CHAPTER ELEVEN
Three days had past since Will and Joy had got married and it had been three days since Spike left Sunnydale. In that time he hadn't spoken to anyone well apart from the short phone call he got from Joy from the airport.
Spike had listened to her get all excited about going to England, he told there was no big deal and it just rained a lot. It didn't put Joy off though, nothing could have done. Also she was dying to meet Giles.
Spike was meant to be working on his new novel, 'The Trails' as story of a vampire on a mission to save his soul. He had sat down at his typewriter but he just couldn't get into it, the images of the brave vampire he'd created had been dashed with just one visit to SunnyD.
So he'd paced his house a lot, cursed at the TV, he'd even tried to do a bit of gardening but nothing could rid his mind of her.
When he'd pulled out of the parking lot and left Buffy stood in the rain he'd looked back in his rear-view mirror and seen her fall to her knees. Spike knew that he should have gone back then, but he didn't he carried on driving, she had told him to go and that is exactly what he did.
Now he was stood in front of the big bay window in his bedroom staring out at the sunset, twenty years ago he would have wanted to share moments like this with Buffy but not now, it couldn't happen. Clutching his coffee mug in his hand he wondered what Nicola would have made of all this.
Nicola bumped into Spike one day in a second hand record shop, she wasn't like any other woman he'd ever met. Cicely was a stupid boy's crush and she had idea's that she was better than she really was. Dru had loved him with a passion that matched no other but she pushed him to be evil and diminished his manhood. Buffy who he loved more than any other was self righteous and wanted him to be what he couldn't.
Nicola was fun and carefree, she loved him the way he was, she loved him without reservation.
Spike had become her friend straight away and they spent time together just having fun, a concept that he'd never tried with any female friends before, well apart from Dawn he'd never really had any. She fell in love with him and Spike through loneliness started to love her back. He told her all about his life, his life as a master vampire, she just listened and accepted.
One thing though she hated Buffy, when Spike would ask her why she would say it was because of the way she treated him, Spike knew it was because Nicola knew that he would never be able to love her the way he loved Buffy.
The sound of the phone ringing bought Spike out of his thoughts, at first he thought best to just ignore it. The last thing he wanted right know was Buffy whining down the phone at him, but then he realized she didn't have his number. It was probably just Maggie his PR woman.
~*~
Spike picked up the cordless phone and held it to his ear, "'ello."
At first there was no sound from the other end and Spike was just about to hang up when he heard, "Spike?"
He nearly slammed the phone down right then and there at hearing her voice, but he couldn't do that to her. Not to his little Nibblet.
"Hi pet what's up?" He asked wanting to keep the conversation business like.
"Oh I don't know, maybe you walking out!" She said.
Much as he loved the girl she just didn't know when things were best left. He knew that Dawn was just trying to help do what she thought was best for him and Buffy but she really should have just stayed out of it.
"What did Buffy tell you?"
"Just that you to were dancing and you had a fight and you left and she was in the parking lot begging you to stay."
Spike laughed that Slayer had a funny way of telling a story. And the image of Buffy begging was pretty funny as well.
"Well that's not exactly how I would have described it myself."
"Tell me then Spike how would you describe it?" Dawn asked pushing him a little further than he would have liked.
Dawn heard Spike let out a deep sigh, she knew that he didn't really want to go into it with her, or with anyone for that matter, but she was his Little Bit and he wouldn't refuse her.
"Right we were dancing and we started to get a little bit nasty so I asked her if she wanted me to leave and she told me that she did. So I left." Spike explained.
Spike went over and sat down on his bed waiting for Dawn to respond.
"Fine so why did she go outside after you?"
"I guess she didn't think I would really go and when she realized that I was going to leave she came after me and asked me to stay."
Dawn felt like knocking their heads together, all Spike had ever wanted was for Buffy to ask him to stay and she had done yet he still walked away.
"Spike did you want to stay?" Dawn asked putting on her best 'I'm still fifteen' voice to get the best response from him.
Spike thought about it, if he'd have stayed he could be cuddled up in his Slayers arms right at that moment, or they could be beating seven bells out of each other.
"I guess I did." Spike said quietly.
Dawn could have laughed at the situation, Spike wanted to stay, Buffy wanted him to stay yet he was at the other side of the state.
"So she asked you to stay and you went anyway."
"It's not as easy as that Bit, why did she want me to stay she didn't offer me anything."
