogs jumping all over. "Have you met the girl's parents yet, Potter?" Lily clenched her fists, and James saw it. He put his hand on hers and Lily loosened it a bit, and James replied.
"Snape, I don't have time for you and your Death-Eater pals here, so get your ass out of my face. You wouldn't want last year's incident to be repeated again, do you?"
"You wouldn't, coward!" spat Snape, "you couldn't do it last year, and you can't do it now. This time, you don't have the Minister to save your butt from getting expelled." Lily looked at James's face for a reaction, but this time, there was a small smirk on it.
"Get lost, Snape. You were scared too, weren't you? 'Mommy, the power of darkness, dammit, someone get me out of here!!'" Sirius let out a snicker, but contained himself at Remus's sharp expression. With a final glare (from both sides) he left, with Crabbe and Goyle hot on his heels.
"Sorry Lils."
"Ooh, we have nicknames for each other now, have we?" Sirius taunted happily. Remus stuck a struggling chocolate frog on his mouth, and Peter noticed that Lily's and James's hands dropped apart. It was almost New Year's Eve, and they had to be going to the kitchens to get food for the party in the Gryffindor commons.