The hours passed slowly for Lily at Remus's. There was always some sort of commotion, muggle police cars wailing in the darkness, or the hacking coughs of the old men. Sometimes people would even get arrested, and try to fight the Ministry Wizards off.. These were the times Lily relished the most. For most of her stay, she sat staring impassively out of the small window in the living room: the one she initially assumed was the whole of the apartment.

Beside what happened outside the window, there was always something going on inside the flat. James and his lawyers, or James and Dumbledore, the lawyers and the Ministry, or the Ministry and Dumbledore, Dumbledore and the lawyers, and very rarely all of them together were always discussing some sort of arrangement or other. Lily thought it rather funny, that in the end the situation would be no less desperate, all this discussing was doing nothing but making her laugh her brains out.

James was avoiding Lily. Properly, James was avoiding everyone but Dumbledore.

No, properly, everyone was avoiding everyone else but Dumbledore. When Remus and Sirius tried to talk to Lily or James, they were ignored. When Sirius talked to Remus, they were interrupted, and of course, Lily and James would never again, it seemed, talk of their free will, to each other.

So Lily amused herself with laughing at everything. When situations became poignant or sad or violent, she would laugh. When she was reminded of something particularly agonizing, she would laugh. When Dumbledore had something to say, she would try to keep it to herself, but burst out laughing in the end.

Is this how it was? She wondered. So in the end, people just went crazy? Was life this unfair to everyone? She reprimanded herself. Life was not unfair. She was crazy, not hypocritical.

She would often lock herself up in the "window" room, she wasn't even sure for how long. It seemed that the world was waiting for a change, and restlessly, she too was waiting along with it. These sorts of things kept happening to her! First, she's orphanated, then Petunia hates her, and then this James Potter character starts taunting her! Where was this leading? Obviously, there was some point in all of this. She wondered. There was some point in life, wasn't there?

She had never been much of an extrovert. She was always content in her own solitude, often because she hadn't much of a choice, but nevertheless, she was a very romantic person. In her repose in the window room, Lily thought of Joanna Vasquez. It was almost like a premonition, her death, of these thoughts that she was constantly analyzing.

Lily passed her eighteenth birthday in that very room, not even noticing. James came in to wish her a good birthday, but retreated, seeing her hate-filled eyes. And then there was James, she mused to herself. He was the only hope in her life. It seemed that she could no longer live without him. He was the only one who truly ever loved her, but she wasn't quite sure that she loved him. Did she even know how to love?

There was, of course, this deep passion in her heart whenever she thought of him, but she had felt that passion when she was with the Duncan fellow. So then, that wasn't love. She loved her parents, certainly, but she hardly remembered, she was only four when they'd passed. She loved Ashley. Loved, in the past tense. So Ashley was Potter's sister. Ashley knew, and she didn't tell Lily. But why was she upset about that? And why was she upset with James?

She often heard about trust, and faith. Was that applicable somewhere in here?

There was a knock at the door. Lily stood up to get it. James, Dumbledore, Fudge and the lawyers turned their attentions expectantly. There was another impatient knock. Lily struggled with the doorknob for a bit, then yanked it open abruptly.

"Snape!" Lily cried, speaking for the first time in…well…a week.

"Lily! How are you?" Snape stooped down and hugged her very tight, then bustled through the doorway in his stately manner. The people inside were all very speechless, including Dumbledore, and that was nothing short of a miracle.

"Yes, Dumbledore, sir, I have some good news," Snape said finally, shedding his wet cloak hurriedly and putting it in Lily's free hand.

"I have succeeded in getting Ashley to change her name."

"What?" Lily cried, "How do you know her? Wait, she is alright?"

Lily continued blubbering in that manner for almost a minute before Snape collected his wits enough to answer.

"Lily, darling, Calm Down." He touched her arm in a soothing manner, and it was all Lily could do to stop screaming. It seemed some sort of inhuman spirit had possessed the Sinister Snape and was trying to suck the evilness out of him.

"Yes, Toni is fine. Didn't you know I was engaged to her?" he briefly flashed his bonding scar on the inside of his elbow as proof. Sadly enough, it was not far above the Dark Mark that was now a dormant blackish colour.

"Wait a second, how the hell did you get her to agree to it?"

Snape looked a bit hurt for a second, and it was a rather funny thing to witness in his already sour and pallid face.

"Well…she was the one that proposed." Lily began laughing sardonically. When she stopped, she realized that it was a stupid thing to do. She had to get used to the idea eventually…?

"So what has she changed her name to, then?" Dumbledore asked in a 'get-on-with-it' tone of voice. It seemed he was quite frustrated with Lily's little midlife crisis. One of James's lawyers coughed politely into his handkerchief.

"Arabella Figg," Snape replied.

"That's nice," Lily mused thoughtfully, and walked dazedly back to the windowsill. There was nothing more to interest her. Snape and Dumbledore began talking of very Voldemort-ish things, and James and his lawyers would interrupt occasionally with some very helpful comment. Lily remembered seeing Remus and Sirius walking toward the building, obviously on their way back from work at the Leaky Cauldron. She drifted off to sleep, leaning her head against the cold windowsill. She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms about her, yawning one last time.

James was staring. He had to get Lily out of this depressed state if it meant his life. The lawyers and Dumbledore were currently discussing something about Voldemort's plans to raid Hogsmeade. How much did he care for Voldemort anyway? As long as he stayed away from Lily, things were all good.