Dawn knew that Spike was right Buffy hadn't admitted her undying love for him, and for all he knew she might of just wanted him around so that she had someone to beat on.
"Fine but I think you should call her she'll be home in about an hour."
"No I'm not calling her, we're through."
What could Dawn say to that? Sure she could still hear the love in his voice when he spoke about Buffy but with all the things that had happened between them maybe it was time to give it up as a bad job. When it came to Buffy Spike had always put her first, maybe it was about time he started thinking about himself.
"Ok I just want you to be happy Spike and if you're sure that living without Buffy for the rest of your life will make you happy then fine. I've got to go now." Dawn said putting the emphasis on the words 'without', 'rest' and 'life.'
Spike smiled at Dawn down the phone, always the little cupid he thought to himself.
"Bye then Bit, I'll call you sometime we can't loose touch again."
And with that the conversation was over. Dawn had tried her best, she had hoped that he would get on train back to Sunnydale and sweep Buffy up into his arms. So it hadn't quite worked out that way but she did feel like she was making progress.
~*~
Spike replaced the phone back in its cradle and moved back towards his bed. He pushed his hand underneath the bed and fumbled around looking for the box he kept under there.
Pulling it out he thought about how he hadn't been in it for a while, a year maybe. He lifted the lid off the tatty old shoes box and pulled out a couple of old photographs, Spike looked down at the photograph as he sat with his legs spread out on the wooden floor. His Slayer, his Buffy.
It was a photograph that had been taken in his crypt before things got really difficult; he had a whole film of photos from that day but only two of them were of Buffy. It was when Buffy had brought Dawn and Joyce to stay with him to protect them, Dawn had brought a little camera with her and they spent ages taking pictures.
When Buffy had come to get them Joyce had insisted on taking a photograph of Buffy and Dawn together, and then Spike took one of the mother and her two girls. Then Dawn had asked for a picture of Buffy by herself, she stood posing for the camera, while Spike stood in the background smiling, watching the scene. Unfortunately for Spike Dawn had managed to include him on the photo.
Then in that summer, when Buffy was gone Dawn had given Spike all the photos from that day, well apart from the one of her, Buffy and Joyce.
So now he held the photograph of him and the Slayer close to him chest, who was he kidding he'd be back, but just not for a while yet.
TBC.
Three days had past since Will and Joy had got married and it had been three days since Spike left Sunnydale. In that time he hadn't spoken to anyone well apart from the short phone call he got from Joy from the airport.
Spike had listened to her get all excited about going to England, he told there was no big deal and it just rained a lot. It didn't put Joy off though, nothing could have done. Also she was dying to meet Giles.
Spike was meant to be working on his new novel, 'The Trails' as story of a vampire on a mission to save his soul. He had sat down at his typewriter but he just couldn't get into it, the images of the brave vampire he'd created had been dashed with just one visit to SunnyD.
So he'd paced his house a lot, cursed at the TV, he'd even tried to do a bit of gardening but nothing could rid his mind of her.
When he'd pulled out of the parking lot and left Buffy stood in the rain he'd looked back in his rear-view mirror and seen her fall to her knees. Spike knew that he should have gone back then, but he didn't he carried on driving, she had told him to go and that is exactly what he did.
Now he was stood in front of the big bay window in his bedroom staring out at the sunset, twenty years ago he would have wanted to share moments like this with Buffy but not now, it couldn't happen. Clutching his coffee mug in his hand he wondered what Nicola would have made of all this.
Nicola bumped into Spike one day in a second hand record shop, she wasn't like any other woman he'd ever met. Cicely was a stupid boy's crush and she had idea's that she was better than she really was. Dru had loved him with a passion that matched no other but she pushed him to be evil and diminished his manhood. Buffy who he loved more than any other was self righteous and wanted him to be what he couldn't.
Nicola was fun and carefree, she loved him the way he was, she loved him without reservation.
Spike had become her friend straight away and they spent time together just having fun, a concept that he'd never tried with any female friends before, well apart from Dawn he'd never really had any. She fell in love with him and Spike through loneliness started to love her back. He told her all about his life, his life as a master vampire, she just listened and accepted.
One thing though she hated Buffy, when Spike would ask her why she would say it was because of the way she treated him, Spike knew it was because Nicola knew that he would never be able to love her the way he loved Buffy.
The sound of the phone ringing bought Spike out of his thoughts, at first he thought best to just ignore it. The last thing he wanted right know was Buffy whining down the phone at him, but then he realized she didn't have his number. It was probably just Maggie his PR woman.