The next night, James picked Lily up and apparated to the Leaky Cauldron, fully bent on getting her spirits up. It was only the dismal mood of the place. A cheerful atmosphere with lots of friendly people was sure to get her happy again.

"What are you doing, James?" Lily asked frantically, when she awoke. Tears sprang to her eyes for no reason. She'd had enough of this enigma that was James Potter. Why did he have to toy around with her like that?

"Lily, come on! Shh…" Tom saw the two and waved them over.

"Do you need a room?" he mouthed to James. He nodded desperately as Lily continued raving her heart out at him.

"….You can't just rush me around everywhere you please Potter!" she cried finally. James pushed open the door to their room and dragged her inside. Lily began again, "What in the world are you thinking in that little head of yours, James, I've had quite enough of your little riddles!" James growled and pulled her harshly to him. Lily quickly shut up, scared. James never used any force on her.

Her father had abused her mother a long time ago, and she often thought of how it would feel. He was a drunkard. He was driving drunk the night he died, the night of the car accident. Lily cringed at the memory, shouldn't she have forgotten? She was too young to remember it so well. James seemed to notice, but he didn't let go of the tight hold he had on her hand. The door locked itself, and Lily started as it did so. Of course, James did it wandlessly.

"I'm sorry," she gasped, sounding genuinely afraid. James realized what she was thinking by the sound of her voice and suddenly let go of her hand.

"I would never hurt you!" he said, surprised. Without waiting for her to reply, he kissed her lips. Lily kissed back willingly, tired of struggling against her stupid emotions. When James began to taste the salty tears that Lily was inadvertently shedding, he pulled away.

"What's wrong?" Lily asked dejectedly.

"Why are you crying?" he retorted.

"I dunno!" she said. She sat down on the double bed in the middle of the room. James sat next to her.

"I do though," he put her arm around her, "Everything just seems to be going against us, Lillums."

Lily looked at him. Where did that come from? She accepted the nickname soon, although, taking it as a sign that he still showed some affection for her. However weird 'Lillums' was.

"I know. Maybe you should just stay away from me James. Everything was going just perfect until I jumped in your life.

"But I can't live without you."

Now that the declaration was actually out in the open, Lily felt more scared than exhilarated or happy. It was in the way that he said it. Their mutual love was supposed to be a haven, something to trust in, not dangerous and fateful.

"Me too," Lily added, turning around and clasping her arms around him. They clung to each other until the last of the candles flickered out. The giant clock in the lobby faintly struck three, and James pulled away reluctantly.

"You have to sleep," he told her. She nodded, and since they had grown quite accustomed to the moonlight, they crawled further up the bed and underneath the covers. The summer was quite warm, but they were both too tired to notice.

"You're up," James said, pulling Lily out of bed by her hands. "Let's go, if we're to eat breakfast, or atleast a brunch, you have to start getting ready now!"

"Hm.." Lily replied, "James?"

"Yes, Lillums?"

"Isn't it just a bit obvious for Dumbledore to find us if we go on prancing about Diagon Alley at eleven o' clock in the morning?"

"Oh, don't worry, he knows that we're at the Leaky Cauldron." Lily could hardly contain her happiness though she dared not show it. So being with James was perfectly legal for once! No obligations!

"Well, that's good then," she said softly and got out of the bed. "Shall we go visit Sirius later on, then?" she asked, handing James the hand towel. She pushed him out of the bathroom.

"Sure, Lily, just as long as we don't go stay in that depressing place of theirs."

"Why does he stay there anyway, James?" She performed a few cleaning charms on herself as they didn't have much time.

"Because, of his…circumstances…he didn't get board anywhere," James said somewhat sadly, yanking on his robes as Lily came out in her bathrobe.

"Poor Remus." James handed Lily's robes to her and turned around as she got changed. She opened the door for him as he headed out. She locked the door and slipped the key in James' robe-pocket.

"I daresay we make a pretty good team," James said as they sat in the lobby, sipping the bitter black coffee. James smirked and Lily pelted him fondly across the head.

"Pervert," she remarked under her breath. "I could get used to this," James said, and Lily suppressed a smile.

*

"…so he told me about his idea of the Order of the Pheonix, and I agreed. We'd be like a subclause to the Ministry Aurors, of course, but it's much more secretive." James looked at Lily's pensive face.

"I'm in," she said. "Now let's go get some money, I need more coffee if we're to finish all this paperwork before tonight."

"Okay. We can't stay in the Leaky Cauldron forever though. I've been looking at a flat in the Hollow, not too far from the mansion. Until the formalities are all cleared up, and then we can move in there."

"Are you sure, James?" Lily asked. The thought of being so close to such painful memories brought tears to Lily's eyes. She dared not think of how bad James felt.

"Yeah, Lily, I'm over it." Lily didn't believe him, but she decided just to keep an eye on him. They could always move out. Being rich certainly had it's advantages. "Besides," he continued, "aren't you looking forward to being the mistress of one of the greatest fortunes in all of England's magical community?"

"Don't be silly. I wouldn't know what to do with all that money anyway."

"So Lily," James drawled a few hours of paperwork later, "You never celebrated your birthday, how about we take a break and go to the Alchemy?" Lily giggled.

"We have work, James!" she said firmly, "oh fine!" she relented finally at the sight of James pouty puppy face. "I suppose meeting some nice hot guys is the best way I can think of to celebrate my eighteenth birthday."

"Ok! I changed my mind, we do have a lot of work to do."

"Too late!"