~*~
Spike picked up the cordless phone and held it to his ear, "'ello."
At first there was no sound from the other end and Spike was just about to hang up when he heard, "Spike?"
He nearly slammed the phone down right then and there at hearing her voice, but he couldn't do that to her. Not to his little Nibblet.
"Hi pet what's up?" He asked wanting to keep the conversation business like.
"Oh I don't know, maybe you walking out!" She said.
Much as he loved the girl she just didn't know when things were best left. He knew that Dawn was just trying to help do what she thought was best for him and Buffy but she really should have just stayed out of it.
"What did Buffy tell you?"
"Just that you to were dancing and you had a fight and you left and she was in the parking lot begging you to stay."
Spike laughed that Slayer had a funny way of telling a story. And the image of Buffy begging was pretty funny as well.
"Well that's not exactly how I would have described it myself."
"Tell me then Spike how would you describe it?" Dawn asked pushing him a little further than he would have liked.
Dawn heard Spike let out a deep sigh, she knew that he didn't really want to go into it with her, or with anyone for that matter, but she was his Little Bit and he wouldn't refuse her.
"Right we were dancing and we started to get a little bit nasty so I asked her if she wanted me to leave and she told me that she did. So I left." Spike explained.
Spike went over and sat down on his bed waiting for Dawn to respond.
"Fine so why did she go outside after you?"
"I guess she didn't think I would really go and when she realized that I was going to leave she came after me and asked me to stay."
Dawn felt like knocking their heads together, all Spike had ever wanted was for Buffy to ask him to stay and she had done yet he still walked away.
"Spike did you want to stay?" Dawn asked putting on her best 'I'm still fifteen' voice to get the best response from him.
Spike thought about it, if he'd have stayed he could be cuddled up in his Slayers arms right at that moment, or they could be beating seven bells out of each other.
"I guess I did." Spike said quietly.
Dawn could have laughed at the situation, Spike wanted to stay, Buffy wanted him to stay yet he was at the other side of the state.
"So she asked you to stay and you went anyway."
"It's not as easy as that Bit, why did she want me to stay she didn't offer me anything."
Dawn knew that Spike was right Buffy hadn't admitted her undying love for him, and for all he knew she might of just wanted him around so that she had someone to beat on.
"Fine but I think you should call her she'll be home in about an hour."
"No I'm not calling her, we're through."
What could Dawn say to that? Sure she could still hear the love in his voice when he spoke about Buffy but with all the things that had happened between them maybe it was time to give it up as a bad job. When it came to Buffy Spike had always put her first, maybe it was about time he started thinking about himself.
"Ok I just want you to be happy Spike and if you're sure that living without Buffy for the rest of your life will make you happy then fine. I've got to go now." Dawn said putting the emphasis on the words 'without', 'rest' and 'life.'
Spike smiled at Dawn down the phone, always the little cupid he thought to himself.
"Bye then Bit, I'll call you sometime we can't loose touch again."
And with that the conversation was over. Dawn had tried her best, she had hoped that he would get on train back to Sunnydale and sweep Buffy up into his arms. So it hadn't quite worked out that way but she did feel like she was making progress.
~*~
Spike replaced the phone back in its cradle and moved back towards his bed. He pushed his hand underneath the bed and fumbled around looking for the box he kept under there.
Pulling it out he thought about how he hadn't been in it for a while, a year maybe. He lifted the lid off the tatty old shoes box and pulled out a couple of old photographs, Spike looked down at the photograph as he sat with his legs spread out on the wooden floor. His Slayer, his Buffy.
It was a photograph that had been taken in his crypt before things got really difficult; he had a whole film of photos from that day but only two of them were of Buffy. It was when Buffy had brought Dawn and Joyce to stay with him to protect them, Dawn had brought a little camera with her and they spent ages taking pictures.
When Buffy had come to get them Joyce had insisted on taking a photograph of Buffy and Dawn together, and then Spike took one of the mother and her two girls. Then Dawn had asked for a picture of Buffy by herself, she stood posing for the camera, while Spike stood in the background smiling, watching the scene. Unfortunately for Spike Dawn had managed to include him on the photo.
Then in that summer, when Buffy was gone Dawn had given Spike all the photos from that day, well apart from the one of her, Buffy and Joyce.
So now he held the photograph of him and the Slayer close to him chest, who was he kidding he'd be back, but just not for a while yet.
TBC.